


Star Shopping

by KingWinston



Series: Star Shopping [2]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Summer Romance, Summer Vacation, justin is a chaotic mess, winston is a brat, winston is clingy, zalex and chiego have a side story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:07:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 156,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25560049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingWinston/pseuds/KingWinston
Summary: Winston and Monty meet each other over the summer.[instagram @wontywilliams]
Relationships: Charlie St. George/Diego Torres, Justin Foley/Scott Reed, Montgomery de la Cruz/Winston Williams, Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall
Series: Star Shopping [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1972246
Comments: 255
Kudos: 494





	1. The Bonfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story is written in Monty's POV.

**Chapter One**

Eight weeks. Eight full weeks of summer. It almost sounds too good to be true.

School finished just a few hours ago and we're all already in summer mode. We have been for a while now. It's not just because of the hot weather or the fact that living in a small town like ours makes everything seem so much more summery. The farmer's markets, the gardens full of flowers and the tourists on their bikes do add to the effect but it's not about them. 

It's about where we are right now. And who we're with. We've been doing this every year since we were eleven, sneaking out of our houses and then making our way over here. Our parents didn't really care much back then and they certainly don't know, it's a small town and everyone knows each other. 

By midnight everyone is supposed to be here. 

We sit on the beach, sand in our shoes and stuck to our damp for the sea legs. Someone was smart enough to bring some chairs here last night but there still isn't enough for everyone. One of the girls, Chloe I think, brought two blankets and she's currently sitting on one of them with Zach by her side.

Chloe is local, Zach isn't. Zach and Bryce only come here for the summer. They spend the six weeks (eight this year) in their vacation home here and then they go back to their life in the city. But every time they come back, it doesn't feel like a year has passed. We looked older, we feel older but we manage to pick up from where we last left off.

About twelve more minutes until it's midnight, I know because Charlie put a countdown on his phone and he's laid it down in the middle of the circle so everyone knows when to light the bonfire. The bonfire is a mixture of sticks, schools books and other useless stuff we wanted to get rid of. High school is finally over and this is us moving on.

Charlie is also local. He's just a kid and he's not over with high school yet but he's cool and Alex invited him along this year. I don't mind.

Justin and Alex, they're already laying down on the sand, not caring that they've got sand all over themselves. They're so fucking out of it, I don't wanna know how much weed they smoked before I came here.

Ten minutes now. And Scotty still isn't here. What is he playing at?

Diego notices me glancing at the countdown on Charlie's phone and he checks his text messages once again. "He said he was on his way almost half an hour ago," Diego tells me and he looks around the group. No one else seems to notice that Scott isn't here.

"Maybe William came early?" Chloe suggests and she tries to give me a reassuring smile. 

Yeah. Maybe.

William is another one of the rich kids like Bryce and Zach. He comes over every summer and once or twice he stayed over for Christmas. He always stays with Scott's family and he does some work for them instead of paying rent and shit like that.

But William isn't meant to come until tomorrow and we all know that.

Seven minutes. I start jigging my leg. I'm lucky enough to be sat on one of the chairs. Alex was previously sat on it but I pushed him off of it and he just stayed on the floor not even putting up a fight. His head is by my leg, the one I'm jiggling and he sighs loudly.

"Can you stop doing that?" he asks me and he moves his head a bit to the left to be closer to Diego rather than to me.

"What's got you in such a pissy mood," I ask him but we all know the answer to that. Jess is supposed to be here. She played with Alex and Justin all year and now she's abandoning our seven-year-old tradition to spend the summer of her life in France. I don't blame her, if I was rich enough I'd do it too.

So now Alex and Justin are mopping around together and smoking weed like their life depends on it. Maybe they'll stop hating each other eventually.

There are two minutes left until midnight and we're all stressed out and annoyed when Hannah spots Scott's silhouette in the distance. He's not alone. There's someone by his right, a tall bulky guy with long hair that I know is William. But the guy on Scott's left, the skinny lanky guy, I have no idea who the fuck he is.

We start cheering and shouting over at Scott telling him to hurry up. He's laughing and messing about but he starts jogging towards us with William by his side. The guy on his left doesn't run but he picks up on the pace.

"Thirty seconds!" Bryce shouts at the top of his voice and we're all squealing excitedly at this point. We get up from the chairs, the sand, the blankets and we stand closer to the bonfire.

"Ten seconds," Charlie reminds us by holding his phone in his hand. Scott joins us at that point. No one has time to say hi to William or to ask Scott what took him so long, we can do that after.

"Who's got the fucking lighter?" I ask as I eye the countdown on Charlie's phone nervously.

And then I hear the clicking from the lighter in Zach's hand. He has a piece of paper in the other one and he sets it on fire. He eyes the countdown just like the rest of us and then when the screen shows that there's one second left, he throws the piece o paper onto the pile of our old lives soaked in gasoline.

We cheer and laugh as we watch our stuff gets absorbed by the flames, the fire eats them quickly and leaves nothing behind. Just ash.

***

I lose my chair privileges as soon as we get back to sit down. Scott's faster than me and he manages to get to the chair before me. All the other chairs are taken and I will not be sitting on a blanket with Chloe and Zach or the one with Alex and Justin. It all seems too coupley for me.

So instead I'm laying down on the sand. My arms are crossed behind my head so that I have something to rest on and I'm looking up at the dark sky. That's one advantage of living in the middle of nowhere, there's not many lights around and so it's easier to see the stars.

I've been able to steal a few glances at the new guy, Winston. William's younger brother. Not sure why he felt the need to invite him along but he's here now and none of us can do anything about it.

He's younger than us, seven months younger than me. I counted while William and Scott explained how they bumped into each other as Scott was on his way out to meet us.

"Monty here was worried stupid that you weren't gonna come," Diego teases me and I roll my eyes. I wasn't. I just didn't want Scott to miss the tradition. It's our last time doing it.

I just scoff in response because there's no point answering, Scott's already got a stupid grin on his face and he's looking down at me.

"Blame Winston," William tells me and he takes a drink out of his can of coke. No alcohol for him, we all know that. "We were on our way here when he fell and grazed his knee. We had to stop and make sure the little cry baby was okay."

Winston looks embarrassed by his brother and he just rolls his eyes. He's obviously not enjoying being introduced to the group like this. 

"Aw, come on, he thought there was a piece of rock stuck in his knee," Scott says joining in to the teasing. He always sucked up to William. William comes over and Scott changes his whole personality in order to fit in with him.

Winston's just shaking his head quietly at this point. If the conversation doesn't switch to something else, I feel like he might storm off somewhere.

Fortunately, Diego starts asking William about his job. If there's anything that William likes to talk about is himself, he could go on for hours just describing the hair products he uses. 

That's when I zone out. This is why we wanted William to arrive tomorrow, this bonfire was supposed to be for us, not for him and his shitty life stories. But then he starts talking about his brother and I tune in again.

"Yeah, I tried to get him into art but all he does is fuck around with those cameras of his," William says and he ruffles Winston's hair. He doesn't like it.

"Photography is art too," he mutters as he shoves William off of him. It's a bit awkward for the rest of us. The two brothers are obviously having a fight and the rest of us aren't sure whether we're allowed to laugh. Justin coughs awkwardly.

"He packed more cameras than he did clothes," Will says in between laughter as he shoves his brother. The chair wobbles and Winston almost falls off but he manages to balance himself just in time.

"Come on man, leave the kid alone," I say because no one else is willing to speak out. Winston looks up for a second and he locks eyes with me. I look away.

"Dude, I'm just kidding," William tells me as he rolls his eyes at Scott. "He's my brother. Chill out."

Chill out is something you should never say to someone who's already having trouble controlling his temper. William knows that and he does it anyway.

"We're just tryna smoke weed and have some fun," Bryce says quickly before any of us can start jumping at each other's throats. "Yeah? Let's just all relax."

And that's followed by a short awkward silence which Chloe interrupts by asking if anyone wants any of the cookies she brought. I love that girl.

William refuses to speak for the rest of the evening, trying to get us to feel bad for him probably. But we just ignore him and start talking about high school.

"That one time Monty turned the fire alarm on in the middle of the maths exam," Diego reminds us and we laugh at the memory. I'm actually kind of disappointed, I've done a bunch of stuff and this is what they choose to bring up? It's like the most basic thing I've done.

"I was actually doing pretty well in that exam," Alex complains and glares at me like I'm the reason he barely passed maths. He's such a cry baby.

'Remember that time you walked in on Justin fucking Jess in the cloakroom while you two were still together?" I want to say but it's all just high school bullshit. Soon it'll be long forgotten. Alex and Justin sure seem to have forgotten, laying together like they're best friends.

"I'm gonna go take a piss," I say and I get up from the ground. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with these guys but sometimes you just need a break.

"Wait, I'm coming too," Charlie says and he gets up from his chair. If it was anyone else, someone would have already made a homophobic joke. But it's Charlie, everyone loves him and no one wants to hurt his feelings. I'm just used to him following me around like a lost puppy.

"So what do you think of that new guy?" Charlie asks me once where stood pissing under a tree. I look straight ahead but Charlie looks to the side as he talks to me. He could at least try to act discreet about it.

I shrug as I pull my zipper back up. I'd rather not talk to Charlie with my dick in my hand. "He seems okay."

"Huh," Charlie says and he zips his jeans up too. "Seems a bit boring to me."

I raise an eyebrow as we start to walk back to the group. Boring? What gave him that idea?

"Are you part of the William Williams fan club too?" I ask him as my eyes rest on Scotty who's laughing at William's joke a bit too hard for my liking. William Williams. God, who names their kid that?

Charlie snorts. He hasn't known William for as long as I have, he doesn't get how much of a piece of shit he is. "Don't understand why you hate him so much. He seems alright."

Alright? He's anything but alright. But I don't get to argue my point because we reach the circle again and the attention turns to me for a second.

"See anything interesting by the tree?" Bryce asks with a smirk on his face and I hear sniggers coming from all around the group. What the fuck are they on about?

I sit back down on the ground and I shake my head as they all watch me with an amused look on their faces. "Other than my cock? No."

And Bryce has this look on his face like he knows something that I don't. Fucker.

***

There's only a few of us left around the fire now. It's died down so it's safe to sit closer to it. 

Zach and Chloe disappeared somewhere. They probably went to fuck and I wish I didn't care but I do. I always knew I was just Zach's temporary replacement. 

Justin and Alex went off somewhere with Hannah who promised to make sure they get home safe. She worries about all of us all the time.

Others just got tired and left one by one and now it's just me, Scotty, Diego, Charlie and the Winston kid. William left a while ago, said he needed to be up early tomorrow morning. Good riddance.

Scotty finally manages to roll up the joint after a failed attempt and then he passes it to me. I check to see if it's rolled up properly then I pick up a burning stick from the bonfire and I light up the joint before tossing it back into the pile of burning trash.

I haven't smoked in a while because I haven't gotten the chance. I had to help my dad out at the car repair shop almost every day and he kept a close eye on me to make sure I was sober. There was no point risking it.

Everyone watches me eagerly as I blow the smoke out through my lips. Charlie tries to lean forward to snatch it out of my hand but I pull away.

"This is for the big kids," I tell him with a grin before putting the joint back between my lips. I don't even get to inhale because Scott leans forward in his chair and he pulls it out of my mouth greedily.

"It's my weed," he says cockily before inhaling in himself. William's only been here for a few hours and Scott's already acting like a dickhead. William isn't around, he can drop the act.

Charlie and I lay on the grass side by side, the other three sit on their fancy chairs and look down at us. They're missing out, the stars look amazing tonight.

The joint gets passed around the circle from Scott to Diego to Charlie (after a little bit of teasing) and then finally to me. Once I'm done with it, I look at the Winston kid, is he supposed to he next?

"Here," I say and I sit up to pass it to him. He leans forward in his chair and he gently takes the joint from my fingers. He looks uncertain. "I'm sure it's nothing compared to the rich kid weed you have back home-"

"I've never tried it," Winston says honestly and he studies the joint between his fingers like its some kind of strange life form.

"Just don't get your slobber all over it," Scott tells him and Diego laughs. Winston looks even more panicked.

"Er I think I'll pass," he says and he tries to pass it back to Scott but he shakes his head.

"No, that's not how this works," Scotty tells him. "You smoke or you go home."

Winston looks disheartened. He probably wouldn't even know the way back home. Scott doesn't budge. It's like having William around but worse because I know it's all just an act.

I'm about to step in but then Winston brings the joint up to his lips and he takes a hit. You can see he's totally inexperienced and he chokes a bit on the taste.

Scott just laughs at him as he takes the joint back from Winston. Only after a few more hits does Scott start to drop the act.

"Truth or dare Monty?" he acts childishly as he passes the joint over to Diego.

I raise an eyebrow but I grin. I prefer this Scotty over the one that acts like an asshole. "Are we really doing this?"

Scott grins. "Yep. We're doing this. Choose."

If I pick truth, they'll make fun of me but I don't trust them enough right now to pick dare.

"Truth," I say simply which is followed by booing from the guys.

"Weak," Charlie says and he should be careful with what he's saying because he's within arm's reach and I could slap him if I wanted to.

Scott looks disappointed for a second and then he gets a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Okay," he says slowly and I'm already worried. "Would you rather get sucked off by William or suck William off?"

Diego laughs and Charlie giggles like a kid. Winston just looks uncomfortable that we're talking about his brother.

"What sort of faggy question is that?" I ask but I know I need to answer. Scott knows I'd rather jump off a cliff than answer. He fucking knows how much I despise William.

"Tick tock tick tock," Scott says in a silly voice. Winston is sat at the side watching me nervously. I don't even wanna know how awkward this is for him.

"I'd say... Get blown by William. I'd like to see him choke on my dick," I say and I take the joint from Charlie as he passes it to me. "Tell me Scotty, are his gag reflexes any good?"

Charlie chuckles and stares at me in admiration as I take a hit of the joint. I blow the smoke out through my lips as Scott glares at me in an amused manner. He knows what makes me tick and I know what makes him tick. It's only fair that I return the favour.

"Good one," he says and he tries to laugh but it's strained and I can see that he's pissed off again.

He then goes through the rest of the guys, making Diego drink beer through his nose (i swear Diego is his favourite) and then asking Charlie who he'd most like to get fucked by out of the four of us.

Charlie blushes and his eyes rest on me.

"What is up with you and those faggy questions today?" I sigh at Scott and he rolls his eyes at me.

"Let Charlie answer," he says and I shut my mouth. Charlie better not say my name or I'll leave right now.

"Err... Diego, I guess," he says in a rush and we start laughing as Diego just sits there paralyzed in his seat. But he recovers quickly.

"You're just jealous that both guys and girls wanna get fucked by me," he says turning the whole thing into a joke and Charlie relaxes.

"You're up now Winst," Scott says as he takes the join from Winston's hand. I cringe at the nickname. "Truth or dare?"

Winston hesitates. He looks like he wishes he left with William when he had the chance.

"Come on rich boy," Diego says and Charlie giggles again. Is he hoping to suck up to Diego now?

"Before I pick for you," Scott says and he has this evil grin on his face like he's already thought of the worst thing imaginable no matter what Winston chooses.

"Truth," Winston says quickly because we all know that's the safe option.

"Go on, ask him a faggy question then," I say just to piss Scott off like he's been pissing me off all night. I wish he didn't fucking come here.

Scott rolls his eyes at me and chooses to ignore me. "Okay truth," Scott says and he moves in his chair to face Winston. "Who's more of a fag, me or him." he nods in my direction and Winston's eyes land on me.

So that's his big question? But I guess he's just doing it to piss me off.

Winston looks at Scott and then back at me. He's a complete stranger to both of us and he's trying to work out which one is the wiser choice.

Diego and Charlie are just waiting, sharing the joint between then as they stare at Winston.

Winston looks down at the ground clearly overwhelmed by all the attention and then he pushes his hair away from his face. "I'm not sure."

"Just answer the question," Scott says and his dickhead behaviour is even starting to make me uncomfortable.

"Jesus you're acting like a kid," I mutter but no one pays attention to me. It was kinda funny at first, the game of truth or dare but now he's just making everyone uncomfortable.

"So?" Scott asks and Winston shrugs. "Just answer the-"

"Just shut the fuck up," I finish off for him. "You're so fucking annoying. I'm going home."

I stand up and I brush myself down from the sand that's stuck to my jeans and my shirt. Scott glares at me, Winston bites his lip like he thinks this is his fault and Diego and Charlie just look really uncomfortable.

"Have fun playing your silly little games," I tell them and I pick my shoes up from the sand on my way away from them. 

What does it fucking matter who's a fag and who isn't? 


	2. Happens

**Chapter Two**

Scott and I argue sometimes. But only sometimes. Our arguments last a few minutes and then we go back to normal like nothing ever happened.

I can't even remember what we argued about last night but I bet it was William's fault. Always is.

You don't really make plans in a small town like this. You just sort of meet up. That's why I'm not expected to show up at Scott's house.

Scott's dad is the one to open the door. He just raises an eyebrow and lets me inside without any questions.

It's only like nine in the morning but it looks like the whole house is awake. They're all stood around in the living room, even the Williams brothers.

"I just thought it'd be nice to have a black and white theme on his wall and then the other walls painted green," Scott's mother explains as she gestures with her hands. I stand in the doorway and I just observe the whole scene.

It's nice seeing William like this, unsure of himself. Because if there's anyone you can't argue with is Scott's mother. He paints for a living, mostly canvases but he does wall designs too. He doesn't just cover them in paint, he makes the wall into a giant canvas. He's done it for Scott's family before she few times and it wasn't just wall. He's painted the stair railings, the garden fence, the dining table and the ceiling in the master bedroom. I might hate him but you can't deny that he's talented.

Scott's mother is in the middle of explaining her big idea when her eyes land on me. "Ah, Monty! It's good to see you," she says and her mood seems to be lifted straight away. That's one advantage of our mother's being friends.

"You too," I say and William rolls his eyes like I shouldn't even be here. "Just coming over to get Scott."

And normally this is the part where Scott tells me he'll just grab his shoes and then he's out the door with me but he looks uneasy instead. Is he still pissed off about yesterday's argument?

"Sorry, I'm kind of helping out today," Scott says with an unbothered shrug. "Promised William I would."

He's not even been here for twelve hours and he's already fucking stuff up. So who the fuck am I meant to hang out with?

Chloe is busy with Zach obviously, Alex I can't stand, Bryce is just straight-up creepy and annoying, Charlie is too clingy to be around alone and Justin is doing stuff with his family. Maybe Diego then.

"I can go," Winston then says and everyone turns to stare at him. I have no doubt that this is the first time he's spoken today from the way they're all looking at him.

He won't be able to replace Scott but it would be weird to just say "no thanks" and just leave him here. So I just go along with it.

"Okay," I say with a shrug. It's not like Winston bothers me, he actually seems alright, I just don't know him.

"Let me just get my..." he says and then he disappears into the kitchen. A few seconds later he comes back with a backpack in his hand. William sighs and rolls his eyes. What is this guy's problem?

"Come on then," I say as Winston stares at me unsure of what to do. I start walking back to the front door and he follows me.

I realise that this might not have been my brightest idea once we spend five minutes just awkwardly walking in silence.

Clay Jensen passes us on his bike and saying hi to him was my greatest social interaction of the day.

"So where are we heading to?" Winston asks me as we walk down the sandy path. One thing I hate about small towns like ours, none of the roads are done properly. I get more sand in my shoes than I did last night at the beach.

"Town," I say simply. There's nothing else to do in this wretched town. You just go to the market square, buy some fruit and maybe listen to a street musician if you're lucky. It's usually that Tyler Down kid playing his guitar and trying to make money by taking requests.

Winston nods and I put my hands in the pockets of my shorts as we keep walking. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind Charlie being here right about now.

"So what do you do around here?" Winston asks. At least one of us is attempting to start a conversation.

"Drink. Smoke. Fuck," I say pausing between every word. "Sometimes we go to the beach, light shit on fire. Maybe even swim. But it gets dull after a while." No one wants to go to the beach every day of their life. "Must be pretty boring compared to what you're used to at home, huh?"

Winston shrugs. "Not really," he says and I scoff. I would do anything to live in one of those big towns. "I like it here. Seems peaceful."

Peaceful. And boring. Except on the days when we all decide to meet up. Those days aren't boring.

"So why did you decide to come with me?" I ask before the conversation can die down again.

"I guess I just needed a break from all the William worship," Winston tells me and I smile to myself. Finally, someone who's not completely obsessed with Will.

"That bad?" I ask and he chuckles lightly.

"They treat him like he's God's greatest creation," he tells me and he shakes his head in disappointment. Winston seems to be jealous of his older brother, there's nothing to be jealous of, Winston is tolerable compared to William.

When we get to the town centre, the stalls are already up and there's more than usual. They all know that the city kids came over last night and this will be their first destination.

They're not wrong. I already see Zach and Chloe looking over handmade jewellery and my heart skips a beat when I see him looking over at a ring. He's fucking eighteen, he can't seriously be thinking about this. He's obviously just playing her and then he'll go back to the city like nothing ever happened between them.

"So where to first?" Winston asks me snapping me out of my thoughts. I am his tour guide after all.

I look around at the endless rows of stalls, fruit, candy, clothes, jewellery, antiques, books, paintings... Anything that will attract tourist.

Winston is smiling at me waiting for an answer. I'm not really sure what to pick. "Um, you can walk around for a while if you want," I tell him awkwardly because I don't want to limit him on what he can and can't see. "Then we can meet back here in... Let's say half an hour?"

Winston nods like he likes the idea. "Okay," he says. "See you in half an hour then."

***

Zach and Chloe walk around hand in hand like newlyweds. It's disgusting but the locals stare and awe at them like they're some kind of zoo animals.

I haven't bought anything from any of the stalls. But I did get a peach from Hannah who's helping her parents run one of the many fruit stalls.

Her family owns a big orchard and most of us teenagers work there. We pick peaches, cherries, oranges and so on. The fruit is then transported to supermarkets in nearby towns as well as ours and we get paid decently.

"They're cute, right?" Hannah says cheerfully. The fruit stand isn't very popular with the tourists at the moment, they prefer looking at all the homemade bullshit for now. But it just means that Hannah has some free time.

So she saw me staring at Chloe and Zach, wonder who else noticed.

I shrug. Cute? Not really. What does Zach have that I don't? Oh right, he's fucking rich. It's not cute if she's only dating him for his money. And then I feel bad for just thinking it. Chloe isn't like that.

"Come on, lighten up," Hannah tells me and she shakes her head at me. "Even you can see that they're in love."

My stomach twists and turns. In love? They see each other for a few weeks once every year and they call it love? If that's what love is then I don't think I want it.

Hannah can see that I'm not being very responsive and she decides to change the subject. "Jeff said he's got something for you later," Hannah tells me. Jeff is her boyfriend but she has no idea what her boyfriend does behind her back. "He said he'll be working at the book shop all day."

"I'll pay him a visit when I have time," I tell Hannah just as a customer finally comes over and relieves me of having to talk to Hannah about her shady boyfriend. "See you later then."

I walk away without looking back, I'm too busy shooting daggers at Zach.

***

Winston is already waiting for me in the spot. But I'm pretty sure I'm on time. Or at least close to being on time. Not sure, I didn't keep an eye on the time.

He's not holding bags in his hands but the backpack he brought looks to be heavier.

"Where to now?" he grins at me. He's got a really nice smile for a boy. Guys around here don't really seem to care much about their hygiene.

"You hungry yet?" I ask him as I start walking back in the direction we came from. Winston follows.

"Not really," Winston says and I don't know him enough to be able to tell whether he's lying or not.

"Okay," I say. "There's just one place I need to go to and then I can drop you off back to Scott's."

Winston doesn't seem to like that idea. "Back to Scott's? But it's only been two hours, I bet William hasn't even finished his sketch yet," he complains to me as well walk on. I snort, even William's own brother doesn't want to be around him. "Please don't make me go back there."

To be honest, I don't have anything planned for today. I was just hoping to spend the whole day with Scott, make fun of some tourists and then hang out at the beach or something. But Scott chose William over me.

I sigh. "Fine, but annoy me and I'm walking you back home." Winston seems okay with that.

The book shop is empty when we walk inside. The little bell above the door rings but Jeff is too endorsed in his book to pay attention to us.

He's leaning over the counter, a book I'm one hand, the cover bent over the back and his tapping his other hand on the counter. He's surrounded by books that should have probably been put away on shelves a long time ago but Jeff is too busy reading. He would have lost this job a long time ago if it wasn't for the fact that no one else is willing to work here. Especially not for that wage. Luckily Jeff has a job on the side.

It's light outside, morning summer light could be flowing in through the windows but they're covered in old posters and advertisements that no one is willing to clean up.

"A hundred and... Twelve?" I say uncertainly once Winston leaves my side to walk around the small book shop.

Jeff looks up and grins at me. "Close. Hundred and nineteen," he says looking at the page number of his book. I've been here to talk to him too many times not to have developed some kind of weird game. I always try to guess what page number he's on. It's close enough for me.

"Come for your delivery?" Jeff asks me once he puts his book to the side and I step forward so that I'm on the other side of the counter.

He looks under the table, shifting through books and boxes and books in boxes until he finds an old battered copy of one of Shakespeare's plays. No one wants to read his plays unless it's for school so Jeff finds different uses for them.

Jeff slides the book over the counter to me and he pretends to be pressing buttons on the till while worriedly glancing in Winston's direction. "Who's this guy?"

"William's brother," I explain. Winston is flicking through some books from the art section that I'm pretty sure hasn't been updated since world war one.

Jeff's eyebrows shoot up. If there was a Williams Williams hate club then Jeff would be the founder of it. He makes me look like William's number one fan.

Jeff is friends with everyone. Except for William. And if that doesn't tell you anything about the guy then I don't know what will.

"Don't worry, they have nothing in common other than their last name," I say. Winston's proved to be quite likeable. Something William never will be.

Jeff just nods. He's not keen on rich boys in general. His opinion isn't about to change now.

I slide the folded up back notes I've been holding in my hand over the counter and Jeff places them into his back pocket with one quick flick of the wrist. He doesn't even stop to count because he doesn't need to.

Winston starts coughing by the bookshelves. I think some of the dust from the world war two books must have gotten into his lungs.

"You doing okay over there?" Jeff shouts over to Winston as he keeps coughing. He turns his body around to give us a quick thumbs up but he doesn't stop coughing and his eyes start watering.

"Get to work Atkins, this place is a mess," I tell Jeff and he rolls his eyes at me. He sits here and gets paid for reading books and making sure any customers get served. It's more than enough for how much he's getting paid.

Jeff walks out from behind the counter and he goes over to Winston.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and I look down. I hear Winston and Jeff talking about photography and using some foreign names. Jeff is quite smart even though he likes to pretend he isn't. No one would trust a smart drug dealer. He's just trying to see what to make of Winston.

It's a text from Charlie. I texted him long ago to ask if he'd wanna hang out later just in case hanging out with Winston and Winston only got awkward during the day. I finally have my reply. I'm supposed to come over later and pick him up. This would be so much easier if one of us owned a car.

I hear Jeff laugh. A genuine laugh and I'm not surprised that he likes Winston. He's able to make a good first impression on almost anyone.

***

Winston's legs hurt.

I told him that we have a long way to go until we reach Charlie's house and he was okay with it. Until he realised that I really _did_ mean 'a long way'

"Fuck, where are all the taxis?" he asks and looks around the sandy pathway as if expecting a yellow cab to drive past at his request.

I chuckle lightly at how much of a city kid he is. "Only about fifteen more minutes," I tell him. But it might be a little more than that with the way Winston is dragging is feet on the ground. If only he didn't have that backpack...

"Let me," I say. I stop in the middle of the pathway and he stares at me. "I'll carry the bag, it'll be easier for both of us." Then we might actually get to Charlie's before the sun sets.

He hesitates and then he shrugs the backpack off his shoulders. I take the straps and I put it on my back.

"Jesus, what have you got in here?" I ask him as we resume walking. It feels like he's packed at least ten rocks in here. 

Winston looks embarrassed and he shrugs. "Just... Some photography stuff."

So William really wasn't lying when he said the kid brought his camera everywhere.

We walk down the sandy bath to Charlie's house. I see a bike propped up against the gate at the front of the house but I don't think much of it. Charlie must just have a friend over, he doesn't know how to ride a bike.

I know Charlie said to meet him later but I'd rather just do it now. I've got nothing else to do. I knock on the front door and there's no answer. Winston stands behind me on the stone steps and I glance back at him.

"Knock again?" he suggests after we wait a couple of seconds and there's still no answer.

I knock again. Still nothing. But then I hear Charlie's voice from inside. Fucker, can he not hear me knocking?

I'm basically like Charlie's family, he's used to me coming and going without an invite. That's why I open the front door and walk inside as I would to my own house.

Winston follows and we walk through the hallway and into the living room where we see Charlie. And Diego. Fucking.

Charlie is on his hands and knees on the couch and Diego is standing behind him, thrusting into him.

"Fuck, guys. A little warning next time?" I sat as I turn on my heel and start pushing Winston towards the door again. His face is redder than red.

Diego and Charlie mutter an apology just as we walk out of the door and I shut it firmly behind us.

I think I need a smoke. I walk over to the swing in Charlie's garden and I sit down on one of them as I look for a cigarette in my pockets.

Winston hesitates and then he sits down on the other swing. He looks like he's seen a ghost. I hope to God he's not homophobic or he won't fit into this town at all.

"That was erm..." Winston says awkwardly and he stares at me. He's probably wondering why I don't seem to be bothered.

I shrug. "Happens."

Fuck I've got no cigarettes on me, I should have bought some while we were in town.

Winston raises an eyebrow. "So you're just okay with..."

With what? Two guys fucking? Or walking in on them fucking?

"Happens," I repeat. We all know that some guys and sometimes even some girls around here like to fuck. It's normal, we're used to it. I mean come on, we're horny teenagers no one cares how you choose to get off. "Everyone here sleeps around."

Winston nods slowly as if trying to understand. I thought he would, I thought city kids got up to ever crazier shit.

"And that's okay with everyone?" Winston asks me and he turns to me. "Just... Two guys being together?"

They're not together, they're just horny. I'm sure people don't mind them fucking in private but as soon as you see them kissing in public... Rumours spread quickly around here and reputations get ruined even quicker.

"Don't know if you've noticed but there aren't many girls around here," I point out. Any girls remotely our age move away as soon as they can, they don't want a life in a shitty town like this. "Guys are guys, you know? You get horny and you have to get off somehow. Every guy's done something with another guy."

"Have you?" Winston asks me and I feel his eyes burning into me. Nice, now he thinks I'm a fag.

I shake my head. "Nah. Just girls for me." Except for that one time I kissed Scott on Valentine's Day as a joke. Or that one time I let Justin jerk me off while we were laying in bed together. It doesn't count though, both of us were drunk and we were both horny.

"They're not gay," I tell Winston feeling like I need to defend my friends. "They just fuck around together but they're both straight. Or at least Diego is. I think Charlie might be a twink, I'm not sure. So stay away from him if it makes you uncomfortable."

I mean well, I'm just trying to give him advice but Winston frowns.

"Why are you talking about him like that?" he asks. "He's not some kind of wild animal, liking guys doesn't make him dangerous."

Sorry, didn't know we had a gay rights activist around here.

I roll my eyes. "I'm not, just trying to look out for you," I say and then I get this weird feeling in my stomach. Look out for him? I've been feeling protective over him ever since I saw William try to push him off his chair last night/today morning.

"I don't need you to look out for me," Winston tells me and then he gulps. "If I want to fuck a guy... I'll fuck a guy."

I stare at him. Well, that was quick. I didn't expect him to get used to this so quickly.

I can't help but grin. He's the polar opposite of William. When Will found out what us guys got up to around here... He was more than disgusted. He said he didn't want to know about our stories and he didn't want to see us with our tongues down each other's throats.

So then Zach kissed Alex as a joke, fully shoving his tongue in Alex's mouth while staring William directly in the eye. That was last year.

"Just make sure to use protection," I tell him just in case. "Some guys around here..."

You never know who slept with who and people refuse to get tested because they don't want rumours about themselves.

Winston raises an eyebrow at me and chuckles to himself. "I'm not new at this," he tells me and I stop swinging.

"Wait," I say and Winston turns his head. "Are you like... Fully gay?"

He shrugs like its no big deal. "Yeah, I guess," he says and it kind of freaks me out.

"So like... You're gonna marry a guy? You're gonna have kids with a guy?" I ask in disbelief. Sure, some of us like fucking around with each other but in the end, everyone ends up with a woman. I've never met anyone who was this sure that he was gay.

"That's the plan," Winston says. It's interesting, talking to him. But we don't get to carry on our conversation because Diego comes out of the house. Charlie isn't with him.

"Leaving already?" I ask him as he heads towards the bike that's leaning against the gate.

Last night Charlie said if he wanted anyone to fuck him it would be Diego. And now it's happened. They sure move fast.

Diego shrugs awkwardly and I can't help but wonder why I don't feel awkward or uncomfortable about this. I just saw him thrust his dick into Charlie's ass but it doesn't affect me. Maybe because I've already walked in on something like this before.

Valentine's Day I walked in on Alex and that Marcus guy. And two months before that on New Year's Eve, I saw Ryan getting fucked by Tony against the wall. It's normal.

"You could still hang out with us?" I offer. Diego is my friend too. And he's Charlie's friend and he seemed to like Winston last night at the bonfire. Why shouldn't we hang out?

"You sure?" Diego asks me and he glances at his bike. "Won't it be weird?"

It will be if he keeps on bringing it up every five seconds. He just needs to stop stressing over it.

"Why would it be?" I ask and he understands: I'm erasing that memory from my head.

So Diego agrees. "Okay I'll come," he says. "We just have to wait for Charlie, he's cleaning himself up." Diego clears his throat and Winston turns red again. Probably thinking about Charlie cleaning himself off.

"One more thing," I say and Diego looks up at me. "You're giving your bike to this guy before he can complain about his feet hurting again."

I nod at Winston and he grins at me. At least now I won't have to carry that heavy bag for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the comments and kudos and everything else xx  
> hope you're liking this story so far, there will be more wonty interaction in the next chapter xx


	3. Rotten Apples

**Chapter Three**

I'm not sure what time it is but it's dark. We're using our phones as flashlights because there are no streets lamps or anything like that anywhere nearby.

We're laying in the middle of a field. High off our heads. I can't remember a single conversation we've had or a single word I've contributed to the conversation. It was probably all bullshit anyway.

Winston isn't doing so well. And by that I mean he's more high than the rest of us. We usually smoke a joint at least twice a week or so during the summer just because we can but I don't wanna get him addicted.

"I'm fucked up," Winston says quietly as we stare up at the stars. Such pretty stars.

Charlie mumbles something in agreement and then he groans. "I'm hungry."

I smack him on the forehead and he gasps at the sudden action. "Shut the fuck up," I tell him. "You ate most of the food."

It's true, we all contributed some money for the snacks on our way to the field but Charlie ate most of it all. Even the vinegar crisps that he hates. He doesn't get to complain.

Charlie rubs his forehead and pouts at me like a child. Diego just laughs at him. This is just a great example to Winston of how two guys can fuck one minute and then be back to being friends the next. He'll understand how this works soon.

"Hey kid," Diego says and he nudges Winston's shoulder. Winston moves closer to me and I move closer to Charlie. "When's your curfew?"

We don't have curfews so we never have to ask. Does Winston even have a curfew? Knowing William, he probably does.

"No curfew," Winston says and he rubs his eyes and blinks. "But I'm tired."

"Mhm," I say. My whole body feels limb too, I could fall asleep right here if I just closed my eyes. "But I'm not sleeping on the field again."

Diego laughs obviously remembering the last time we did this. It wasn't with Charlie, it was Diego, Scott and me. Back when William wasn't around so Scott was acting like a decent friend.

"Again?" Winston asks and he turns his head to look at me.

"Oh kid, give us a week and you'll be used to falling asleep in much weirder places," Diego tells him and he starts to sit up. "But yeah, we should get going."

I'm glad at least Diego is sober enough to stand up. His wobbles a bit and then he walks over to me and holds his hand out. I groan because I really don't want to get up. Not yet.

But then I manage to sit up, take Diego's hand and he pulls me up to my feet. I stagger a bit and I hold onto Diego trying to stabilise myself. Once I can feel my legs again, I let go of Diego and I turn to look at Winston who is still laying down on the ground.

Diego picks Charlie up the same way he helped me but Charlie holds onto him longer than I did. Charlie sure does get attached quickly.

"Come on, let's get you home," I tell Winston and I hold my hand out. But he shakes his head and chuckles lightly.

"Don't make me go back to Will," he says. "He'll give me so much shit for coming home this late."

"That's your problem," I tell him. He sighs and then he grabs my hand. I pull him up to his feet and he slips on the grass and almost drags me back down to the ground with him.

"Fuck," he laughs as I try to get myself as well as him on our feet. I wrap my other arm around his back so it's easier to hold him up. I chuckle and I manage to pull him back to his feet.

Diego is holding our phones, he must have picked them up from the ground and he shines the light at us. "All good to go?"

I nod and Winston bends down to pick his backpack off the ground. We tried to stuff our food and trash into it but he's very protective over his cameras. So now we've also got a bag of trash to carry around. We can't leave it here and so Charlie picks it up from the ground and carries it as we start walking in one direction looking for the sandy path and shining our phones at the ground.

We've only been walking for about two minutes or so when I feel a hand on my shoulder and another one on my hip. My body stiffens and I stop in place. Winston knocks into my back not expecting me to stop.

"Carry my backpack for me please?" he asks childishly and he gives me a wide grin like he can just get what he wants by smiling. He can.

"I'm not your bitch," I tell him but I start taking the backpack off his back all the same. He can't stop grinning knowing that he got his way. I think Charlie's more mature than him.

Once the bag is on my back, he pats me on the shoulder and grins while looking down at the ground. "I owe you. I'll be _your_ bitch now," he tells me and I feel my stomach flip. I don't even get to respond because he runs forward and goes to join Diego who is way ahead of us.

"The kid's weird, right?" Charlie says joining me. I start walking. Kid. Charlie's younger than him but Winston is a kid to all of us.

"Mhm," I agree still thinking about what he said. The kid's too high to think properly.

We eventually reach the path and we see Diego's bike in the distance. They're still ahead of us, Winston and Diego. I think Diego's trying to help Winston walk because Winston keeps leaning on him. I feel this weird feeling in my stomach, like that should be me, you know? I've spent the entire day with the guy and now I'm even carrying his backpack. But I guess it's Diego's turn with him now.

"He's gay you know," I tell Charlie out of nowhere. Winston and Diego are too far ahead to hear us talking.

Charlie raises an eyebrow. "...Okay? And?"

I shrug. "Just saying. If you're looking for anything long term..." Diego is straight, we both know that. He may as well find someone else before he breaks his heart obsessing over Diego.

"Nah," Charlie says. "You can have him."

I turn to him. "What?"

Charlie chuckles to himself. "He's all yours," he tells me and then he picks up his pace and skips over to Diego and Winston leaving me behind.

I wasn't aware that I wanted him. 

***

We separated from Diego and Charlie a few minutes ago because they live nowhere near me. And now I'm alone with Winston again. His phone died and now he's using my phone as a flashlight.

"Is your house closer than Scott's?" he asks. He can't already be tired, he just got off Diego's bike a while ago.

"Mhm," I say because I'm barely standing on my own two feet too. Dragging his backpack as well as him along... It's a lot of work. "I'll drop you off at Scott's and then I'll go back home though. Don't worry."

"Hmm," Winston says and then he goes quiet for a moment. The door will probably be locked, it's past one in the morning and I'll have to help him get in through the window. But Winston has another idea.

"Can I stay at yours instead?" he asks and looks at me with wide eyes like the puppy eyes will work on me. Not this time.

I shake my head. "Only a few more minutes and we'll be at Scott's. Just hang on."

Winston frowns. "Yea but..." he says and then he sighs. "Please don't make me go back to William."

I roll my eyes at him. I understand where he's coming from, no one wants to be around William for too long except for Scott. But it's his brother for God's sake, he'll be fine.

"We can hang out tomorrow again if you like," I tell him and he finally gives up and nods.

"Okay," he says and we walk in silence for a few minutes until we pass my house. The gate is closed and the lights are off so I'm guessing I'll have to climb over the gate again.

I would be in so much trouble if I came home this late last year, my dad would have to wake up to let me inside and then he'll lecture me on staying out late. But I'm eighteen now and for my eighteenth birthday, my dad and Tony turned the barn into a little house for me. It just used to be the place where we kept all of our shit and some car parts. Now, it has a bathroom, a small kitchen and my own room. 

I think my dad just did it to convince me to stay and not move out to the city like the rest of the kids. He's not so bad, my dad.

"That's my house," I say as we pass it and then I point to the barn by the side of the house. "That's where I live."

Winston nods. "I'm not gonna try to visit you though, I'd probably get lost."

I laugh at him. "Yeah... Don't worry, I'll pick you up from Scott's." And hopefully, then even Scott will want to hang out with us.

"Tomorrow?" Winston asks as if making sure and I nod again. We walk for a few minutes again and then Winston turns to me. "You know... People always prefer Will to me. You're the first person to..."

"Not be a part of the William Williams fan club?" I ask and I scoff at his ridiculous name again. Winston laughs.

"Yeah..." he says and then he sighs. "William Williams..."

"Were your parents drunk when they named him?" I joke and Winston laughs again. I always try to give William shit for his name but he thinks it's 'unique'.

"They thought they were being different. 'Artistic'," Winston explains and now I understand why William's head is so far up his ass. "They thought it was a good name for like... in the future. When William gets famous. They've had it all planned out before he was even born."

We started off by joking but now Winston sounds a bit sad. I have a feeling that even his parents pick William over him.

"And then I got stuck with 'Winston'," he says turning it back into a joke. It's still a better name than William Williams.

"Try Montgomery," I say and I cringe at the name. I never use my full name anymore, I just go by Monty.

"Montgomery..." Winston says trying to name out. "I like it."

I raise an eyebrow at him and he grins. He's probably the only one who likes the name. "I've had to deal with two years of Scott calling me 'Monte' just because he thought it was funny." I find myself telling him and I doubt he cares.

He chuckles softly. "Yeah, it kind of is," he says and then he sighs. "You seem close. All of you. I mean, as a friend group."

We grew up together, we spend almost every second of our lives with each other. But now Diego will be going away to some college in Pennsylvania and Scott managed to get himself a place at NYU. Then it'll just be me and Charlie staying here. 

"We are," I say and I realise that this is probably our last summer together. My stomach twists. 

"You're really easy to get along with. All of you," Winston tells me as we turn right to the path leading up to Scott's house. Approximately five more minutes. "I don't have friends like that back at home."

So he thinks he's friends with us just because we smoked a joint together? Yeah, I guess he is. As weird as he is, he kind of fits in.

"Don't compare those city kids to us," I joke and he laughs even though it's not funny. We all have our stereotypes of the city kids from seeing all the rich kids come here for the summer. Winston isn't really like them. 

I mean, sure, he's still rich and kinda not used to small-town living. But he doesn't look down on us like most of them did. I think it took Bryce three weeks his first summer here to eventually start talking to us. Winston just slotted right in.

We walk for a couple of minutes and the house starts to come into view. Total darkness except for the light in the living room. I bet William is still painting his 'masterpiece'. 

"So you got a girlfriend?" Winston asks me and I turn to him. "You know, you said you just-"

"It's complicated," I say. I know what I told him, that I only fuck girls. In reality, there's only one girl.

Do I have a girlfriend? Sometimes. When Zach isn't around.

"Complicated?" Winston asks. "How can a relationship be 'complicated'? If you really wanted it to work then it should be anything but complicated."

Complicated. Because she's my first choice and I'm only her second choice. If I'm lucky, I'm her second choice. I don't know where Chloe and I stand anymore. 

I shrug as we continue walking. "Sometimes you think you're on the same page, you know? You think both of you want the same thing. And then one day you wake up and you realise you were never even reading the same book."

Winston stares at me with a slightly raised eyebrow. Yeah, I guess I shouldn't open my mouth when I'm high.

"I'll help you get in through the window," I tell Winston wanting to change the conversation. "Which one's your room?"

I hope it's the one on the bottom floor, that way it'll be easier for him to get inside without having to climb on my back. 

"It's like... next to the kitchen," Winston tells me. Downstairs guest room then. So William and Scott have their rooms next to each other. Good to know.

I walk him around the house so if anyone is in the living room then they can't see us. We reach the kitchen window.

The locks on the window are broken, on this one and the one leading up to the bathroom upstairs. Scott broke them years ago so he could sneak in and out of the house easier. You just have to know where to apply the right amount of pressure.

I push on the window at the same time as I shove my key in the gap between the window and I keep moving the key and pushing until I hear the click. Then I push the window as far as it can go and turn to Winston with a grin.

"You think you can fit in here?" I ask him and I gesture to the gap.

"Do I really have a choice?" he says and he gently pushes me out of the way on his way to the window.

He places his knee on the window sill on the outside and then he sticks his head in through the window. I really should have told him to go legs in first but his head and upper body are already on the inside.

"Fuck I'm stuck," he then says and he puts his hand over his mouth to muffle the laughter.

The leg of his shorts caught onto the uneven wall of the house and it's about to rip his shorts if he moves his leg.

"Don't move," I tell him so he's stuck in a position where his hands are touching the kitchen floor, one of his knees is resting on the kitchen counter and his other leg is hanging outside the window.

I unhook his shorts from the jagged part of the wall as he waits for me to be done. My hand brushes past his upper thing even though I don't mean it to and then he moves his leg inside.

He loses his balance like I knew he would and he lands on the floor with a loud thud.

"Shit," he hisses under his breath and he gets up off the floor and stares at me.

I put a finger to my lips and he stays still and keeps his mouth shut as we hear footsteps in the living room. But then they're gone and Winston starts grinning again.

"Thank you," he mouths to me as I close the window again.

I give him a small nod and I start to turn away. Then I stop and turn back around where he's still grinning at me.

"Night," I say and I give him a small wave. I hope he can lip read. He can.

"Night," he says back and then I turn away from the window and walk around the house again.

***

I hope Winston isn't expecting me to come to pick him up anytime soon. There's one thing that I forgot to tell him about, my summer job.

I work Sundays to Thursdays just like the rest of us so we have the whole weekend off.

There are some new people joining us, not just the city kids but also local kids who are over fourteen. The Bakers don't like to employ anyone under fourteen.

It's good pay, good atmosphere, actually kind of fun. But we have to be up early. I haven't slept for more than five hours.

I was kind of hoping to see Scott around but I think he's with the other group picking cherries. I'm stuck with picking apples.

Zach and I are picking from the same tree, he can reach the parts higher up while I focus on the ones lower down. My face is at eye level with his crotch because he always gets the tallest ladder.

"So what did you do last night?" I ask him as I throw a rotten apple to the floor. I've worked here long enough to know which apples are acceptable and which ones are not.

Zach sighs. "Just... Watched a movie with Chloe. You know?"

Yeah, that's the thing. I _do_ know. I do all those things with her when he's not around. Of course, no one is allowed to know about that. I'm pretty sure Chloe is ashamed to be seen with me.

"Hmm," I say like I couldn't care less what he does.

I want to hate Zach, I really do. I want to hate him for taking what I want. But I can't. Zach's a nice guy. Apart from Winston, he's probably the only city kid that I can tolerate. We actually used to be very good friends before Chloe came into the picture. It was Alex, Zach, Scott and me. Sometimes Diego and Justin hung around.

"What about you?" Zach asks and he tilts his head down to look at me. "Judging by the eye bags I'm guessing you didn't have a quiet night in."

I think he's talking about sex judging by the tone of his voice and the expression on his face. He's always nosy about who's sleeping with who. I mean, everyone is really.

"Just hung out with the guys. Smoked for a bit and then I went home," I say simply as I drop yet another bad apple to the floor. I think that one bad apple ruined the ones around it.

"Did, erm... Did Scott hang out with you?" Zach asks unsurely and he's giving me this look of pity.

What does he care? "No," I say simply. I don't want this conversation to turn to Scott. He's hanging out with his new bestie William now.

Zach sighs and he goes back to picking his apples. "Are you guys alright?" he asks me casually and I freeze in placement. Why. Does. He. Care. "Charlie told me-"

"We're good," I say. If I find out that Charlie has been running his mouth again... This time I'll do more than just push him into the water. He better not make me regret hanging out with him.

"He was just busy with William," I explain further. He chose William over me but it's fine. He only gets to see William twice a year, it's understandable that he wants to spend more time with him.

Lunch comes around and I finally see Scott. We all have our break together in the garden by the pond and under the trees. Mrs Baker has already set out our food on the table but we know we're free to see on the grass in the shade if we want to.

"Hey!" I shout over to Scott who is stood by the table talking to Justin. They turn around and grin at me. Okay so looks like we're friends still.

"Hey," Scott says and he hands me a clean plate for me to put my food on.

Justin gives me a small smile and then he leaves us to it and goes over to talk to Alex and Diego.

I want to start a conversation with him about something but I just don't know what. So instead I just start piling spaghetti onto my plate and waiting for him to say something.

"Find anything good at the market yesterday?" Scott asks me and I shrug.

"Not really. Just bullshit for tourists," I say and I put some fries on top of my spaghetti. Scott watches me with intrigue. "Want some?"

I grin at him and he sighs. "Sure," he says and he opens his mouth waiting for me to stuff his mouth with fries. This is the Scott that I like.

I shove a handful of fries into his mouth and he manages to chew all of them without any falling out of his mouth and to the ground.

"Did you go to see Jeff yesterday?" Scott asks me once he stops chewing. Really it's code for 'do you have any weed'.

"Mhm," I say as we walk over to a free spot under the trees with our plates. Scott sits down cross-legged while I just sit with my back against the tree and my legs sprawled out.

"Do you wanna hang out after?" Scott asks me as he puts a fork of spaghetti in his mouth. "Wherever. You can choose, I don't mind."

I promised Winston that I'd hang out with him but now Scott is asking me to. And I'd choose Scotty over anyone any day. But I might as well make him work for it.

"I don't know..." I say uncertainly and it's nice to watch Scott's face fall. So maybe he does care about spending time with me after all. "I promised Winston I'd go see him."

"Winston?" Scott frowns. "The guy's grounded."

Grounded? I stare at Scott but he's totally serious.

"What do you mean 'grounded'?" I ask.

"William caught him sneaking into his room late last night-or this morning even. So he kind of grounded him," Scott explains to me and now I feel a bit guilty for getting Winston into trouble. I kind of feel like going over there and having an argument with William about how he can't ground Winston.

But Scott's waiting for an answer still. "Erm, sure. I guess we can hang out after," I tell him and he grins at me completely forgetting that Winton was ever mentioned.

***

"I get why you don't like him, you know? I know you have like... This idea of a good friend in your head. And I know that William doesn't exactly fit the criteria."

Do I? I didn't know there was a criteria to meet. I think Scott's just high, to be honest.

We sit on one of the giant rocks at the beach in order to avoid getting sand in our shoes. There are some remains of our bonfire laying around still, a half brunt maths book, some ash and twigs that for some reason didn't burn.

"So does William fit _your_ criteria?" I ask as Scott passes the joint to me. Spending another day of my summer by getting high.

Scott shrugs with a small smile on his face. "He's alright," he tells me. "If only you'd give him a chance."

I roll my eyes. I gave William chances. A lot of them. He always behaved like a dickhead in the end. "Let's not talk about William," I tell Scott and I blow smoke out through my lips. Scott's made it clear that he likes Will and he's not changing his mind any time soon.

"I think the guys are planning a road trip again," Scott tells me and I pass the joint to him. Our legs dangle over the rocks and I keep my eyes on the water in front of us.

"Who's 'the guys'?" I ask him. He could either mean our friend group or maybe the city kids or maybe someone we just sometimes talk to like Alex.

"Bryce and Zach," Scott says. "I heard them telling Diego about it. A guys-only weekend."

Guys only? That should be fun. 

"William can't go, obviously, but I was thinking about going so if you..." Scott trails off and he looks at me. So he finally wants to spend some time with me.

"Yeah, could be fun," I say with a shrug and I take the join from between Scott's fingers. 

"Great," Scott says and he gives me this wide grin and I stare at him. Scott acts like a completely different person when he's not around Will. I just wanna know why he tries so hard to impress him.

But I'm not going to bring Will up again, wouldn't want Scott to go back into dickhead mode.

Scott is still grinning at me like he's waiting for something. I place my hand behind me on the rock to stabilise myself and then I sort of lean back and stare back at Scott.

I've never... I mean, I kissed Scott once. A quick peck on the lips and he didn't even have time to kiss me back. He laughed after and we just forgot about it.

But now I'm leaning in again, closer and closer to him. I should really stop smoking so much. 

Scott doesn't stop me, his grin slowly fades and he stays in place waiting for me to get into his personal space. We're not gay... But maybe he's just horny? We know what our friends do with each other, but we've never really had a conversation about it. 

Then, when my face is only inches away from Scott's, he wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me into this awkward type of hug. He puts his head on my shoulder and that's over. He didn't want to kiss me. I just imagined it.

"I'll walk you home?" Scott mumbles into my shoulder and I only manage a shaky nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope youre enjoying the story, id love to hear your opinions on it :)


	4. Tattoos

**Chapter Four**

Scott was acting normal at work today. My arms ache from reaching up to pick the apples for another day and I wish I could just sleep for the rest of the day. I have no plans anyway.

"Hey, Tony!" I shout as I walk through the gate to our property. He's working on some car in front of the garage and he looks up at me from polishing the side of the car. "Dad not around?"

Dad doesn't like me sleeping in bed all day, if he saw that I had even a bit of spare time, he'd get me to help him and Tony out in the garage.

Tony shakes his head as I approach him. "Went and took Estela to the dentist," he tells me. "She's been complaining about a toothache all day."

The dentist? Could take them a while then. I should be able to at least catch up on some sleep. "Alright," I say and I start heading towards the barn.

"Monty," Tony shouts after me stopping me in my tracks. I turn around.

"Yeah?"

"You've got a visitor," Tony tells me and he nods towards the barn. A visitor? Charlie? He said he wanted us to hang out together more. "I told him to wait inside for you."

So maybe not Charlie. Tony would tell me if it was Charlie. I nod uncertainly and I leave Tony to polishing the car.

I slide the door of the barn to the side and there he is. William's brother Winston. He's stood by one of my shelves, looking at medals and sports trophies from high school and before that. He doesn't seem to know I'm here.

I clear my throat and he jumps and puts the trophy that he's holding back on the shelf. "S-sorry, I was just looking," he stutters and he keeps his arms by his sides as if to show me that he's not planning on touching anything else.

What is he doing here? And more importantly, how did he find my house? He was high and it was dark when I showed him it. Winston kind of gets the hint that I'm surprised at his presence after I just stand in the doorway staring at him like an idiot.

"I, erm... I thought we could hang out?" he says. I was meant to hang out with him yesterday but he was grounded, I was hoping he wouldn't hold it against me.

"William unground you?" I ask him as I start walking towards my bed. He looks embarrassed and he looks down at the ground.

"Did Scott tell you about that?" he asks as I get on my bed and lay down with my arms crossed behind my head.

"Mhm."

"And here I was thinking you just didn't want to hang out with me," he says. No, I just chose Scott over him. I wish I hadn't.

"So how did you get here? Google Maps?" I ask him and he rolls his eyes as he starts to make his way over to my bed.

"No..." he says and he stops at the foot of the bed. "I just tried to remember the way we walked."

I grin. "How many times did you get lost?" I doubt a city kid like him who's never been here before would just be able to find my house at first try.

Before Winston answers, he gets on my bed and lays down next to me. I turn to him but he's looking up at the ceiling. He's getting really brave, isn't he?

"Maybe once or twice," he tells me. I raise an eyebrow and he starts grinning showing off his teeth again. "Okay fine, Tony found me on the side of the road. I asked him for directions."

I laugh at him. "Aww look at you trying to be all independent and coming to get me," I say and I try to ruffle his hair but he smacks my hand away. 

"Does that mean we can hang out?" he asks hopefully and I sigh. My arms still ache and I'm still tired from not being able to sleep all night. Thanks for that Scotty.

Winston waits for an answer as I stretch and groan. "Uh, where did you wanna go?" Like I said, there's not much to do and see around here. He's pretty much seen it all. 

"Come on, you're the tour guide, aren't you?" he says with a raised eyebrow and I sigh. I feel like I'm kind of responsible for him. 

"You don't mind getting grounded by William again?" I tease him as an idea pops into my head. I'll just need to text the others to let them know what we're doing.

Winston rolls his eyes. "Again? I'm still grounded," he tells me and I smile at him. William hates it when someone goes against him. "I had to sneak out the window. I doubt he noticed though, he was too busy drawing his pretty little designs on the wall."

He sounds annoyed and I'm guessing William must have really pissed him off by grounding him. 

"You okay?" I ask him and he stares at me like I've gone mad. Seriously? Why am I asking him?

He nods and then breaks into a grin. "So? What have we got planned for today?"

***

I think Winston regrets wanting to hang out with me.

"No, I'm not doing that," he says and he tries to back away from the tree. Luckily, I'm there to stop him. I place my hands on his shoulders and I turn him back around.

We're standing by the lake where the rope is hanging off the tree. We've already done two demonstrations (Scott and Justin) to show him that this is completely safe. You just hang onto the rope, swing and then jump into the water. It's not hard.

I push him back towards the rope, my hands still on his shoulders and he drags his feet. Zach is holding the rope for him, Diego is watching us with an amused expression on his face while Alex seems to be recording on his phone. He's alright now that he's not mopping around about Jess 24/7.

Alex is the only one of us who chooses to wear a shirt, the rest of us are just in shorts. 

I take my hands off of Winston's shoulders as he reaches up to take the rope from Zach. He looks back at me nervously. "There _is_ a hospital nearby, right?"

I grin and laugh at him. "Hospital for what?" I make fun of him. "You planning on breaking a leg?"

He can't hurt himself, we've made sure of it. I'm just glad that none of the girls are here or they'd already be telling us to leave Winston alone.

Winston still hesitates as he looks at the water where Scott and Justin are trying to drown each other. Scott's been acting normal around me so I guess last night... It was nothing.

"Come on," Zach says and he claps his hands together. "If you fall in or something I'll jump right in to save you. You're safe with us."

Diego laughs and Alex rolls his eyes. Safe with us? Yeah right. When have we ever done anything safe?

Winston finally gives in and I step to the side to give him some space. He takes the rope, takes a few steps back and then swings on the rope. He lets go once he's coming down from the highest point and he makes a large splash when he falls into the water.

Zach, Diego and I cheer loudly. Alex gives a half-assed whoop like he doesn't even want to be here. I nudge him my elbow and he starts cheering a bit louder.

Winston's head bobs up from the water and he shakes his head to get the wet hair away from his eyes. "Fuck!" he shouts and then he starts laughing. Justin starts splashing water at him and Winston swims over to them to join the water fight.

"Okay. My turn," Zach says and he jumps into the water with ease. Zach and I could really get along if it wasn't for Chloe being in the way.

Alex smiles as he watches Zach swim around to Scott just to dunk Scott's head underwater. 

"Nice necklace," I say to him when the sunlight catches on the silver piece of jewellery around Alex's neck. It's a silver chain with a tree charm. It looks familiar, I think I've seen it somewhere.

"Uh, thanks," Alex says awkwardly as he looks down at the necklace resting on top of his T-shirt. Then he grabs it and hides it under his shirt like he doesn't want anyone else to see it. Okay then, weirdo.

"Monty, you coming?" Winston shouts from the water and my attention immediately turns to him. He's bobbing up and down in the water, water from his wet hair dripping down his face and he's grinning at me. If I had teeth like that I'd be smiling all the time too.

"One sec," I shout over to him. My phone is in my pocket and I'm not jumping in the water with it. I take it out and look around for somewhere to put it.

Winston's bag is leaning against the tree. I walk over to it, open it and stick my phone inside. I better remember to take it out later.

Diego jumps in the water just seconds after, Alex sits down under the tree.

"What's up with you?" I ask him and he shrugs. Normally I wouldn't care but I kind of feel like making Winston wait a little before I get in the water with him.   
  
Alex sighs and he stares straight ahead where Zach is currently being attacked by Diego and Scott. "Just not feeling like it today," he tells me and he looks up as if expecting advice. I shouldn't have asked.

Alex sees that I look uncomfortable and he looks away. "Nevermind," he says and I pat him lightly on the shoulder before grabbing the rope and jumping in the water. I do a backflip in mid-air and I land in the water gracefully. Fuck, I should do this professionally.

"Nice," Winston says when I come up from the water and I wipe the water away from my eyes. I look over and Alex is still sitting by the tree looking more grumpy than ever.

My session of staring at Alex is interrupted by Winston splashing water in my face. My mouth was slightly open because I was breathing heavily and some of the water lands on my tongue. 

"Fuck, not the STD water," I say and I spit into the water. I can still feel in on my tongue. Winston looks at me in disgust. "Trust me, my spit is the cleanest thing that's in this mixture."

Winston looks around us at the water that's probably a mix of sperm, spit, sweat and much more. "Erm..."

"What? Too dirty for you, city kid?" I tease him and he rolls his eyes. I start to swim away from him and then I bump into someone. Justin. 

I'm faster than Justin, of course. I managed to dunk his head underwater before he even gets the chance to take a good look at me. I hold him down for about two seconds and then I let him up again. 

"Fuck," Justin says and he gags. "I think I swallowed some of the fucking water."

I laugh at him along with Diego who's swimming towards us. I back away again, not wanting to be too close to Diego in case he tries to dunk me too.

Winston is close behind me and when Diego starts splashing us, he puts his hands on my shoulders and tries to cover himself with my body. Does he really think I'm going to protect him? I'll dunk him myself just for the fun of it.

But then I glance back at him and I don't have the heart to do it. 

His hands stay on my shoulder and I start splashing Diego back. I think we make a good team.

***

Charlie and Bryce join the party about an hour later. They don't arrive together but I still can't help but try to work out whether they've been fucking before they came here. But Bryce said he only does girls.

We're sat around the tree, most of us are. I'm squashed in between Justin and Diego while Charlie and Bryce are laying on the grass at our feet. Zach and Scotty are in the water with Winston, they're trying to work out who can hold their breath underwater for longer. This is the third round, Zach won both of the ones before that.

"Kinda disappointed, I was counting on Winston," Charlie says and Bryce raises a questioning eyebrow at him. "He's gay. I was hoping he'd be able to hold his breath for longer."

Fuck, maybe I shouldn't have told Charlie. I don't want everyone else knowing about this.

"No surprise there," Bryce says lazily as he stretches on the grass. "Can't imagine him fucking a girl."

Alex comes back from taking a piss and he sits down next to Justin trying to get under the shade. It's that time of day where the sun is practically scorching us.

"He's not ugly though," Diego adds and Charlie frowns and he quickly tries to cover it up by turning his head away. "He's got a nice ass, I wouldn't mind doing him."

I stare at Diego. He's not high or drunk and he's just saying this out loud to a group full of guys. No one minds it though, they just hum in agreement.

"The freckles on his face would make for a nice target," Justin joins in and he mimics jerking himself off and the image of his come landing on Winston's face is burned into my mind.

"You're all so fucking dumb," I say and I start to stand up. The guys laugh at me.

"Ooh, look at Mr Straight over here getting freaked out," Bryce makes fun of me and the guys laugh again. I'm not fucking freaked out, I just think it's weird. Not this as a whole, but _this_ \- talking about fucking Winston. It's weird.

"Leave him alone," Alex says and he rolls his eyes. The last thing I need is for Alex to stand up for me. But at least he's not laughing at me.

I just scoff and start walking away from the tree as the guys starting making mocking noises behind me. Excuse me if I don't feel like talking about fucking guys with them.

A few minutes later, I'm laying down on the pier, far away from the guys and their stupid comments. 

I wish I had weed, I'd at least have something to do then. But I just lay there looking up at the sky. My eyes are closed though, I'm not stupid enough to be staring up at the sun. 

I hear soft footsteps coming towards me, walking down the pier. Scott or Charlie? Neither. It's Winston.

"There you are," I hear Winston say but I don't open my eyes. He stops walking and then I feel him sitting next to me. "I've been looking for you."

"Mhm," I say quietly and I open one eye to look at Winston. He's sitting next to me, his knees bent, one arm resting on his knee and the other one touching the wooden pier. His hair is slightly damp so it looks like he came out of the water a while ago.

"Are you high?" Winston asks me and he sounds hopeful. 

"I wish," I say and I close my eyes again. If I was high, I could do the dumbest things and blame it on the weed. I wouldn't even think twice about doing it. And maybe I wouldn't be so pissed off at the guys right now.

Winston scoffs softly beside me and then he sighs. "Why are you here and not with everyone else?"

"They were pissing me off," I tell him. He doesn't need to know the details, wouldn't want to creep him out. 

"Because Justin said he'd like to come on my face?" Winston asks and I can just hear the amusement in his voice. I open my eyes and I turn my head to look at him. They told him? And he's not bothered?

"No," I say feeling a bit defensive. "Its was just... In general. They were just pissing me off." But the visual of him having come all over his face is back and I don't like the way it's making me feel.

"Okay," Winston says and he doesn't push it further but then he bites his bottom lip. "Am _I_ pissing you off? Do you want me to leave?"

He's not. And I don't mind him being here but what happens if he stays? I'll have to make conversation with him and I'm not very good at that.

I shake my head. "It's fine. You can stay," I tell him and he smiles. I close my eyes again and turn my head towards the sun. "So what are they doing now?"

Look at that, me trying to make conversation. How rare.

"Talking about sex," Winston tells me. "Didn't really feel like joining in."

Sex with who? Guys or girls? Both probably knowing them. The conversation dies down and neither of us says anything for a minute.

Then I feel him moving towards me and seconds later cool fingertips touch the skin of my forearm.

"I like your tattoo," Winston says when my eyes snap open. He's not looking at me. He's just starring down at the tattoo and smiling. 

It's a simple square, four thin black lines joined together to form a square. He traces the lines with his finger, stopping when he reaches the edge of the square and then he keeps going. His fingertip touches my veins and I feel my heartbeat quicken.

"Thanks," I say and I sound a bit breathless. I clear my throat as he keeps going, moving his finger at a slow pace. 

"What does it mean?" he asks me and he looks up for the first time, his eyes burning into mine and I have to swallow hard.

Usually, this is the part where I make up some story with a deep meaning behind it. The tattoo doesn't mean anything. I was high and drunk when I got it done for my seventeenth birthday. Tony was drunk and high too which I think is the only reason he agreed to do it. At least he was sober enough to be able to do straight lines.

I shrug. "Nothing." I don't understand why I don't feel like telling him some story about it. It would make me more interesting but I can't think of an interesting enough story.

Winston nods and he takes his finger away from my skin. I immediately miss his touch. "Cool," he says and he grins. He doesn't think that it's shallow for the tattoo not to have a meaning.

"I have two more," I tell him and I start to sit up. There's one on my back- on my upper shoulder to be more specific. I point it out to Winston and he moves his thumb across the numbers making a date. I can see he's intrigued and wants to know what the date means.

_05.07.2010_

Seventh of May.

But Winston isn't asking, maybe he thinks it's too personal.

"I've had it done recently," I tell him encouraging him to ask as he takes his hand away again.

"Is it a date?" Winston asks but he already knows the answer to that. 

I nod. "Yeah, it's... It's the date that my... My brother..."

"Oh," Winston says and he looks away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine," I interrupt him. Ten years have passed. "I was eight. Motorcycle accident. I'm okay now."

He was my older brother. Josiah. He was sixteen, he shouldn't have been driving but he was. And he died on the spot. His friend came out alive. 

"No one ever talks about him," I tell Winston, my voice barely above a whisper. It's not that they're ashamed or anything, they just don't like bringing it up. My parents loved Josiah and I know I'll never be him but I try my best to fill his shoes. He was the one planning to stay here and take over dad's business. He had plans. I'm a mess compared to him.

"Do you _want_ to talk about him?" Winston asks softly and I shake my head. No one knew my brother like I did, they wouldn't understand me talking about him.

"Nah..." I say. Maybe some other time. Maybe never. 

Winston nods and then a smile returns to his face and the atmosphere turns light again. "So where's the other one? The tattoo."

I look away from him again and I look down at my shorts. "Its, erm... It's down there," I say and I gesture with my hand to my lower body. It's writing in some language that I don't know. Got it for my eighteenth birthday, the guys chose it for me after spending half an hour trying to choose something on Google Translate.

"Can I see?" Winston asks with no hesitation and I hate how confident he is sometimes. The tattoo is at the start of my V line, it's always covered up by my boxers or my shorts.

I hesitate and then I reach down and tug my shorts down an inch or something like that. My V line is exposed and you can see the writing clearly. I hope he's not planning on touching this one too.

He titles his head to get a proper view of what it says and then he breaks out in a grin.

"What?"

"Do you even know what it says?" Winston asks me and he raises his eyebrows. I shake my head and just as I suspected, he reaches over and traces his finger over the letters. Fuck, what is he doing?

"It's Latin," he tells me but his eyes stays focus on the writing. He traces each letter slowly, he's not pressing down and I can just feel his fingertip brushing past my skin. If he doesn't stop soon I'm gonna get hard. 

"'Bite me'," he says and I stare at him. He takes his hand off my skin and turns his head to look back at me. "That's what it says, 'Bite me'."

Oh. How creative. Diego and Scott best believe that I'll return the favour.

I pull my shorts back up to hide the tattoo and I start to stand up. "Come on," I say to Winston. "Let's go back before the guys start making some shit up."

And by that I mean I don't want them to tease me for spending time with the gay guy. 

Winston nods and as he starts to stand up, I start walking away.

***

We're hungry and tired so of course, when Bryce offered to buy us food we all agreed.

There aren't many takeaway places in town, you can't really order food to your house but there are diners. We have to eat outside because some of us (Zach) aren't meeting the dress code. He could have at least thought to bring a shirt. 

We sit outside by one of the tables, there are usually four chairs at each one but we dragged chairs from other tables over and now we're all crowded around this one table.

I've had about three slices of pizza and I'm already full, Zach and Diego keep eating like there's no tomorrow. I lean back in my chair and observe my friends. Alex looks a bit less grumpy now, he's sitting next to Zach and Zach jokingly feeds Alex with his pizza. No one makes a gay joke because we all know that Zach is with Chloe. Me especially.

It's getting dark now. Not _dark_ , but the sun will be setting soon. It's peaceful, the diner is closing soon and we're the only people around. 

I glance to my left where Winston and Justin are having a conversation. I think Justin is trying to make his fantasy about fucking Winston a reality. Looks like he's succeeding.

"You're coming, right?" Bryce asks me pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Hmm?" I say turning back towards him. Hopefully, no one's noticed me staring. 

"The road trip," Bryce explains. I almost forgot about that. "You're coming, right?"

I nod. I wouldn't miss it. Roadtrip weekend, the weekend where we find out who's sleeping with who. Scott and I always make bets. But this time it'll be harder with no girls around. It'll be harder to guess. 

"No one invite William," Zach then adds looking around the circle and we laugh. Yeah, no one wants to spend a whole weekend with William. Maybe except for Scott who looks a bit annoyed and he rolls his eyes.

Winston pulls his phone out of his backpack at the mention of William's name. I remembered to take my phone back once we got to the diner, it's in my pocket now.

"I should get going," Winston says and he starts to stand up. "Wouldn't want to upset the great William Williams."

We chuckle at his sarcastic comment and then he looks around the table after stretching. His eyes rest on me. "Walk me home?"

Scott was already starting to gather his shit up obviously thinking that he should be the one to walk Winston home. "Oh, I can-"

"No, it's fine," I interrupt Scott and I stand up from my chair. "I'm tired anyway. See you at work tomorrow?"

Scott nods and the guys say goodbye to us. Winston grins at me as he swings his backpack over his shoulder. At least he's not making me carry it for him this time.

***

"So how does it work? How do you know who's sleeping with who?" Winston asks me as I walk him home. We've taken the longer route so I can drop him off at Scott's without having to walk by my house.

Winston says he's never been on a road trip, especially not a weekend one. His friends sound really boring.

"Okay, listen," I say and I lick my lips. I could really do with a joint or a cig, anything to keep my hands busy so they're not just swinging by my sides. "So there's this cabin that we all sleep in. Like, in one room. All of us. But there's a bedroom too. And you know, that bedroom pretty much has only one purpose."

As soon as you hear the door of the bedroom lock, you wait until it unlocks again and you see who's stepping out. 

Winston nods like he understands. He gets used to things pretty quickly. "So how do I place a bet?"

Not everyone plays the game, the price for losing can be brutal. That's how Diego got his 'I love cock' tattoo on his upper thigh. Safe to say that he won't be playing this year. 

"When we get there, you write all your predictions down on a piece of paper. One of the guys guards them and you don't get to see them until our last day there," I explain and Winston listens patiently. "Then we tick off how many are correct and the one with the least ones right gets some sort of punishment. We usually decide on our way back home."

Winston chuckles lightly. "Sounds fun."

I hum in agreement. "Oh and whatever you do, _don't_ put a bet on Bryce and Justin, they try to trick us every fucking year. Just don't do it." I fell for it once but fortunately, I got three others correct and Scott lost instead. 

"Who are you betting on?" Winston asks me and he turns his head to the side to look at me.

I raise an eyebrow. "As if I'd tell you," I say and he laughs. But then I clear my throat and sigh. "Should I place a bet on you and Justin?"

Winston stares at me. I've been thinking about it for some time now. Justin seems interested and Winston doesn't seem freaked out by it. But now he just laughs.

"Justin and me? Please," he says and he shakes his head in disbelief. "Not my type."

Picky. Justin is attractive, I can't think of anyone who'd turn him down. 

I just scoff and roll my eyes but Winston is still looking at me as if waiting for me to say something. What am I supposed to say to that?

"So what _is_ your type?" I eventually manage to ask and he grins to himself. He looks me up and down and then looks away. Could he walk faster? I wish we weren't so far away from Scott's house.

He stuffs his hands in his pockets and shrugs. "Like... Tall. But not too tall, you know? Your height or something like that," he says and I have to bite my tongue to remind him that Justin is about my height. "And, erm..." He clicks his tongue and then looks back at me again. It's not that hard to just describe a guy, just get on with it.

"Dark hair, I guess," Winston continues. "Dark eyes. Tanned." He stops and then he sighs. "Junior Wrestling Champion 2012."

He laughs and I shake my head at him. "Fuck off," I say and I nudge him with my shoulder but I can't help and laugh. I forgot he saw the trophies on my shelf. Now he's just fucking around with me.

We keep walking in silence but it's a comfortable kind of silence. Then Winston stops to stretch. "My back hurts."

I roll my eyes. Definitely not carrying the backpack for him this time. "Maybe you should stop carrying all those cameras around," I tell him and he grins. "You don't even take pictures."

He raises an eyebrow as he starts walking again. "Oh, but I do."

Sure. I haven't seen him holding a camera... ever. I know that they're in his backpack but I've never seen them out. 

"I could show you some," he offers but it's already getting dark and we're still about half an hour away from Scott's house.

I shake my head. "Maybe later."

We resume walking, both of us tired and exhausted. I'm going to be a mess at work tomorrow. I really need to get some proper sleep.

"So... Are we hanging out tomorrow too?" Winston asks as we walk up the path to Scott's house. He knows about my job and that I can't hang in the mornings. Fuck, I'm gonna miss sleep again because of him, aren't I?

I shrug. "If you want."

I don't mind hanging out with him. It's alright. _He's_ alright. And it seems to piss William off so that's a bonus. 

"Pick me up?" Winston asks as I walk him around to the kitchen window. We both know that William already knows that he's sneaked out but I don't plan on knocking on the front door and waiting for William to open the door for us.

"Sure," I say and I open the window for him. "I'll come around at like... Three? Four, maybe."

"Alright," Winston says and he gives me a smile. "See you tomorrow then."

"See you," I say and I turn my back on him, not even waiting for him to get inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked this? id love to hear your opinions on this :)


	5. The Jealous Boyfriend

**Chapter Five**

Zach is helping out some of the new city kids at the orchard so I'm stuck with Alex instead. I don't think he's too happy to be stuck with me either, both of us keep on glancing over at Zach as if silently hoping he'll come over and relive one of us. At this point, I'd rather work with Justin and he's pissing me off too right now.

I pick the apples one by one and I throw them in the basket. Well, not _throw_ , I'm not stupid. Alex gives me this weird look as he watches me, he should focus on his own work.

"Did Winston get home okay last night?" he asks me and I frown. 

"Yeah... Why wouldn't he?"

I turn to Alex, he looks away and shrugs. "Just asking," he says and then once we've both gotten back to our work he sighs. "I like him, Winston. He seems nice."

I stop and I press my lips together. "...Okay?" I say and I put the apple into the basket. Why does he feel the need to talk to me? Can't he just shut his mouth and work?

Alex glances at me and then gets back to work. "Just saying. He's not that bad, right? I don't know about everyone else but I like him and-"

I groan loudly to stop Alex from saying any more. I don't need to know about his crush on Winston. "I don't think you're his type, to be honest," I tell Alex and my conversation with Winston from last night replays in my head. "Don't waste your time on him."

I can't tell if Winston was messing with me last night or not. Does he really... Like me? Or was he just trying to make a joke? I can't be sure.

Alex stares at me. "I meant like as a friend," he says and he sounds amused. "You need to chill out, you sound like a jealous boyfriend."

Alex laughs at me and I grimace. A jealous boyfriend?

"You'd know wouldn't you?" I say to him and he glances at me and scoffs like he has no idea what I'm talking about. 

The necklace, I didn't put it together until late last night when I was laying in bed replaying the whole day in my head. The necklace is Zach's. I saw him buying it when he was in town with Chloe and I can't come up with another reason why he'd let Alex have it other than them... Being together? Chloe would love to hear about this. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Alex asks me nervously. 

"Little bit of advice? Don't go flashing the gifts from your boyfriend around, someone might catch on eventually," I tell him and he turns sickly pale. So maybe I'm right, maybe they are together after all.

***

My hair is wet from showering after work but it managed to dry slightly from the long walk I took to Scott's house.

I think about just texting Winston and telling him that I'm outside but then I look through the living room window and I see William concentrating hard on his black and white design on the wall. I could never pass on an opportunity to piss him off.

I knock on the door, wait two seconds and then I start banging loudly with my fist. I hope I distracted him.

William opens the door and he's frowning at me, jaw clenched, shirt covered in black paint. He takes one look at me, sighs and rolls his eyes. "It's your fucking boyfriend!" he shouts towards the stairs.

Wow, a gay joke. So original.

William goes back to the living room without a second glance and I walk into the hallway because I really don't need to be invited in.

About a minute later, Winston runs down the stairs wearing a black T-shirt and some navy shorts. His hair is wet and I'm guessing he just came out of the shower.

"Hey," he says and he grins at me. He touches my arm as he walks past and then into the living room. "Come on, I have something to show you."

I follow him through the living room where William is on his knees on the plastic cover protecting the wooden floor from paint. He stops painting and shakes his head at us like we're the irritating ones.

Winston guides me through the kitchen and then to the little hallway where the door to the guest room is. Okay, so this is his room. He opens the door for us and he lets me come inside.

I'm used to seeing the room look neat and tidy, the bed neatly made and the floor empty but Winston made the room his. His clothes that look like they cost more than my entire house are folded neatly on the open closet shelf but there are some clothes just laying around on the bed. His cameras are everywhere too. How much photography shit doesn't he need to take a picture?

"Here," Winston says dragging me out of my thoughts and he literally drags me to his desk after grabbing my hand.

He's not ashamed to touch my hand, to hold my hand and I'm too shocked to pull away. Before I know it, he let's go of me and we stand in front of his desk.

He wasn't lying when he said he managed to take some pictures already. They're set out on his desk in a messy but organised way, there is no clear pattern but it looks good together. Some pictures are black and white, others are in colour.

My eyes rest on every single one and I take a second to take it all in. There are photos of all of us, one of Diego and Charlie laying on the grass and just smiling at each other, one of Zach and Alex just looking at each other while standing in the water from yesterday and that just confirms my theory that they're together in one way or another.

There are many more photos of the guys just smiling or relaxing. But the photos he took of me... I don't look happy in any of them.

There's one of me from the day I took him to the market, I'm standing beside Hannah and I'm frowning at something in the distance. Probably Zach and Chloe. There's also one from the day that we got high in the field, I'm resting my chin on my knees and I'm just staring at Diego and Charlie who are laughing about something. I'm not frowning but I'm not smiling either.

"This one's my favourite," Winston then tells me after a moment of silence and he reaches down to pick up a photo who's edge is sticking out from behind a photo of Bryce smoking a cig.

He holds it out to me and I take it from his hand. It was taken yesterday and in the photo, I'm laying under the tree. I don't remember this but that's because it looks like I'm asleep in the picture. I'm asleep but I'm smiling, laying on my side with my arms under my head.

"It's nice," I say and I know that it's nowhere near enough to describe what the photo is like but it's the only word that comes to mind. I think I've lost my ability to speak.

I give the photo back to Winston and he smiles at me as he puts it back onto the table. He managed to make me look somewhat good in that photo.

"It's a shame there are no photos of you though," I say as I start looking through the photos again. It just looks like someone documented my summer with my friends. But he's not in the photos and he should be.

Winston smiles at me. "If you want I can let you borrow a camera and you can-"

"There you guys are," Scott interrupts us by bursting in the room. Winston rolls his eyes but I turn to talk to Scott. 

"What's up?" I ask him and he stops by Winston's bed.

"William got invited to some party and he wants me to go with him. But I'll feel weird, I don't know them guys," Scott explains. "I was wondering if you'd wanna come?"

Me? Or Winston? Or both of us?

Scott is looking at us both but his eyes rest on me. Winston turns his head to the side like he wants me to decide. We're supposed to be hanging out today after all.

"Erm, does William wants us to come?" I ask and Scott raises an eyebrow.

"What do you think?"

"Sure, we'll go then," I say and I raise my eyebrows at Winston to which he grins in response. Anything to piss William off.

Scott nods. "Alright, but you're going out right now, right?" he makes sure and Winston nods. "Okay, be back here at around seven so we can set off."

***

"So bear in mind that I was like, erm... Five? Maybe six," Winston tells me. The walk is much less boring when he's telling me shit about his childhood. "And so when your parents go out and tell you to look after your five - maybe six - year old brother, you think: cartoons, drawing, some arts and crafts."

We walk down the path to town, hands in pockets as I listen to Winston rant. Some of his stories are pretty good. Scrap that, all of them are. Why are people obsessed with William when Winston exist?

"No, not William. Nine-year-old William had a better idea," Winston tells me. "That fucker, he dunked me in paint and he made me roll around on this giant canvas like some kind of experiment. Five-year-old me. Obviously I got bored, I was just a kid. So I ran around the house. Covered in paint. Ruined all the walls, most of the carpet, got paint all over the cream couches..."

"Ouch," I say and I raise an eyebrow. "Who got in trouble?"---

Winston looks at me from the side like I should know the answer by now. "Blaming the nine-year-old would seem like the logical thing to do, wouldn't it?" Winston sighs. "But what do you expect from parents who think naming their kid 'William Williams' is a good idea."

Once again, I don't feel like he likes his family very much. And I'd ask him if he's okay but I've learned that he prefers to just laugh about it. So I chuckle quietly and Winston joins in turning this whole story into a joke.

"So where are we going?" Winston asks as we take another path, not the path leading to the market square with all the stalls.

"Bookshop," I tell him and he grins to himself as he looks down at his feet.

"So we're going to see your shady friend again?" he asks playfully and he studies my face.

I frown. "He's not shady." Okay so selling drugs might not be the most honest job in the world but Jeff is a good guy, he's not shady. And he wouldn't like it if anyone other than the locals knew about his secret profession.

Winston rolls his eyes at me obviously not believing me. I've noticed that he's quite observant, probably something to do with how he carries that camera everywhere and takes pictures of anything he sees.

"Whatever you say," Winston says.

He's so different from what I thought he'd be like. Back when I first saw him at the bonfire, he was getting teased and pushed around by William and I felt like I needed to defend him. Now he just gets more and more confident by the second.

"So what about you?" Winston then asks. "Any childhood memories you'd like to share?"

Do I have anything worth sharing? Everyone's childhood in this town is pretty much the same, you run around in mud and climb up trees from the ages of birth till eighteen.

But I could at least try to think of something. He glances at me nervously and I suddenly understand that he's trying to get me to talk about my brother. I knew I shouldn't have told him about Josiah.

"Erm, this one time, can't remember how old I was, I was playing hairdressers with my sister. It's really fucking dumb but..." I say and I sigh just remembering how stupid I was as a child. Winston stares at me with an intrigued smile.

"No judgement from me," he tells me trying to encourage me to finish the story. Yeah, I've come to realize that he really doesn't judge me for anything I do.

"Okay," I sigh and I go back to telling my story. "I-I kinda wanted long hair? And for some reason, we thought that it would be a good idea to cut my sister's hair and then stick it to my head. So my hair was like... a mess of Elmer's glue, my hair and my sister's hair. We even tried to use clips to hold it together. Our parents weren't happy when they saw."

Winston stares at me and then he bursts out laughing.

"I thought we said no judgement?" I remind him but I'm grinning too.

"I'm sorry," he says and he laughs again. "You did _what_? I would pay to see that, seriously. You're making me look boring."

It feels good to be able to make him laugh like this. He looks good when he laughs.

"Boring? I think you're getting yourself confused with William," I tell him and he rolls his eyes at the comment. No one wants to be compared to William.

We walk a few steps getting closer to the bookshop but we still have some way to go.

"So... You've got a sister," Winston states. Right, I forgot how nosey he was. "What's her name?"

I hesitate. But would it really hurt for him to know?

"Estela," I say. "She's sixteen. Your bastard of a brother tried to hit on her once actually."

I haven't forgotten about it but I almost haven't really thought about it until now. I remember it clearly, the moment I started hating William completely.

"He did?" Winston asks and he sounds surprised like even he didn't expect this from his own brother.

I nod. "Broke his nose that day."

William was nineteen, Estela was barely fifteen. He said he didn't know but I have a feeling he did. And the thought of him just... He makes me so fucking sick.

"Wait, was this last summer?" Winston asks and he scoffs when I nod.

"Why?"

Winston pushes his hair away from his face. "The fucker came back home and he told us that he jumped into a fight trying to defend one of his friends," Winston tells me. "My parents wouldn't stop praising him for it for months. My dad tells the story to anyone who enters our house to this day."

I pull a face. How is it that Winston came out normal from a family like that?

I'm not surprised William lied about it, he wouldn't want people to know how much of a creep he is. He always turns everything in his favour.

"What was it like? Punching William?" Winston asks with an amused grin on his face. He's lived with the guy for seventeen years and he's never punched him? How much self-control does he have?

I shrug. "Felt kinda... Therapeutic. Been wanting to punch the fucker since I met him," I say and then I bring my hand up to rub the knuckles of my other hand as if trying to remember what it felt like. "Does have one strong jaw though, really hurt my hand."

Winston laughs and he stares at my knuckles. "Good to know," he says. He sighs and then he looks away. "You have nice hands."

Nice hands? Is that even a thing? Are there any _not_ nice hands in the world?

"Er, thanks," I say awkwardly and we keep walking in silence for a few more minutes until we reach the bookshop.

Jeff is leaning over the counter like he was the last time I saw him when we walk inside.

I meant what I said earlier, Jeff is cool. I'd call him a friend and if I could, I'd invite him to the road trip. But he doesn't really get on well with the other guys.

I mean, he does. But they're not friends. He just sells shit to them and they pay after making small talk. They don't exactly treat Jeff like a friend.

Winston seems to know the drill, he leaves my side and goes over to look at the section of photography books again. Still dustier than ever.

"Seventy-one?" I walk over to the counter and Jeff grins before shaking his head.

"Nowhere near. Forty-three," he tells me and he puts his the book to the side. "Didn't think I'd be seeing you today."

Yeah, he only just sold me weed a couple of days ago and normally he wouldn't be seeing me for another few weeks. But I want something stronger than weed.

"I was thinking... If I could maybe get something else? Maybe a tragedy. I'm sick of the love stories," I say like its a Shakespeare play that I'm thinking about getting. There are no cameras (that I know about) around but we still can't risk just going around and talking about drugs so openly.

Jeff nods slowly and he glances under the counter. "So Hamlet or Othello?"

Molly or acid? Fuck. I'd get LSD but I'm scared that it'll fuck me up too much. I just wanna have fun, I don't wanna die.

"Hamlet," I answer and Jeff hesitates before reaching under the counter.

I don't even wanna know what type of shit he has under there. He has shit that he'd never in a million years even think about selling to me.

Cocaine and heroine? That's not for me. He only sells that to the desperate fuck ups that he knows will die sooner or later. There's no saving them. And besides, Jeff has to sell this shit in order to not get in trouble with whoever's providing him with this shit.

He passes the book over the counter and he presses the keys on the register to tell me my price.

Really? Fuck, I didn't know it was this expensive. I don't even know how much I'm buying but it'll trust Jeff to give me a decent amount.

I slide the bank notes over the counter and Jeff grabs my hand, the notes in between our palms.

"Mix it with weed or fucking alcohol and I'll personally go out of my way to make sure no one comes to your funeral," he whispers. So yeah, Jeff might have a shady job but he does care about his customers. Or some of them.

***

Winston isn't that talkative on our way back. I was hoping for more William stories but he's gone completely silent.

"What's up with you?" I ask him and I lightly pushy him with my shoulder.

He sighs. "What the hell did he give you?"

"Huh?" He wasn't even trying to say that nothings wrong or that there's nothing up with him, I asked him and I got an answer straight away.

He rolls his eyes and sighs. "It wasn't weed he sold you," Winston says and he bites down on his bottom lip. "I saw the look on his face when he passed it to you."

The look on his face? 

I scoff. "What would you know." He's just a city kid, he doesn't know anything. Or maybe he does know. I bet he's seen worse shit in the city,

"Is it coke?" Winston asks me seriously and I squint at him. Coke? Really? I'm not trying to get myself addicted, jeez.

"No, it's not fucking coke," I reply and he lets out a shaky breath. "And even if it was, what's it to you? It's none of your business." He said no judgement but here he is, judging me for doing drugs.

Winston frowns and scoffs at me. "None of my business? It's fucking dangerous, you could-"

"Oh and you're an expert on coke," I say. I'm not gonna let some city kid come here and start lecturing me on some bullshit he learned in his high school health class. "Chill out, it's just a bit of fun."

He stops abruptly and glares at me. "A bit of _fun?_ My fucking friend died of a coke overdose you-fuck."

I stop in my tracks but Winston just shakes his head and he continues walking. I watch him walk away from me, hands in his pockets, head hung low and yet I can't move a muscle. His friend ODed? Fuck, I...

I kick into motion and I start running after him. "Hey! Winston! Hey, wait up!"

He doesn't stop and he doesn't look back so I have to run until I reach him. I put my hands on his shoulders and I stop him from walking away. He spins around to face me.

"What?" he asks and I was expecting him to be angry maybe but he just sounds annoyed. I open my mouth not really sure what to say and Winston scoffs. "If you're going to apologise... Don't."

"I-I didn't know," I say. If I had known, I would have reacted differently. Now I just feel bad for opening my mouth. 

I wait for Winston to say something. He's looking to the side and biting his lip. He sighs. "Why do you think my parents forced William to take me with him? They wanted me to have a fun summer and to take my mind off... you know."

So it was recent. I feel like saying sorry but he already told me that he doesn't want an apology. He just starts walking again and I join his side. He keeps his eyes on the ground.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I ask him and he clicks his tongue like he does when he's thinking.

He looks up and turns his head to me. "Do you wanna listen?"

Would I ask if I didn't? I nod and Winston looks away again. He rubs the back of his neck with his hand and lets out a soft sigh.

"He, erm... His name was Patrick. We weren't close but we were like... We hung out with the same people, you know?" he tells me as we keep walking down the path. His bites down on his lip and he pushes his hair out of his face. "He OD'ed at a party. He was alone when... We didn't find him until the next morning. _I_ didn't find him until the next morning."

I don't like the tone of his face. "You're not blaming yourself for it, are you?" I ask and he doesn't answer. So he does, he feels guilty for not being able to help his friend. "It's not your fault. He chose to take-"

"Don't give me that shit," Winston interrupts me and he rolls his eyes. "Yeah, okay, he took the drugs. But we knew he was taking coke. And we didn't really... We didn't really... Care."

Winston's voice turns into a whisper and he looks down at his feet again. "We just... We didn't really think he would... Fuck." he sighs and starts to mess his hair up with his hand. He runs his hand down his face and he lets out a groan. "So, yeah. I think it _is_ my fucking business if you start taking coke. I don't want you to die."

I know that he's only saying this because he lost his friend and he's scared of losing anyone else. But he sounds like he genuinely cares. And I have to bite my lip to stop myself from smiling.

***

William isn't happy to see us. Maybe we're late.

"We said seven. _Seven._ And do you know what time it is now? Half-past."

He stands in the front garden, arms crossed over his chest and even Scott rolls his eyes at William's complaining, I bet he's been like this for the past hour. Poor Scotty.

"Well done Will, you can tell the time," I tell him. "Unfortunately this isn't fifth grade and you will not be getting a sticker."

We're late because Winston wanted to stop by some restaurant and get us something to eat. We had to wait in line for some time and then we walked slowly while we ate. He told me more about his friend and I listened patiently. He made me promise to never do coke. I wasn't planning on it anyway so what's the harm in promising?

We also had to stop by my house so I could drop the Molly off at the barn. I'm not about to go to some party with Molly in my pockets. Especially not a party with Williams friends. It's in town so it'll be easier for the cops to come and shut it down. I don't wanna get searched and arrested.

"Just get in the car," William huffs. This is the first time he's allowed to go out and have a break from the painting. I'm happy to be able to ruin this day for him even if it's only a little bit.

William is driving and Scott sits with him in the front like the besties that they are. Winston and I take our places in the backseat.

I don't bother putting the seat belt on, what's the point? But Winston buckles himself up and then he shakes his head at me.

"You're gonna fly out the window if we crash," Winston jokes and William sighs loudly.

"We're not gonna fucking crash you stupid idiot," William says and then he looks back and gives Winston a smirk. "Monty just trusts my driving."

Yeah, as if. I grab my seat belt and pull it over me as tightly as I can. William just rolls his eyes and Winston puts his hand over his mouth to cover up his grin.

William puts the radio on after a minute of driving. I think he was hoping for Scotty to make conversation with him. He didn't. Did the lovebirds have a fight already?

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I take it out and glance at the screen.

**Winston:** **** _I think you've hurt his ego._

Winston is looking out the window pretending to be interested in the miles and miles of fields that we're passing by.

I look back at my phone and I type a reply.

**Monty:** _One look in the mirror and he'll be right back to his narcissistic old self._

I stare out of the window but I observe Winston from the corner of my eye. This feels personal, like we're having a conversation that no one else can know about.

He grins when he reads my message and then he looks to the side and briefly makes eye contact with me. He looks down at his phone and starts typing a message.

I wait a few seconds and then I read the message that he sent me.

 **Winston:** _I think you make him insecure. He's not used to seeing good looking people hanging ou with me._

Is he flirting with me? I feel a bit hot.

**Monty** _: Haha. Funny._

A joke. He's just joking.

***

The party isn't as lame as I thought it would be. But it's full of rich snobby city kids like William.

I feel bad for whoever those kids are staying with.

William leaves us almost immediately not even bothering to say a see you later or a meet you by the car in a few hours. I really think something happened between him and Scott.

Winston tries to stay with Scott and me for the first few minutes but Scott isn't being very talkative and I don't feel comfortable enough having a conversation with him while Scott is listening. Maybe later.

Winston looks around the room awkwardly and then he turns back to me. "I think I see one of... My friends. Let me go say hi."

I'm not sure if he's being serious or if he just wants to get away from the awkwardness but I let him walk away.

"What's up with you?" I ask Scott once Winston is gone. Scott is just sipping on his drink and he shrugs. "Don't give me that shit, tell me what's wrong."

Scott sighs and he licks his lips nervously. I don't think I've ever seen him like this, especially around William.

"We had an argument. Me and William," Scott tells me and he brings the cup up to his lips and chugs down the rest of whatever's inside. He wipes his lips with the back of his hand and I wait for some sort of explanation. I don't think this is the time to be making jokes about him and Will.

"He started saying shit about you while we were waiting for you guys," Scott tells me and he looks around the room. He looks everywhere but at me. 

"What 'shit'?" I ask him and he looks uncomfortable. "Scotty."

"Fine, but I'm just repeating what he said," Scott tells me and he finally looks me in the eye. "He started saying how... How you pretend to be this straight guy but then you go around and fuck in corners with Winston. He said that that's the only reason you guys are hanging out."

My body stiffens and I clench my fist. That fucker William. What is it to him who I fuck and who I don't? Why does he fucking care? I don't even-I'm not even gay and he's here saying shit like that.

"We got into an argument 'cos I stood up for you," Scott tells me and he looks slightly embarrassed. "I, erm, I know you're not gay so I-I defended you."

I give Scott a small nod and I start looking around the room. So maybe Scott's not so bad after all. He's not behaving like William's bitch anymore. But I'm still pissed off at Will.

I stay with Scott for a while longer until he seems to forget about our conversation with William and then I make some excuse about needing the bathroom and I leave him.

Those rich kids are everywhere and they all look the same but I just need to find long dark hair that belongs to William. I feel like it's about time that he and I have a conversation.

I have to push past drunk city kids, they're such lightweights, but William is nowhere to be found. William is probably the only sober guy here. Him and his morals.

It's William that I set out looking for but it's Winston that I find. I haven't thought about it but maybe he's said something to William to make him think that... No. He wouldn't.

I stare at Winston. He's standing with some guy. I recognise him as one of William's friends. Luke Holiday or something like that, a bulky blonde guy who acts like the biggest idiot I've ever met.

He's just talking to Winston and they're both laughing in the corner of the room. I watch them like a creep for some reason. I should be out looking for William.

But then Luke puts his hand on Winston's hip and he pulls him in for a kiss. Their lips press together messily and Winston tangles his fingers in Luke's hair while his hands move down to cup Winston's ass.

What the fuck? Dark hair and dark eyes? Yeah, sure. Luke's definitely his type.

Something comes over me and I find myself rushing forward and dragging Winston away from Luke. I grab onto Winston's arm and I pull him away roughly. He looks shocked at the sudden action.

"Monty, what the-"

"He's a fucking minor you freak!" I shout at Luke and some people around us stop their conversations and stare at us. My hand is still gripping onto Winston's arm tightly and I dig my nails into it.

Luke looks shocked and angry. How old is he? Twenty? Twenty-one? And he's out here kissing a seventeen-year-old. Disgusting fucker.

"Chill, dude," Luke tries to say playing it off and he straightens up his shirt. I let go of Winston's arm finally realising that he's staring at me with wide eyes.

"He's fucking seventeen, alright?" I say but I don't sound as confident now. I start to sweat knowing that I'm causing a scene. Luke looks at Winston and then me. He nods.

Okay. So I just turn away from him and start pushing through the crowd of people watching us. I just want to get out of there before I embarrass myself further. Scott gives me a weird look as I walk past but he's too drunk to stop me.

I walk out of there and I don't look back.

***

But someone runs after me.

I'm outside and I start walking away from the house and the cars parked outside when I hear a voice call after me.

"Monty! Monty! Wait!"

I was expecting Winston to run after me. I was _hoping_ he'd run after me. I stop and I turn around.

"What the hell was that?" he asks me and he gestures back towards the big house. "'He's a minor', really? You know that I'm almost eighteen."

"Yeah, almost," I remind him. He _is_ a minor, I was just trying to help him out. But Winston doesn't see it that way. He scoffs.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" he asks me and I don't respond. I don't know why I did it, I just did. I scratch the back of my head awkwardly and Winston licks his lips. "Are you jealous?"

I look up and stare at him. "Jealous?" What the fuck? Why would I be jealous? Jealous of what?

"Yeah, jealous," Winston repeats and he crosses his arms over his chest. "I think you're jealous."

"I think you need to get a grip. Not everyone here is in love with you," I tell him which is a bit unfair but I don't care, he needs a reality check. But he just laughs and starts grinning. "What's so funny?"

He takes a deep breath and he bites his bottom lip while staring at me. "You're so fucking jealous," he tells me and I feel my body temperature going up. I want to argue back but Winston doesn't give me the chance. "You saw me with my tongue down some other guy's throat and you got jealous," he states like it's a fact.

"No, I-"

"Come on Monty, no need to lie to me," he says and he takes a few steps towards me. I stagger backwards, my legs suddenly feeling like jelly. "No judgement, right?"

He stands in front of me, faces just inches apart and he looks down at my lips. I take a step back and he smiles at the action.

"I'm not fucking jealous," I say sternly and I'm surprised at how collected I manage to sound. 

He sighs and he's still smiling. He starts to take a few steps back. "Okay. That's fine. If you say so..." he says and I relax a little. "So I'm gonna go back now. Hopefully, Luke it's _too_ mad and he's still down to fuck. But thanks, if he's mad it means he might go a bit rough on me."

I don't know what to say. I just stand there, speechless staring at him. My hands are sweaty and my heart is pounding, pumping red hot blood all around my body.

"Have fun," I tell him and he nods before walking away. Is he really going to have sex with Luke tonight? Or is he just messing with me? 

I don't care. I'm not jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is a really long chapter and i hope you liked it :)


	6. Wrapped Around His Little Finger

**Chapter Six**

I walked home. 

I know it's stupid and I could just get over myself and get in the car, but I didn't feel like sitting in the backseat with Winston. 

And now my legs ache and I can't sleep. I got in late, it was about one in the morning or maybe even later when I finally got home. I scratched my leg while climbing over the gate and it started bleeding badly so I had to shower. 

Now I'm just laying on top of my duvet in just my underwear. It's too fucking warm to sleep but I try anyway. I close my eyes and after a few minutes I doze off.

I don't know how long I've been asleep for but I wake up when I hear the barn door slide open. Fuck, is it my dad? Is it morning already?

I open one eye to see what the hell is going on and I see someone walking inside. His back is turned to me and when he turns around and sees me staring at him he jumps.

"What the-"

"Fuck!"

I sit up straight as Winston pushes his hair away from his face trying to calm himself down. "Fuck, you scared me," he says and I stare at him. Is he being serious?

" _I_ scared _you?"_ I ask him as he starts walking towards my bed. "You're the one who's fucking sneaking into my room at-" I check my phone. "Two in the fucking morning."

I stare at him waiting for an explanation but he just laughs and sits on the edge of my bed. He's obviously drunk and he lays down next to me. Has he forgotten about our last conversation?

He sighs and he puts his hands over his face. "Oh, I know," he tells me and then he grins at me.

I'm still just laying there in my boxers confused as hell as to what he's doing here. "Did Luke kick you out after fucking?"

He laughs and stares down at the ceiling. "He wouldn't even look at me when I went back inside," Winston tells me. "So thanks. For ruining my only chance at getting laid this summer."

I roll my eyes at how dramatic he's being. "There's lots of guys around, you'll find someone to fuck," I tell him and I close my eyes. I try to fall back asleep not caring whether or not he's laying next to me. I've got work in a few hours and I need to at least try to get some sleep. 

"I actually prefer to _be_ fucked," Winston tells me and I'm not sure what he's trying to achieve by telling me about all his kinks and shit. I ignore him and I push my face further into the pillow. 

I hear him breathing and moving next to me on the bed. I move my leg away from him because I know that he likes to get touchy sometimes. 

"Can I sleep over?" he asks and I don't hesitate to answer.

"No."

"Come on, don't be like that Monty. We're friends, right?" Even after tonight? We're friends? Are we really? Or is he just using it as a way to wrap me around his finger again?

"Aren't you staying with Scott?" I ask him. He's got his room and his shit over at Scott's, what is he doing here?

"William and I had a fight," Winston sighs and he waits for me to respond. William's been having fights with everyone recently. But that still doesn't explain why he's here, Scott wouldn't kick him out.

"Hmm? What about?" I mumble into the pillow. I don't actually care, I just want him to get out so I can sleep.

"He called me a whore for trying to, erm, sleep with Luke. You kind made a scene and he got really embarrassed." Winston tells me.

"Oh," I say and I bite on my lip. He can't actually see my face in the dark. "Sorry." If I hadn't caused a scene, he wouldn't have fought with William

"Mhm," He says and then seconds later I feel a pillow being pulled out from under my head. I think he's cuddling it. Winston sighs softly. "William pushed me and I fell onto a table. I think I've got a bruise on my back. Wanna see?"

I roll my eyes at how weird he's being. Weirder than normal even, I blame the alcohol. "I'm fine, thanks."

"So I left William behind," Winston continues his story but all I wanna do is close my eyes and sleep. "I got a taxi but the guy said doesn't know where you live and I don't know the address so he just took me to town and I walked from there. Are you proud of me?"

"Very," I tell him just so he shuts up. "Now can you just let me sleep?"

He giggles - no joke, he actually giggles like a girl. It's kind of cute. "So I can sleep here?"

Do I really have a choice? It's not like I can kick him out and I honestly have no more energy left to argue with him. "Sure," I reply and then I try to focus on sleeping which is very hard when you have Winston breathing down your neck. Literally.

I think he manages to stay still and quiet for about thirty seconds.

"Monty."

I roll my eyes and scoff. I knew he wouldn't let me sleep. "Hmm?"

"I wanna go to the beach," Winston says quietly.

I sigh and I pull my pillow closer. "Okay. We'll go when I come back from work." Anything to get him to shut up and let me sleep. I'll miss another day of sleep to hang out with him. It's becoming a pattern and the bags under my eyes are proof of it.

Winston sighs. "No... I mean now. I wanna go to the beach _now."_

Is he mad? It's two in the fucking morning and he came to my room to ask me to go to the beach?

I turn on my side and I stare at him. He's cuddling my pillow and grinning at me.

 _"Now?_ " I ask. "Are you joking?

He shakes his head. "Not joking. I wanna go to the beach."

"You're so...." I groan and I hit my head against the pillow. He's waiting, he knows I'm gonna say yes because I've never refused him before. Maybe it's time I started.

"I want to swim." he continues trying to get me to say yes. I don't ever wanna be left alone with drunk Winston ever again.

"Later." I tell him sternly and I turn back around to prove my point: I'm going back to sleep.

"Please? Please, Monty," he pleads and then he sighs when I don't budge. My heart starts hammering when Winston moves closer to me and I can practically feel his body heat radiating. "I'll do anything you want."

He's such a fucking manipulative little shit. He thinks he can just bat his eyelashes at me and he'll get whatever he wants? No way.

***

"Why can't we just open the gate?" Winston asks me as we stand in front of the metal gate. You can only close it and open it from the inside so if I open it now, it'll have to stay open until someone realises and comes to close it. And then my dad will tell me off for leaving the gate open. I don't plan on getting grounded again.

"Because. Alright? Just jump over the gate, it's not hard," I tell him as I watch him stand in front of the gate and look it up and down. Then it comes to me. "Wait, didn't you have to climb over it to get to me?"

He turns his head and he grins. "Yeah but like... I was more determined then. You know? I was drunk, angry and I wanted to see you. Now I'm just tired."

I ignore him because I don't care about his jokes anymore. "Stop whining and get up the gate," I tell him and I grab a hold of the metal bars. I'm about to pull myself up but then Winston sighs.

"Help me up," he says and it's not a suggestion. My hands slide down the metal bars until they're not touching the metal anymore. I turn around and stare at him.

"What?"

"Help me up." he repeats a bit more confidently and he gestures to the metal gate. "Like lift me a little bit so I can climb better. You can do that right? You've got the muscle."

I stay where I am. "So you can climb better?" I call bullshit. He was able to climb it before and he should be able to do it again now. What is he playing at?

 _"Yes,"_ he says and he rolls his eyes.

Usually, 'helping someone up' would mean to just get on one knee and then just help him up but I get in front of Winston and he shakes his head.

"No, go behind me," he tells me and I frown.

"You want me to actually pick you _up_?" I ask him and he nods. 

I feel like I have no choice. I walk behind him and he stays still. So I just lift him a little bit and then...? I put my hands on his hips and I pick him up while his own hands stay holding onto the metal bars. It does actually help him, he manages to heave himself up and then he's sat on top of the gate. 

He sits between the two spikes, managing to avoid them hurting him and I roll my eyes remembering how I scratched my leg on them earlier.

"Get down," I tell him after he just stays there swinging his legs.

He looks down at the ground below his feet. "Fuck. Okay." He takes a deep breath in and then he jumps. He tries to land on his feet but of course, it hurts and he lands on his knees instead.

"You okay?" I ask him after he stays on the floor for a moment. I think he scraped his knees but he quickly stands up and nods.

"All good," he laughs and then he grins at me. "Your turn."

I climb the gate and get on top within seconds and Winston stands on the other side as he looks up at me.

"I'll catch you," he says and he holds his arms out.

I glare at him from the top of the gate. "Fuck off, I'll squash you," I tell him and he pouts but moves away all the same.

I jump down to my feet, stay crouched for a second or two and then I stand up.

"Smooth," Winston says with a grin on his face. Yeah nothing compared to his jump and fall.

"I've got practice," I tell him. "The amount of times I've had to sneak in and out... Let's just say that my dad doesn't bother grounding me anymore."

"He sounds nice, your dad," Winston says as I start walking away from the gate. He follows me.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Tony told me a little about him," Winston tells me and he puts his hands in his pockets as we start walking down the path. With the way we're walking... it'll take us maybe half an hour to get to the beach. I'm not talking about the big one, I'm not dragging his ass all that way. No, I'm taking him to the other beach.

"Hmm," I say absentmindedly at how nosey Winston is. He's always trying to get me to tell him more about myself. 

"So what's he like?" Winston asks me and he moves to walk closer to me, our shoulders occasionally rub past each other.

"Okay, I guess," I say vaguely. He's not a bad dad. He used to drink a lot, sometimes even hit Josiah and mom. Fuck, he argued with Josiah all the time about curfews and alcohol and shit but he loved him. And then Josiah died. Dad stopped drinking, started focusing more on bettering himself.

"You sure do love leaving out the details," Winston says and he chuckles softly. Then he looks up and stares at me for a couple of seconds trying to work out if I'm going to elaborate. I'm not. "My dad... erm. He loves William -obviously- but..."

He goes quiet and I turn to look at him. He's looking at his shoes, hair falling over his eyes. He might be drunk but he's being serious for once.

"He was pretty abusive. Especially to Josiah," I tell Winston when the silence between us grows unbearable. He looks up at me and starts listening. "I don't think he _meant_ to be abusive. He just wanted what was best for Josiah, he didn't like him getting mixed up with the wrong crowd."

" _'Was_ abusive'?" Winston asks me and I nod. I can't believe I've told him but he's not judging me or anything. 

"Was," I confirm. "He's alright now like I said. A bit strict at times but... He's alright." He's doing his best, he just wants what's best for me and Estela. 

Winston doesn't say anything about his own dad and I have every right to question him like he's done to me before but I won't. He'll tell me when he wants to.

We walk on, I'm slightly more awake now but I'm still tired. I don't know I'm gonna manage not to pass out at the orchard. 

Winston's phone rings, he takes it out of his pocket, looks at the screen and then puts it away again. 

"William?" I ask and he scoffs.

"Yeah..." he tells me and he turns to me. "He's asking me where I am. They're leaving the party now and he said that if I'm not by the car in five minutes then he's leaving without me."

I wonder if William will be worried if Winston doesn't show up, he doesn't seem like the type to worry about other people. He only worries about his art.

"Aren't you gonna reply?" I ask him because as much as I hate William, I want him to know that Winston is safe here. With me.

Winston shakes his head. "Nah. How much longer do we have to walk? My legs are kind of killing."

I forgot that he walked to my house all the way from the town centre. I'm actually kinda impressed that he found the way. 

"Just... Twenty minutes or so?" I tell him rounding down because I know that he'll complain when he finds out that it's almost half an hour. He should really walk faster.

He groans and slows down. Not what I wanted. 

"Maybe you should carry me," he says and he holds his arms in the air like a child waiting to be picked up. That's not happening.

"Maybe you should hurry up before I leave you here and go back home to sleep," I tell him and he slowly lowers his arms. We resume walking but he's not giving up yet.

"How about a piggyback ride? You won't even notice I'm there, I barely weigh anything," he tells me and I roll my eyes. Pretty sure I will notice him sitting on my back with his arms around my neck.

I shake my head. "Not happening." Not only am I missing sleep to take him to the beach at two in the fucking morning, but he also wants me to carry him? He can dream.

"I'll owe you one," he tells me and he moves closer to me. We're walking, shoulders touching and his staring at me.

"You owe me more than one at this point," I tell him. He always uses it to get whatever he wants and at this point, he owes me about ten. I still don't know what I'll get out of it. "I don't _need_ you to owe me one." 

Winston starts laughing and he hangs his head again, hair falling over his eyes. "Come on... I'll owe you two?"

He moves closer to me and his hip brushes past mine. Does he not understand the idea of personal space?

"Yeah? And what would I get out of it?" So far, I've done everything for him but I can't think of anything I'd want from him. He starts grinning and I already regret asking.

"Anything you want," he tells me and he raises his eyebrows playfully. "But if you're looking for a suggestion... I can give really good blow jobs."

Yeah, I might be interested if I was gay. Or maybe horny. But I'm not either. I just shake my head and scoff. "Luke must be happy then."

Winston stops. He stares at me and then he bursts out laughing. "You're _still_ on about that? Come on Monty, I thought we were over your jealousy phase."

I glare at him and I start to walk faster. How many times do I have to tell him that I'm not jealous? I just didn't want Luke to take advantage of him, I was being a good friend.

"Aww, come on. It was a joke!" Winston shouts after me and I'm surprised that he has the energy to run after me. "I'm sorry?" He puts his hands on my shoulders from behind and then he rests his chin on my shoulder. I'm practically dragging him along with me now.

"Get off," I tell him but he clings on tighter and he wraps his arms around my chest. How can someone be _this_ clingy?

"I'm sorry for calling you jealous," he mutters into my shoulder and he turns his head so that his nose almost makes contact with my cheek. 

"I'm not jealous," I tell him and I continue walking with him still attached to me.

"Of course," Winston agrees with me and then he sighs. "So... How about that piggyback ride?"

He's not gonna give up, is he? I sigh. "Fine. But if you tell anyone about this-"

"I won't," he says with a wide grin on his face. So I slightly bend my knees, he jumps on my back, grabs onto my shirt and I hold him by holding his legs with my hands. He's really not that heavy.

He starts sliding down and I move him up a little. He bounces on my back and he starts laughing. "I _do_ owe you."

"You sure do," I say as I carry him with me. 

***

By the time we get to the beach, my back is hurting like mad. I didn't carry him the whole way here, he walked for maybe about five minutes before he started climbing on my back again.

I put him down once we reach the sand and he collapses on the ground. "I'm tired."

I raise an eyebrow. _He's_ tired? I could be sleeping right now but instead, here we are...

He lays down on the sand, arms crossed behind his head and he grins at me. "Lay down with me," he says and he nods to the empty space next to him.

I'll fall asleep if I lay down but I can't be bothered standing any more. I sigh and I sit down on the sand next to him. He watches me as I grab a fistful of sand and I let it run through my fingers. 

This beach is different than the one he's seen on his first night here, it's smaller, the sand is softer, the water is colder but not many people come here because there's more sea than sand and then there's the rocky part of the beach too.

"I love it here," Winston sighs and I move to lay down next to him.

"Give it a week and you'll be sick of everything," I tell him. Seeing the same people, the same five shops, the same everything for your whole life isn't fun. I wonder how much longer he's going to be able to stand this before he wants to go back home.

"I'm serious," Winston says. "I really like it here. It's so different to the city."

"What's the city like?" I think William said they live in California or some shit. Our town is nothing compared to California, he can't be serious.

He shrugs and he keeps staring up at the sky. It's maybe three in the morning now but the sky is still dark.

"Busy. Loud." Winston says and then he sighs. "Boring. I mean, we don't even have fucking stars there. All the lights and everything, they make it impossible to see the stars."

California is boring? Are we talking about the same California? But I don't feel like questing him, I'm too tired to. "Yeah, I guess the stars are pretty."

He smiles and we stay there staring up at the stars. Soon the sun will be up and they'll be gone again.

"I never realized how unique the stars are. They're like people," Winston tells me and I'm sure it's because he's had too much to drink.

"Like people?" I tease him and I cross my arms behind my head so I have something to rest on.

" _Yes!_ Like people," Winston repeats and then he licks his lips. "Okay, just... That one?" He points up to a big star and I follow his finger with my eyes. "That's Zach," he tells me and I chuckle lightly.

"Because it's the biggest one?" I ask and he nods. "Okay... In that case, the one next to it is Alex." I just know that there's something going on between Alex and Zach, they try their best to act subtle but I can see it all.

Winston grins. "You see it too? Alex and Zach?" I nod slowly still keeping my eyes on the stars. "So are they like... dating?" Winston asks me and I raise an eyebrow. Dating? Maybe in private but not really.

"Nah, Zach's dating my-Chloe," I say and I shift uncomfortably. I've kinda thought about telling Chloe about Zach and Alex just to see if that would change anything. But I don't wanna do that to Zach. I'm not gonna tell people that he's fucking Alex in private.

Winston decides to ignore my slip-up. He knows that I have a 'complicated' relationship with someone but we haven't really discussed it.

"I think that one's you," Winston tells me and he briefly points up at the sky. I didn't even see where he pointed to.

"Which one?"

"That one" Winston repeats and he points again.

I squint. "Huh? Which one?" 

Winston laughs. _"That_ one. Are you blind or something?"

I glare at him but then my frown turns into a grin. "There's like fifty billion stars up there, you can't just say 'that one' and expect me to know what you're on about."

Winston rolls his eyes and sighs. "Move your head, it'll be easier to see."

So I move my head closer to his, our heads almost touching but still not in the same position. 

"That one, see?" Winston says softly and he points up at the sky. He turns his head to look at my face. I'm still searching the sky looking more confused than ever.

Which star? Does he mean the big one or maybe one of the little ones? They're all starting to look the same to me. 

"I still don't-" I try to say but then he props himself up on his elbow, he lifts my chin with one finger and then he leans down and...

His lips make contact with mine. They're soft and they taste like alcohol, something sweet and sugary. He tries to kiss me but I turn my head away.

"Fuck, you're so drunk," I laugh shakily and he lays back down again. I press my lips together and hopefully he doesn't see. I can still feel his lips on mine and I can taste the sweet alcohol.

"No I'm- Well, yeah I am but I know what I'm doing," Winston says quietly and he touches my arm. His fingers feel cold on my burning skin and I swallow hard.

"I don't think you do," I say and I rub my hands up and down my face. Sure, I'm used to seeing my friends fuck around with each other. But it's just fucking around, I doubt they kiss each other like Winston just kissed me now. I don't wanna give him the wrong idea and encourage him.

"You didn't like it?" Winston asks and I groan.

"That's not what I-"

"So you _did_ like it?"

"I... Fuck. I don't know, okay?" I tell him and I sit up, he copies me and he's sat next to me within seconds. "You just... You can't kiss people like that. You shouldn't."

Why does this bother me so much? No idea. But I don't want him kissing me, he needs to understand that I don't want him kissing me. But I don't want him kissing anyone else either.

"Okay," Winston says softly and he puts his hand on my shoulder. "I won't kiss you anymore. I'm sorry."

He really does sound sorry and maybe even a bit embarrassed. It's not embarrassing it's just... It might make things awkward between us. I like having him as a friend, I don't want to make things awkward.

"So which star is it?" I ask him and I turn my head to look at him. He looks away and shrugs.

"Doesn't matter anymore," he says and then his hand slides away from my shoulder. "I think I'm gonna go for a swim."

"Okay," I say and he stands up and walks over to the water. I just watch as he rolls up his trousers and he steps into the water letting it flow over his feet.

I really, really hope we can still be friends after this. I'd hate not having him around.

***

We walked home almost in silence. He still didn't want to go back to Scott's so I let him stay at mine because we're friends and friends do nice things for each other. Like... sleep in the same bed.

My alarm for work wakes me up and when I turn around, I see that Winston is still sleeping in my bed. We fell asleep on top of the covers almost straight after getting in, we were both exhausted.

I think I slept for about three, maybe four, hours and I'm still tired. Winston is tried too but he can't stay sleeping here. He's not touching me but he's sleeping on my side of the bed. I think he's still a little embarrassed after last night.

"Hey, Winston," I say and I lightly push his shoulder. He doesn't react. "Winston." I push him harder and he stirs slightly.

"Mmm?" he says and he cuddles into my pillow. And I mean _my_ pillow, the one I'm resting my elbow on right now.

"Come on, we have to get up," I tell him and I think he's falling asleep again. I give his shoulder another push. He groans.

"Stop pushing me," he says and frowns. He looks kind of cute like this with his eyebrows furrowed and his nose scrunched up. I don't realise that I'm smiling. 

"I have to get to work," I tell him. I'm expected to show up at the orchard in about an hour, It's already seven in the morning.

"Then go," he mumbles into my pillow. "I'll wait for you." See, that's exactly what I _don't_ want. I don't want anyone to come in here and find him sleeping in my bed. My parents and Estela are used to seeing Scott or Diego or whoever sleeping over but Winston might raise some questions.

"No," I say softly and I touch his arm. "We're getting up and I'm taking you to Scott's on my way to work." He opens his eyes then and he gives me this pouty look which he often uses in order to get what he wants.

"Okay," he agrees and he sighs and then slides out of my bed. He's only wearing his boxers and a shirt I let him borrow last night because he said he was cold. He looks down at it now and then back at me. "Can I keep this?"

His own shirt was wet from the sea last night because he thought that he stepped on a jellyfish in the water, he started screaming and splashing around and he soaked his shirt. It took me about five minutes to calm him down but he still wouldn't go back in the water.

But I'm pretty sure that his shirt is dry now, laying somewhere on the floor. He could easily wear that instead. I shrug not really bothered if he takes my shirt or not.

He doesn't say anything put he starts putting his trousers on so I'm guessing that he's keeping the shirt. 

I'm still in bed just wearing my boxers and I should start getting changed. I get out of bed and I walk over to my closet to look for something to wear.

"Can I use the bathroom?" Winston asks me.

"It's on the right side of the stairs," I tell him without turning around.

"You have stairs here?" he asks me and I turn around and grin. Yeah, I really wouldn't leave this house behind for anything. "That door over there leads to the hallway," I say and I point to the door next to my small kitchen, the kitchen and the bedroom are kind of in the same room, they're just separated by a half wall.

Winston leaves me to it and I just hope that he stops being nosy and he goes straight to the bathroom without any detours.

***

Winston is slightly more talkative than last night on our way to Scott's house. He's back to his old self while telling me about the dream he had.

"You drowned?" I ask to confirm. Jesus, what sort of dream does this kid have?

" _No,_ " Winston says and he sighs. " _You_ drowned trying to save me. Did you even listen to anything I said?"

"Of course I did!" I protest and he rolls his eyes. "Okay, we went to the beach, right? You went in the water and when you saw the jellyfish you freaked out and you started to drown..."

"And you jumped in and saved me," he finishes the story as we reach the path to Scott's house. I'm kind of sad that I'm leaving him here, I'm getting too attached.

"So how did I drown exactly?" I ask and Winston laughs.

"I don't know, you just kind of collapsed on the sand and you wouldn't wake up," Winston tells me and I raise my eyebrows. "I think you swallowed too much water. I tried waking you up but you just... Woke me up. Basically it's your fault that dream you is dead now."

I give him a push on the shoulder and he laughs again. We're okay now, we're friends. 

"Listen, Winston..." I say and he stops laughing abruptly. He looks worried straight away but I'm not gonna mention what he thinks I am. "I'm just gonna sleep today, I think. You know? Catch up on some sleep. So... I won't be hanging out with you."

It's fine. I've been hanging out with him every day, we deserve a break from each other. 

Winston nods. "If you've had enough of me then just say so," he says and then he sees my face. "God, Monty. It's a joke, I'm joking."

He laughs at me and I roll my eyes, I just didn't want him to think I didn't want him around anymore.

"I'll find something to do," Winston tells me as we reach the gate of the house. The curtains twitch and then a few seconds later, the door opens to reveal an angry William. Winston clicks his tongue and looks at me. "I think I'm in trouble."

"Good luck," I tell him and I start walking away not wanting to get in between them during an argument. Winston stares after me longingly like he's begging me to stay but then William walks out to meet him and starts lecturing him on staying back late.

I walk down the path alone, I was hoping to ask for Scott but it's too late, he already left for work. I blame Winston's slow walking. 

So I walk to work alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me what you thought of this because I really enjoyed writing it ;)


	7. Lowering the Defense

**Chapter Seven**

I slept for most of Wednesday. At some point, Tony came to get me to help him fix a motorcycle but that was it and then I went back to bed.

Even though I spent almost the whole day sleeping, I was still tired on Thursday and I couldn't be more glad that that was our last day working for a while. Now we have the whole weekend to ourselves, tomorrow morning we're setting off for the road trip.

Scotty's having some BBQ party at his house and of course, we're not going to miss out on it. We walk to his house straight after work, Justin, Scott and I. 

"Have you seen that thing that Charlie did?" Justin asks us. He's not wearing a shirt. I'd say it was to show off but we're all sweaty from working at the orchard. I've already called dibs on the shower.

"What thing?" I ask. Justin throws his arm over my shoulder and he pulls his phone out of his pocket. 

Scott walks on my other side but he glances over as Justin scrolls through his phone until he finds something. "He made like this thing... He sent it to the group chat, didn't you get it?"

"I'm not in the group chat," I tell Justin and I take his phone out of his hand to look at the picture.

"Oh yeah, didn't you leave when I added William?" Scott asks and I nod. Don't know why he added William to the group chat but he did and I didn't want to be anywhere near that fucker even if it was only through texts. "Well he left a while ago, he got into an agreement with Charlie and Diego and then he left. Give me a minute, I'll add you back right now."

Charlie and Diego? William must have expressed his shitty homophobic opinion.

"Oh fuck, I'm with Bryce?" Scott says and he grimaces. We're taking two cars on the road trip, one less than last time because the girls aren't coming. Charlie has made a list of whos gonna be in which car so we don't get confused.

_Zach, Diego, Charlie, Monty, Winston in Zach's car._

_Justin, Bryce, Scott, Alex in rental car._

He also made a list of what we should bring with us so we don't have to borrow each other's shit again. It was bad enough last year when I had to share my underwear with Justin because he thought there was gonna be a washing machine and he could just wash the 2 pairs he brought.

"I'll be there too," Justin tells Scotty. "And Alex. We'll be fine." Then he turns to me and raises his eyebrows. "At least we won't have to deal with Charlie, you know he gets car sick."

"Great," I say as we get to the gate of Scott's house. "I mean, we can always swap places with someone, not like Charlie can make us follow the list."

I don't doubt that some people may have complaints, Alex will not want to be stuck in a car with Scott Bryce and Justin, he'd rather be with his boyfriend.

William doesn't pay attention to us when we get inside, not even when Justin says hi to him. He just continues glaring at the art on the wall.

"So I'll go get that shower now," I say. It's been all I could think about since we left the orchard.

"Just don't take too long, I wanna shower too," Justin shouts as I go up the stairs. He stays downstairs with Scott and moments later I hear then talking about the road trip again. 

***

I don't know where Winston is and I don't want to ask in case the guys think it's weird or something.

All of us have showered long ago. I'm wearing some black shorts that belong to Scott and slippers that belong to his dad. My clothes are currently in the washing machine.

Scott and Justin are messing about in the swimming pool in Scott's back yard while his parents try to sort out the grill before more people arrive.

Zach and Charlie are already here. Charlie is dipping his legs in the pool while Zach and I sit on the garden chairs.

William is trying to help out with the grill, at least something got him away from painting.

"Road trip tomorrow, eh?" Zach says to me and sighs. We're just trying to relax while the kids fuck around in the swimming pool. Justin just pulled Charlie into the water by his ankles and I can hear the screaming and laughter.

"You dreading it?" I ask Zach judging by the tone of his voice. Maybe he doesn't want people to find out about him and Alex.

"A bit," Zach admits. "It's just that something always goes wrong, right?"

We never plan the road trips, we just go along with whatever happens but yeah, something usually goes wrong. Last year Bryce almost got arrested for using a fake ID to buy the alcohol but he flashed some money around and the problem went away.

"Yeah..." I can think of a few things that could go wrong this year but I don't say any of them. "How's Chloe?"

I haven't spoken much to Chloe, we don't even speak that much when Zach isn't around because she'd embarrassed to be seen with me. But now I know she won't even have time to read a text from me.

Zach shrugs. "She's fine."

"You two dating yet?" I'm pushing my luck but who cares, what's Zach gonna do?"

Zach sighs. "Nah... Don't think we're ever going to," he tells me and I'm surprised that he's able to admit it. "It just doesn't feel the same as it did last year. I think the spell is wearing off."

Sometimes a summer fling is just a summer fling.

"Zach! Monty! Would you mind helping to set up the tables?" Scott's mom looks over at us and then at the kids splashing around in the pool. She shakes her head just as Zach and I stand up at the same time.

Zach and I set up most of the tables and chairs and Scott comes out if the water to stop being a useless son and starts setting out the cups and plates.

I'm still wondering where Winston is when I finally hear his voice.

"We're back!" He sounds enthusiastic and happy just like he always does. I see him coming out from the kitchen and joining Scott's parents by the grill. Diego follows. What were they doing together? Do I even wanna know?

I continue setting up the chairs with Zach and after a while, Winston comes over.

"I've got this," he says to Zach and he takes the chair that Zach is holding out of his hands.

Zach laughs and he raises an eyebrow at me. "You sure? A little guy like you..."

"I've got strong arms, okay?" Winston says and he sounds slightly annoyed. "I've got this, I think they need some help in the kitchen."

So Zach nods and leaves for the kitchen. I think it's because he's realised that his comment was a bit hurtful. Either way, it's just me and Winston now. Justin and Scott are setting up the cutlery but they're at the other end of the table, arguing about which side the knife goes on.

I want to make conversation or at least I want Winston to make conversation but he's not even looking at me.

"Where have you been?" I ask him and I don't realise how salty I sound until the words come out of my mouth. There's really no right way to ask him this.

Winston grins to himself and raises an eyebrow. "Why? Did you miss me?" I don't answer and he sighs. "Just went out to get some shit for later. Darkroom paper, energy drinks, condoms, some lube. You know, the usual. Bumped into Diego there."

I feel my stomach twist at the last two words on that list and I shift uncomfortably. I don't respond and he stops and puts his hand on my shoulder. "By the way, do you know where I can get a sleeping bag or something? Charlie said I'll need one on that list and I couldn't find one anywhere in town."

I shrug. "I could go help you find one later." It's a friendly suggestion, I'm trying to be a good friend. But Winston always has to ruin it.

"Or I could just share with you," he jokes and I grab his hand, moving it away from my shoulder. My fingers stay wrapped around his wrist and both of us stop moving he chairs around.

"Stop," I quietly say to Winston and I'm trying to be serious about it but be just can't stop grinning.

"Stop what?" he asks and he raises his eyebrows.

I sigh. "You _know_ what." This... Thing that he's doing to me. I get that he's gay and whatever and he finds me attractive but... He doesn't need to fucking flirt with me all the damn time. It just gets worse and worse every day.

"Chill," Winston says and he snatches his wrist away. Probably a smart idea, I wouldn't walk anyone to see us like this for too long. "I'm just messing with you. And you're making it easy for me."

Messing with me? He's been messing with my fucking head ever since he got here. Obviously he's getting to me.

I unfold another chair, ignoring him fully. He glances at me but I pay no attention to him.

"Are you still mad about the kiss?" he asks quietly and my body stiffens. What is he doing talking about this in public?

"No," I say shortly. I'm not mad about the kiss. But I'm frustrated. Mad at myself even. What's the worst thing that could have happened if I had just given in? I can't think of _one_ bad scenario except for him maybe getting too attached.

My friends fuck around with each other all the time and they can stay friends, that shouldn't be too hard, right? I'm mad at myself for turning away from him. And now I won't get another chance because he promised not to do it again.

"Okay," Winston answers and he sighs. "So no more messing too?"

He sounds genuine. Would he really stop with all his comments if I say yes? But what would we be left with if he stops? Sure, I find it annoying sometimes, but it can be quite funny at times. I like it that he's comfortable around me.

I shrug. "If you want." That way it's not up to me, it's up to him. But I'd prefer it if we stayed like we are.

He nods. "Alright. I'll stop." Fuck. Not what I wanted. "Sorry if it made you... Uncomfortable."

It didn't. It didn't. Fuck. How do I tell him he doesn't have to stop now? But he just puts the last chair in his place and then he smiles at me.

"Back to being friends then, right?" he says and he doesn't even give me a second to answer because he turns away and starts walking back into the kitchen where most of them are.

***

I don't know who's weed is being passed around but it's weed all the same. Scott's parents have gone to sleep a while ago and it's just us now.

Winston hasn't looked at me all throughout dinner or lunch or whatever the fuck that was. He wasn't sat far away from me but he kept his eyes off of me. He just focused on Justin and Diego who were sat close to him.

He's laying down by the pool now, stirring the water with one leg. Zach and Charlie are in the water too messing about. The rest of us are sat on the garden chairs or laying down on the ground and passing the joint around. William is sat by the girl, he's reading a book.

Surprisingly, I'm laying down next to Alex. He doesn't seem that bad once he's high.

"Has anyone thought about who they're gonna fuck over the weekend?" Bryce asks us. So that's his plan, get us high and then try to tell him so he can win the game.

I scoff and don't answer. The rest of the guys don't seem bothered by the question.

"I was hoping to get it on with Alex," Justin says and then he laughs. I'm not sure if he's joking or not but the rest of us laugh. Alex laughs too which is shocking.

"Fine," he says and he sits up as Scott passes the joint to him. "But I'm not gonna bottom. I'm tired of bottoming."

The guys laugh and I raise an eyebrow. "Tired of bottoming? Who have you been bottoming for?" I ask him and he blushes. The other guys take it as a joke but I'm serious. I saw Alex's reaction.

"What about you Scotty?" Bryce asks just as Alex passes the joint to me. "You're always hard to read, give us a clue."

Scott rolls his eyes. "I'm not sleeping with anyone. I'm not gay." Scott doesn't judge it but he doesn't participate himself.

"Welcome to the club," Diego tells him and I remember that he's also fucking guys but he's not gay. "Now tells us, there's gotta be someone you've at least _thought_ about."

The conversation isn't even directed at me but I can feel myself sweating. I wouldn't want to be questioned like this. Mainly because there's a lot of guys I've thought about fucking and my face would give me away. I've thought about Justin, Scott, Charlie and even Alex. It wasn't anything like... Serious. I was just wondering what it would be like.

"What about Winston?" Justin joins in and I perk up at the sound of his name. They better not talk about fucking him again. Especially Justin.

I pass the joint to Diego. "Ah, Winston..." he says and I'm impressed at how calm and unbothered Scott is managing to stay. "Come on, you see him walking around your house like all day. You seen him after a shower? Or all sweaty after being out? Don't tell me you haven't thought about doing him."

Fuck, now _I'm_ getting horny. I blame the weed. Winston coming out from a shower? Fuck. I drift away, staring up at the sky making up a scenario in my head where I accidentally walk in on him showering.

"I barely see him," Scott says. "He hangs around Monty 24/7, they're basically inseparable at this point."

Now that's got their attention. They turn to me and start making teasing 'ooh' noises. I roll my eyes and I'm slightly annoyed that my fantasy is getting interrupted. Especially when things were just starting to get interesting.

"Maybe we should be putting our bets on Monty and Winston then," Bryce teases me. It's better to just go with it, that way they stop teasing you if you're not bothered.

"Yeah, maybe you should," I say and they start laughing again. Am I joking? I don't know myself.

We continue just smoking the weed, fucking around and then Scott decides to call William over for some reason. He sits down on one of the chairs opposite me and he smokes with us as we talk about our plans for the road trip. William isn't invited.

"Yeah just make sure to look after Winston," William tells us and I frown. How long can we manage to last without arguing? Five minutes?

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask and William shrugs.

"If he comes onto you just let him down easy," William tells us. As if I'd ever take advice from him. "Wouldn't want him to embarrass me by being a whore again."

By being a whore? "You're one to talk about sluts and whores," I say and William raises his eyebrows at me. The guys go awkwardly silent, they just let us deal with this between us. "I don't think it's any of your business how much pussy or dick someone takes a day."

William just doesn't let Winston have any fun. Ever. Maybe this weekend away could do him some good.

"Aww look at you sticking up for your boyfriend," William teases me and he gives me a smug grin. Does he really think the boyfriend jokes are gonna bother me?

"Aww look at you being a sad little jealous virgin," I say and William rolls his eyes. I don't think William is a virgin but he sure does act like it sometimes. 

"Let's all take a, erm, let's all take a breather," Bryce says calmly when the tension around us becomes unbearable. I don't say a word when the conversation resumes.

***

Fuck I need to piss so bad. No, fuck. I need to see Winston so bad.

He went inside a while ago and I would have followed him inside straight away but I didn't want to guys to start assuming shit.

I also need a break from William. His face and voice just pisses me off so much. If I hear him say one more thing about Winston, I'll have no choice but to punch him.

I'm just gonna have to use the guest bathroom downstairs, it's closer than having to go all the way up the stairs. Maybe I'll see Winston on the way and I can finally talk to him properly without everyone else surrounding us. Maybe I should tell him that I don't mind his 'flirting' or whatever he calls it.

I was too occupied arguing with William to notice that Justin sneaked out into the house at some point. And now he's in the kitchen with Winston. I stop in the doorway.

Winston is sat on the kitchen counter, his legs wrapped around Justin's waist and his hands all over Justin's hair. They're both breathing heavily, kissing each other like there's no tomorrow.

"Ahem," I clear my throat and Winston pulls away from Justin. Justin glances back and they see my staring at them from the doorway. 

How reckless do they have to be to start making out right here where anyone could walk in on them?

Justin looks shocked but Winston doesn't miss a beat. "My bedroom's down the hall," he tells Justin and he peels his hands and legs away from him. Justin gives me one last nervous glance and then he disappears into the hallway. Into Winston's bedroom.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna talk.

Winston gets down from the counter like nothing's wrong and he tries to play it off by putting his hands in his pockets but I can see that he's hard.

"Justin, huh?" I say and I raise my eyebrows. Winston shrugs. "Didn't think he was your type."

I'm pissed off. I fucking asked him if he and Justin would ever... Fuck. Why is he doing this?

Winston rolls his eyes. "Give me a break, I'm horny," he tells me and he walks over to the door to the hallway. It looks like he's waiting for me to leave so he can get back to doing whatever he was doing with Justin.

I open my mouth, try to think of something to say and then I close it again. What is there to say? 

Winston is still waiting, looking around the room and awkwardly playing with his hair. "Look, Monty..." he sighs and he looks like he's embarrassed to have to kick me out. As you can see, the friends thing without the teasing just isn't working out for us.

"I just wanted to use the bathroom and you're kind of blocking the door.," I tell him and he blushes.

"Oh. Sorry." He steps to the side and lets me pass but he won't look at me.

I take ages in the bathroom and when I walk out, I can hear laughter coming from Winston's room. His and Justin's. So they're really gonna... Okay. I don't judge. Whatever. I should get used to it there's gonna be more of that on the road trip.

I walk outside again and there's the weird feeling in my stomach. I sit down and I try to act okay but I don't realise that I'm gritting my teeth until I feel Zach's hand on my knee.

"You alright dude?" he asks me and I stop moving my jaw. He looks concerned and I nod.

"All good," I say and he takes his hand off my knee.

It looks like Bryce, Charlie and Diego are gone. Scott and William are sat by the pool, it looks like they're arguing about something. So it's just me, Zach and Alex now.

Alex is sat nowhere near him, they've barely looked at each other all night. But when they do... you can just see it when they look at each other. Even if it's only for a couple of seconds. They're being really discreet about it.

It seems to be working for them. Maybe I shouldn't interrupt.

"Are you guys like in the middle of a conversation?" I ask them. I just sat down and I wasn't really paying any attention to anything around me. I'm just pissed off at Winston for... Fuck. Why am I pissed off at him? He can fuck whoever he wants.

"Nah," Zach says and he grins at Alex. Alex smiles back and I feel like I'm interrupting.

"We were just talking about shit," Alex tells me and I nod.

"Well, continue then. I'll just listen." I tell them and they seem okay with that. They talk about what's life gonna be like after the summer and honestly I haven't really thought about it. Zach talks college and his big plans for football. Alex talks about being unsure of what he wants to do.

I observe William and Scott for a while. They don't seem to be arguing anymore. They're just sat opposite each other and laughing. Fuck, Scott is so obsessed with him.

A voice interrupts my thoughts. "Have we got any weed left?" I wish I knew how much time has passed so I could calculate whether that was enough time for them to fuck. But Winston is back now and he looks... Neat.

So either Justin didn't last more than five seconds or they didn't fucking at all.

Winston walks over to our circle and we stop our conversation. Justin isn't with him. There's another chair between me and Alex but instead of sitting on it, Winston walks over to me and sits in my lap. Fuck. He doesn't even hesitate, he does it so casually.

I get this weird feeling but I don't push him off of me, I just straighten up, I put my hands on his hips and I pull him closer to me so that he's sat properly.

Alex and Zach stop and stare unsure of what to do but neither of them says anything. I don't even wanna look over to see if William is watching.

"Have we got any weed?" Winston repeats snapping us all out of our dazes. I shake my head. "Fuck."

Maybe it's better that way, he's not that easy to control when he's drunk or high.

He's still sat on my lap and he starts shifting his hips, moving closer to me. His ass presses into my crotch and I just know that he's doing it deliberately. He said it as the beach, he knows exactly what he's doing.

But why is he here? Did Justin not satisfy him and he's willing to risk it all and ask me to-

"I don't know, I don't wanna be like a cop or anything," Alex continues the conversation from before and he keeps his eyes on Zach. I'm glad that he's choosing to ignore Winston who is currently sitting in my lap and rubbing all over me. If he says anything, I'll be sure to remind him of the necklace.

Alex and Zach continue their conversation but I can barely make out any words. I'm clenching my jaw trying my best to control myself but fuck, my cock has no self-control.

"Fuck, I'm gonna go get myself a drink from the kitchen," I say. I manage to push Winston away from me and I stand up from the chair. My cock is only maybe half-hard, I doubt you can see anything. "You want anything?"

I'm asking Zach and Alex but it's Winston that answers. "Sure. I'll go with you."

No no no. Me and him alone in the kitchen? Not gonna end well.

"Nah, I'm all good," Zach says.

"Yeah me too," Alex adds so I start walking towards the kitchen. Winston is by my side.

He doesn't say anything until we're in the kitchen. I pour myself a glass of apple juice and Winston just stands by the fridge watching me. I thought he was getting himself a drink? No, of course, this is just another excuse for him to be alone with me. Scott was right, he spends most of his time with me.

"Are you mad that I fucked Justin?" Winston asks me and I almost choke on my juice.

"W-what?" So did they fuck or did they not? I can't exactly ask, can I?

"Are you upset," Winston says slower. "That I... Let Justin..."

"Stop," I interrupt him. I really don't wanna know. Winston seems pleased by my reaction.

"You don't want me fucking other guys?" he asks and I don't answer. Other guys? So who else is he meant to fuck?

He starts walking towards me until my back is pressed against the counter behind us. He reaches up and takes the glass of apple juice out of my hand. I let him. The glass is put to the side, out of the way. I can barely breathe.

"If you don't want me fucking other guys..." Winston says slowly and I listen carefully. "Then just say so."

Is it that easy? It can't hurt to try.

"I don't want you fucking other guys," I say and Winston grins immediately.

"Why?"

Fuck I should have known there was more. I don't answer.

"Give me one good reason and I won't. Just one," Winston says and I chew on my bottom lip trying to think of something.

"Because..."

"Because?" Winston moves closer to me. Almost as close as we were at the beach right before he kissed me.

"Because..." Fuck I just need to think of one good reason. Wait, why do I need to stop him fucking other guys again? "Because I don't like it."

Winston licks his lips and he chuckles softly. "Because you don't like it? Why?"

I rub my temples. What does he not understand?

"Is it because you're jealous?" Winston asks and I push him away from me.

How many fucking times do I have to tell him that I'm not jealous until he gets it?

I glare at him but he's grinning. "Are you jealous Monty?" Winston continues and I can't even think anymore. I can't answer. "Is it because _you_ want to fuck me instead?"

Do I? I told him on his first day here, if you're horny no one cares how you choose to get off. No one would care if I chose to...

"I think..." I say slowly and Winston stays in place, waiting for what I have to say. "I think you're too horny to think straight."

Me and him fucking? As if that would ever happen. He's thinking with his cock now. He just wants to get off.

He laughs softly and he looks down at his feet. "Yeah, okay. Maybe I am a little horny."

"A little?" I ask and he shrugs. We both know it's more than a little. He's always fucking horny it seems. "When _aren't_ you horny?"

He grins to himself and his eyebrows twitch upwards. He's looking at me like... Fuck why does he have this effect on me?

"When I'm not around you," he tells me simply and I swallow. He's just fucking around with me, like always. I know he is. But this time, it's getting harder and harder to keep him out.

"Didn't Justin fuck you properly?" I ask him and he rubs his hand down his face.

"I didn't fuck Justin," he tells me. "I blew him and then he went home. I think he freaked out."

I relax slightly. So he didn't fuck Justin and I'm glad that he didn't. "All that lube and condoms, for nothing, huh?" I tease him and he laughs. Then he looks me up and down.

"I'm sure I'll find a use for them later," he says and I look away. I really don't wanna talk to him about this.

"I should get going," I say and I put my hands in my pockets. "Gotta wake up early tomorrow, right?" Anything to change the conversation topic.

"Ah, yes. The road trip," Winston says like he's forgotten about it. He doesn't seem to care much about the road trip at this moment in time. He puts his hands on either side of me on the counter. What is he doing?

"I-I should really go," I tell him and he nods but he doesn't remove his hand from the counter. I'm trapped. "Winston..."

He moves closer to me, leans in until our noses are almost touching. I swear, I had no idea my heart could beat this fast. I stay looking at him but his eyes are focused on my lips. I don't have the energy anymore, I just want him to fucking kiss me. I really don't care about anything else. How long can I keep resisting him?

He stops moving closer and I realise that I may have to make then move. So I take a deep breath and I move forward... But Winston steps back, his hands slide away from the counter and he moves away so that he's by the fridge again. What the hell was that?

"Good night then," he says and he grins. I stare at him as he walks out of the kitchen and back into the garden.

I touch my lips with my fingertips. They weren't kissed but it feels like they were. Fuck. I should have fucking kissed him.

I don't think I can keep him out for any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked this. road trip chapters coming next and things are about to start getting interesting :)


	8. The Power Of A Skirt

**Chapter Eight**

I don't know how long I've slept but it wasn't long. We're supposed to meet at Zach's holiday house which is a while away from mine. 

That means that when I get there, they're all waiting for me. They're standing around Zach's car arguing about something. I can't see Bryce or Winston in the group.

"What's going on?" I ask as I get closer. They stop their argument, Zach and Scott look at me.

"Bryce invited some friend of his," Zach says sourly and I frown.

"A friend?" This was supposed to be a road trip for us, what the fuck is he doing bringing some guy along? I'm not surprised, should have known he wouldn't just leave with that spare seat in his car.

Zach nods and shakes his head. "He texted us a few minutes ago, they're gonna be here soon." No one looks happy that Bryce is bringing someone along.

"It's fine, we can just ignore him," Charlie the peacemaker says. He doesn't want us to argue before we even get the chance to set off. 

I pass my bag to Diego and he shoves it into the trunk of Zach's car, there's barely any space.

"Guys? I can't reach!" We turn back to Zach's house, Winston is stood at the side of it. Can't reach what?

"Just climb over the junk!" Zach shouts back to him but Winston doesn't look on board with the idea.

"Someone come help me out!" he shouts back and I can already feel his eyes on me. "Monty come help me!"

It's always me and the guys seem to be used to it too. They don't bat an eyelash as I start walking to Winston. He's grinning when I reach him.

He's part of the reason I couldn't sleep for reasons I won't say. But my arm is aching after last night.

"So what are we getting?" I ask him as he leads us to the back of the house where the little storage barn is. 

"A sleeping bag," Winston tells me. "I still couldn't find one so Zach's letting me borrow one of his. It's like stuck in between some shit and I can reach it."

The door to the barn is wide open and Winston managed to take some of the heavy shit out like the old grill and a couch but the barn is still loaded with useless junk.

"So where is it?" I ask I step through the metal roads by my feet. I walk into a spider web, it sticks to my face and I quickly wipe it off. Winston looks disgusted and he stays where he is outside the barn.

"It's on that shelf up there," Winston says and he points. The shelf is on the other side of the barn, I'll need to climb over everything. 

I step on an old chair, a broken bed, a desk. They wobble under my feet but they're sturdy enough to hold me up.

"Be careful," Winston says and I scoff.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," I say and then I step on abox that looks full but isn't and I lose my balance. I squash the box and I manage to grab onto something to stop myself from falling over. Fuck, that could have hurt.

"Are you okay?" Winston asks. I'm more embarrassed than okay so I just nod without turning around.

I finally manage to reach the shelf, I pull the sleeping bag out from under an old broken computer screen and I turn around and throw it to Winston. He catches us and steps away as I start climbing through all this junk again. I jump down from the couch and then I brush myself down to get rid of any dust and spiderwebs that clung onto me.

Winston is leaning against the barn when I come out and stretch. I was thinking we were gonna go back now but he stays where he is.

"I think they're still arguing," Winston tells me. I sigh and I walk over to where he's standing. We should be setting off in a few minutes but there's still no sign of Bryce, the rental car or his friend. 

"They better not ruin the trip," I say to myself but it's just small talk. Winston hums in agreement and then he turns his head to look at me. The sleeping bag is on the ground next to his feet. He's not picking it up so I'm guessing that we're still not leaving.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" Winston asks me and he reaches up to trace the bags under my eyes with his fingers. Is he being serious? The touching, again? 

"A little," I admit and I make no effort to stop his finger from touching my face.

He smiles showing his dimples. "What kept you up?" he asks and he gives me this look like he knows. But he can't know.

I turn my head away and his finger slides down my cheek and then drops from my face so that he's not touching me anymore. 

I hear the sound of a car engine in the distance and I'm guessing that it's Bryce finally coming. At least I have an excuse to leave now. 

"Come on." I start walking and Winston trails behind holding his sleeping bag. 

"Can you hold it for me?" he asks and I groan.

"What about your 'strong arms'?" I ask him remembering what he said to Zach. He grins and rolls his head like he knows that I've caught him in a lie.

The guys don't look any happier than they did when I left. But Charlie's trying his best to put on a smile. Bryce rented a large black jeep. It looks much bigger than Zach's car, they can at least fit their stuff into the car. 

"Did you find the sleeping bag?" Zach asks us as we come closer. Most of the guys are surrounding Bryce, the car and the guy he brought along with him. He looks a bit like Bryce but with less forehead and more facial hair. 

Winston nods and he holds the sleeping bag up.

"Good," Zach says. "I don't think there's any space left in the trunk, will you be alright sitting with it in your lap?" Winston shrugs like he couldn't really care less.

The guy comes over and introduces himself as Brad. He shakes my hand and then Winston's while Zach taps his foot impatiently. I have no doubt that Zach has been ready to set off for hours and this further delay is just pissing him off.

"Okay, let's get going then," Zach says and he opens the door on the driver's side. "Diego called dibs on the front seat," Zach then tells me through the open window and I sigh. That means that I'm stuck in the backseat with Scott and Winston.

"Don't worry, I'll keep you company," Winston tells me and he squeezes my shoulder as he walks past me and towards the car.

Keep me company? I wonder how that will go.

***

It's only a three-hour drive or so and yet it feels like we've been in this car for weeks.

Charlie and Scott swapped cars at the last minute. Scott was complaining about not wanting to be with Bryce and Charlie is a softie so he agreed to swap even if it meant not being around his boyfriend Deigo.

"How are you doing back there Monty? You comfortable?" Diego asks me and then he and Zach laugh.

They have it easy, sitting in the front seat where there's lots of space. I'm sat in between Scott and Winston, both of them are sleeping on me. Scott's head is on my left shoulder and the right one is occupied by Winston's big head.

"I'm walking back home," I tell Diego and he laughs again. "Fuck, if I have to go through this again-"

"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep," Winston complains and he tries to get comfortable. I glare at him even though I know that he can't see. But he's really treating me like his own pillow. _'I'll keep you company'_ , yeah right. 

"How adorable," Deigo teases me and then he looks down at his phone screen. He makes a face at me. "Alex is calling." He answers the phone and I sit still and listen as to not disturb Winston or Scott.

Diego talks on the phone and Zach glances at him a few times. "What is it?" Zach asks once Diego hangs up.

"Fuck," Diego says and he rubs his hands up and down his face. "Charlie was sick in the car, they're gonna stop at the nearest gas station to clean him up and get a break. He wants us to stop too."

I raise my eyebrows. We warned the guys that Charlie was car sick, hopefully, he didn't vomit all over the rental.

"And Alex is okay?" Zach asks and I'm surprised he's asking, he wouldn't want to blow his cover.

Diego nods. "Yeah, they're all fine. I'm just worried about Charlie. Fuck."

Is it just me or is it getting a bit gay in this car? Zach worrying about his boyfriend, Diego worrying about Charlie and Winston who is just- Holy fuck, he did _not_ just put his hand there.

Winston's - or Zach's - sleeping bag is in my lap seeing as I'm Winston's personal everything and he uses me for every single little thing. No one can see his hand in my lap but I can definitely feel it. And the fucker is still pretending to be asleep.

I shift in my seat trying to get his hand away from my crotch but it just stays there and I groan in my head.

"How close are we to the gas station?" I ask and I move closer to Scott. Winston's hand rests on my thigh.

Diego shrugs. "I don't know, five minutes?"

Five minutes? That sounds like forever. That's enough time for Winston to... They still can't see his hand, they're not even paying attention and Winston's eyes are closed as he moves his head so that his hair is ticking my neck.

He didn't move his hand as we drove to the gas station but it stayed on my thigh. It was better than nothing. 

Bryce and co are already out of their car when we get there. They drove slightly faster than us and got here before us. Bryce is waiting by the car and Zach goes over to talk to him. 

Charlie looks sickly pale, Alex is helping him out of the car and Diego jogs over to check up on his boyfriend.

"Fuck, move," I say and I roll my shoulders. Scott and Winston are still laying on my shoulders. Scott groans and then he looks up at me all confused. "We're stopping for a break," I explain. Scott nods and then he gets out of the car to stretch his legs. He's still disorientated from the sleep.

"You too," I say to Winston as he doesn't even move a muscle. "And I know that you're not sleeping." He starts to laugh and he opens his eyes. His head stays on my shoulder and he grins at me.

"Five more minutes?" he asks and he starts playing with the collar of my flannel shirt. I grab him by the wrist and pull his hand away. He pouts. "Okay, fine." 

So he eventually peels himself away from me and he gets out of the car. I follow after pushing the sleeping bag away from my lap.

Zach and Bryce are gone, I think they went to buy something. That Brad guy is just walking around awkwardly and I look away when he looks my way.

Winston goes over to Alex, Charlie and Diego so I walk over to Scott and Justin because I think I need a break from Winston for a few minutes.

"Did he vomit all over?" I ask Justin and he shakes his head.

"Nah, he already had a bag prepared because he said he felt sick a few minutes before," Justin tells me and he pulls a face at the memory. "Fuck, I'm so happy I wasn't sitting anywhere near him. Kinda feel bad for Alex having to comfort him now."

I glance over but it's not Alex comforting Charlie anymore. Alex and Winston are stood at the side, talking about something. Diego and Charlie are stood next to them, Diego has his arms around Charlie and he's rubbing his back up and down while Charlie buries his face into his shoulder.

"That's cute," Scott says and I look away realising that I'm staring. Just a week ago, Scott was obsessing over who was a fag and who wasn't and now he's being like this. Oh, the power of not being around William. 

Scott then looks around and shifts from foot to foot. "Fuck, they have toilets here. I'll be back in a sec."

So Scott leaves Justin and me alone and normally that would be fine but for some reason, it's kind of awkward. Might as well fuck it and make it even more awkward.

"So... heard about you and Winston," I tell him and I raise my eyebrows. 

Justine's eyes widen. "He told you?" he asks but he doesn't look surprised. "Yeah, I... He blew me."

I already knew that but now I at least know that Winston wasn't lying. Justin looks slightly awkward and he clears his throat.

"So did you come on his face?" I tease him remembering what he said he wanted to do to Winston. My hands start to sweat and Justin looks embarrassed.

"No, I-Fuck, man," Justin says his words running into each other. "It was like... The best blow job I ever got. Fuck, it was so fucking good, I couldn't even fucking think, nevermind move to come on his face. Nah, I just let him do whatever."

I nod and I try my best to get any images of Winston blowing Justin out of my head. I thought I'd be jealous but thinking about it... It's kinda hot.

"So why didn't you stay? If it was so good," I ask and Justin shrugs. Zach and Bryce come out from the shop holding bags of what looks like even more food and alcohol. We've got tons stacked up in the trunks of our cars but you can never have enough.

"I was just like... Fuck, it was so good. If I came again, my brain would have turned to mush," Justin tries to explain and I just nod again like I understand. But that good? He can't be _that_ good.

"We all good to go?" Bryce asks us as he opens the door to the driver's seat. He glances around and only Brad looks like he's ready to get back in the car.

"Hey, guys?" Diego calls over getting all of our attention. "Does anyone wanna swap with me? I think I should, erm, like stay with Charlie? To make sure he's okay and shit."

Diego's arm is still around Charlie's shoulder and Charlie rests his head against Diego's cheek. Why are they so comfortable acting so couply around everyone? Brad makes a face and he looks away.

"I can swap," Alex says like he's been waiting to get away from Bryce and co all day. He just wants to be close to his boyfriend. Justin tuts like he also wanted to swap but he doesn't say anything.

But if Diego is going away with Bryce and Charlie then...

"I call dibs on the front seat!" I say and I grin as Alex rolls his eyes at me. Zach doesn't look too bothered and I start walking back to his car as the rest of them go back into Bryce's car.

Sitting in the front seat means that Winston is nowhere near me and his hands are nowhere near my crotch. Winston holds the sleeping bag by himself now as he talks to Alex about photography. Scott still looks tried, within minutes he falls back into sleep on Alex's shoulder.

***

I don't think I've ever been more glad to get out of a car. I fell asleep at some point and I didn't wake up until we were almost at the cabin because Zach drove over a bump on the path or something like that. Hopefully, it wasn't an animal.

We park the cars not too close to the cabin so we still have some space for bonfires and whatever else.

"Hey! Look what I found!" Justin went inside to piss and now he's pushing an old dark grey couch out of the house. Pretty sure it was light grey once. We always used to push it outside and use it during our smoking sessions but it had to go back inside at the end of the weekend so it wouldn't get damaged by the weather and whatever else.

Zach rolls his eyes at me and then he goes over to help Justin drag the couch out of the cabin. 

"Ah, leg cramp," I hear beside me and then second later someone is leaning on me. Do I even have to say who?

"Wha the hell are you doing?" I sigh. I'm used to his bullshit by now. He puts his hand on my shoulder to steady himself as he starts rubbing his leg.

"I've got a cramp," he tells me and I raise an eyebrow. I wish I could control my face but I'm grinning before I know it. He's quite amusing really. He grins back, unable to keep this lie up but he still tries. "Massage my thigh for me?" he asks and he can't even take himself seriously. He bursts out laughing and I do too.

"Come on, let's get our shit out of the trunk," I say and Winston gives up on his imaginary cramp and goes over to the back of the car with me. 

"Oh, the sleeping bag," he says and then he opens the door of the car to get it out from where he was previously sat. 

I get my backpack out, there's only clothes and shit like that in there. I don't need much and as soon as I take the sleeping bag out it'll be pretty much empty. 

Winston has two bags, one for his stuff and clothes and the other one for all his photography bullshit. I shake my head at him and he grins.

"What? You can't expect me to not take pictures over a whole weekend," he says as we start walking towards the cabin. Zach and Justin are trying to position the couch so that it doesn't get in the way, Bryce comes over to help them out.

On our way to the cabin Alex and Diego pass us. "The bags still in the car?" Diego asks me and then they walk away once I nod.

"You know, you're really cute when you sleep," Winston says out of nowhere and I just stare at him. He's looking down at his feet. "I would have taken a picture but..." We were in a car with a bunch of other people. Yeah, I get it.

"Surprised you didn't take any when you slept in my bed that one time," I say. It was like two days ago but it seems like ages away. 

Winston chuckles softly. "Yeah... Maybe if it wasn't awkward after the kiss I would have."

I press my lips together. The kiss changed things between us but I wouldn't say that it was for the worse. "It's not awkward now though," I say and Winston hums in agreement. No, not awkward, we just think about fucking each other all the damn time.

Charlie is looking better now, he's already getting bossy telling everyone where to put their sleeping bags. 

"No! Not there, I told you, the path has to be clear as we can go to the bathroom without having to step over each other," Charlie says and he rubs his temples. Are we really sure that he's the youngest one here?

The living room isn't even a living room, it's an empty room for us to lay our sleeping bags in. There's one big table close to the window but the guys have already littered it with food and alcohol. Any other tables and chairs that were here previously are being dragged outside to join the couch.

"So where do I go?" I ask Charlie because I'd rather ask now than have him scream at me later. 

Charlie turns around just as Scott moves his sleeping bag out of the way. "I saved the space in the corner for you, I know you like it there."

"Thanks," I say and I go over to the corner while Winston stays with Charlie. My sleeping bag is close to Alex's, Zach is sleeping on the other side of the room. Are they really sure they can stay away from each other for the full weekend?

I lay the sleeping bag down, unroll it and try to sort it out so that it's comfortable. I'll probably end up sleeping on top of it, it's way to warm to get all wrapped up in it.

I look up and Charlie is helping Winston sort his sleeping bag one close to where Justin's is. Well isn't that great?

***

After we've finished moving in or whatever, Bryce comes over to tell us that he ordered pizza but they can't deliver here. We're outside, some of us sat on the couch but I'm sat on one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs.

"Wow, really smart," Zach says and he rolls his eyes. I think he's still pissed off at Bryce for bringing his friend along. Brad hasn't really done or said anything that stood out to me, he's just hanging around Bryce and rolling his eyes whenever the guys make jokes about fucking. I don't know if it's just me but I don't really like this dude.

"Aw come on, I just need someone to go over there and pick it up," Bryce says but no one looks like they're willing to offer to go.

"How far away is it?" I ask and Bryce looks pleased that at least one of us speaks up. Come one, it's pizza and I have an idea.

"Like half an hour if you're walking? I'll let you take the car though," Bryce says and I nod.

"Alright but you owe me one," I tell Bryce. He doesn't look happy but I'm the only one willing to go so why not. Bryce owing me one could be useful one day. 

"I'll come with you."

"I can go too."

So now they wanna go? Scott and Winston look at each other both having spoken at the same time. They both look slightly annoyed with each other.

"I'll let you sort this one out between yourselves," Bryce says and gives me a small pat on the chest. He starts to walk back to the cabin and then he turns around. "Oh, the money's in the car."

So Winston and Scott both look back to me. Winston tilts his head to the side, slightly raises one eyebrow and looks me up and down. Me and him alone in the car for God knows how long? No way. I don't even need a second to consider it.

"Come on then Scotty, we haven't got all day," I say without taking my eyes off Winston. He looks surprised that I didn't pick him. His lips part and his eyebrows furrow. Yeah no, I don't trust myself around him.

I don't look at him again, I just keep my eyes on Scott and we walk to the rental car together. I don't think Scott even expected me to pick him over Winston. He was right I _do_ spend most of my time with Winston. But he seems happy now that we're going together.

"You drive?" Scott asks and I nod.

"Unless you've got your driving license?"

He shakes his head. "Nah, didn't bring it."

To be honest, driving licenses wouldn't matter around here, there are no cops around checking the roads or anything. But it's still better to avoid getting in trouble, I'm not Bryce I can't just use money to make my problems disappear.

***

I think Winston is mad at me. Or maybe just slightly annoyed that I picked Scott over him. 

When Scott and I came back, he and Justin weren't around and it felt weird to ask but I did anyway, I was just hoping that they didn't go to the bedroom together. 

"I think they went inside to play games or something," Zach tells me with a shrug. _Just_ to play games? I hope so.

Before, I found it hot thinking about Winston blowing Justin. Or maybe I just found Winston hot. But now just thinking about them sitting in there alone is making me want to clench my teeth. Justin did say that it was good so he probably wants more.

In the cabin, there's the living room that we sleep in, the kitchen that we rarely use except for when the bathroom's taken and you need to wash your teeth or something, the games room, the bedroom and one bathroom. Justin and Winston normally wouldn't have much privacy is what I'm trying to say but all of us are outside now and so they're in the cabin by themselves.

"Fuck, who ate the last pepperoni and closed the box? Fuckin' dickheads," Diego groans and he throws the empty box off the table so it won't clutter the table. I think Brad took it but I mind my own business and I scroll through my Instagram. Bryce already posted some pictures. I wonder if Winston has Instagram. He must do with the number of photos he takes.

"You can have my slice," Charlie tells Diego and it's like there's a switch in Diego's brain or something, his face immediately turns soft and he smiles.

"No, it's alright," Diego tells Charlie and he ruffles his hair. Fuck, they _are_ cute together. Brad rolls his eyes and I swear to God if I catch him again I'm going to beat the shit out of him. 

I go back to my phone and start searching for a Winston Williams on Instagram. There's too many of them. I should maybe look in William's followers. And then I remember that I have William blocked so that's not gonna work out. 

I'm about to go searching into Scott's followers but then I hear Winston's voice and I quickly put my phone away. He's walking out of the cabin with Justin by his side and he's wearing a... A skirt?

It's a black skirt and he's got a belt too, his T-shirt is tucked into it and he... Why does he manage to pull it off? I think it's the legs. It must be the legs, they're like a girl's, all thin and nice. He doesn't even have hairy legs.

I think every one of us has stopped to stare at Winston and can you blame them? Bryce manages to get himself together first.

"Took you long enough," Bryce says as Winston and Justin sit next to each other on the couch. "What were you doing in there?" Bryce is saying what everyone else is thinking.

Justin shrugs and Winston doesn't stop grinning. He still hasn't looked my way, not even once. 

"Just teaching Winston a few tricks," Justin says as he settles himself down and puts his arm around Winston. What the fuck? 

"In the game, of course," Winston adds with a sly grin and I don't know what to believe anymore. My jaw is clenched so tightly that I feel like my teeth are gonna shatter any moment now.

Fuck him then. If he wants to blow Justin then who am I to stop him? So I try to keep my eyes away from him but it's hard. Because that fucking skirt... I just glance a few times.

I really do try my best to ignore him, I even get into a conversation with Zach and Alex and I forget about Winston for a minute or two but then I hear him laugh and I'm back to staring at him. 

"I like the skirt," Scott tells Winston casually and I don't even realise that I'm glaring at him until Scott shoots a confused look my way. What does he mean he likes the skirt? Can he fuck off?

Winston grins at Scott and I press my lips together to remind myself to keep my mouth shut.

"Yeah, you've got really nice legs," Zach adds and it's not just me looking annoyed this time. Both Alex and I stare at Zach like it'd be better for all of us if he just kept his mouth shut.

"Thanks," Winston says and he pushes some hair away from his face. His cheeks turn slightly pink and Justin squeezes his fucking shoulder. How the fuck are the guys allowing this?

I literally fucking force myself to stay focused on Zach as he talks. Alex isn't paying any attention to him anymore, I think Zach's in trouble. But I focus on Zach's lips and I hear the words coming out of his lips and yet I take nothing in. I'm too focused on Winston and Justin casually flirting on my right.

Do I dare to look? One glance can't hurt. Just to check if they're still at it. So I slightly turn my head and fuck one glance _can_ fucking hurt. Justin's hands are on either side of Winston's face and they're looking and smiling at each other like they're going to kiss anytime soon.

"Winston, didn't you leave something in the car?" I ask him and Zach stops talking. 

"No, I don't think I did," Winston says with no hesitation. He doesn't take his eyes off of Justin.

"I think you did," I say sternly and this fucker better not argue with me. He turns his head and pretends to think. Then he shakes his head.

"No... I _really_ don't think I did," he tells me and his eyes make contact with mine for the first time in hours. The guys are looking at me weirdly now in a 'what are you on about Monty' sort of way.

"Well, I'm saying you did," I say and it's getting difficult to swallow now. If he doesn't move, I'll go over there and pick him up myself. "Can't hurt to check right?"

I think he's gonna be difficult again but then he sighs and moves away from Justin. "I guess," he says and he brushes himself down as he stands up. He straightens up his skirt and I stand up too. The guys look confused as hell but I don't care.

Winston walks a few steps in front of me and I follow him. His skirt bounces with every step and I know, I fucking _know_ he's doing it on purpose.

The keys are in the cars because you know, it's easier than always having to look around for them whenever we need to use the car for something. It's not like there's anyone around for miles to steal the cars.

"So what did I leave here?" Winston asks once we're stood between the two cars. The guys can't see us from here, Bryce's giant jeep in hiding us away. He crosses his arms over his chest and he presses his back against the jeep. 

He knows that it was just an excuse to talk to him. "I thought we agreed you wouldn't fuck other guys," I remind him of our conversation from yesterday. I want him to make a joke out of it and tell me he's not fucking anyone but instead, he shrugs.

"We did? I don't remember that happening," he says and he tilts his head upwards. 

"We did," I say. His adam's apple bobs up and down as he keeps his eyes on mine, looking at me like he's waiting for me to say something. "Come on, Winston. Justin? Realy?"

He rolls his eyes and groans. "Leave me _alone_. I'm fucking horny, okay?" That seems to be his excuse for everything.

"You're _always_ fucking horny," I remind him and I put my hands on either side of him. I'm touching the car but oh well. "What's new?"

"Maybe I wouldn't be so horny if someone just fucking fucked me properly," Winston tells me and his eyebrows twitch upwards.

I can see the guys laughing from the other side of the car window, they don't look like they're missing us very much.

"What, Justin can't make you come?" I ask him and a smile tugs at his lips. He doesn't reply for a second and then he blinks.

"I bet you could make me come," he says and I fucking freeze. I'm telling you, it feels like my heart has stopped and my brain just stops working.

I bet I could. I _know_ I could. Would that stop him from fucking around with Justin?

I bring my body closer to his, my hands still by his sides. He doesn't move. I move even closer until I feel my leg touch his skirt. And I don't know what comes over me, but I lean forward and I press my lips so hard against his that his head bangs against the car.

He lets out a short muffled moan just from the contact. I bring one hand up to grab the hair at the back of his head and I tug at it as I let my mouth kiss his. Fuck, there's nothing soft about this like our first kiss. I kiss him hard enough to bruise him.

His lips part when I tug at his hair but no sound comes out, he just closes his eyes tightly shut. I then remember what the point of this is, to make him come. 

I kiss him again and it's messy. I kiss everywhere around his lips and his lips like I can't get enough of him. He starts to smile but he still makes no sound. I tug harder at his hair, letting his head lean back to expose his neck. His beautiful neck that hasn't been marked.

I lean down and I start leaving sloppy kisses everywhere, marks would be too obvious but I still want to mark him. I start sucking on his skin and pulling away after a second or two so it doesn't leave any hickeys. 

There's this one spot, between his aw and neck, right under his ear, I lick over that spot and then I start sucking. Winston hisses like he's been burnt.

"Fuckshit," he says and he digs his nails into my back. I'm not wearing a shirt, it's too hot for that. I didn't expect it and he pushes my body into his so that I feel something hard poke my leg. He really wasn't lying when he said he was horny.

I pull away from his neck, take one second to glance at the guys and then I start kissing his swollen lips again. 

How much time do we have before the guys start suspecting something? We need to do this fast. With the hand that's not pulling at his hair, I go under his skirt and I tug his boxers down. 

"Easy access, huh?" he jokes as he pulls away to catch his breath. He knew. All this, it was fucking planned. And I should be mad that he knew he'd be able to get under my skin but I couldn't care less right now.

His erect cock is right there in the open, lifting his skirt up slightly. I kiss him again to muffle the sound of his sighs and groans when I wrap my hand around his length. I don't go slow, we don't have time for that. I need to make him come and then we need to get back there before the guys come to check on us.

I stroke him fast and hard and he winces slightly at the burn but the precome dropping from his tip is making it easier for my hand to glide over him.

"I didn't fuck Justin," Winston breaths out and my hand almost stops. I move away from him to make some space between us.

"You didn't?" But I thought they...? Why else would they be in the cabin for so long? And the way they looked at each other.

Winston shakes his head. "No just m-messed around with him," he says and then his mouth opens wide and he moans loudly. "Fuck, Monty. Keep going please."

My hand slows down because I'm not gonna be taking orders from him. Messed around with Justin? What's that supposed to mean?

He starts thrusting into my hand, not really caring if someone can see us or not, all he seems to care about is getting off right now. And I have him right where I want him. 

"Ssshh," I say quietly as he moans again. It's nothing like what I've heard the girls moan. I'm used to hearing the guys fucked, but they just groan and grunt. I've never heard them moan, not like this all breathless and needy but I like it.

I hear the guys laugh in the distance, they better not be coming here anytime soon. Either way, I grab Winston's hip and I press him closer to me so that if one of them does walk by, they won't be able to see my hand buried underneath Winston's skirt.

He throws his head back, hitting it hard against the car. His eyes are scrunched up and his mouth wide open. I'm worried he's gonna moan again as I move my hand faster.

I put my other hand over his mouth and he chuckles lightly, the chuckle soon turns into another moan which I manage to slightly muffle.

"Are you close?" I ask him. He better be, I wanna get this over with and go back to the guys before they start suspecting shit.

He nods and his eyes start to roll to the back of his head. Fuck he's so hot like this, completely in my control.

"Oh shit. Your _hand._.." he says and then he closes his eyes again.

I feel him twitch in my hand and his thighs move closer together. I push his legs apart again with my own leg and I keep going even though he starts grunting and whining in protest. When's the last time someone made him come? He acts like he's never been able to get off in his entire life.

Fuck, how long does it take him to come? I think he's trying not to, I can feel him sinking his teeth into his lip, his breathing getting deeper and deeper. He is _so_ trying not to come.

"Winston..." I say and I take my hand away from his mouth. I can't move my other hand any faster now, I'm going as fast as I can and if he doesn't come soon...

I place my hand on his back and I push him into me. He's too weak to resist, he rests his forehead on my shoulder and his body is practically leaning on mine.

"Come on. Come for me," I whisper into his ear and he groans. He bites down on my shoulder. Fuck, that's gonna leave a mark. His legs tense up and I know this fucker should have come by now, why is he being difficult? 

But what if he comes? Is he gonna come all over me? I move my hand to the top of his skirt and I wrap the black material along with my hand around his dick. I stroke him and the material adds a lot of friction. He _has_ to come now.

"Come for me baby," I whisper into his ear and I think it's the 'baby' that does it for him. He moans against my shoulder and his breathing becomes shallower as he makes little 'ah' sounds.

He spills onto his skirt, soaking the material as his hips twitch. I keep stroking him, only slower and his legs shake as he continues to come.

His body is fully limb by the time he's done and I'm the only thing stopping him from falling to the ground. I put both my hands on his hips to steady him and he continues to breathe into my shoulder.

"You're such a bastard," he says breathlessly. "Making me come all over my skirt. It was new as well." So is he more worried about getting off or the skirt?

"Come on, the guys are gonna come here soon. We should get back," I tell him but he just keeps on trying to regulate his breathing. He's not even listening to me. "Winston."

"I can't fucking walk you fucker. Give me a minute," he says and I laugh at him. He wraps one of his arms around my neck to try to steady himself and after a moment he peels himself away from me. His legs are still shaking. I can't help but feel a tiny bit proud that he's like this all because of me. He pulls his boxers up with trembling hands.

Then I notice the blood on his lip and I look at my shoulder. Fucking teeth marks already looking purple. But the blood isn't mine.

"Your lip," I tell him and he shakily wipes it away with the back of his hand. That's how hard he bit into it when he was trying not to come.

"That was so fucking worth it," he mumbles to himself and I don't think he's quite alright yet. He still looks a bit dazed. What was worth it? Annoying the shit out of me by flirting with Justin?

"Come on," I say to Winston and he follows me as we walk out from between the two cars. I'll need to put on a shirt to hide the teeth marks before anyone sees. Fuck and he needs to change his skirt.

We start walking back to the guys and Winston still looks like he doesn't even know what planet he's on. His legs keep wobbling and he stares down at his feet.

"Can we do that again soon?" he asks me innocently and I press my lips together. I mean, it's not like we'll just be able to go back to whatever we were before but I guess I just wasn't expecting him to want to do it again.

"Yeah, okay," I say and he grins at me widely. 

The guys look up when we get closer. They exchange glances and raise their eyebrows. I pick my shirt up from the chair and I quickly put it on to cover the bite mark on my shoulder.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Zach asks me and I don't dare to meet his eye in case something gives me away.

"Yep," I say and I slump down in my chair. Winston sits back down next to Justin but they're not sitting so close anymore. Looks like Winston got the message.

I don't want him fucking other guys, I wanna fuck him myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long to post but you must understand why :) hope you liked it.


	9. We Don't Do That Here

**Chapter Nine**

Winston and I are doing our best to keep our eyes away from each other. It's not that easy once we're both high.

We're sat around the grill that I think Bryce dragged over from the kitchen. Something is burning inside it, I think Justin is trying to heat up his pizza in some caveman way when there's a microwave back at the cabin.

"Monty, truth or dare?" Justin asks me and I laugh.

It's my turn to sit on the couch, I've had enough of the uncomfortable chairs. My head is laying in Scott's lap and he plays with my hair while Alex sits on his other side.

"Nu-uh, we're not doing that," I say and Justin sighs. Only Scott can get away with unexpected truth or dare games.

"Okay, dare," Justin says pretending not to hear me. "I dare you to fuck Scott."

I laugh again and even Scott manages a small chuckle.

"That's on your list?" I ask and I turn my head to look at Justin.

"That's on my list," he confirms with a grin.

"Well, now I'll know who not to fuck," I say and the guys laugh. We made our lists about two hours ago, Charlie is looking after them to make sure no one cheats. He's like the only trustworthy one around here but I bet that if Diego wanted to look at the lists then Charlie would let him.

Charlie and Diego are number one on my lists, there's no way they'll be able to keep their hand off each other even for a day.

Bryce made everyone participate even though Diego and Alex tried to get out of it. Only Brad got a pass. I hate that fucker so much already. He just sits there silently judging us.

It's dark now, you can see the stars and I turn away from Justin and stare at the sky. The guys are having a conversation in the background but I don't pay attention to them.

Alex is still grumpy about Zach complimenting Winston's legs. Someone should cheer him up.

"Hey, Alex," I say without taking my eyes off the sky. "Which star do you think you are?"

He gives me a weird look and then he smiles and looks up at the sky. "I don't know, do you see any slightly deformed stars up there?"

I laugh along with Alex but Zach scoffs. "Come on, don't say that," Zach says and then he remembers that he's surrounded by a bunch of guys who don't know about them being together and he presses his lips together in a thin line.

I could look over at Winston and check if he's looking at me but I know he is. He's sat next to Charlie and Diego now. I'm okay with that.

"Can you smell burning?" Scott asks and seconds later Justin is up on his feet, cursing and trying to get his slightly burn pizza slice off the grill with his bare hands.

We sit in silence for a moment after laughing at Justin for burning his hands. The joint is still being passed around, it's our second one because there's too many of us for one to be enough.

"Okay fine," Diego then says. "Dare."

I groan. Really? Does he really want to do this now?

Justin blows air through his lips. "Oh, fuck. I don't have any good dares," he says and he scratches his head. "Erm... Swap phones with someone here for the rest of the day."

Diego rolls his eyes and then he pulls his phone out of his pocket. He passes it to Charlie.

"A-a-a, someone that's not Charlie," Justin adds and I grin. This is interesting.

"But you didn't say that!" Diego protests.

"I'm saying it now."

Diego looks around the group for someone he could trust with his phone and then his eyes rest on me.

"No. No, come on man. Not me." I say as Diego stands up from his chair and makes his way towards me. "Pick someone else."

"What's up Monty?" Bryce asks. "Worried Diego's gonna find something on there? Your nudes maybe?"

I roll my eyes. "Why would I be worried? Diego's already seen them."

Diego laughs and the guys make ooh noises. I really don't wanna give my phone to Diego but it's not like he knows the password. So I turn my phone off and then I exchange it with Diego's.

Justin seems annoyed that I don't even glance at Diego's phone, I just put it to the side.

"Okay, so who's next?" Bryce asks as he looks around. "I think we should have some sort of system to pick, just to be fair." Bryce picks up an empty coke bottle from the floor and he places it on top of the table.

"I'll spin then," Diego says which is fair as he just had to do a dare. So he spins the bottle and it lands on Scott.

Scott sighs and he stops playing with my hair. "Alright, get on with it. Truth."

Scotty's choosing the easy option and Diego looks around the group. We wait for Diego to speak. 

"Which one of us do you think would give the worst blow job?" Diego asks him and Justin chuckles lightly to himself. Shut the fuck up.

Scott thinks for a second. He's the straightest one out of all of us here so it's weird that he's doing it. Then he looks down and smiles at me. "Monty. Definitely Monty. One hundred percent."

The guys agree with him and I glare at them as I start to sit up. "Hey! I don't understand why everyone's ganging up on me now." But it's quite funny that they can all agree on this. "Okay, my turn to spin."

So I get off of Scott and then I spin the bottle. I'm silently hoping that it'll land on Winston. But it lands on that Brad guy and it takes all the will power I have to not roll my eyes at him. 

"Truth. And make it a good one," he says. I glance back at Scott and he raises his eyebrows at me. Good to know I'm not the only one who hates this guy's guts.

So far, he's been able to piss me off by making faces at anything that was remotely gay. He wants me to make it good? I will.

"Okay, truth," I say and I move to sit back down next to Scott again. "Two of us you'd like to have a threesome with?" 

He looks fucking horrified and I just grin at him as the guys observe the scene. I have no doubt that they've also sensed that Brad wasn't completely on board with the whole guys sleeping with guys thing so this could do him some good.

"Dude... I'm not gay," he says and he looks around like he's waiting for us to confirm that we believe him. I refuse to believe that there's not even one of us that he finds even slightly attractive.

"That's not the question though, is it?" I ask and I accidentally catch Winston's eye as I lean forward to get the joint from Justin. He looks intrigued, maybe even a bit proud that I'm confronting Brad about his homophobic bullshit. One thing that I'm sure of, he's definitely turned on.

Brad looks disgusted and uncomfortable and Bryce laughs at him. "Okay, fine we'll give you a pass just this once," he says and I scoff. Since when does anyone get a pass? Since when does _Bryce_ let people pass? This is the second time today that Bryce let him pass on something.

"Are you two fucking?" I ask with a smug grin on my face and Brad immediately stands up from his chair.

"'You calling me a fag?" he asks and he points an accusatory finger at me. That's all I needed to know. They're definitely fucking. 

"No one's calling anyone a fag," Zach says calmly. Bryce looks uncomfortable, Brad is still frozen still and I'm still grinning because fuck, this is entertaining.

"Okay, fuck. I gotta stretch my legs," I say like nothin's wrong. I've been sitting in that same position for maybe an hour now and before that, I was sat in the chair for a while too. I need to move a little.

So I stand up from the couch and crack my neck. Brad stares me down like I'm trash, Zach nods like he thinks I'm doing the right thing. Yeah, just don't want to cause a fight or anything. I start walking through the group towards the forest.

"Wait, let me come with you," Scott calls after me and seconds later he's by my side. I think he just doesn't wanna be there right now. No one else joins. Not even Winston but he looks pissed off that I'm leaving with Scotty again. 

Scott and I walk down the path in silence. Fuck I wish I was walking with Winston instead. We could just disappear into the forest and do whatever we wanted. We wouldn't even have to use the bedroom, the guys wouldn't find out about us.

We enter the forest and it's even darker now with all the trees shielding us. It's a bit cooler too. I stop to lean against a tree, I don't want to go too far just in case I'll get lost. 

"I kissed William."

I don't think I heard it properly at first. Scott just mumbles it and then he turns his back to me and stars walking further into the forests. He did _what?_

I get away from the tree and I start to jog after him. "What?" Scott doesn't turn around. He puts his hands in his pockets and hangs his head low. "You did what?"

"I... Last night. After you left," Scott tells me and he stops in his tracks. He sighs and looks around like he can't meet my eye. He kissed William? _William?_ "I was in his room because he was showing me something and then I just kind of did it."

I stare at him unable to move. Scott and William? Do I even want to know what happened after?

I put my hands on Scott's shoulder like I'm trying to make sure that he's real and what he's telling me isn't some fabrication of my imagination.

"Did he... What happened?" I ask. Scott doesn't look happy so either he regrets doing whatever he did with William or William reacted like an asshole.

"I couldn't sleep all night after that. William basically kicked me out of his room and said-" Scott stops and he presses his lips together. Not good. But now it all makes sense, why Scott always switched up when he was around William. Why he always chose William over everything else.

"I was gonna tell you when we went to get the pizza," Scott says sadly. "But then I chickened out. I know you don't like William so..."

"So?" I ask. What did he expect me to do? I'm not gonna judge him. Well... "Yeah sure, I'm disappointed that my best friend has no taste and chooses to kiss an ugly fuck like William but-Hey!" Scott pushes my shoulder and we end up laughing.

It's okay. I don't ask Scott why he kissed William, if it was because he was horny or if he actually... likes William. It's hard to wrap my head around. Could someone really be attracted to William? I guess he does look a bit like Winston...

"Do you think it's safe to go back yet?" Scott asks me and he glances to where we came from. It's been what? Five minutes? That should be enough for them to cool down, right?

"I don't know, let's check," I say and we slowly start to head back to the cabin. "So what do you think of him? Brad."

Scott shrugs. "He's a bit... I don't know. As long as he keeps his mouth shut I think he's okay. What about you?"

Scott turns his head and I scoff. "Let's just say that I won't be exchanging numbers with him by the end of the trip."

I'll be doing everything I can to stay away from Brad. 

Scott and I exit the forest and we can see the guys in the distance. Oh no. Something happened.

"Fuck you, you motherfucker!" I hear Winston shout. Scott glances at me looking just as confused as I am. We start jogging down the path to get there before anyone can throw a punch. It doesn't look like anyone has yet.

It's a mess, it's a whole ass mess.

Winston is being held back by Diego, Brad is being held back by Zach and Justin, Charlie is stood in the middle trying to keep them away from each other. Alex and Bryce are nowhere to be seen.

"You fucking piece of shit fucker. I'll beat your motherfucking ass."

It's Winston that's doing all the cursing and shouting. Diego is having trouble holding him back. Who would have thought?

They don't seem to realise that Scott and I are back and we can see everything. They're too busy trying to keep Winston and Brad away from each other.

"Hey! What the hell's going on?" Scott shouts over but they pay no attention to us.

"Stay away from me you fucking dirty fag!" Bryce's friend shouts and Winston tries to pull out of Diego's grasp. He almost manages. Charlie moves out of the way so there's no one in between them now.

"Easy!" Diego shouts and he pulls Winston back into his chest.

"What the fuck is going on?" I shout and I finally get Zach's attention. He just shakes his head in a 'stay out of this sort of way'. But how can I stay out of this when this fucker is literally out here being all homophobic and shit? I'm not saying he has to be openly supportive, but he doesn't have to act like a dickhead about it either.

"This bitch is about to give everyone AIDS," Brad tells me and I just frown at him. What the hell is going-

Winston pulls away from Diego and he launches at Brad. He manages to get on top of Brad and pin him down to the ground. Zach and Justin moved away from Brad for some reason, I think they just didn't want to get in the middle of it.

Brad s caught off guard and Winston manages one punch before I kick into motion and get over there since no one else is attempting to separate them. 

I get behind Winston and I try to pick him up, wrapping my arms around his chest but he struggles and tries to get me off of him. I don't see what Brad's face looks like or what everyone else around us is doing, I just focus on getting Winston away from there.

His shirt lifts up and my hands land underneath it. It's distracting me so I hope it distracts him too. But he starts cursing again and telling me to get off. Fuck, how much longer can he struggle? He should be exhausted by now.

"Don't fucking fight me," I tell him but he's not listening to me. I pull him closer into my chest and I manage to lift him away from Brad. "Baby, stop struggling," I say into his ear and then _that_ fucking seems to work.

He stops struggling for just a second and that's enough to pick him up and throw him over my shoulder. I put one of my hands on his ass to stop his skirt from lifting up in case there's like come stains or- Who the fuck am I kidding, I just wanna touch his ass.

I try my best to avoid stares from the other guys as I walk away with Winston on my shoulder. But Zach catches my eye, he looks confused and kind of intrigued at the same time. I ignore it and focus on Winston struggling on my shoulder.

"Put me down! Okay? Put me down you fucker," Winston shouts at me and he tries to wiggle away of my grasps. Before he was angry and he was able to push Diego away but he must be tired already.

"Alright, alright. Give me a second," I tell him and he stops struggling. I walk us back over to the cars because that's the only place I can think of where we can get some privacy.

So I put him down on the ground between the two cars and he immediately hits my chest with his hands.

"Hey!" He does it again only harder now and I stagger backwards. "Hey hey hey hey hey!" I grab his wrists and pin his arms by his sides before he can start getting aggressive again. "What's up with you?"

He doesn't answer. He pulls away and starts walking away from the cars and down the path.

I sigh. I swear this kid...

"Winston!" He doesn't stop. "Winston!"

Looks like he wants to be chased. I don't run after him but I walk. He speeds up though and he's slowly getting away. I shake my head at his stubbornness and then I start jogging.

"Hey. Hey! Winston! Fuck, I know you can hear me," I shout after him but he doesn't stop. "Fucking stop, alright? I want to talk."

So he finally stops and he turns around. "What the fuck do you want?" he snaps at me and I'm taken aback. I've never seen him like this, but he's angry and it's understandable to give him a pass.

"What are you doing?" I ask him and I stop in front of him. 

"I'm going home," he says and he tries to walk past me but I block him with my shoulder.

"How's your hand?" I've seen the punch and I've seen how he flinched straight after. It must have hurt.

He blinks and stares at me. "My hand? Fuck, you don't have to come here and-"

"Shut you and show me your fucking hand," I cut him off and I take his hand in mine. His knuckles are red and I gently run my thumb over them. "Does it hurt?"

He seems to have calmed down slightly. "Just a little." he tells me and I trace his knuckles with my finger as if I could make the pain go away through one touch. I would if I could. 

"You called me baby," Winston says and I look up and met his eyes. His cheeks are slightly pink and he's smiling. What does he want me to say?

"Yeah, I... I just thought it would distract you," I tell him. I wouldn't say that it distracted him but it certainly caught him off guard and it made it easier for me to pick him up. 

Winston nods and he stops smiling. It looks like he's remembering what he needed distracting from.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Obviously I know how the fight ended and it doesn't take a genius to figure out what it was about but how did it start?

Winston shakes his head and he slowly starts to walk back down the path. "Walk with me?" It's not a question even though it sounds like one. I walk by his side in silence for a moment. I don't even care where we're going, I don't think he knows either. He just wants to get away from all of them.

"He said that I'd probably like it if he raped me," Winston then tells me out of nowhere and I stop in my tracks. He said _what?_ "But he won't 'cos I'll give him AIDS or some shit."

Winston tries to laugh but it's not even funny, he looks upset and I notice that his hands are trembling. I don't want that fucker sleeping anywhere near Winston. In fact, I don't want him anywhere near any of us.

I'm too shocked to say anything or even move to touch his trembling hands. Winston licks his lips and he looks around. "He called me dirty," he says quietly and he hangs his head. Then I hear him sigh and he looks back up looking slightly more pissed. "I'm not fucking dirty, okay? I'm not. I'm clean, I swear I am. Just because I fuck guys-"

"I know," I interrupt him and then I take a step closer to him. "I know." 

He takes a deep breath in and seems to relax. "You don't think I'm dirty?" Dirty? What's that even supposed to mean? I'd laugh if he didn't look so upset about it.

I shake my head. "You're not dirty, okay?" 

He sighs and then he starts to grin. "You know... I think I'd understand better if you added 'baby' at the end of that sentence."

My eyebrows twitch upwards and I can't stop myself from grinning. "You're pushing it," I tell him but he just laughs and takes a step closer. He wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me into a hug. 

I should hug him back, right? So I wrap my arms around his lower back and he nuzzles his nose into my neck. I smile when he sighs softly.

"Say it," he says and I roll my eyes. But it's just one word and if it makes him happy then why not?

"You're not dirty... Baby," I say and he chuckles softly. I was thinking he'd let go of me by now but he's still holding onto me, gripping tightly to my shoulders like he's scared I'm gonna leave. 

I'm staying right where I am.

***

Zach told me what happened. 

After I walked Winston back to the cabin and argued with Bryce that I don't want Brad anywhere near us (he's sleeping in the car), Zach took me outside to 'talk' and I knew what that meant.

He told me exactly what happened. That it all started because Winston was defending me. After I left, Brad started saying some faggy things about me and Scott. So Winston jumped to my -or our- defence which lead to a big argument about who's a fag and who isn't. Bryce and Alex left to go to the bathroom but really they wanted to get away from the mess.

The fight broke out because, like Winston said, Brad told him that he'd enjoy getting raped. Just thinking about him saying that makes me want to go over to the car and beat the life out of the motherfucker.

"You, erm, you did a good job getting Winston away from Brad," Zach tells me. We're sat on the couch outside by ourselves. It's late but we shouldn't be in bed yet. But we are, it was too awkward for the guys to just continue sitting here and pretend that nothing happened.

"Mhm," I say absentmindedly. I'm staring up at the sky. Wondering which star I am and which one Winston is. This would be much easier if I wasn't this high.

"You like him," Zach states like it's a fact. I turn my head.

"And you like Alex," I say almost defensively. I expect Zach to deny it but he just smiles.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you know about that," he says. How- Right. Alex probably told him that I worked it out from the necklace.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone," I feel the need to say and I wait for Zach's reaction. Isn't he even a little bit freaked out that people will know?

He just nods. "And obviously I won't tell anyone about Winston."

"There's nothing to tell," I assure him. Like him? I mean sure, we're friends. And I helped get him off once. That's all.

"Alright," Zach tells me and he pats me on the knee as he stands up. "You going inside yet?"

I shake my head and I lean back again as Zach towers over me. "Just gonna... Sit here for a moment." Think about shit in silence and hopefully have enough self-restraint to not go and kill Brad.

"Okay then," Zach says and he starts to walk off. "Night."

"Night."

I think I'm just gonna wait here until Winston is asleep. I don't trust myself to go back there while he's awake. I might do something stupid like kiss him goodnight. And we don't do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you though? thank you for reading :)


	10. Just Another Summer

**Chapter Ten**

I should have stayed asleep but I just needed to piss so bad. Except that the bathroom is taken.

"Fuck, Zach! If you don't get out of here in the next five seconds I'm fucking turning the hot water off!" Justin bangs on the door with his fist and I hear splashing inside the bathroom. 

"How long has he been in there?" I ask and Justin stops for just a second to turn to me.

"Like fucking five hours," he exaggerates and shakes his head. He turns back to the door. "Fuck, Zach! Just let me in so I can fucking piss for fuck's sake!"

Looks like I won't be getting in the bathroom anytime soon. I'm about to head outside so I can piss in the bushes when I notice that Scotty's in the kitchen. 

He's been acting normal even after he told me about the kiss he had with William but I still think he's just a little embarrassed. It would be good to talk to him.

"Hey," I say and he turns around from the sink. He's washing his teeth, toothpaste all around his mouth and all. He just gives me a small wave because he can't speak with the toothbrush in his mouth. Maybe we should get Charlie to make a bathroom schedule for all of us or something.

I wait by the counter as Scott continues to brush his teeth and rinsing his mouth with the tap water. Something gets my attention. I think I hear... The bed squeaking? What the fuck? Already?

I look through the kitchen door back towards the living room, Alex isn't there but Zach is in the bathroom so it can't be them, Bryce is gone too and Brad is sleeping in the car...

"Is someone in the bedroom?" I ask Scott and he raises his eyebrows after spitting into the sink.

"Mhm," he says and he rinses his toothbrush. "Charlie and Diego."

Huh. Well, that's ticked off my list. I knew they couldn't keep their hands away from each other. I wonder who's next.

Scott leans with his back against the counter and he sighs. "Listen... What I said about William, could you maybe-"

"I'm not gonna tell anyone," I interrupt him. I'm not stupid, I know not to tell anyone. 

"Tell anyone what?" Zach enters the kitchen, a towel wrapped around his hips and his hair dripping wet. He looks at me and then at Scott.

I sigh. "That you and Alex-"

"Oh, right. Right, of course," Zach says and he rolls his eyes. He gets it, he has his secrets and Scott has his. He walks past me and to the fridge. "What's for breakfast?"

Scott looks at me and then raises his eyebrows. "So we have..." he looks around the kitchen at the leftover food mess from last night. "I think someone needs to go to the shop."

"Not it!"

"Not it!"

"Fuck you guys," I groan as they grin at me. I'm not going anywhere this early in the morning but I also don't wanna starve. Some time away could do me good, I don't wanna see Brad's face this early in the morning. I still need to piss, hopefully, Justin doesn't take too long.

"Take Winston with you, might be less lonely!" Zach shouts after me as I walk back to wait outside the bathroom. I show him the middle finger when I turn around. Scott doesn't look bothered, but he can't know. Can he?

***

"Did you even brush your hair today?" Winston asks and he starts running his fingers through my hair in a poor attempt to sort my hair out. 

We finished shopping in record time and now we're parked in the middle of nowhere where no one can see us. We're in Zach's car, the groceries are in the trunk, I'm sat in the driver's seat and Winston is straddling me. His body is pressed against mine because there's really no space here.

I just let him play with my hair as I look up at him. My hands are touching the back of his thighs but he's wearing shorts and it's just... 

"I preferred you in a skirt," I tell him and he grins, still running his fingers through my hair. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He leans down and starts kissing my neck as I rub his back. He seems so tiny in my arms. And just a few hours ago I was struggling to pull him away from a fight.

"How's your hand?" I ask him and I move my hands to his hips so he can lower himself down to sit on my lap.

He pulls away and just smiles at me. "Better," he says and he runs his finger along my lips. I'm just counting the minutes until we have to be back but Winston doesn't really care. 

He looks down and then he starts laughing but his finger still doesn't leave my lips. "Fuck, I can feel how hard you are."

I roll my eyes. Is he surprised? He's been grinding on me ever since we stopped the car and I'm not even gonna talk about what his hand was doing while I was still driving. 

"Right back at you," I tell him and he leans in again to start kissing my neck. His lips gently press against my neck and I tilt my head back to give him more access.

He moves to suck on my neck, just below my ear and I bite my bottom lip to stop a groan from escaping. He keeps going sucking and biting on my neck until I'm sure he leaves marks. What are the guy gonna think?

He slides down a little so that his hands can reach my shorts and he starts to tug them down. No belt to unbuckle. 

"I'm not-I'm not fucking you in the car," I tell him and he grazes his lips against my ear. 

"Okay," he says and he starts rocking his hips against mine. _Fuck._ Maybe I could fuck him in the car? But Winston's got a different idea.

"Let me blow you?" he asks and he pulls away and kisses me on the lips while his finger slowly strokes my jawline. I think we've established that I can't say no to him long ago.

"Okay," I say once he pulls away and rests his forehead against mine. So he gets off of me and moves to the passenger's seat, there's really not that much room in this car. 

He tugs my shorts and boxers down to my knees and I help him by raising my hips. He stops and stares at my cock for a couple of seconds. Oh right, he hasn't seen it before.

So I let him just get familiar with it as he wraps his hand around it and starts stroking me slowly. His hands are smaller than mine but they're not small. His hand feels good.

I breathe in sharply when he squeezes around the tip and then brushes his thumb over the head several times. Fuck, I'm trying so fucking hard not to moan. 

He shifts in the seat to try to get comfortable and then he leans down until his lips are touching just the tip. I try to raise my hips to put my cock in his mouth but he holds me down by my hip and he just stays there, his lips hovering over my cock.

He then places a kiss on the head and spits so that saliva runs down my dick. I groan and he smiles to himself like that was the reaction he was waiting for. He wraps his lips around the head and sucks for a couple of seconds, his cheeks hallows. But then he decides to stop teasing and he opens his mouth and lowers his mouth down. 

I wrap my fingers up in his hair to try to control myself and not make any sound. But it's hard especially when he keeps flicking his tongue. He slowly goes deeper and deeper until I feel my cock hit the back of his throat. This time I can't stop myself from groaning.

He swallows around me, the muscles squeezing tight for just a second and I throw my head back and let out a breathy moan that I didn't even know I could make. 

He pulls away and then leans back down again. He hallows his cheeks and starts sucking as he bobs his head up and down. He moves fast and hard and I suddenly understand why Justin was so lost for words.

He pulls away, his chin and lips are wet with saliva and he wipes it off with the back of his hand. When he leans back down again, I tug at his hair and pull his mouth down. I start fucking his mouth, pulling his head up and down and thrusting my hips upwards at the same time.

He moans against my cock sending vibrations through my body and up my spine. "Fuck, baby, You're so good," I tell him and I notice that he's rolling his hips, grinding against the seat of the car. I hadn't even thought about how hard he must be.

I hold his head down and I start thrusting into his mouth hard and fast. I expect him to maybe gag a little but he breaths through it even though his eyes start watering. I keep on hitting the back of his throat and he swallows around me now and again.

I know I'm close, my cock starts to twitch and I'm biting down on my lip even though the groans just keep on coming out by themself. He moves his head back up and he starts sucking just on the tip as his hand jerks me off. I hiss and I mumble words that mean nothing to either of us, they don't even sound like words.

It's so fucking messy, his drool and my precome all mixed and sliding down my cock and covering his hand. 

"Wi-Wi..." I manage to say before I feel myself coming into his mouth. He only swallows the first few drops and then he pulls back and lets my come cover his lips and chin. Fuck he looks so perfect like this.

Winston is breathing heavily by the time I'm done. I'm just trying to come down from what just happened so I sit there with my head titled back. Winston eventually pulls my boxers and shorts back up and then he moves back into my lap. He's so fucking hard I don't even know how he's coping.

I loosen the waistband of his short and I stick my hand in his boxers. I've done it once before, I'm a bit more familiar with it. I hope he doesn't try to be difficult this time too, I think he's too horny to even think about it.

He's already a bit slick with the precome dripping from the tip and it's easier to stroke him. I don't have the patience to tease him, I just move my hand up and down, squeezing around the head.

He can't do much, he just grinds against me and whines and moans. It's nice seeing him all helpless like this especially when I'm used to seeing him cocky and flirt almost all day long.

He buries his face into my neck and I silently pray that he won't bite me again. The bite from last night is still very painful. 

"Come on Winn, come for me," I say as I continue to jerk him off. He grinds against me even harder and fuck, he's gonna make such a mess everywhere. 

"Fuck, you're so hot," he whispers into my neck leaving tingles all around my body. I run my thumb over the tip of his cock and his hips jerk violently. He's so far gone that it's funny.

He eventually comes with a whine and I shut him up by pulling his head closer to mine and kissing him. He comes all over my hand but I wipe it on his shorts while he's distracted by kissing me.

Then he groans in annoyance and pulls away. "I'm gonna have no clean clothes left by the end of the weekend," he tells me and he lays his head on my shoulder and starts playing with the collar of my shirt.

"Hmm, I'll let you borrow some of mine," I say not really sure if I mean it or if I'm just joking.

We stay like that for a few minutes, his head on my shoulder, my hands rubbing up and down his back and it feels wrong to remind him that we should be getting back now.

"Winn," Winston then says softly and I turn my head to look at him. "That's what you called me."

I raise an eyebrow. "No, I didn't." His brain must be still scrambled from coming so hard and he's making stuff up.

But he grins. "You did," he says triumphantly. And then he kisses me on the cheek. "Careful Monty, someone might think you're going soft."

I roll my eyes at him and then start to push him off my lap and back to his seat. Going soft? Yeah right.

He laughs when he slumps down onto his seat. "You are _so_ getting soft."

I glare at him for a second as I reach for the key in the engine. "If you tell anyone..."

Winston smiles. "No. I'm keeping this Monty all to myself," he says and I look away. We really should be getting back.

***

Zach wanted to go hiking but we all told him that that was never going to happen. We're all here to relax, not to climb mountains.

But we still have a full day ahead of us and we need to decide what we want to do.

We eat breakfast outside, Zach and Scotty made pancakes together because they're pretty much the only ones who are decent at cooking.

Well. I can cook. My mom and my dad both made sure Estela and I knew how to make some decent meals and once in a while I treat myself and cook in my barn. But the guys don't have to know that, otherwise I'd be cooking for them all the damn time.

We're all sat outside. I'm sat with Justin and Scott, Charlie and Diego are sat close by but they're just minding their own business. They've already been teased about using the bedroom.

"Scotty, open up," Justin says. He's laying down on the right side of me and I'm in the middle of the two idiots but he sits up and leans across from me to hold a half-eaten pancake out to Scott.

Scott frowns. "What? Don't you like it?"

"No! I do, of course, I do," Justin says quickly because we all know how upset Scott gets when his cooking is insulted. "I can't eat anymore and I don't want it to go to waste. Would you do the honours?"

I sigh and I move away from them as Justin starts feeding Scott his pancake pushing his fingers into Scott's mouth and all. Disgusting.

Zach, Bryce and Winston are sat together and I move closer to them but not close enough to have to participate in their conversation.

Brad is sat by himself on the couch. No one wants to go near him and I want to laugh just seeing him sat there by himself like the loser he is.

But there's still someone missing.

"Hey... Where's Alex?" I ask and I look around the group. He's nowhere to be seen. My eyes rest on Zach because he should know where his boyfriend is. But he shrugs.

None of them know where Alex could be.

"Alex?" Justin shouts over to me and I nod. "He said he was going for a walk or something a while ago."

A while ago? I hope the kid didn't get lost. He might be annoying but I don't want him going anywhere.

I stand up and Winston looks like he might consider offering to go with me but I shake my head and he looks down at his food again.

After Justin points me in the direction that Alex went, I start walking down the path that I chased Winston down yesterday.

I find Alex sitting with his back against a tree, he walked all the way to the top of the hill and he doesn't even realize that I've joined him.

"Why'd you bail on us?" I shout over to him. He turns his head and then rolls his eyes not even bothering to answer.

So I walk over and sit down next to him. He still doesn't move.

Then he sighs. "What do you want?"

I shrug. "Just checking up on you. Like friends do," I tell him and he scoffs at the word 'friends'. I just really needed a break from all of them. From Brad, from Scott and Justin feeding each other and from Winston giving me the look every five seconds. I can't even remember what life was like back when I wasn't thinking about fucking him all the time.

"Is Zach still having breakfast with that fucking Winston kid?" Alex then asks me and he raises his eyebrows.

I frown. "Hey, watch your fucking mouth. Winston's cool."

"Yeah. Zach certainly seems to think so too," Alex says and he rolls his eyes again. He sounds... Jealous.

I don't reply for a second, I just study his face. "Zach and Winston? Really?" Winston is mine and Zach is his, what is he acting like a child for?

Alex shrugs like he doesn't know what to believe any more. "You heard him yesterday, right?" Alex turns to me and presses his lips together. "'You have nice legs'," he imitates Zach in a deep voice and I laugh.

"Can you blame him? Winston does have nice legs," I say and I smile to myself. Alex is too busy being jealous to notice.

"Not you too, what's so special about that guy, I don't see it." Alex crosses his arms over his chest and he frowns as he stares straight ahead. I don't know whether I should defend Winston or reassure Alex that he's got nothing to worry about. But it's just Alex's jealousy speaking.

I sit back and stretch my legs. "You're crazy if you think Zach would pick Winston over you," I lie to him. I think anyone would pick Winston over Alex but for some reason, Zach seems to like the skinny blonde kid. "Get the fuck up and go back out there, we all miss you, man. Stop being such a baby."

Baby. Winston. Fuck, he ruined the word for me forever.

Alex looks a bit sceptical but then he sighs and starts to stand up. "Thanks," he says quietly and he looks embarrassed just saying it. I stand up to and just nod. Neither of us is used to being nice to each other.

***

After breakfast, we separate into three groups because we can't agree on what we want to do.

Bryce heard that there's a party or something in the bar nearby so he took Brad and they went together. I think Bryce just wanted to get Brad away from us so he can have some fun.

Zach managed to convince some of the guys to go hiking with him. He took Alex, Scott and Justin and they set off. They won't be back until late which is when we have something planned. 

I'm stuck with Winston, Diego and Charlie. We're not really doing anything. We just went into the forest where we found a clearing and we're having some kind of picnic there.

Charlie packed some food into his backpack but we're not eating. It's warm and nice and all I want to do is just fall asleep.

We're laying down on the grass in silence, Diego and Charlie are cuddling up to one another and sooner or later one of them is going to fall asleep.

Winston is laying next to me but we're not touching. He keeps on messing around with that damn camera of his and I know he's taken some pictures of me already while I was trying to sleep.

"What are you doing?" I ask sleepily and I turn on my side. He's sitting up now, clicking away at his camera.

"I just have to... The lighting here is..." He's too focused on the camera to even reply to me properly.

He's wearing clean shorts now. My shorts. I don't even know when he took them out of my bag and when he had the time to get changed. But it looks good on him, a bit loose on the waistband but he still looks good.

I glance over at Diego and Charlie, Charlie has his leg draped over Diego's hip and it looks like they're asleep. So I sit up and I grab Winston's hips and pull him towards me.

He squeals and tells me to watch the camera but he's laughing. I was worried he'd wake the love birds up but they don't even stir.

"So what now?" He asks once I sit him between my legs and he's got his back to me.

I shrug. "Don't know. Haven't really thought that far ahead." Just wanted to have him closer to me, that was the objective.

He puts his camera to the side and then he turns his body and sits in my lap so that his legs are wrapped around my hips. Diego and Charlie better stay asleep.

He puts his hands on my chest and slowly pushes me back until I'm laying down on the ground and he's still sat on top of me. He smiles down at me.

"When this whole thing is over... and we're back at home..." Winston says slowly and I let my hands travel to his lower back. "You're not gonna start ignoring me, are you?"

Ignoring him? I raise an eyebrow. I couldn't ignore him even if I wanted to, he'd probably walk all the way to my house and beg until I let him inside.

"No you dummy, I'm not gonna ignore you," I tell him and then he moves away from me and lays down next to me. "Why'd you do that for?"

He smiles innocently. "Do you want to get hard again?" Yeah, okay he's got a point. But truth be told I'm already half-hard and if I tell him, will he blow me again?

Instead, he puts his head on my chest and picks one of my hands up with his. He starts to play with my fingers, moving them slowly and rubbing the tips of them with his own. For a second he looks sad and I get worried.

"You know... The first time I saw you at that bonfire, I didn't really pay much attention to you," he tells me, his eyes still fixed on my fingers. "I thought you were all dickhead friends of Will and this was going to be the worst summer ever."

Right. This is just a summer. And then he goes back home to the city. I need to remember that.

"Friends of William?" I ask with a raised eyebrow pretending to be insulted. Winston laughs softly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he says and he interlaces his fingers with mine. Our hands stay like that as he buries his hair further into my neck. It tickles.

Winston sighs. "I don't think I always wanted you," he says and I frown not really sure what he means. "Obviously I thought you were attractive but I just thought you were straight. And then I started hanging out with you and..."

And what? I seemed gay? Obviously I'm straight, but I'm down to fuck guys too. I wait for him to finish his sentence and Charlie groans softly in his sleep.

"And?"

Winston hesitates for a second. "And I just thought you were... Different than anyone I've ever met," he says and he squeezes my hand. "You weren't treating me like William's little brother like Scott does for example and you weren't comparing me to William."

What's so different about that? Winston is his own person, he doesn't need to be compared to his shitty brother.

"And I wanted to be your friend so bad, I was just finding the smallest of excuses to hang out with you," Winston continues and he sounds a bit embarrassed to admit it.

"My friend, huh?" I ask him. All of that flirting and his goal was to be my friend.

He laughs and he pulls away to lay his head next to mine. He continues to hold my hand. "Yeah, friends. I thought we, you know, passed that milestone and it was time to... You just seemed so casual about guys fucking. But at the bonfire, you were so pissed off whenever someone said anything about gay guys."

I frown. Yeah, fucking guys and being a fag are two completely different things. I don't want a relationship with him, I just wanna fuck him.

"Yeah... 'cos I'm not gay," I remind him and I laugh at how obvious it is. He shouldn't need reminding.

He blinks a few times and his eyebrows furrow. "Right... Obviously," he says and then he starts to sit up. He's not mad at me, is he?

I run my hand down his back and he shivers. He looks like he was contemplating standing up but then he lays back down with me and I wrap my arms around him.

I pull him closer into my chest and he smiles. "We're gonna fall asleep," he tells me and he turns his body so that's he's laying on top of me. Then he moves up and kisses my jawline.

"We're not gonna fall asleep," I say and I ruffle his hair. He grins and then he rests his head on my shoulder so that his lips are pressed against my neck.

We're so gonna fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it, thank you for reading :)


	11. Find Me

**Chapter Eleven**

We fell asleep.

We didn't even mean to, we just lay there listening to each others breathing and then we seemed to doze off.

We only woke up because Charlie did and he woke the rest of us up.

"Fuck, we were meant to be back at the cabin like half an hour ago," he panics and he starts to pack the blanket he and Diego were laying on back into his backpack.

They don't seem to care that Winston's head is on my chest and we fell asleep like that. What Charlie does care about, however, is that neither of us is moving.

Diego picks up his boyfriend's backpack and throws it over his shoulder but Winn buries his head into my chest and he sighs quietly.

" _Guys_ ," Charlie groans. "Move _it_!"

Winston still doesn't seem to want to move and I have to move my shoulder to get his head off. He _still_ doesn't move and he puts his hand on my chest to stop me from trying to throw him off of me. 

"Fine, you guys stay here," Charlie says clearly annoyed with us. "But we're leaving." Diego shoots us one last glance and then he and Charlie start walking back to the cabin.

I'd join them but Winston is holding me down with his fat head.

"Winston, move," I say because I'd rather give him a warning before pushing him away from me.

I hear him laugh to himself. "That's not my name," he says childishly.

I groan to myself. He's really taking the piss now. "Alright, you can stay here then," I say and I start to shift away from him.

He sighs and _finally_ moves his head away. "You're no fun," he complains and sits up. He watches me brush myself down and I'm not sure what he's waiting for until he lifts his arms showing me that he wants to be picked up.

"God, you're such a brat," I say to myself but I go over there and I lift him to his feet. I'm not gonna carry him though.

"Yeah? And what you gonna do about it big boy?" he asks me and I freeze with my hands on his hips.

Big boy? Fuck, he's...

He waits for my response, his grin growing wider and wider with every second that passes. I _do_ try to respond but when I open my mouth, no words come out.

I clear my throat. "We have to get back to the cabin," I tell him and I pull myself away from him.

I start running then, hoping to get away from Winston and surround myself with people again. Diego and Charlie are taking it slow even though we're already late and we manage to catch up to them.

"Finally, thought you guys were gonna sleep there for tonight," Diego teases us and I nudge him with my elbow. Winston doesn't seem to mind and he walks by Charlie's side.

Diego and I get into a conversation about our plans for tonight. A game of hide and seek but in total darkness. Alex got completely lost last time and it took us two hours to find him. We laugh together just talking about it.

"Monty?" Winston then says in this whiny voice. He keeps dropping the 't' when he says my name and my heart skips a beat every time he goes.

"Yeah?" I ask uncertainly because nothing good ever comes out from him using that voice with me. I'm worried about what he's gonna try to pull this time, especially in front of Charlie and Diego.

"I think my legs are tired..." he says and I can hear the smirk in his voice. Diego chuckles like he understands what Winston is trying to get me to do. I'm not doing it.

"No. No," I say sternly as Winston joins my side. "I'm not carrying you."

"Why not?" Winston asks with a giant grin on his face. "Give me one good reason. Just one." Apparently now I need a reason for not wanting to carry him. I'm struggling to come up with one. 

Charlie and Diego move away from us and I hear them murmuring to each other as they walk on. I don't think they're talking about us but it's a good excuse.

I nod towards Charlie and Diego and Winston's eyes rest on them for a couple of seconds.

"Hey, guys?" he calls over and I mentally facepalm myself. I should have known better than to assume Winston has a filter.

"Yeah?" Diego calls over and he stops his conversation with Charlie.

"Would you mind if Monty carried me back to the cabin?" he asks and I frown. All the way back to the cabin? My back is gonna be broken by the time we get there.

Diego and Charlie laugh completely oblivious to my suffering and I keep my head down as I walk.

"Not at all, go ahead man," Diego says and Winston sends a proud grin my way.

"Not happening," I tell Winston firmly but he pouts. "Seriously, my back is already hurting." Another meaningless excuse.

But Winston has a solution for everything. "I could give you a back rub later if you like," he suggests and I'm thinking it's not just a back rub that he's offering by the sound of his voice.

I eventually give in and I have to deal with Winston on my back. It's much harder to walk but I don't want him to know that so I keep walking at the same pace.

When we exit the forest and approach the cabin, I hear excited shouts and laughter and my mind immediately wanders back to last night when we walked in to witness a fight between Brad and Winn.

I put Winston down as we get closer and he seems okay with it. All of the guys are here now, all laughing except for two of them.

"Come on guys, it was one blowjob, it doesn't count," Bryce argues and I look around trying to figure out what's going on without actually asking.

"It _does_ count," Scott says teasingly and I notice that Justin is going redder by the minute.

Wait. Did they...?

"Charlie, does giving another guy a blow job _in the bedroom_ count as sleeping together?" 

The thing with the bets is that we haven't really set any rules on what counts as sleeping together.

Justin and Bryce started acting flirty with each other while we were placing our bets but not as much as they do every year so I had just assumed that they'd given up on their annual deal to try to trick us into placing a bet. Fuck, I can't believe I didn't bet on them.

In the end, we have a vote and decide that giving a blow job _in the bedroom_ does, indeed, count as having sex. Maybe I should ask them if ones in the car count as well.

But I would never, I don't want to expose myself and Winston even if they're already starting to suspect shit.

Winn is standing behind me but not too close as Zach explains what we're going to be doing. The rules are simple, there are no rules. Some of us must seek and the rest hide, what happens after is up to you.

"So how are we choosing who seeks?" Charlie asks because he's never done it before. 

Zach is about to ask if anyone wants to but I interrupt him. "I'll do it," I say and Zach nods. "Anyone else?" No one says anything. "Come on guys, we need two more." I'm not doing it alone.

"I'll do it too," Zach then decides when no one else speaks up. Me and Zach together? This could be easier than I thought. "So if you guys wanna-"

"Wait, how do you win?" Winston interrupts and Zach and I both grin. 

"Who said anything about winning?" I turn to Winn and I raise my eyebrows. He looks confused. He has no idea what he's signed up for. His lips part but he says nothing.

"We've got until eleven," Zach tells us. "And then we're gonna meet up back here." 

The thing is, this game isn't about hide and seek. We all just run around in complete darkness like idiots and hope not to bump into anyone because if you do... 

Zach and I give them five minutes to hide and we sit on the couch together waiting for the five minutes to pass.

"What did you say to Alex?" Zach then asks me and for a minute I forget about my earlier conversation with Alex. 

"Why?" I ask. I can't tell if Zach is pleased or angry with me so I don't know whether I should take credit or deny ever saying anything to Alex.

Zach laughs and shakes his head. "You know why. Just a few hours ago he was pissed at me for complimenting your boyfriend and now-"

"He's not my boyfriend," I interrupt Zach and my heart thuds at the word. We just fuck around with each other. We're friends.

Zach nods. "And now... While we were hiking he was back to being... Alex," Zach says and he starts smiling to himself.

Back to being Alex? So... back to being annoying? God, what have I done? But Zach seems to enjoy this Alex that I 'created' for him. 

"Zachy?" I ask him and he looks up. "What happens... What are you guys gonna do when the summer's over?" Zach will obviously go back to the city and Alex... I don't know what Alex wants to do, I don't know him well enough.

"We've got plans," Zach says simply and I stare at him. Plans? They've already talked about the future? 

"Plans?"

"Plans."

He won't give me any details but I feel like Zach is planing on taking Alex back to the city with him. Don't know how that will work out for them but alright.

"If you're worrying about Wi-"

"I'm not," I say before Zach can continue. We've known each other for a week, I'll have fun with him and then he goes back to the city and I continue my life as before. I'm not including him in my plans for the future.

Luckily for me, Zach says that five minutes have passed and we should start looking around for the guys. So we stand up and start heading towards the forest where we saw everyone run off to.

"Hey, no cheating!" Zach reminds me meaning no light. We're really doing this in complete darkness.

"You're the one with the phone in your hand," I remind him and he laughs. I've got my phone in my pocket but I don't think Zach has noticed. And if he has, he doesn't say it.

Then we split up and I start looking for no one in particular.

***

I walk around for maybe five minutes and I see no one. Not a soul but I do hear giggling and footsteps behind me. Whoever it is, must be a little behind because I can't see him when I turn around to check. 

I keep walking, trying my best to convince myself that I don't need to use the flashlight on my phone to check who's walking behind me. I think I can already tell who it is.

I stop for just a second which is a mistake. Moments later, someone launches at me and pins me to the ground.

Winston laughs as I try to throw him off of me. I knew he couldn't stay hidden for long. He straddles me and presses his hands into my hips.

"Oh no, you caught me!" he says trying to sound scared but he can't wipe the grin off his face. "So what now?" He raises his eyebrows at me playfully and I roll my eyes. 

"That's not how this- You didn't even try to hide," I tell him and he rolls his hips making my hips twitch slightly. I don't think he cares much about this game, he's got a game of his own.

"Yeah?" he asks. He moves his hands up to my chest and he leans forward so that his lips graze past my ear. The things he does to me... "What are you gonna do? Punish me?"

Technically there are no rules in this game so you can't really break them. But if Winston is begging to be punished, then who am I to say no?

I manage to flip us over and press him down into the ground. I think he expected his words to throw me off a little and they did, just not for long. 

He wraps his legs around my hips and crosses them at the ankles so that he can push me closer to him. I'm not really sure where this is gonna go, if he's just teasing me again or if he actually wants me to fuck him right here next to a tree.

I place one hand next to his head to balance myself and then I lean down to kiss him. He strokes my jawline with his thumb while I kiss him slowly and I grind my body against his. 

He smiles against my lips. "You really wanna do this? Here?" He sounds amused like he's not really sure if I'm just messing with him. I kiss him again and he lets out a soft moan when I brush my hardening cock against him.

"When's the last time someone fucked you?" I ask him and I keep moving in slow circular motions. His eyes roll into the back of his head. He doesn't reply, he just starts rolling his lips. "Hmm?"

He groans softly as I feel his cock push against the fabric of the shorts he borrowed from me. "I don't know... A while ago," he says and I swallow hard. A while ago? Fuck, he must be tight.

I tug his boxers down along with his shorts and he raises his hips to help me. I may not be gay but I think I know enough to be able to have sex with a guy. I know I need to prep him beforehand not to hurt him and so that's what I start doing.

I don't like him looking at me, it makes me nervous so I lean back in and kiss him again. My hand squeezes his ass and then I try to locate his hole. He grunts when I press the tip of my middle finger against the rim and then he tries to move to get my finger inside.

"No no no no no," I say quietly and I hold him down with my hips. I keep my lips close to his and I tut at him. "We're doing this my way." I'll finger him when I want to finger him and I'll fuck him when I want to fuck him.

He just gives me a shaky nod and I press my finger inside going in knuckle deep with no hesitation. He lets out a dirty loud moan that would put porn stars to shame. I give him a second just to get used to it and then I move it back out.

I continue fingering him and shortly after I add another finger. He whimpers and moans at the stretch and his sinks his nails into my shoulders. I kiss him again just to muffle the sound and I'm really glad that no one seems to be coming here anytime soon. I wouldn't mind them walking by just to show them that Winston belongs to me and they should stay the fuck away.

"Another one?" I ask as I scissor my fingers inside of him and he nods before pulling me back in to kiss him again.

"Please," he says breathlessly and then he kisses me hard. I groan quietly and I put another finger inside of him. Three should be enough, right?

I finger him slowly and he rolls his hips trying to get as much of me as possible. Then he stops just for a second and he reaches for the shorts that he took off not so long ago. He fumbles around in the pocket and takes out a condom and a small bottle of lube. This guy, I swear... It seems like he's already been prepared for this.

I take my fingers out of him and I pull away from him. I take the condom wrapper and I open it before taking the rubber out of the foil. He waits and I roll the latex down my cock. Fuck, it might be too small. It feels so fucking tight and just not right.

"You okay?" Winston asks me when he sees me hesitate. He tries to sit up but I hold him down with my hands.

"Yeah, just..." I move my hand up and down my cock a few times just to test it out. Definitely too fucking tight. And then, if it wasn't bad enough, the condom splits at the side from the pressure and I burst out laughing. Winston stares at me with wide eyes. "The condom just fucking ripped," I tell him and he raises an eyebrow.

"Seriously?" he asks and he sits up to see. I take it off my cock before it can rip any further and I hold it up to show it to Winn. "Fuck..."

I continue laughing and my cocks starts to soften. Guess we're not fucking after all. 

"What? Did you get them in your size or something?" I tease him. He pulls his shorts ad boxers up and then hits me on the shoulder. I still can't stop laughing.

"Fuck you," he says but then he starts grinning too. He sighs and takes the broken condom out of my hand before shoving it in his pocket. "You're getting the condoms next time."

I look down and I can see that he's still hard. I'm already getting soft and I don't know if I'll be able to get hard again after that. So I pull my shorts back up and I gesture to Winston. "Do you want me to like..."

He shakes his head. "Nah, I'll... It's alright." He seems a bit annoyed that the condom cock-blocked him and he runs his hands up and down his face. "Shouldn't you be looking for the other guys?"

Right. I forgot we were in the middle of a game. But I don't really want to look for them, who knows what I might walk in on.

"I did catch you though, right?" I say and Winston grins. 

"I wouldn't say you 'caught' me," he says and I roll my eyes. Yes, technically he jumped on my back and floored me but I still think that I caught him. "Okay fine, you caught me. Happy?"

He crawls over to me and the kisses me again. Not hard like he did a moment ago but soft this time. He puts his hands on my thighs and then he pulls away. "So what do I do now that I've been caught?"

I'd love to just stay here with him but I've got people to find, places to search. "You can help me find the rest of those idiots," I say and I kiss him on the tip of the nose. He giggles and he rubs his nose against mine. It tickles and I can't help but smile.

"And do I get a reward for helping you?" Winn asks and he cocks his head. A reward? I already have a few things in mind.

"Sure," I say and I move my thumb across his cheek. "But it's just for you so don't tell anyone else." He grins and then he kisses my lips one last time before standing up.

"See you at eleven?"

"See you," I say and I smile as I watch him walk away from me.

***

I think Zach and I are having a competition now. It was supposed to be just for fun but apparently we're competing now.

A few minutes ago he texted me to tell me that he's caught Justin and Scott already. So he knew that I brought my phone and he's probably cheating. I'll cheat too. 

I flash my phone around and within minutes I find Charlie and Diego cuddling in a corner. Do they ever stop? But that's two, plus Winn and anyone he's managed to find for me. I'm gonna win for sure.

So Charlie and Diego walk back to the cabin as I text Zach and send a picture as proof to let him know that we're drawing right now.

There are about fifteen minutes left until eleven and my legs are starting to ache from the amount of ground I've covered. Then Zach tells me that he's found his boyfriend. Yeah, 'found'. Alex is just helping him win. But I get a new rush of energy and I flash my flashlight everywhere trying to find literally anyone.

I hear a loud thud like someone falling from the tree and landing on the ground and I grin to myself. I flash the light around and my eyes rest on Brad who's laying on the floor and rubbing his back while cursing. I immediately stop grinning and I clench my fists.

I haven't forgotten what he's said to Winston and I kind of regret dragging Winn away from the fight because Brad deserved to get beat the fuck up. But I just didn't want my baby getting hurt over this son of a bitch. 

He stares at me and I stare back. We haven't even exchanged a word since the fight and now I find myself walking towards him.

"Hey..." he says awkwardly and he starts to sit up. Oh, so now he's lost for words? And just last night he was running his mouth calling Winn dirty and whatever else. He upset Winn and he better not think he's getting away with it.

I've been thinking about having a chat with Brad but I haven't had the chance yet. Bryce was always around with him, guarding him like a dog. 

He sits on the ground and I stand over him. He might be taller and fatter than me but I _know_ I'm stronger. I could knock him out with one punch. Even Winston was able to punch him once.

"S-so, I go back to the cabin now, right?" he stutters nervously when I don't say anything. The cabin? Sure, we can go back to the cabin. After I knock some sense into him.

***

** Winston's POV **

"Where is that guy?" Zach groans. It's five past and we're all sitting around waiting for Monty to show up. We're all here except for Monty. Or at least that's what they think. I think I'm the only one who notices that Brad isn't here either. 

"Text him again," Scott tells Zach and Zach starts tapping on his screen. He never presses send because Monty arrives looking triumphant.

"There he is!" Bryce cheers and Monty holds his arms up and grins. I smile at him but he hasn't even seen me yet. Monty walks closer to us and Zach shakes his head.

"What are you grinning at? You lost," Zach laughs at him but Monty doesn't seem bothered. I'm still worried about Brad. Even though I hate the guy, I don't want him getting lost somewhere.

"That's not exactly true," I speak up then and Monty's eyes finally flicker to mine. My heart skips a beat. No one has ever made me as nervous as he has and I know I try to cover it up by acting all cocky but... I can barely catch my breath when I'm around him.

"What are you talking about?" Justin groans. He's brought some food outside and he's annoyed that we're starting the grill late because Monty took so long to come back. Justin promised not to light the grill until we find out who won the dumb rivalry between Zach and Monty.

Monty just waits for me to speak and his eyes never leave mine. It reminds me of how we... Fuck I'm so mad at myself for getting too small condoms. I could have had him but of course, something had to get in the way. Now I just want him even more.

"Monty and I worked together," I say with a shrug and Zach glares at me and then looks at Monty.

"What? You can't do that," Zach says but Monty raises his eyebrows.

"I thought we agreed there were no rules?" he challenges Zach and he looks so hot while doing it.

A small argument breaks out but it doesn't last long. Scott and Diego help settle it and decide that it was a draw and Justin cheers happy that he can finally start his grill.

Monty sits on a plastic chair that's opposite the couch that I'm sitting on and I need to remind myself to stop staring at him. I just wanna know why he's not giving me as much attention as he usually is. Maybe I should put on a skirt and sit in Justin's lap again. That seemed to work well last time. 

Or I could just sit in Monty's lap. That worked too. But then Scott moves to sit next to him and I know that I lost my chance because he and Scott start a conversation about weed and that Jeff guy. If it was anyone else, I would go over there and sit in Monty's lap but Scott... Scott makes me uneasy. I don't like the way he looks at Monty sometimes. Or the way Monty looks back at him.

"Okay so, the first one is always but, of course," Justin says as he flips a burger on the grill and tries to convince us that they're meant to look this black and burnt. No one buys it. "Come on guys, it's just a bit of- Holy _fuck!_ What the hell happened to you?"

Justin freezes in place and he stares straight ahead. We all turn our heads to look what the big deal is about and my eyes widen when I see Brad walking towards us. He looks like he was trampled over by a bunch of wild animals. His face is swollen, his lips bleeding, his nose twice its original size. I can't look away knowing that this was obviously done by someone. And I think I know who.

"What happened to you man?" Zach asks but he doesn't sound like he cares much. After last night, they all must think that he deserves whatever happened to him.

"T-tripped," Brad says shakily and his eyes land on Monty who stares back with a blank expression. "I'm gonna clean myself up in the bathroom."

"Yeah, you do that," Monty says coldly and we let Brad walk away with no further comments.

I know that I should be mortified that Monty was able to do that to someone but... I'm not. He probably thought he was doing the right thing. It may teach Brad a lesson to keep his homophobic thoughts to himself.

***

The atmosphere changes after a while or after a few joints. 

_"I said, ooh, I'm blinded by the lights! No, I can't sleep until-_ Scotty sing this next part with me!"

Look at him. Just look at him.

We're sitting around the grill/bonfire because Justin managed to break it and turn it into a small fire now instead of a grill. I think he gave up after he burnt that fifth burger and dropped it into the fire.

Some of the guys have gone to bed but most of us have stayed and we're having the time of our lives. Especially Monty. I think punching Brad gave him a serotonin rush. Or, again, it may have been the weed.

Scott doesn't look too happy to be singing but then he joins in with Monty and they sing the next part together. Or at least try to, Monty completely drowns Scott out with his voice.

He's high as a kite but so are the rest of us and they just laugh along, not even minding Monty's out of tune singing. He has a pretty good singing voice, even while being high.

The song changes but I stay where I am, still staring at Monty. I don't realise that I'm grinning until Justin nudges me to let me know that he's gonna go to bed and to look after the grill for him.

I don't know what to think of Justin. He was alright at first and it was fun. Or at least I thought it was going to he fun, just an easy way to get laid. But I don't think Justin is up for anything more than blowjobs. And anyway, Monty doesn't even like it when I look at Justin.

He's cute when he's jealous and he looks like he wants to kill me because all I need to do is kiss him and he melts.

He's a big softie even if he tries to pretend that he's not.

"Oh, Monty," Zach shouts when he hears what the next song is. "It's your favourite song!"

I laugh which gets Monty's attention. He rolls his eyes at me and shakes his head. "It's not my favourite song," he tells me and then he takes a deep breath and starts singing along. " _Even though we're going through it and it makes you feel alone, just know that I would die for you!"_ He pauses and then he points at me for just a couple fo seconds. " _Baby I would die for you, yeah."_

I laugh at how cute he's acting tonight and the guys start teasing him. Monty doesn't care and he continues singing to himself even when Scott covers his ears and tells him that he feels a headache coming on. 

"Come on, let him sing," I say and Monty's grin just widens. That grin looks like an invitation to me. I stand up from the couch leaving Alex behind and I walk over to Monty. Scott moves his chair away and I get more space with Monty.

I sit on his lap but he turns me so that I'm sat sideways and my arm is around his neck. My legs hang from the armrest of the chair and Monty keeps one hand on my upper thigh to make sure that I don't slide off. I really don't mind this.

"Winston, any requests?" Zach asks as he searches through his phone to change the song. Monty is currently smoking the joint that Scott passed to him and he's too focused on that to help me out with a song.

I _would_ choose a song but I'm worried that they'll tease me for my music taste just like William always does. I don't know what they like listening to. Except for Monty of course. I now understand that he's a big fan of the Weeknd

"Come on Winston, put some effort in," Alex says and I'm surprised he's speaking to me. I thought he'd hate me forever after that compliment Zach gave me. I try to think of a song that won't make me a target of their teasing and Alex tries to encourage me. "What about Harry Styles?" 

I expect Monty to laugh or at least make a comment but he's not even paying attention to the conversation. No, he's paying attention to Scott and the joint that they're sharing. Am I doing something wrong? I should have his full attention now. 

"No, put some _One Direction_ on," I say and even that doesn't get me a reaction from Monty. It's starting to piss me off. Until I shift in his lap and I see the smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He's doing it on purpose. He knows I want his attention. 

"Alright," Zach says and after a few seconds, he speaks again. "I'm picking this one just for Monty, I know how much he loves it."

Monty turns his head as soon as the song starts playing and I laugh as he pulls me closer to him. "Aw, come on man," Monty complains. "You know Estela forced me to listen to that crap."

"Did you just call it crap?" Scott asks pretending to be offended and I hate how he has to include himself in everything. Scott starts to sing along, encouraging Monty to join him.

Monty joins in halfway through the chorus. _"I can't contain this anymore! I'm all yours, I've got no control! No-_ Come on, Winn. You sing too. _I don't care, it's obvious. I just can't get enough of you!"_

Even Zach and Alex join in, shouting at the top of their lungs and making faces while doing it. I'm sure that by now everyone who has gone to sleep is awake. So it can't hurt to join in too, right?

I know that I can't sing but neither can the rest of them and my terrible singing just blends in with their shouting. We cheer at the end when we're done and Scott stands up while he's still laughing.

"I'm gonna... go sleep," he says sleepily and he gives us a small wave before walking towards the cabin.

Monty passes the joint to me now that he doesn't have Scott to share it with so I lean down and he holds the joint up to my lips. He watches me as I inhale and let the smoke fill my legs before exhaling. He looks at with this look that... I'm sure if nobody was around he'd kiss me. But he's not up for doing that in public. 

I understand. Kind of. He doesn't think fucking guys makes him gay and that's okay. For now. I'm not going to pressure him into figuring it out, he needs some time to think it through.

We keep smoking and Monty hums along to whatever song Zach plays. Alex leaves at some point and Zach follows him inside shortly after leaving just us and the fire in the grill.

I rest my head on Monty's shoulder and he holds me in his arms while he smokes. His humming is quite soothing and my eyelids start to feel heavy.

"Monty?"

"Hmm?" He stops humming along to _'My My My'_ by Troye Sivan and I smile to myself. I haven't even realised what song was playing until now. Why did I think he'd make fun of my music taste? I have no idea.

I close my eyes and I rub my head against his chest. "I think I'm gonna fall asleep." I _know_ I'm gonna fall asleep. And as much as I don't want to sleep outside, I also don't want to get up and leave Monty. I like this. I like _him._

"Okay," he says softly and it's not helping that he starts to play with my hair making me feel even more sleepy. Okay? What's that supposed to mean? I grunt quietly and Monty sighs as the song stops and we're sat in silence now. 

"I'll just carry you inside once you do," he tells me and I smile to myself. "Is that okay?" 

I nod. He is _so_ going soft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment if you enjoyed this and dont forget to follow me on Instagram :)  
> thank you to all my Instagram followers who helped with the song choices (the rest of them will be used later on)


	12. What's Sleeping?

**Chapter Twelve**

My sleeping schedule must be fucked if I'm fine with waking up after like four hours of sleep. Everyone else is asleep but it's just eight in the morning so I don't expect them to be up yet.

Winn fell asleep pretty quickly last night and I carried him inside before tucking him into his sleeping bag. I stayed outside by myself for a few hours. I didn't really do anything, just sat there and thought about shit for a long while. At some point, I went to the car to check up on Brad to see if he was still alive.

Everyone knows or can assume that I'm the one who beat him up. I don't get into as many fights as I used to but it still happens. I just lost my temper with Brad especially when he said he had nothing to apologize for.

One advantage of waking up this early is having the bathroom all to myself. The last time I showered was like... On Friday during the day maybe and it was just a quick shower.

This time, I shower properly and I shave too because I know my stubble is starting to grow and I'm not a fan of it.

I look clean and I feel clean and I think that I smell nice. I think someone should appreciate that.

I tiptoe back into the living room and I'm careful to avoid Justin who is sleeping close to Winston but he's sprawled all over the place and I almost trip over his legs.

I lean over Winston and I brush some hair away from his face. He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping. I know he already slept in my bed once but I didn't even have time to take it in as we both fell asleep so quickly.

I look around but all the guys are snoring and not even moving a muscle. Only Zach turns on his side but I don't care about Zach seeing this.

I lean down and I place a kiss on his cheek. My lips still feel minty and cold from the toothpaste and he stirs.

He opens his eyes and smiles at me. "Hey," he says sleepily and then he starts to close his eyes again. No, he can't ignore me.

I kiss him again and he chuckles lightly and starts to wake up. "What do you want?" he asks with a grin and I lean over him.

"Go on a walk with me?" I ask but it's more like an offer that I know he won't decline. He smiles and then closes his eyes again.

"Hmm?" He can't seriously be tired now, he can't go to sleep. I rest my head on his shoulder and I start kissing his neck in an attempt to wake him up. He groans softly and then squeezes my hip. "Okay, okay. I'm getting up... soon." he tilts his head back and I frown.

"What do you mean 'soon'?" I ask him and I turn his head towards me by holding his chin. He needs to wake up now before the rest of the guys do and start sprinting to the bathroom. 

He smiles at me and pushes his hair away from his face. "I mean: keep kissing my neck because I like it.'"

So I do. 

I can't wait to get him in my bed where none of the guys are around. I can't wait for this weekend to be over.

***

We didn't get out of the cabin until maybe half an hour later because Winston needed to shower and get dressed.

"What happened to you wearing skirts?" I ask him when we start walking down the path together and he smiles.

"I've only got one clean one left," Winston tells me. "Thought I'd save it for a special occasion." Special occasion? I raise an eyebrow in question and he gives me a knowing grin. He doesn't explain further and I leave my imagination to answer what the 'special occasion' could be.

We walk further down the path, past the cars and the sleeping Brad and I glance at him for just a second through the car window. He looks even worse than last night. Maybe if he kept his mouth shut and stopped talking shit about Winston...

"Has he apologised to you yet?" I ask Winn and he bites his lip. He promised that he'd apologise and I'm gonna make sure that he does.

Winn shakes his head. "No, but... It's fine. I-"

"How is it fine?" Has he forgotten how shaken up he was after that fight? Has he forgotten what that bastard said to him?

Winston sighs. "Look, I know you mean well but you can't just make him change his views just like that," he tells me and he puts his hands in his pockets. "There are a lot more people like him out there and I'm certain that I'll come across them many times in my life, I can't expect them all to apologise to me."

I frown. So what, he's okay with people giving him shit just because he's gay? I thought he was all for gay rights and whatever. "So you think that's okay? People going around calling faggots disgusting?"

He flinches at the insult and then he shakes his head. I feel bad when I remember that that's what Brad called him. Maybe it's better not to use it around him. 

"No, I'm just saying that sometimes, it's just better to... Keep your head down and your mouth shut instead of making it into a much bigger deal," Winston shrugs and I scoff. I went into all that trouble just to get Brad to apologise and now he doesn't even want it. 

I turn away from Winston and I'm this close to turning around and walking back to the cabin but then I feel his hand touch mine. I look down and I think he's trying to... Hold my hand? He moves his hand so that our fingers are touching and then he links our hands together and squeezes tight. I mean, it's a bit... gay.

"Winston..." I don't want him to get the wrong idea about me. I'm down to mess around with him and I'm cool with being his friend but we can't do _this._ We can't act like we're dating.

"So where are we going? Or are we just walking?" Winston asks and he looks around. He's trying to pretend that he's not holding my hand but I can fucking feel it and I feel it in every nerve ending in my body.

"W-we're just walking," I tell him. Obviously I had a plan for this. I wanted to walk a little and then talk to him but I seem to have forgotten whatever it was I wanted to tell him. But just walking? Sounds a bit borning. "Unless you're hungry?"

Neither of us has had breakfast yet but I haven't realised until now. I could take him out to eat somewhere. I've got enough cash from working at the orchard.

He shrugs. "I don't wanna like," He has this uneasy expression on his face. "Bother you or anything."

I raise an eyebrow. Oh, so now he's self-aware? "You've been bothering me since you arrived," I tell him and then I gently pull my hand away from his. I can finally sigh with relief, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest. No strings and no attachments. "So why would you stop now?"

Winston chuckles quietly. "Good point."

We walk on in silence and Winston finds a stone to kick to amuse himself. The thing about being in the middle of nowhere is that you have to walk for miles before you reach civilization. Well maybe not miles but you get what I mean.

"There should be a diner somewhere here soon," I say awkwardly just wanting to say something so it's not silent around us.

"Great," Winston says with a grin and his voice sounds like usual but for some reason, something feels off about him. I obviously don't want to upset him but I don't want to give him any wrong ideas either so I think this is for the best.

As much as I hate walking in silence, I also don't make any effort to start a conversation in case he's not really gonna participate. But then he speaks first.

"So, erm, why did you wanna go on a walk?" he asks and he turns to me. Clearly we both know that I didn't just drag him out here to stretch my legs.

"Doesn't matter," I say and he nods. I expect him to bug me about it like he usually does but he doesn't.

"You all seem like you, erm... You know your way around here," he then says and I nod. "So do you come here often?"

Often? "Kind of," I say. "This is like... Our third year here or something but I... I've done this before. With my family."

He laughs and I realise that I may need to explain. "No, no I don't mean..." I say and I run my hand down my face. He continues laughing and I nudge him. "You know what I mean."

Yeah, it's embarrassing but at least it made him laugh. He nods. "Yeah, yeah. I get it," he says and then he glances at me and then back at the ground. "So... What was it like."

Camping with my family? God, I almost forgot all about it that's how long ago it was. "I was only a kid when we went. I think we only went twice or something. We stopped after..." Josiah. We stopped after Josiah died. No one had the energy to go without him, he enjoyed camping the most.

I clear my throat. "We didn't rent out cabins, we just took our tents and camping gear and we camped out in the forest," I say and then I pause to see Winston smiling to himself. "Josiah loved it."

Winston knows about my brother and he always tries to find out more about him. I don't know why but I trust him enough to tell him about my brother.

"He was the one that made it so much fun. He'd take me and my sister on walks, he'd tells us all about the starts and it..." I trail off just thinking about all those nights Josiah helped us sneak out of our tents while our parents were sleeping just to talk to us about the stars.

"You know, I always used to think that when someone is... gone then they just..." I don't finish my sentence because I don't really know what to say. I sigh and Winston still doesn't interrupt me, not even once. "But when I look at the stars it... It sometimes feels like he's still around, you know?"

Maybe not all the time but... Sometimes it feels like he's still here. Of course, he's still sixteen in my head, he hasn't grown a day but he's still my big brother. I wish he was still around.

"I get it," Winston then says and he gives me a comforting smile. I smile back and then I look down at my feet again. Of course, Winston understands, he always seems to.

"Do you... Do you think he would have liked me?" Winston then asks uncertainly and looks at me. I look up at him.

"Josiah?" He nods. I compare sixteen-year-old Josiah to seventeen-year-old Winston and... I smile to myself. "Oh, he would have loved you." If someone had woken him up in the middle of the night just to go to the beach and look at stars... Josiah would have loved Winston.

And then I get sad again just realising that Winston will never meet Josiah and Josiah never got a chance to meet Winston. Life really sucks sometimes.

***

The bell rings when Winston pushes the door of the diner open and he grins at me. "Ooh, they have a bell," he whispers excitedly and then he turns back to the diner where the waitress is smiling at us. "'Morning."

She says morning back and then I walk Winston over to one of the tables because he's not entirely sure whether he should wait to be seated or just sit down.

The diner isn't full just like I expected, there's only one elder man sitting in the corner reading a newspaper while sipping his coffee.

"Order for me?" Winston says just as the waitress comes over with a notepad and a pen. I'm not sure that's a good idea and I'm already starting to panic about what I should get for him. What does he even like? 

The waitress smiles brightly at me and she takes my order of pancakes and-

"Two hot chocolates," Winston finishes for me when he sees me hesitate. He grins back at the waitress and then she walks away from our table. He's really got a way with people.

I could tease him about his choice of drinks but I decide not to. Instead, I sit back in my seat and I roll my shoulders trying to relax. I must have slept in some weird position last night to make my muscles hurt this much. Good thing Winston still owes me a back rub.

"So how do you know about this place?" Winston asks distracting me from my fantasy at probably just the right time.

I shrug not really wanting to go into detail. "Scotty took me here last year. We needed a break from the rest of them." Last year, it was overwhelming when the girls were here and everyone was fucking basically 24/7 and then some argument broke out like always. Scott just took me away and got breakfast here with me. We stayed until it was time to go back home again.

Winn frowns and then he raises his eyebrows like he's unimpressed. I don't get why but then Winston's expression quickly changes before I can ask. 

"You excited to be getting back home soon?" he asks and I grin and nod. I love the guys and I love spending time with them but the lack of privacy and quiet is exhausting.

"Yeah, can't wait to sleep in my own bed," I say and I chuckle lightly. Winston smiles and licks his lips like he always does whenever he's come up with something to say.

"Me too," he says and then he winks. Fortunately, we don't have to continue the conversation as the waitress brings us our hot chocolates and then our pancakes.

We eat in comfortable silence and I cut my pancakes up with my fork before soaking them in syrup and stuffing them in my mouth. Winston doesn't comment even though he uses both his knife and fork and wipes his mouth with a napkin. No one really cares about manners here.

Then Winton laughs. "Wait, let me... Let me try to eat like you." I raise an amused eyebrow as he puts his knife anyway and just uses his fork. I can see that he doesn't know what to do with his other hand and he puts it in his lap.

He copies me and I can't stop grinning. I cut the pancake into four almost equal bits and then I job two of them onto my fork. They're fluffy pancakes so of course, they're larger and Winston rolls his eyes.

"Not two," he complains.

"Come on, I know you can take it," I tease him and he blushes. Yes, finally it's my turn to tease _him._

So he soaks the pancakes in the syrup and then he puts them in his mouth. He chews on it for a good thirty seconds and then picks his knife back up. "You know..." he says with his fist over his mouth as he continues chewing. He swallows and then he clears his throat. "My parents would go mental if they saw this."

"Saw what?" I ask and I put another pancake into my mouth because I've finished chewing long ago.

"This," he says and then he smiles. "Me acting like..."

"Like me? Like you've got no manners at all?" I ask with my mouth full and then I grin. Obviously I know basic table manners (just about) but that doesn't mean I have to use them.

Winston puts his knife and fork down and wipes his mouth with his napkin. "My parents drag me and Will to so many dinners and lunches that by now it seems like second nature to just..."

He doesn't meet my eyes, he just stares down at his plate. I hate how sad he always goes whenever he mentions his family or his life back in the city. 

"You don't have to pretend here, you know that right?" I ask and he looks up and smiles briefly. "If you wanna eat with your hands here, then eat with your hands. No one cares." 

It's just something to get him to relax but then he grins and he picks up the last pancake of his plate and stuffs it into his mouth. I watch him and I grin when I notice the waitress give us weird looks from the counter.

Winston tries his best to chew the pancake but he keeps on laughing in between and his eyes start to water.

I can see that he's struggling and I reach across the table and give him my napkin. "Okay, spit it out, you've had eno-" 

He shakes his head and then a few seconds later he swallows and grins at me proudly. "See? I thought you'd know that I don't spit," he tells me and this time it's my turn to blush.

***

We walk back home full of pancakes and hot chocolate and I feel sleepy again. I have to blink a lot to remind myself to stay awake as Winston happily skips beside me. I'm walking and yes, my legs are moving but my head feels heavy and my eyelids keep trying to cover my eyes.

"Monty look!" Winston grabs my shoulder completely jerking me awake and I look around frantically to try to find out what's going on.

"Huh?"

"Look!" he says again and he points in the distance where something dark is lying next to a tree.

I squint to try to get a better view and I frown. "What? That old shoe?"

I must have said something wrong because Winston stares at me and blinks. He doesn't have to explain, he just puts his fingers and whistles. Turns out the 'old shoe' is actually a dog that starts running towards us.

He's very little, short dark hair but the hair under his stomach and on his legs is white. He's tiny but his ears are giant.

He reaches my legs and I stop walking. He sits down at my feet and I feel Winston put his hand on my shoulder again.

"Who's this little guy?" I pick the dog up and I look around for any collar or marking that would tell me who he belongs to. He hasn't got a name tag or anything. I keep holding him in my arms and he doesn't scratch at me like a wild animal but it's better to be careful.

He looks well looked after which means that he either belongs to someone or someone left him here and they wouldn't do that for no reason. Maybe he's rabid and we all know how expensive the vet is here so dropping the dog off in the middle of nowhere may sound like a more appealing option to some people.

I realise that I can't leave the dog here because Winston has already gotten attached.

He starts awing at the dog and he strokes its head with his free hand. "Monty, he's beautiful! Can we keep him?"

How do I say no without looking like a terrible person?

***

"They went to get breakfast and came back with a dog. Unbelievable," Zach mutters under his breath when he walks past.

We're already getting prepared to leave. We've packed all of our shit up and we've got our bags in the trunk of the car. Winston put his sleeping bag in the trunk but decided to take the bag with all the photography shit out.

Justin and Diego are dragging the couch back inside and Brad and Bryce are trying to decide what to do with the broken grill. I want to say that we could use it next year but will there even be a next time?

The rest of us are sitting on the grass, waiting to set off. Charlie is talking with Scott and Alex while Zach is doing something by the car. I'm sat close to Winston and the dog is sat in his lap while he messes around with the camera in his hand.

"Kinda sucks that I barely took any photos," Winston says and he sighs. The dog starts rolling around on the ground and Winston rubs his stomach with one hand.

"Take some now," I say simply with a shrug as I lay down on the ground. Winston smiles and then he snaps a photo of me without warning. "Oh, come on."

He laughs and then leans forward to pass the camera to me. "Your turn," he says and then he lays down next to the dog as I hold the camera in my hands. It's heavy and I'm scared that I'm gonna break it but I've seen him use it enough times to at least know which button to press.

"I'll even pose for you," Winston says and he does. He keeps one hand on the dog and then he props his head up with his elbow. I take a picture while Winston grins directly at the camera and then I look at the picture I took.

"How do I look?" he asks and at that exact moment, Brad and his black eye walk past to get to the cabin. He scoffs. I'm gonna knock him the fuck out in a second. The bastard mumble an apology to Winston when we got back but he doesn't look very sorry to me. 

Winston seems to notice that my eyes are fixed on Brad and he clears his throat and takes the camera out of my hand. "Aw, yeah this looks cute," he says and I turn my attention back to him. He keeps cuddling the dog and I sigh and sit up.

"That dog's getting more affection than me," I say and Winston smiles.

"Oh, you want affection?" 

"You bet I want affection," I say and Winston leaves the dog behind and crawls over to me. He pushes me back so that I'm laying down and then he gets on top of me so that he's sitting on me just like he was last night just before we tried (and failed) to fuck.

He runs his hand from the top of my chest and down to my abdomen. I'm slightly worried about what the guys will think but then will they really care? When we came back, we found out that Alex and Zach finally gave in and got caught fucking in the bathroom. That's at least two ticked off my list.

I shift underneath Winston to move him up a little so that he's not sat directly where I want him most. He rolls his eyes when he realises what I'm trying to do and then he gets off of me.

"Hey! Get back here!" I say and I try to sit up and pull him back on top of me but he moves away and gets back to the dog.

"No, I think the dog appreciates my affection more than you do," he says and then he kisses the dog on the forehead. Ew, I don't even wanna remind him how dirty that dog could be. Zach already took me to the side a while ago and told me that we need to take that dog to the vet as soon as we can. And we will.

"What should we name him?" Winston asks and he grins at the dog. So I guess we really are keeping him.

I groan and lay on my side so I can watch the dog. "What about... William Williams?" 

Winston laughs. "What, after my lovely brother? Let's not ruin the dog's life." From my experience, William's life is anything but ruined but that's because he's got an ego the size of Mexico.

"So what do you suggest?" I ask and Winston sighs as he takes a second to think. Hopefully, he's better at naming kids than his parents.

"Erm, we could go with... Monte?" he suggests and I roll my eyes.

"Ha, ha very funny," I say and he grins proudly.

He leaves the dog and gets on top of me again. I don't even question it and he's still giggling when he leans down to kiss me. I completely forget that we are around the rest of the guys and I let myself slip up for just a second before turning my head away.

Winston looks annoyed but he stays where he is and I sit up and place my hands on the ground to hold myself up. Winston shifts in my lap and then he puts his head on my shoulder.

"Alright! Gather around everyone, the results have come back!" I hear Diego shout and I groan when I realise what this is about. Diego is carrying all of our lists outside and Zach is by his side with a dusty cap which has a ripped out piece of paper with the word _'loser'_ stuck on it.

I'd push Winston off of me but they've all already seen us kiss so what's the point, it's not like they caught us fucking.

We watch as Zach and Diego exchange looks and then start laughing. Oh no, this must be good.

"So we counted up your scores and the guy with the least bets right-"

"Only one right," Diego interrupts and I relax. I know that I've at least gotten two right so I'm safe.

"Is Scotty!" Zach shouts excitedly and then he runs over to put the hat on Scott's head. Scott groans and shakes his head. I kinda feel bad for the guy

"Wait, which one did I get right?" Scott asks and Diego looks over the lists in his hand to check.

"Uh... Monty and Winston," Diego says while looking down at the list and I frown. 

"What? How? We didn't even-" I say but they're not even paying attention to me as they agree that Winston and I obviously fucked. Winston seems to find it funny. 

But Scott bet on _us?_ Why would he even do that? But I guess he has seen me spend more time with Winston than anyone else those past few days.

"Wait, did anyone else bet on us?" I ask and I look around. Those fuckers, I swear... 

Diego puts his hand up first. "Guilty."

Charlie's next. "Yeah, kinda saw it coming long ago," he says and I remember what he said about me wanting Winston all those nights ago.

"Yeah, me too," Winston then adds and he grins at me. I glare at him but he just shrugs with an innocent smile on his face.

"But..." I try to protest but it looks like I'm outnumbered.

"Dude, he's literally sat in your lap right now," Justin says and I can't help but notice that he sounds slightly annoyed. He should be, I stole Winston from right under his nose and I don't regret it one bit. 

So, in the end, I give up trying to argue my way out of this one, I should have known we were kind of being obvious. And as we've said yesterday, a blow job counts as fucking.

"Alright kids, grab your stuff and get in the cars," Bryce then says and he claps his hands together. "We'll figure Scotty's punishment put on the way home but right now I just wanna get home and sleep in my own fucking bed."

Yeah, I think all of us do.

***

I try my best to stay awake and listening to Alex and Zach talk to each other kind of helps. I listen to their small talk and it's cute how they can just feel so comfortable around each other.

Scott's head is in my lap and he's sleeping but I don't mind him. Zach said that he's not making us walk all the way home so he's gonna drive us all to our houses. We're currently on our way to Scott's house so Winston will be leaving too unless I think of a way to get him to go home with me. I could just ask.

He's currently sleeping too. His head is on my shoulder and the unnamed dog is sat in his lap. I'm still trying to think of a name for him.

Alex and Zach continue talking about college and that's pretty much the only noise in our car apart from Winston's breathing and Scott's occasional snoring. I don't even wanna know what's going on in Bryce's car right now as they talk about Scotty's punishment.

Scott didn't really seem to care much and we got bored talking about it after five minutes because it really wasn't affecting him. 

After maybe five minutes, the car stops and I look out of the window to see that we're in front of Scott's house. It's not dark outside but it's starting to get dim.

I nudge Scott and he wakes up immediately. "Huh?"

"Get out," I say and he stares at me. I chuckle lightly at his surprised expression. Winston wakes up when my shoulders shake. "Come on, we're outside your house."

Scott nods slowly and he unbuckles his seatbelt. He says thanks to Zach and goodnight to the rest of us before opening the car door. Then he stops. "Winston, come on."

And that's it. All my plans gone just like that because Scott had to open his big mouth.

"Actually I'm gonna sleep at Monty's tonight," Winston says casually and he rests his head against mine. Scott stays still for a moment and then he nods slowly.

"Alright..." he says and then he closes the door to get his stuff out of the trunk.

Zach and Alex start whispering and laughing to each other and I roll my eyes.

"What? Anyone wanna say anything?" I say and I stare at Alex especially. He immediately stops grinning.

"No, man. Just..." Zach then says and he smiles at me. "Just sleep well, right?"

"Right," I say and then the car starts moving. I wave at Scott through the window and Winston places a kiss on my shoulder.

I'll be lucky if I get any at all sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've kind of explained on my Instagram that I won't be updating as regularly now that school is starting so sorry about that. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and id love to know what you thought of it :)  
> ps: I wrote this whole chapter while having a fever and I'm basically passing out while writing this so ignore any spelling mistakes :)


	13. Temporary Label

**Chapter Thirteen**

Fortunately, the gate was open and we didn't have to climb over it with our massive bags. Winston left Zach's sleeping bag in the car but he's still carrying two bags, the one with his stuff and the one with all his cameras. 

I've only got my backpack on my back and I'm carrying the dog in my arms. I see that Estela, Tony and Tony's boyfriend Caleb are standing outside, swinging on the swing that dad made for us a few years ago.

They don't even seem to care that we're back.

"Oh my God! Is that a _dog?_ " Estela squeals when we come closer and she tries to take the poor thing out of my arms but I turn away from her.

"Don't, he might have rabies or some shit," I say and Tony stares at me.

"Rabies?" he says and I shrug. "I can take him to the vet tomorrow if you like, I'm going to town anyway."

Tony doesn't mean our town centre, he means town as in a few cities over where there's actual civilisation. "Alright," I say and then I notice that Winston is just awkwardly standing by my side. "Oh, this is-"

"Winston, right?" Tony says and he shakes Winston's hand. I remember that they met the day that Winston came to talk to me.

Caleb introduces himself next and then Estela while I just stand there awkwardly waiting for them all to be done.

"So how was it?" Estela asks us and she looks at me and then at Winston. I don't think she has any idea about what goes on on our road trips. It better stay that way.

"Fine," I say and then I glance at the barn. "We're actually kind of tired now so..." I'm hoping that they won't ask why Winston is with me and why he's gonna be sleeping with me because I don't have an answer for that.

Estela starts to take the dog out of my arms and smiling at him like he's a baby or something. I struggle at first but then I give up. Maybe it's better to get the dog out of the way.

"Okay, goodnight then," I say uncertainly. They say goodnight to us as we start walking towards the barn. My heart starts to thud and I hate that my hands are sweating. This would be so much easier if I could just stop thinking about it. 

"So are... Tony and Caleb, are they like together?" Winston then asks me as I slide the door to the barn open and he walks inside. I think he's nervous too and that's why he's making small talk.

"Yeah," I say simply and then I walk inside. You can lock the barn from both the outside and the inside but I usually never lock it. It would be smart to lock it now though.

When he turns his back to put his bags down on the couch in the corner, I quietly turn the lock on the door. So what now? I'm kind of hoping that Winston will just make the first move and I can follow on from there. But he sits down on the couch next to his bags and then looks me up and down like he's waiting for me to make the move.

Why am I acting like a fucking virgin? Just get it together Monty.

"Up," I say and I motion with my finger as I start walking towards him. He acts all cocky and shit but I know he likes to be told what to do.

He immediately grins and stands up from the couch with no hesitation. I stand in front of him and I just stare at his face for a second. I move my eyes down to his hair, to his eyes, to his lips and lastly to his neck where the collar of the shirt is. 

The shirt is only buttoned halfway. I reach for the buttons and start to unbutton them slowly. I can tell he must be going crazy with how long he's waited for this. There's no rush like there was last night.

He chews on his bottom lip as I undo each button one by one. Then I look up when I'm doing the last button and Winston swallows. 

I wish I was fucking high for this or I at least made us smoke before, it would make this much easier. But I'm not gonna stop now once I've started.

I slowly roll his shirt down his shoulders and arms making sure to keep contact with his bare skin and I can hear his breathing getting heavier. I drop the shirt to the floor and then I put my hands on his ass and I bring him closer to me.

He's like my pretty little doll all for me to play with. 

He tries his luck and leans forward to kiss me but I hold him by the chin and stop him. I run my thumb over his bottom lip and I hear his breath hitch in his throat. Okay, maybe he deserves a small kiss.

But that 'small kiss' when I press my lips to his quickly turns into full-blown making out as he kisses me like he's dying for it. I keep holding him by his chin, kissing him and he holds onto my arms with his hands.

He pushes me backwards as he takes a few steps forward. I wanna see where this goes so I go along with it and I let him guide us until the back of my legs touches the bed. Then, he puts his hands on my chest and he pushes me onto the bed. 

It's sudden but I don't get to react or get a chance to miss his lips on mine as he gets on top of me and attaches his lips to mine again. I keep one hand on his lower back and the other one stays behind my head. He tugs at my shirt and I sit up slightly to help him undress me.

Winston kisses my lips once again before pulling away and moving down to my neck. I keep my hands on his back and I press my lips tightly together as he bites and sucks on my neck leaving marks all over the place.

He moves down leaving a trail of kisses down my chest and then he stops when he reaches my shorts. He tugs them down with my boxers in one motion and the next second they're laying on the floor.

I'm hard and it's there, right in front of him and yet he avoids it at all cost. He kisses up my thighs, my hips and then my abandonment. I groan in annoyance and I raise my hips to try to get him to at least touch me but he continues kissing and licking all around. Fucking tease.

He stops at the tattoo and then starts grinning. "Baby, don-" I try to say and then his teeth sink into my flesh. I throw my head back and groan. Not because it hurts (even though it kinda does) but because it feels slightly nice and my cock twitches in response.

I look back down and Winston is grinning at me as he pulls away. There's teeth marks all around my tattoo and he looks proud. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he says and I sigh and swallow to try to contain myself. He's thought about me fucking him. I'd like to know what he fantasised about but later.

"Okay, you've had your fun now," I say and then I tug at his hair and brings his mouth to the head of my cock. He doesn't even try to tease me, he just opens his mouth and I push his head down. He gets only about half of me in his mouth and then wraps his hand around the other half.

I know that he can take more because he's done it before, he chooses not to and just sucks on the tip for a moment. I forget to press my lips together and I let out a breathy groan that seems to satisfy Winston as he makes a soft moaning sound that sends vibrations through my body.

I immediately pull his head up and he stares at me all confused like he's wondering what he's done wrong. Nothing, I just know he's gonna make me come faster than I want to if he keeps going.

I pull him up to kiss my lips again and his lips are wet from saliva. He acts like I'm gonna let him stay on top. As if.

I flip us over and press his body down into my mattress and then I wonder why he's still wearing his shorts.

"Off," I say and then I get off him and crawl up the bed to reach my nightstand. The nightstand where I keep the condoms that actually fit me. 

Winston fumbles around with his shorts behind me and then he stands up. "I've got lube in my bag," he tells me when I shoot a glance at him wondering where the fuck he's going. Right, lube. So much fucking preparation goes into fucking a guy.

He's taking so fucking long searching around in that bag, I walk over to him and I pick him up once he's got the bottle in his hand. He laughs and my cock keeps brushing past him as I carry him to the bed.

I try to get him to get on his hands and knees but he shakes me off and lays on his back. "I wanna see you," he says and I feel my stomach drop. He wants to actually watch me as I fuck him? Okay, I guess if he's into that...

I position myself between his legs and he wraps them around my hips. I open the bottle of lube and I slick my fingers up with it before leaning down to kiss Winston again. I don't want him to watch me finger him.

He rests his hands on my arms and I try to focus on kissing him as I reach between us to find his hole. He gasps when I run one cold finger over the rim in circles. I keep going and he squirms underneath me.

"Please," he breaths out so I give in and I force one finger inside. It takes him just a moment to get used to it and I move it in and out. After a few seconds, I add a second finger. He whines softly against my mouth but I silence him by kissing him and I continue to scissor my fingers inside of him.

"Please, Monty," he then chokes out and I lean closer to his mouth so I can hear what he's saying. "I-I want..."

So now he can't even form a sentence? We've only just started. "Hmm? What?" I ask him but his eyes roll to the back of his head as I keep fingering him and I grab him by the chin to get his attention again. "Tell me what you want baby and I'll give it to you."

I want him to tell me exactly what he wants, exactly what he likes. He moans softly and I add another finger into him to encourage him to answer me. It does the opposite in fact as he can't even seem to open his eyes anymore and I feel a wet trail on my stomach as his cock starts to leak. 

I kiss his cheek, his jaw, his neck and then I move to his ear. "Baby..." I say into his ear and he shivers. "What do you need?"

He squeezes my arm and then he takes a deep breath. "I need _you_. I _need_ you," he says but I still don't think that's enough.

I kiss just below his ear. "Need me where?"

He starts to groan now knowing that I'm purposefully dragging this on. But it's nice for once, seeing him not being able to talk back. It means I'm doing an alright job fucking him.

"Need you inside me," he groans and he digs his nails into my shoulder as he starts to grind on my fingers. "Please, Monty."

I slowly take my fingers out of him and he sighs. Fuck, where's the condom. He gets impatient as I pat the bed and search for the foil so he starts to jerk himself off. I frown.

"Did I say you could touch yourself?" I ask and I raise an eyebrow as I wait for an answer. Winston stares at me and his hand stops moving. "Hmm? Did I say that you could do that?"

It's his fault that this is taking so long, maybe if he just listened to me and I could just look around for the condom...

"No," Winston says and he slowly takes his hand away from his dick. I continue my search for the condom. I find that Winston is laying on top of it and I gently lift his back and take the wrapper from underneath him.

He watches as I rip it open and take it out of the foil before disregarding the wrapper to the floor. At least I know this one won't rip. 

I roll is down my dick and then Winston decides to help. He pours some lube into his hand and then he lubes my cock up with it. It doesn't seem like it's enough but I guess he knows best.

I stay in between his legs as he lays back down. I put one hand by his head and then I guide my cock to his hole. Winn wraps his legs around me even tighter and then presses the back of his heel into my back like he'd trying to push me closer to him.

"Okay, okay. Fucking impatient brat," I mutter and he lets out a small chuckle that turns into a moan when I push the tip of cock inside him. I don't stop, I keep pushing until he's filled up and his face is scrunched up.

I wait as he gets used to the size and he groans and bites down on his lip. I put my hand on his shoulder. "You okay?" He gives me a shaky nod and then he wraps his arms around my chest so that he can dig his nails into my shoulders.

"So can I-"

"Give me a fucking second," he groans and he clenches his jaw. Then he slowly rolls his hips and gives me another nod. "Okay, you can keep going."

So I thrust into him again and he scratches all the way down my back leaving red lines everywhere. I grunt and then I thrust in again. He just digs his nails in deeper and yelps. 

"Monty," he says once and then he starts muttering it quietly like it's the only word he knows. 

I keep going, encouraged by his moans and groans and the nails digging into my back. I don't speed up though, I just thurst into him hard and slow at a steady pace just to loosen him up first.

He moans with every thrust and I lean down and press my forehead into his shoulder. My hair starts to stick to my forehead but I keep going at the same pace.

"Monty..." Winston says and he tries to move his hips to meet me. I hold him down and he groans. "Monty, fuck, I... I need-"

I thrust into him harder and then he almost screams and starts shredding at my back again. I don't know what the fuck just happened but he seems to like it so I thrust into it again. He manages to muffle a loud groan but I feel his legs shake around me and then his cock leaks from the tip and precome runs down the side.

"Faster. Faster, fuck," Winston manages to sob out and I eventually decide to give in and give him what he needs.

I thrust into him hard and fast until I feel sweat drip down my back. I need to keep up the pace but it's hard when he's so fucking tight and I'm this close to losing it. 

"Fuck, so good..." Winston slurs into my ear as I keep pounding into him. I pull away just a little to be able to see his face but he takes me by surprise when he comes. His eyes flutter closed and his lips part slightly. His come hits me in the stomach and I try to keep it together but my thrusts become messy.

He clenches around me and I slam my cock into him one last time before coming into the rubber. I stay like that for a moment and then I slowly start thrusting back into him again. He whines softly so I turn his head to me and I kiss him. Fuck, he deserves it.

Once I'm finally done coming, I pull out of him and he winces. I don't bother with the condom just yet, I'm too tired. I collapse on top of him and he grunts.

His head is titled back as he pants and tries to catch his breath after... _that._

I place a small kiss on his shoulder and then I rub my nose against his cheek. "You're so pretty when you come," I whisper and he scoffs but then starts grinning.

I wish he'd say something back but he just lays there, breathing heavily and holding onto me tightly. I let him hold me for a minute or two just to get him to calm down and then I pull away. 

I throw the used condom into the trash in my bathroom where I also clean myself up and when I come back out, Winston is laying looking dazed on my bed. He smiles at me when I lay down next to him.

"Hey," he says softly and I brush some wet hair away from his forehead. I'd ask him if he wants to shower but he looks like he just wants to sleep. 

I pull him closer to me so that his head is resting on my chest and I wrap my arms around him. He sighs and I kiss the top of his head. "You, erm... You came without..."

I mean, I'm pretty sure both his hands were scratching my back when we came so in case he managed to jerk himself off and I didn't notice...

He blushes and tries to cover his face by burying it into my chest. "Mhm," he says and I laugh at how embarrassed he's gotten.

"Not so cocky now, eh?" I say and he chuckles. 

"Too tired," he mumbles and then he kisses my chest. "Goodnight."

I laugh at him and then he smiles and closes his eyes as he settles himself to sleep. I hold him in my arms and I rub his back up and down.

So I fucked him. And I liked it. It doesn't seem weird.

***

I can feel something gently touching my face. At first, I think it's a fly and I try to shake it off but then I hear a giggle.

I open my eyes and Winston is laying next to me, grinning and tracing his finger over my face. "'Morning," he says and he doesn't stop grinning.

I smile at him and I close my eyes for a few seconds before opening them again. "You stayed," I mumble and then I stretch in the bed. I think Chloe slept over twice, she was always gone by the morning and I woke up to an empty bed.

But Winston is here, moving closer and closer to me and then he starts poking at my face again. I groan and turn my head away. "What are you doing?" I ask him sleepily and he turns my head towards him again.

I lay there and I stare at him as he traces his finger over my cheeks, my nose and then my other cheek. He's really focused on whatever he's doing. "I'm counting your freckles," he tells me and I raise an eyebrow. "You've got so many." They're usually not that visible until the summer and it looks like Winn just realised now.

"What time is it?" I ask after a moment of just letting him count the dots on my face. 

He shrugs. "Late."

Fortunately, I don't have work today. Or the whole week actually. There's too many of us wanting to work during the summer so the Bakers separate us into two groups and we work in turns. That way we can all make money and have a fun summer at the same time.

I nod and then I turn on my side to try to get some sleep. I hear Winston scoff. "Hey, don't. I wanna talk to you," he says and he hugs me from behind and rests the side of his face against my back.

"About what?" I ask sleepily.

"Anything," he says. "I just wanna talk to you." I'm still naked from last night but then I realise that he's wearing a T-shirt, _my_ T-shirt and when I look under the bedsheets-

"Are those my boxers?" I ask and I turn to look at him. He simply grins and I roll my eyes. Then I see that the bedroom looks cleaner than it did last night. There's no condom wrapper on the floor, no clothes and my bag is unpacked. I sigh. "Did you look through my shit again?" He nods slowly and then kisses my shoulder. "Winn..."

"I'm sorry," he says quickly. "But you were asleep and I was bored." I really don't mind him looking through my stuff for some reason and I just groan and lay my head back against the pillow as he kisses me back.

"You've got freckles on your back too," he says and then I feel him joining the dates with his finger. He stops when he reaches the tattoo. He sighs. "I want a tattoo too," he then says and he crawls over me and lays on my other side so that I'm facing him again.

"Yeah?" I ask and I raise an eyebrow. "What would William think?" William hates that I have a tattoo on my arm that means nothing to me, he hates that Diego has a dumb tattoo of a dick on his upper thigh, he hates that we treat permanent tattoos like it's a bit of fun. He just has to make such a big deal out of nothing.

Winston rolls his eyes. "Don't care," he says and he shrugs. "I'm almost eighteen, I can have a tattoo if I want to." I nod and then I trace my finger over his collarbone and then to his shoulder.

"What tattoo would you like?" I ask him just for entertainment purposes. Okay, he's eighteen and I support random tattoos but I also want to make sure he doesn't get anything stupid. Tony could do it if I asked nicely.

Winston shrugs. "You choose," he says and he smiles at me. I think for a second and then I lean over him to reach the nightstand. I hope there's still a sharpie in the top drawer where I left it.

I take it out and Winston stays still as I hold his arm and start writing on it with the market. He doesn't look until I'm finished and when he does, he grins and then looks at me. 

"And you said you weren't going soft," he says as I put the marker away. I look at his arm and the _'BABY_ ' that I wrote on it and even I can't help but smile.

"Oh, shut it," I say and he laughs. I lay on my back and Winston crawls on top of me. He's acting like he lives here already. "You know, you're gonna have to go back to Scott's soon." William is probably counting all the seconds that Winston is away from him and he's already planning on grounding him. I like having Winston around but it's Scott's family that he's staying with.

"Why?" Winn asks and he strokes my jawline with his finger.

"Because all your stuff is there, baby."

"I'll bring my stuff over here," he says and he smiles. I sigh and then his face falls. "I know, I know... I just really don't wanna see William right now."

I nod and then we just lay in silence for a moment while I play with his hair. "So..."

Winston sighs. "I think I heard Tony leave with Estela a while ago," he tells me. "How long do you think till they'll be back?"

Ah, of course. I've forgotten about the dog and that Tony promised to take him to the vet. I guess Estela just hitched along a ride, Tony is like a brother to her after all. 

"Maybe... Two, three hours?" I say and Winston hums. 

"That's enough time to-"

"To shower and get dressed before Tony comes back? Yeah, I agree," I say and I push him off of me as he starts giggling. Fuck, last night was... Something else and fuck it was amazing. But do I wanna do it again? I would but knowing my father, he'll walk in here in ten minutes because he needs my help with a car. I'd rather not risk him finding me in bed with Winston. Or with anyone for that matter.

***

Turns out it's not my father that needs my help today though. It's my mother. My dad is working in the garage by himself, humming along to the song on the radio and I'm in the kitchen making lunch while Winston keeps my company. 

Something came up at my mother's work and she has to fill in so she put her favourite child in charge of making dinner.

"You're telling me that you knew how to cook all this time and you still made the rest of us eat Justin's burnt burgers?" Winston asks as I chop up the tomatoes.

"Mhm." He's sat by the dining table so I can't see him but I know he's watching my every move. "Are you staying for lunch?" We often have Scott or Diego or Charlie over for lunch so I'm sure that my parents wouldn't mind.

"I'd love to," Winston says and I sigh knowing that there's a 'but' coming. "But William told me to get my ass home as soon as possible while you were in the shower."

I turn my head just so I can look at him and I scoff. I add the chopped up tomatoes to the Lecsó cooking in the pan. "So why are you still here?" You'd think Winston would be getting home now but instead, he's sat in my kitchen watching me cook.

He shrugs. "I'm waiting for the dog to come back," he says. "I kinda came up with a name."

"Yeah?" That's a relief, it means that I can stop worrying about having to come up with something. But still, it's the dog, not me, that's making him stay here.

"Yeah," he says and then he grins when I turn my body and I lean against the counter. "Junior Wrestling Champion 2012." He tries to keep a straight face and then he bursts out laughing.

"Oh, fuck off," I say but I'm laughing too. And then I take a second to think about it. "Champion..."

Winston perks up. "Champ for short?"

"Sounds good to me," I say and he grins. So we finally decided on a name together and we both like it.

I turn the pan off after a few minutes and I just let it simmer. Winston sighs when he walks over. "Really wish I could stay for lunch..." He looks at the pan longingly so I pick a spoon up from the counter and I take a spoonful from the pan.

Winston smiles when I blow on the food to make it slightly cooler. "Open up," I say and I put the spoon in his mouth when he does as he's told. He grins at me as he swallows and then he licks his lips. "Do you like it?"

He nods. "Yeah, it's nice. Just... Spicy." Ah, yes. Maybe I should have warned him. I lean forward and I kiss him briefly. He tastes like the tomato sauce and he's right, it does taste nice.

We're both smiling when we pull away and then Winston tries to lean in again. I put my hand on his chest to stop him from moving any closer. He frowns, he may not be able to hear the engine of Tony's car but I can.

That was fast, there were gone for just under two hours. Maybe they didn't need to stay long at the vet.

Winston and I go outside to meet them and I check if I've turned the stove off once again. Tony and Estela are both smiling when they get out of the car. Tony just says hey to us before my dad calls him over to help.

"So?" I ask Estela and I take Champ from her. He yawns once he's in my arms and Winston starts fussing over him again.

"He's all alright," she tells me with a grin. "The vet checked him out and it just looks like he ran away from home or something. She's, you know, gonna check if anyone's missing a dog."

Winston immediately groans but I just nod. Obviously there was that possibility that Champ belonged to someone.

"Hey, 'Stela, can you stir the Lecsó in the kitchen?" I say in an attempt to get rid of her.

"We're having Lecsó?" she asks and I nod. "Wow, you're cooking? What's the occasion?" Her eyes rest on Winston but he's too busy playing with Champ to notice.

"Yeah, something came up with mom," I say and then I sigh. "Just stir the Lecsó 'Stela." She raises her eyebrows at Winn when she's walking past and he laughs.

I wait until she's out of earshot and then I look up at Winn. He doesn't look happy.

"I _really_ have to go now," he says apologetically and he pouts. "But I'll... I'll see you soon?"

"Sure," I say and I scratch Champ behind the ears. "If William grounds you just let me know and I'll sneak you out." What's William gonna punish him for this time? Winston is basically an adult and William can fuck off.

"Okay," Winston says and he chuckles lightly. Then he looks down at his feet and he licks his lips. Neither of us has really said anything about last night but it's not awkward. "So..."

 _"Go,_ " I tell him. "I don't want you getting in trouble." He smiles. I'd kiss him goodbye but my dad is nearby and then there's my sister too. They don't know about what us guys do with each other and I'd like it if it stayed that way.

So instead I watch as Winston walks away from me and I'm glad that I at least have the dog to keep me company.

"Hey! What about your bags!" I shout after him and he turns around and laughs but continues walking backwards. Hopefully, he doesn't get lost.

"I need an excuse to come back, don't I?" He grins and then he turns away again. He's got a point, William will have to let him come see me again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it, leave a comment if you did :)


	14. Smeared Mascara

**Chapter Four**

Winston hasn't replied to a single one of my texts last night and for a minute I worry that he's freaking out about us sleeping together. And then I remember that his brother is a crazy controlling motherfucker.

After spending almost the whole of yesterday with Tony and my dad, they don't pester me into helping them today. I told them that I'm heading over to Scott's and they let me go. Because I am. Going to Scott's that is. Obviously I just wanna see how my best friend is doing.

Champ has been accepted into the family and Estela didn't need any persuasion to agree to look after him for today.

Scott is sat outside on the bench when I walk up the path. He's got his sunglasses on and his head is tilted back like he's trying to tan.

"Scotty! Hey!" I shout and it looks like he was actually sleeping. He takes his glasses off and then rubs his eyes while I walk towards him.

"Hey," He says sleepily and I sit down next to him. "What you doing here?"

I shrug. Do I need a reason to come over? "Just wanted to see you," I say and Scott rolls his eyes because we both know that I'm not here to see _him_. "So what are you doing out here?"

Scott groans and he rubs his hands up and down his face. "Just needed a break from the shouting."

"Shouting?" Scott's parents rarely argue, in fact, I don't think I've ever heard them argue and mean it. So it must be serious if they're shouting.

"Yeah, it's like World War Williams in there," Scott then tells me and my face falls. So it's not his parents arguing, it's William and Winston.

"What about?" I ask even though I already have my suspicions. 

Scott sighs. "I don't even know... They fucking argue all the time as long as they're in the same room," he tells me and he pushes his hair away from his face. "They're only arguing this loud 'cos my parents aren't around. William wouldn't embarrass himself like that in front of 'Mr and Mrs Reed'."

Scott sounds annoyed and spiteful and I suddenly remember something. "Did you and Wiliam... Did you talk about...?" They kissed just before Scott set off for the road trip and things were bound to be awkward between them now. Hopefully, William can swallow his pride and forget about it because I already know that Scott is too embarrassed to even mention it.

He quickly shakes his head and then clears his throat like he wants to change the topic. "So I don't wanna go inside," he says. "And I don't think the argument is ending anytime soon so... Do you wanna hang out maybe? With me?"

It seems like ages ago that I've hung out with Scott but we're practically always spending time together. And when Winston goes back to the city, Scott will still be here.

I stand up from the bench. "Come on then," I say and Scott grins at me. "But you decide what we do because I'm done thinking for today."

Scott agrees and then he stands up too and puts on the shirt that's laying next to him. I'm wearing a shirt too, haven't taken it off since yesterday morning. I don't want anyone to see the markings on my back.

It's not like I'm ashamed of people knowing that I slept with Winston, the guys thought we did long ago anyway, I just don't want them making comments. I feel like that will be too uncomfortable.

Scott calls up some of the guys while we're walking down the path and in the end we all decide to meet up.

"Kinda sucks that Winston can't be here, right?" I say and Scott snorts.

"Yeah, miss your boyfriend already?" he teases me and I nudge him.

"He's just a friend," I mutter and Scott laughs in response. Winston _is_ just a friend. A temporary friend who's not gonna stick around forever. I can't be getting attached.

Scott already has a dumb grin on his face like he's gonna say something stupid. "So how's your punishment going along?" I ask him before he can continue the teasing.

Scott shrugs and his shoulders slump. "I don't know, Bryce just said that he and Justin thought of something and they're gonna tell me more soon."

"Wow, can't wait," I say and Scott sighs. If Bryce and Justin came up with something, you know it's gonna be good.

***

Justin and Bryce won't tell us anything about the punishment. Even when they're both high, they still won't say a word.

We stayed at the beach for an hour or two, just laying on the sand and smoking weed. It's really fucking boring without Winston around. At least for me, it is.

Scott is still trying to find out what his punishment is so I can't talk to him, Charlie and Diego are snuggling up to each other and Diego is playing with Charlie's hair while they talk about something. I don't wanna interrupt them.

In the end, I crash Zach's and Alex's conversation by sitting in between them.

"Hey, guys. Looking for a third wheel?" I ask and Alex rolls his eyes. Zach smiles at me and I notice that he hasn't taken his t-shirt off either. We're the only ones wearing shirts.

"So where's Winston?" Zach asks and I'm glad that he's not calling Winston my boyfriend like everyone else. Zach understands me. "Why isn't he with us?"

I shrug. "I think William grounded him or something."

Zach frowns. "Wait... So William grounded him and instead of saying 'fuck William' and helping Winston sneak out, you're... What are you doing?"

I stare at him and then when I look at Alex he raises his eyebrows like he agrees with what Zach is saying. "But... He and William, they were like arguing and-"

"And?" Zach interrupts me. "So now you're scared to stand up to William?"

I glare at him. No, I just thought that it would be better to let Winston and William deal with whatever's going on between them and not interrupt. I know that William is a dick but I also know that William is supposed to look after Winston. I don't want him to send Winston back home or anything.

Alex then clears his throat. "Monty, do you really think Winston would rather stay home and argue with his brother than sneak out with you?" he asks me and I slowly shake my head. "So go over there and drag him away from William."

We talk about it for a few more minutes and they don't need to say much to convince me to go over there and get Winston out. Hopefully, William doesn't get too mad.

"So, boys," Bryce says and he claps his hands like he always does whenever he wants our attention. "I hear there's a party in town. Who wants to go?"

We don't ask who's throwing it or any specifics, we don't care. We just wanna go have fun.

Bryce and Justin make it clear that Scott has to go and they make it part of his punishment. What are those fuckers up to? 

Zach and Alex agree to go straight away and I say that _maybe_ I'll go. I'll ask Winston if he wants to go first. 

"Diego? Charlie?" Bryce asks and he looks their way as Charlie rests his head on Diego's shoulder. Diego shrugs and then looks at Charlie like he needs his boyfriend's permission to go anywhere.

"Might be fun?" he says to Charlie and Charlie shrugs like he doesn't really care if they go or not.

"Alright," Bryce says. "So see you guys at the party? Eight ish? I'll send you the address."

Eight, so I'll have plenty of time to get ready and then go over to Scott's to grab Winston. Or I could just ask Scott to sneak him out.

"Oh and Scott?" Justin says and then he grins. "You're coming with us. It's part of your punishment."

Scott groans. "How many parts are there?"

"Not asking questions is part of your punishment too now," Bryce adds and we laugh when Scott rolls his eyes. Okay, so Scott can't help me. It's fine, I'll sort it out somehow.

***

**Winston's POV**

William stopped screaming at me as soon as Scott's parents got home. He locked himself in his room with my phone and I'm pretty sure that he's snitching on me to our parents right now.

I feel shitty for not being able to text Monty or at least tell him what's going on. I can't even sneak out, while we were at the cabin, William told Scott's parents to fix the 'broken' window and they did. I can't use the front door unless I'm willing to risk William catching me and using it to convince my parents to send me back home. So now I'm stuck in my room.

I decide to do something with my time and I get to work developing the photographs I took over the weekend. I took the film out of my cameras but I left my cameras at Monty's house. There's not many but they've got to be my favourite photographs yet. Mostly because almost all of them are of Monty smiling or laughing.

I try to focus on the photos but I can't help but replay my argument with William in my head. He started saying all those ridiculous things, how he stayed up all night worrying about me, how I could have at least sent him a text and how I'm going to regret not listening to him.

 _"Wait till I tell dad, he'll fly you out to the city before the end of tomorrow,"_ William said and I remember shouting at him, telling him that I'm not going anywhere.

This was supposed to be _my_ summer, they can't take it away from me like they do with everything else.

I know that Scott's not home. I tried going into his room and I was prepared to beg him to ask him to let me use his phone. I just really need to at least let Monty know that William is being a dickhead again.

I wonder how Champ is doing. I bet Monty is taking good care of him. I smile to myself as I sort through the pictures. I sort them out by dates. There are no pictures from my first night here but I find that as each day passes, there are more and more pictures of Monty on the pile.

I had sex with him. Just thinking about it makes me feel hot all over and I still can't believe that it actually happened. It was better than anything else I've ever done, better than anything I've ever imagined.

I just hope he's not gonna avoid me now. He hasn't avoided me yesterday but I have this bad feeling that maybe he'll overthink it and feel bad about it. I hope he doesn't, I really like him and I don't want him to stop speaking to me.

The marker tattoo on my arm is still there. Slightly faded but still there. William saw it yesterday and he raised an eyebrow but he didn't comment. I could tell that he wasn't impressed though. William never is when it comes to me.

I took some pictures of Monty while he was sleeping and I feel like a creep looking back at them. I don't know what it is about him, he just manages to look perfect in every single photo.

I think I'm falling for him way too hard. And I don't even know if he feels the same.

My bedroom is slowly becoming a Monty shrine, fuck.

I want to go back to Monty's and collect my stuff from last night. I tried to tell William that I left some of my stuff there but he wasn't even listening to me. He's been talking on that phone for a while now, I hope dad's not actually gonna take his side like he always does.

There's a loud bang on the front door that startles me. I wait to hear William's footsteps coming down the stairs but there's nothing. Scott's parents are in the back garden so they obviously can't hear. The knocking continues and I realise that it's probably Scott coming back from wherever he was. 

I could let him stay out there for a minute or two longer but the banging noise intensifies and if I don't want William to get down here, I need to get over there and open the door.

But when I open the door, it's not Scott.

Monty usually looks nice. He always manages to look good but now... He really looks perfect. He's wearing a white button-up shirt with pam trees and black shorts and he looks like he brushed his hair for once.

"Hey?" he says and he smiles at me uncertainly. Wait, is he... Nervous? "I would have used the kitchen window but I saw that Scott's parents were there so..."

"Don't bother," I say. "William 'fixed' the window." I realise that we can't be talking on the doorstep and that William is gonna storm down the stairs in a minute. "Hey, come in."

He nods and then he walks past me. My heart skips a beat when his shoulder brushes past mine and I quickly lock the door behind him and take a deep breath. He follows me silently to my room and I'm already regretting not putting the photographs away.

Monty doesn't seem to mind when he notices them on my desk. He just takes a look and then he gives me a small nod. I wonder where Scott is but I don't wanna bring Scott up.

"So what are you doing here?" I ask him and I sit on the edge of my bed. At least I know that he's not avoiding me but he still seems nervous. "Did you miss me already?"

I grin and he relaxes slightly. He stands by my desk with the photographs, leans against the wall and crosses his arms over his chest. I can't focus on anything else but the veins on his arms.

"I told you I was gonna sneak you out if William grounded you," he tells me and then he bites his lip. "William did ground you, right? That's why you're not answering your phone?"

I just stare at him and I'm smiling before I know it. So that's why he's nervous. He was worried that _I_ was avoiding _him._

"Yeah, yeah," I say quickly. "Yeah, William just... He really freaked out." William is gonna kill me if I let Monty sneak me out. He's gonna walk me back home if he has to. "I don't know if sneaking out is a good idea..."

Monty frowns and his eyebrows furrow. "What? Why?" he asks, he unpeels himself away from the wall and starts walking towards me. My heart immediately starts to thud and my brain involuntarily makes up scenarios of what could happen next with him being so close to me. 

He stands over me and raises an eyebrow. "Since when do you listen to William?"

"Who said this is about William?" I challenge him and he looks confused. I look him up and down and I shrug. "Maybe I just need some persuasion."

As if I'm just gonna go out with him with no question, I like making him work for it. His eyebrows twitch upwards and he stays where he is for a second. I wait for him to kick into motion but he always gets taken by surprise whenever I tease him.

He gently pushes me back onto the bed and I can already feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. I move up the bed and Monty slowly gets on top of me so that he's trapped between my legs.

He doesn't do anything at first. I wrap my legs around his waist and he lifts my chin with his index finger. His eyes stay focused on my lips and I'm just waiting for him to kiss me.

He doesn't. He pushes my hair back with his hand and then he kisses my forehead. My eyes flutter closed and I let out a soft sigh that I didn't even mean to make.

I expected Monty to maybe tease me a bit, ask if that's enough to change my mind but instead, he pulls away and smiles down at me. This isn't the Monty that I'm used to but I'm not complaining.

"Please... Will you... Go to a party with me?" he asks and he leaves small kisses on my cheek every time he pauses. 

I nod unable to make out any words. Not because I'm horny (which I am, always am around him) but because I'm shocked at how sweet he's being to me. It's something I haven't experienced before. With anyone. 

He pulls away giving me some space to breathe but my heart is still hammering inside of my chest and my lips still feel tingly. I pout at him. "But I wanted a kiss."

He slightly raises one eyebrow looking amused. "You got a kiss baby," he tells me simply and he caresses my cheek with his thumb. I'd argue with him but his pet name for me makes my heart skip a beat and I need a moment to get it together.

He gets on his feet and he stands at the foot of the bed while I lay there wondering what happened along the way that made me fall so hard for him.

"Come on, get dressed before William comes in here and drags me out by the hair," Monty tells me and I sigh. He's right, I wouldn't want anything to happen to his hair. Only I can tug at his hair.

I sit up and decide to tease him a little. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" I ask and it looks like Monty is only getting better and better at his comebacks.

He leans in, rests his hands on the bed so that he's at eye level with me. "What's wrong..." he says quickly as he moves closer so that his lips are grazing past my ear. "Is that I want you in a skirt."

My heart has never beat this fast before. It's like Monty is making me discover things about my body that I didn't even know were possible. 

I knew bringing a bunch of skirts with me would be a good idea.

***

**Monty's POV**

Winston skips by my side like a child while I try my best to light the joint in my hand. I want to smoke it before I get to the party because I already know that Justin will pounce at me when he finds out that I have weed. That guy is a fucking junkie or something.

"Can I?" Winston asks me when I take the first hit. The first one is always the worst which is why Scott often makes me start off even though he rolls the joint.

I exhale and then I pass the joint to him. I don't take my eyes off of him, or more specifically his skirt. He's wearing a pink checkered one with a black turtleneck t-shirt tucked into it. He's even got a belt on his skirt and it moves with every step takes. 

We're not walking on the sandy part anymore, we're walking through the town centre because the party is right on the other side of town. I offered to get us a car a few minutes ago but Winston said he preferred walking. 

Winston passes the joint back to me and I hold my hand close to his longer than I need to. There are people all around the town centre, it's half-past seven so they're all either going to pubs or clubs and they're slightly drunk. On Monday night for fuck's sake.

I'm staying close to Winn, I've seen how the men are looking him up and down and raising their eyebrows at his skirt. I'm sure that most of them have fucked around with a guy before so I don't trust them to go anywhere near Winston. 

I put my hand on his waist and I pull him closer to me so that our hips are touching. I need those guys to understand that Winn is here with me and they better stay the fuck away. They know who I am, who my father is, who we're friends with. They wouldn't want to mess with us.

I continue smoking my joint and my hand squeezes Winston's hip. "What happens when William finds out you sneaked out?" I ask him. How far will William go to punish Winston?

Winston laughs. "He's gonna send me back home." I roll my eyes at how dramatic he's being. William won't send him back home over something like this.

"Yeah, right." I take another hit and then I pass the joint to Winston. I don't want him to smoke too much but I'm fine with giving him an occasional hit.

He takes it from me. "I'm not joking, William _will_ send me home. He's already threatened it," he tells me and he sounds slightly amused like he enjoys pissing William off. 

I frown not really sure if he's being serious. "What about your parents? Aren't they gonna like..."

"What? Take my side?" Winston finishes for me and he rolls his eyes. "Have you not listened to anything I told you about my parents?" He looks away and he exhales the smoke through his lips. I take the join from him and then put my other hand on his hip and pin him against the nearby wall of a building. There isn't anyone around to see us and if they are, were just talking.

He stares at me looking confused and I sigh. "You haven't really told me much about your parents." If he has, it was in the form of jokes and all I was able to get from that is that his parents prefer William over him.

He sighs like he doesn't want to talk about it right now and then looks down at his feet. 

"Winn..." I say softly and he looks back up to meet my eyes. I loosen my grip on his hips but I still hold him still. He's not making any effort to struggle.

"I don't wanna talk about them," he mumbles and I reach to push a strand of hair behind his ear. He tilts his head to the side and smiles at me. "Can we just... Go to the party?" He puts his hands on either side of my face and he tries to smile. But I'm not letting him change the topic this easily.

"Winston..."

He groans. "Can I tell you after?" After? When is 'after'? He seems to realise that we're both thinking about it. "I could... go back to yours after?" he suggests and I slowly nod. We'll have a lot of time to... talk when we're at mine.

I'm distracted already thinking about our plans later tonight and Winston takes the opportunity to bring my head closer and kiss me. I haven't kissed him earlier so I knew that he probably hasn't stopped thinking about it. And now the kiss confirms it.

It's needy and he wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me closer until our bodies are pressed together. Do we even need to go to that party? We could just skip and-

But Winston pulls away and he grins at me. "So are we going to that party or what?"

I pull myself away from him and he slips his hand in mine and starts skipping forward again. I chuckle at him and I notice that he doesn't stop grinning as we walk on.

***

"When did they say they were gonna be here?" I ask and Charlie tells me but I can't hear him over the music. "Huh?"

Winston and I arrived at the party just fifteen minutes ago or so and we're still trying to find a spot for us so we can sit in peace.

The whole of downstairs isn't an option as it's a mess of dancing people and too loud music.

Winston is hanging onto me for dear life as people almost topple him over when they barge past. 

We've only managed to find Diego and Charlie and they're following us as we push past the crowd.

Eventually, we find a space upstairs. It's on the balcony and there's two couches, a table and a pool table. It's a pretty large balcony.

Charlie and Winston sit together on the couch while Diego and I play some pool for a while. We have a whole view of the party going on outside by the pool. We can even see the stretch of land where most of them parked their cars.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I tell Diego to wait. When I pull it out I see that it's Zach calling.

"Hey," I say and I rest my hands on the cue stick.

"Hey, we just got here," Zach tells me and there's no loud music in the background so I'm guessing he's not inside yet. "Where are you guys?"

"On this balcony, just- Wait," I say and then I turn the phone away from my mouth. "Winston? Charlie?" They stop their conversation and look at me. "Look over at the cars, can you see Zach anywhere?"

Diego sips on his drink as Charlie and Winston search for Zach. Then Winston lifts his hand and starts waving.

"Can you see them?" I ask Zach through the phone.

"Huh? What- Oh, yeah," he says. "They're right there, I'll see you guys in a sec. Bye."

After Zach hangs up on me, we continue our game and I win which pisses Diego off. "Fuck off," he says and he throws the stick onto the table. That immediately gets Charlie's attention.

"Hey, you okay?" Charlie asks and he stands up and walks over to Diego. Diego seems to find it funny that Charlie is fussing over something as little as that.

"I'm okay, I swear," Diego laughs and then he cradles Charlie's face and pulls him in for a kiss.

I'm the winner here, why am _I_ not getting a kiss?

I leave them to it when Diego pushes Charlie against the pool table and starts making out with him.

"I won," I tell Winston when I walk over to him. I can already tell he's thinking about something because he's got that expression on his face.

"Mhm," he says and he doesn't stop grinning. I'm actually starting to panic now, what is he thinking about?

"What?" I ask him and he just starts laughing.

"Nothing," he says and then he moves up the couch to make space for me. I sit down and he immediately settles into my lap. Okay, this is an alright reward.

I wonder what's taking Zach and Alex so long to get here. But it's nice having a moment with him without getting interrupted.

I put my hands on the back of Winn's thighs and move him to straddle me. He giggles. "So what now?" he asks me and I'm trying my best to hold onto his skirt so it doesn't move up.

I shrug and so he leans in and places a kiss on my lips. I keep kissing him, thinking about us in my bedroom and-

"I see it got a bit coupley in here," I hear Zach say and I immediately pull away from Winston. My lips are slightly swollen and I lick over them.

"What took you so long?" I ask Zach. He and Alex go and sit down on the other couch. Justin follows them.

"We bumped into these guys," Zach tells me and he points to Justin who is then joined by Bryce and- Scott?

Winston turns his body so that he's sat with his back facing me and he also stares at Scott. We _all_ stare at Scott.

"What the hell happened to him?" Diego asks and it's what every single one of us is thinking. Bryce and Justin laugh.

Scott is wearing a tight red dress, like six-inch heels and a face full of makeup. He's holding a purse and he looks so done with all of us.

"We're gonna see if we can get any of the guys to hit on him," Justin says and I realise that that's Scotty's punishment. I think they're going too far but a punishment is a punishment.

Justin and Bryce leave with Scott wobbling along on his heels. The rest of us decide not to comment on it, Zach just raises his eyebrows at me in an unimpressed manner and then goes on to talk about some guy he bumped into on his way in.

"Yeah, he was so fucking wasted," Alex adds with a shake of his head. "Have you been here long?"

"We've been here for like an hour now," Charlie says and he points to Diego. They walk over and sit next to me and Winn because we've got more space on our couch. Charlie doesn't sit in Diego's lap but he puts his leg is in between Diego's.

I don't realise that I'm playing with the hem of Winston's skirt until Zach's eyes rest on my hands. He looks like he wants to comment on the skirt but then he thinks better of it. He must remember what happened the last time he said something about Winston's skirt.

"Come play some pool with me," Zach says to Alex and so they leave to the other side of the balcony.

It's slightly awkward with all of us still thinking about Scott and that the punishment may be a bit much. Sure, a punishment is a punishment but they're straight-up humiliating Scott and no one's enjoying it.

"Hey, I think I want a drink," Winston says casually and then he slides off my lap. He holds his hand out. "Come with me?"

So I give an apologetic smile to the guys and then I take Winston's hand. He guides us through the balcony door and then down the hallway. We pass the stairs which is where we should be going if we want to get a drink.

He stops when we reach a quiet corner and then before I can react, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a hug.

Well, this isn't what I expected.

He rests his head on my shoulder and I hug him back. I kiss his shoulder not really sure what's going on and why he's holding onto me so tightly.

"What's up with you?" I ask him softly and he just sighs.

"Bryce and Justin are fucking dickheads for making Scott uncomfortable," he mumbles not really answering my question.

"Yeah, I thought that was a bit much," I agree with him and I rub my hands up and down his back. Punishments are meant to be punishments but they're also meant to be fun. Like even the dick tattoo on Diego's thigh, he was pissed off about it but in the end, all of us found it funny. Scott's punishment just makes the rest of us uncomfortable.

"Can't you tell them to stop?" Winston asks softly and he doesn't even move an inch, he stays where he is with his hands wrapped tightly around me.

"They're not gonna listen to me." Bryce doesn't listen to me full stop and I could get Justin to listen to me but once he sees that Bryce doesn't give a fuck about what I have to say, he's gonna stop caring too.

"Can you at least try?" I don't understand why Winston cares so much. In all honesty, I didn't even think he liked Scott but now he's here standing up for him. I should really just listen to him and get the guys to stop.

"Okay," I say and Winston relaxes. He let's go of me and I kiss him lightly. "Go back to the guys, I'll try to find Scott."

He nods but he's reluctant to leave me. He takes a few steps back while still holding onto my hand and then his fingers slip away and he leaves.

***

I've been looking for Scott or Bryce or Justin for a while now, even asking around if anyone's seen them but no one has.

My eyes finally spot a familiar face. Brad. And sure enough, when I walk closer, I see that Bryce is with him.

"Hey!" They don't hear me and I try again this time a bit louder. Brad spots me first. He immediately brings his hand up to the swollen bruises on his face as if remembering that I'm the one who did that to him.

He says something to Bryce and then Bryce turns around and grins at me. God, he's so fucking drunk.

"Where's Scott? Or Justin?" I ask him and he shrugs. "Are you still going on with that dumb punishment?"

Bryce scoffs like I've insulted him. "I don't fucking know, Justin said he was gonna take care of it." Bryce is too drunk to care, he just turns around and resumes his conversation with Brad.

Maybe Justin gave up on his stupid punishment now? I can only hope.

I go outside to get some fresh air and maybe look for Justin. The air inside is suffocating and I hate it.

I don't see Justin or Scott and I slowly walk around the house looking for those two motherfuckers.

I eventually spot Scott but his back is facing me. I only know that it's him because of the dress. It looks like he's tapping on his phone screen and I slowly walk towards him. He's not wearing his heels anymore, his feet are bare and his dress looks messed up.

He brings his phone up to his ear and at that exact moment, my phone starts to vibrate in my pocket. He's calling me. I tap on his shoulder and he jumps from the contact. Then I see his face and I notice that he's been crying. I've never seen Scott cry before. Not proper cry. 

He puts his phone away and then his face starts to crumble. The smeared mascara on his face makes him look ridiculous and I'm not really sure how to react.

"Scott? Are you-" He throws his arms around my neck and then he starts sobbing -actually _sobbing_ \- into my shoulder. Now I'm really fucking worried. Did Justin go too far with the punishment?

"It's okay," I whisper and I pat his back. I'm not used to comforting my friends. It's not exactly normalised around here. Men are meant to be tough and not a crying mess, you know?

But right now Scott is a crying mess and he's muttering something quietly but I can't make out what he's saying. I focus on the words and I manage to make them out.

"I fucked up," Scott keeps repeating over and over again.

"What's wrong? What happened?" I ask him because he's really not making much sense and an explanation would be nice. Where the fuck is Justin? I wish Winston was here, he'd know what to do. What would Winston do?

"I made a mistake Monty," Scott mutters and I pat his back. He doesn't need to be at a party, he needs someone to look after him right now.

"Come on, let's get you home," I say and Scott nods agreeing with me. He pulls away and I see that he's trembling now. But it's not cold. I decide not to point it out. "Did you drive here?"

Scott nods. "Yeah, but in-in Bryce's car," he tells me and then he opens his purse and gets the car keys out. This would almost be funny if I wasn't so fucking worried about him.

"Okay," I say and I take the keys out of Scott's hand. I put my hand on his lower back and I guide him towards the cars. He doesn't object.

Once we find Bryce's car, I send him a message to say that I took his car to drove Scott home and he can get a ride home with someone else. I lean against the car and Scott sits inside looking straight ahead.

I may be slightly high but I'll be okay to drive. Scott wouldn't be able to focus on driving anyway. 

"Hey! Monty!" I turn around and see Winston walking towards the car. I quickly close the car door so Scott can't hear our conversation and I put my phone away.

"Hey," I say when Winston reaches me. His eyes slide past me and rest on Scott who's sitting in the car.

"Are you leaving?" Winston asks me and he frowns.

I nod. "Yeah, Scott he's... He needs me right now."

"Well _I_ need you too," he says and he takes a step closer to me. "I was gonna stay at yours and tell you about my parents, remember?"

Oh shit, right. I forgot about that. But it's not like I can take both of them home with me. Scott needs some time just with me and right now he's my priority.

"I know baby, I know... " I say and I cradle his face and rest his forehead against mine. He looks up at me with those big hazel eyes of his and he may as well be begging me to pick him over Scott.

"Can I come too? We could drop Scott off at-"

"Scott's gonna stay at mine tonight," I say and Winston immediately moves away from me and frowns. Scott needs peace and quiet, something he won't get around William. Winston will be fine to wait for one more night to talk about his parents.

"Why?" Winston asks and he crosses his arms over his chest. I try to put my hands on his hips and pull him closer but he shakes me off.

"Don't make me choose between you two," I sigh and I rub my temples. He's being really difficult right now and I'm just making Scott wait longer. "Ask Diego or Zach to give you a ride home and-"

Winston scoffs and he looks angry at me now. What does he not understand? Scott needs me right now and he's my friend, I need to help him.

"Winston, can you _please_ stop being difficult? My friend needs me and you're the one who asked me to help him in the first place." I'm frustrated that he's making this into a bigger deal than it is. 

"I thought I was your friend too," he says and then he turns on his heel and starts walking away from me. I shout after him but he doesn't stop. Scott is still waiting in the car. I decide that I can talk to Wiston later, but Scott needs my help _now._

I'll give Winston some time and he'll calm down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed it :)  
> check my Instagram if you have a song suggestion that you think would fit ss wonty  
> I'm trying not to add too much angst and problems to ss so don't worry, all will be good soon :)


	15. Monty Is A Pretty Boy

**Chapter Fifteen**

The only thing I told Estela when I got home was that I have a girl over and I need to borrow some makeup wipes. She looked confused but she gave them to me without asking questions. I just don't wanna go around embarrassing Scott even though almost everyone at that party saw him with a face full of makeup.

He sits on my bed in the dark and I clean his face up with the makeup wipes. I've never seen Scott look this vulnerable, he's usually the only one that doesn't need to be taken care of.

He's not wearing the dress anymore, I let him borrow some of my clothes.

"S-so then none of the guys were, like, taking us seriously? They just laughed me off and Justin got annoyed that the 'punishment' wasn't working out," Scott explains and I hum along and I swipe under his eye where the dried mascara is. 

Scott pauses and he sighs as I throw the makeup wipe on the floor and I take a new one out of the packet. I wipe at his lips where the smudged lipstick is and he tries to smile but he ends up laughing as I rub at his lips. 

"Man, girls do this shit every day?" I joke and he chuckles lightly. I throw that wipe away too and I take another one to just clean the rest of his face up.

"So, erm. Justin. He said he needed to piss so we went to this... bathroom but we kinda..." Scott stops and he looks around the room and swallows. "We kinda ended up in this bedroom and we were both messing around and..." His breathing starts to get heavier and he puts his head in his hands. "Fuck, Monty. I think I'm gay." 

He takes me by surprise but I recover quickly. I put my hand on his shoulder and I squeeze. I knew that this was a possibility ever since he told me that he kissed William. I just didn't want to think about it, I didn't want to think that it was true.

But I'm okay with Winston being gay, I'm fine with Charlie being bisexual or whatever he is. Why shouldn't I be fine with Scott _maybe_ being gay?

"And what if you are?" I ask him quietly and he groans. "Does that really change anything? I don't care who you... kiss or fuck or date. You're still my best friend, alright?" 

Scott was never bothered when it came to guys fucking guys but he had this strict rule that he was never going to mess around with a guy. And when he's around William, he acts like an asshole about these things. Remember the bonfire a week ago?

Scott sighs and then he lays down on my bed. He stares into the distance silently. I have questions for him but... Is it appropriate to ask? 

"What, erm, what happened with Justin?" I ask and Scott starts chewing on his bottom lip. 

He shakes his head. "I don't... I don't know. We just... We kind of ended up... sleeping with each other." I raise an eyebrow not really sure what I just heard. Scott and Justin? Sleeping together?

"He was really drunk and he... After it happened, he said he was gonna go to the bathroom to clean himself up and I..."

"You left him there?" I'm slowly starting to put the pieces together. Why Scott looked like he dressed in a hurry and why he was missing his shoes.

Scott nods. "I don't know what to do... Please tell me what to do."

He covers his face with his hands again and I lay down next to him. I could put my arm around him, but Scott isn't a fan of showing others affection. I'm more likely to cuddle Justin than him.

"First of all," I say and I peel Scott's hands away from his face. "You need to take a deep breath and relax. Whatever you and Justin did... He's also done with Bryce and God knows how many other people. He's still friends with Bryce, isn't he? He's not gonna act differently around you after that."

I thought the problem was that Scott was worried he'd ruin his friendship with Justin and Justin would treat him different. But apparently that's not what Scott is worried about.

"What if he tells someone? I don't want people thinking I'm a fag." Scott says and he stares at me like I'm the answer to all his problems.

I shake my head at Scott. "He's not gonna tell anyone. He's our friend, he'd never tell people."

"But what if he does?" Scott continues and he turns his body so that we're laying down facing each other. "What if he gets really drunk one day and-"

"What if, what if. Stop it, you're just making yourself panic even more," I tell him and telling him off seems to be more effective than giving him advice. "And if- _IF_ he does tell people, it's his word against yours. Just laugh it off, turn it into a joke."

Scott nods slowly understanding what I'm trying to say. "And you'll help me out, right? If anyone-"

"Yes. Anything. Whatever you need, I'll help," I tell him and then he finally relaxes. "Now go to sleep, okay? I'm exhausted."

I'm not. I have enough energy to pull an all-nighter but what Scott needs is sleep. He'll need to be well-rested for tomorrow, I'll need to convince him to talk to Justin.

"Night dad," Scott rolls his eyes and he turns on his side. I stay on my side of the bed and he stays on his. I smile to myself once my eyes are closed and I'm facing the wall.

"Goodnight."

I think I did well for today. I think I'm a good friend.

***

I woke up way before Scott. But that was good, I had a lot of stuff to do. I somehow need to apologize to Winston for leaving him last night.

When Scott woke up, I offered to take him home. Mostly because he was starting to freak out again and he's my ticket into the house. He knows that I need to apologize to Winston and he's kind of helping me out.

"So you're gonna talk to Justin today, right?" I ask Scott as we walk up the path. We drove here in Bryce's car and now it's parked in front of Scott's house.

"Mhm."

"Scott... " I say and I nudge him.

"Yes, fine. I will, okay?" he says and sighs. But then he starts chewing on his lip. "Maybe I could do it tomorrow when-"

"No, you promised. Remember?" I remind him and he nods reluctantly. He needs to talk to Justin as quickly as possible before this whole thing escalates.

He takes out a key from his pocket (I let him borrow my clothes _again_ ) and he opens the door.

"I'll grab a shower and you... Do what you need to do," he says and his eyes rest on the gift that I brought for Winston. I had to go to town to get it and get back before Scott woke up.

He goes up the stairs to shower and I drag my feet through the empty living room and into the kitchen. I wonder why it's so empty and I start to worry. William should be painting his masterpiece in the living room and Scott's parents- Nevermind, they're outside by the pool. But where's William?

I walk into the hallway and I stop outside the guest bedroom. I knock on his door and I lean my shoulder against the door frame.

Please open the door. Please open the door. Please-

He does and he stares at me with wide eyes. I hold up the teddy bear I bought for him. It's a small one, white with heart eyes and a red circle on its stomach. Winston's eyes shift to it and he just stays like that for a second.

Maybe I was wrong and he's more upset than I thought? He did seem pretty upset that I was leaving with Scott last night.

"I'm sorry?" I say uncertainly and then Winston's eyes make contact with mine and his face softens.

"Get in here you idiot," he says. He grabs my arm and pulls me inside before nudging the door with his foot to close it.

I'm about to ask him if he's angry about last night but he puts his hands on either side of my face and he kisses me softly on the lips.

My eyes flutter closed and I kiss him back while I gently hold onto his hip with my other hand. The other one is holding onto the bear.

When we pull away, his eyes are still half-closed and he rests his forehead against mine.

"I got this for you," I say and my mouth suddenly feels dry. I bring the bear up to his face and I make the bear rub his nose against Winston's nose. "Do you like it?"

He gives me a short laugh and then a tear falls down his cheek. Then another.

I frown. Did I do something wrong?

"Hey," I say softly and I start pushing him back towards his bed to get him to sit down. "Hey, it's okay baby. I mean, _are_ you okay? Did I-"

"It's not about you," Winn tells me with a shake of his head. He tries to laugh again but it turns into a sob and he wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand.

I sit him down on the bed and then I sit down next to him. I rest the stuffed animal in my lap and I reach over to place my hand on Winn's knee. I never thought that I was good at comforting people but last night with Scott gave me some confidence.

"What is it? You know you can tell me anything, right?" I say and he manages a brief smile before the tears start again. I can't stand to see him like this. I brush his tears away with my thumb and he just stares at me fondly.

"I know..." he whispers and then he takes a deep breath in. "One of my friends from back home called William last night," he explains and he sniffles. "They, erm, they said that another one of our friends... He..."

The tears start again and I wrap my arms around his shoulders. He rests his head against mine and he tries to stop himself from crying.

"He's in the hospital," Winston sobs and I shush him quietly trying to get him to calm down. "He saw what happened to Peter and he still..."

Peter. That's the guy who overdosed. I remember Winn telling me about him. So another one of his friends has... Not good.

"He's going to be okay," I tell him calmly. "There's nothing you can do, you can't let yourself get so worked up about it." Maybe it's terrible advice but I'm not good at this, I told you.

"I know but..." he says and he sighs. "I just hate sitting here, with you and enjoying myself while they're all over there worrying about him."

Call me selfish, I don't care, but I don't like where this is going. I _want_ Winston to stay here and enjoy himself with me. I don't want him to think about going home anytime soon.

I could say that it's alright if he wants to fly back home to check up on his friend but I keep my mouth shut because I don't like lying to him.

I think he senses that I don't like where this is going and he reaches forward and gently takes the teddy bear from my lap.

"I love it," he says with a grin and he just stares at the white teddy. His eyes have this twinkle to them and he turns to me. "Thank you."

"Are you mad at me? About last night?" I ask him and he scoffs.

Winston shakes his head. "No, I... I'm sorry for overreacting. It was just... I'm so used to hanging out with you and no one really-"

He stops abruptly and I stare at him. "No one really what?" He looks down at his feet. "Winston."

"I don't want you to laugh at me," he says and I frown.

"I'm not going to, just tell me."

So he looks up and he maintains eye contact with me for a few seconds before looking back at his feet again. "No one really... They never ask about my parents or my life or anything about me. They just care about William and that's all." he says and he takes a deep breath. "I just felt like I was getting pushed back into being the second choice again when you left with Scott."

"I wasn't," I tell him. Second choice? I should have known but I was too focused on Scott. Winston told me that people always picked William over him and I was the first person who didn't.

"I know," Winston says now with a small nod. "I know that now. And I'm sorry for acting so... Childish last night?"

I don't reply, I just move closer to him and lean in until our lips are almost touching. I look at his lips, back to his eyes and the at his lips again before leaning in and pressing my lips against his.

He tangles his fingers into my hair and pulls me closer but I move away before the kiss has a chance a turn into much more.

"Why don't we have that conversation we were meant to have last night?" I ask him and I move up the bed. I rest my back against the headboard and Winston sighs before joining me. He rests his head on my chest and I put my arm around him.

"What was the conversation again?" he teases me and I raise an eyebrow. "Okay okay."

He takes a deep breath but doesn't say anything and I move my thumb up and down his arm. The 'tattoo' I gave him is no longer there.

"Why don't we... Just tell me something about them. Anything," I encourage Winston.

He starts messing around with the hem of my shirt. "I... I don't think they ever wanted me," he says quietly. "I think that they just wanted William and that's it."

My body tenses up as I try to think of what to say. "Don't say that, I'm sure they wanted you."

He scoffs. "They act like William is their child and I'm just the backup option if something ever happens to him. And if something does, I still won't be able to replace him."

I pull him closer to me so that his head is on my shoulder now. "Yeah, you'll never replace William because you're not a dickhead like he is," I tell him and then I pause. Winston doesn't continue the conversation about his parents and he looks like he wants to change the topic. So I do. "Where is he anyway?"

Winston rolls his eyes. "At the post office. He needed to send something back home or something. Pretty sure it's to do with me because he acted all awkward about it."

"Something to do with you?" I ask him and he nods.

"I think dad wants me to go back home," Winston says and my mouth immediately feels dry. "He didn't last night when William called him. Which is really surprising as William can wrap them around his little finger without even trying. But then this morning he found out about my friend ODing and he thinks it's best if I go home. Even for a little while."

"And what do you think?" I ask him. "Do _you_ want to go back home?"

I want him to say no but he shrugs and my heart drops to the bottom of my stomach. "I think it would be nice to just... Check in on him. Make sure everything's okay." he says and I look away from him. How long will he be gone? He'll say that he'll only be gone for a week and before I know it, he won't even be coming back.

But that guy is his friend and he may need Winston. I can't be mad at him because we were in this exact situation last night when I left with Scott.

"How's Scott by the way?" Winston asks trying to change the topic of the conversation. He looks down at the plush toy in his hands and he's playing with the bear's ears.

I shrug. "He's okay." For now.

"So did Justin stop with that game of his?" Winston asks and he sounds pissed off again. I still don't understand why he was so hellbent on defending Scott.

I'm not planning on telling Winston what happened between Scott and Justin so I just nod.

"I hated that they made Scott so uncomfortable," Winston mumbles and I just stare at him for a second. He sounds upset about it. More upset than the rest of us.

"You okay?" I ask him and he nods slowly.

"Yeah, it just brought up some stuff that I..." he says and he doesn't finish his sentence.

"What stuff?" He hesitates and I move closer to him and rest my chin on his shoulder his smiles and I gently place a kiss on his shoulder.

"There was this... Thing," he starts to explain. "When I was a sophomore, William would always have his friends over and there was this one guy... I really thought he liked me but I think he was just using me."

"Using you how?" I already don't like where this is going. Sophomore so Winston was... Fifteen? And William was a senior so I'm guessing that his friend was too. It doesn't sound legal.

"He'd come over when William wasn't around to 'drop off homework' and then he'd make me blow him," Winston tells me and he sighs. He sees my face and he clears his throat. "It wasn't like-I consented, okay? I knew what I was doing."

"You were fifteen," I remind him and he rolls his eyes.

"Almost sixteen," he corrects me. "Anyway, so this guy. He'd kind of... Force me to wear lipstick? He said I was pretty with it on and... I didn't really like it but..."

His voice goes quieter as he speaks and I don't realise how tightly I'm gripping onto him until I exhale sharply.

"Winn..." I say and he lets out a shaky breath.

"I'm okay," he tells me and he tries to smile.

"Have you ever... Did William know?" I ask him because fuck, if that bastard knew and didn't put an end to it... He's an even shittier brother than I thought.

Winston shrugs. "I never told him but he found out anyway. Maybe his friend told him," he says and he rubs the back of his neck with his hand. "He got mad at me then. Said I always tried to take his friends away from him. Make everything about myself. But I-that's not what I was trying to do."

I don't think William has been told the entire truth about what happened between his friend and Winston. "Maybe you should try to talk to him," I suggest. William is a dickhead but he's also Winston's brother. I would like it if they worked their shit out.

"He never listens to me," Winston mutters and he focuses on the teddy bear again. I take it out of his hands so that he can focus on me.

"Please, can you at least _try_ to talk to him?" I say and Winston doesn't look like he likes the idea very much. "And if he blames you for it then I'll just have an excuse to punch him, won't I?"

Winston rolls his eyes but smiles and neither of us brings up anything that Winston has told me. He doesn't even remind me that he may be leaving to see his friend soon.

He gets very touchy very quickly and he ends up on top of me, interlacing our fingers together and pressing my hands into the mattress. He kisses me while bumping his nose against mine.

"I made plans for us yesterday," Winston tells me when he pulls away to catch his breath.

"Plans?" I ask. The only plans I had in mind was staying here with him and fucking around.

He nods and then he kisses me again before pulling away. "Last night. Before I found out about... everything. So if you don't wanna go-"

"What have we got planned?" I ask him with a grin and he seems pleased with my answer.

"When Zach gave me a ride home last night, he said that he and Alex were gonna go to this bar or whatever but it might be a bit weird if they just go alone," Winston explains and it's not exactly what I had in mind. "I said that I could try to convince you to go. So... do you feel convinced yet?"

He grins at me and I can't help but let out a small chuckle. He let's go of my hands and I rub them up and down his lower back. "Very convinced," I say and I tilt my head to press my lips softly to his. I clear my throat when we pull away. "So is it like a gay thing?"

His eyebrows shoot upwards at my question and I don't understand why. "A 'gay' thing?" he repeats. "But I thought you weren't gay."

I tense up slightly. So I admit that I may be a little bit gay. Just a bit. I mean if Scott thinks he's gay after fucking Justin once... Maybe I'm a bit gay too. Maybe.

"Maybe I'm a little bit gay," I tell him and he grins. "Like one percent gay. But just for you."

He laughs at me and then he captures my lips in a kiss. "Just for me, huh? So Scott isn't a threat?"

I can't tell if he's joking with me or not but I think he is. I raise an eyebrow and he laughs again. He doesn't even know that Scott is questioning his sexuality so he's obviously just kidding.

"So when is this thing of ours that we have to get ready for?" I ask him and he glances up at the clock.

"A few hours," he says casually but my mind starts wandering to places. He smiles down at me. "That's enough time for me to... Show you all the cool pictures I took over the weekend!"

Okay, I guess I deserved that. He rolls off of me and then goes over to his desk. He comes back with a bunch of photos that he sets out on the bed.

I glance at them at first and then Winston gets me into a discussion about each one talking about contrasts and whatever but all I focus on is that one picture.

"Hey, that's the one I took. Right?" I ask and Winston stops. He doesn't need to answer because we both know it is. I pick the photo up from the pile and I look at it. Fuck, he looks so cute.

"Yeah, so what happened to Champ? Did you forget about him or something?" he asks and I scoff lightly.

"No, I'm just letting Estela take care of him while I take care of you. One at a time, you know?" Winston laughs at me and I go back to staring at the photo.

I find my phone in my pocket and I pull it out. "Do you mind if I..." I gesture to the photo and Winston shakes his head.

"Keep it. If you want," he says with a shrug. He's making it out to not be a big deal but I feel like it is.

I take the clear phone case off my phone and I slot the photo in the back before putting it back on again. I test it out, see if it doesn't slip out and if it's in the right place. Winston is grinning at me when I look up.

"God, you're so obsessed with me," he jokes and I push his shoulder lightly.

"Who wouldn't be?" I reply and that gets me a kiss on the bridge of my nose in return.

***

On our way out from Scott's house, we bumped into Justin. He looked flushed and nervous just like Scott was this morning.

I simply told him that Scott was up in his bedroom and that he needs to take Bryce's car back. Then Winston and I left.

We still have a lot of time to go before we have to meet up with Zach and Alex but Winston wanted to go to my house. Partially because he wanted to be gone before William came back and also because he wanted to see Champ. I had to basically pry him out of Estela's arms.

Now he's sat on my bed, cuddling our dog while I stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom. Winston is all ready to go but I'm still getting dressed, shaving and whatever else.

I run my hands down my face to text how smooth it is and if I've shaved properly. I've even managed to avoid getting any cuts.

"Okay, pretty boy. How much longer do I have to wait for you to dress yourself up?" I look into the mirror and I see Winston standing in the bathroom doorway with Champ in his arms.

I turn my body to face him. "What did you just call me?" For once in my life, I try to look good for someone and this is their reaction. Am I trying too hard?

No, Winston is just fucking with me. He bursts out laughing and continues to stroke the dog behind its ears. I turn back to the mirror and I gently brush some hair away from my face. Should I bother sorting it out?

"What happened to the flannel shirts?" Winston asks and I frown.

"Huh?"

"Why'd you stop wearing them? They looked nice on you," he says and he looks down at Champ so he doesn't have to face me. Stopped wearing them? I just put on a nicer shirt, I don't understand what the big deal is. We're gonna be around people so yeah I'd like to look nice.

"You like the flannels?" I ask him and he shrugs. So I turn around and I walk over to him. I cradle his face in my hands and he looks up and smiles shyly. I just thought that the flannels didn't really... I looked a bit poor compared to him. But apparently he likes them.

So looks like I'll be going back to flannels.

He puts Champ down on the floor and he immediately runs to my bed. I'm too busy observing Champ to notice that Winston has wrapped his arms around me.

"I might have to... Go back home soon," he mutters and then he sighs. I was hoping we could just avoid this conversation. "I really need to make sure that my friend is okay."

"Okay," I say and I place my hands on his hips. "How long will you... Be gone?" I hope he doesn't have to stay long, just a few days. It'll be boring here without him.

He pulls away and shrugs. I still hold onto his hips. "Not sure but... We should be going now, right?" he says and he glances back into my bedroom where Champ is asleep on my bed. "I don't wanna be late."

So maybe he doesn't like talking about going home either. He should stay here with me.

***

Zach, Alex, Diego and Charlie are already sat at a table when we walk in. Charlie notices us first which is surprising as he normally never takes his eyes off his boyfriend. So Charlie and Diego got an invite too.

Charlie waves us over and we walk over to them.

It's an old kind of bar, reminds me of something from the 90s. The chairs and tables are wooden, the bar is wooden and there's a bunch of drunk men sat by it on the stools. But they're a good kind of drunk.

We're the only young people around here, the rest of them are either grandparents or just elders on vacation.

"What is this Zachy? A retirement home?" I tease Zach and he just rolls his eyes. I sit down next to Zach and Winston sits opposite me next to Charlie.

"You can't tell me it's not better than that shit show of a party last night." Zach defends his choice of venue and I have to agree.

"So what was it like after I left?" I ask them. They've already ordered drinks but their glasses are almost full so I'm guessing they haven't been here for long. The drinks are either in fancy glasses or just whiskey glasses. "Wait, they served you alcohol?" I ask them and Alex shrugs.

"They served Zach," he says and then he passes me the drink menu.

"My treat," Zach says and he pats me on the back.

In the end, I let Winston choose for me and him because he knows all the fancy drinks. We talk amongst ourselves while waiting for our drinks and the chips and burgers that Zach ordered for us.

"Does you dad now?" Charlie asks Alex and we all turn to look at him he shrugs.

"I'll tell him eventually. I'm eighteen now anyway so he can't stop me," Alex says. So I guess he's really serious about this whole going back to the city with Zach thing. They have it all figured out. 

"You're making your own choices? What's that like?" Winston jokes and we laugh at him.

"How is William? Feel like I haven't seen him in weeks," Diego says.

"Yeah William doesn't leave Scotty house, he stays next to that wall day and night," I say and they laugh. It's pathetic how William is wasting away his summer to paint Scott's whole living room. That guy doesn't know what fun is.

"You lot think it's a joke but I woke up once in the middle of the night and he was sat on the floor painting the wall in his sleep," Winston adds.

We continue making fun of William until our food and drinks are brought over.

It's just the six of us and it feels kind of weird without Justin and Scott around. But it's fine not having Bryce around, he's starting to rub me the wrong way since he started hanging out with Brad.

"Why is it so sweet?" I ask Winston when I take a sip of my drink. It's pink and smells like strawberries but tastes like sugary strawberry water. I grimace at it and lick my lips.

Winston rolls his eyes not believing me so I slide the drink over to him and he takes a sip. Then he pulls a face. "Okay that's disgusting," he agrees with me and coughs. He pushes them drink away too.

"Can't be that bad," Diego says but Winston and I tell him that it is. "Charlie might like it, he's got a sweet tooth." So Charlie drinks the sugary water and Zach orders a gin toxic for me instead.

Winston gets into a conversation with Charlie and Diego so I have no choice but to crash Zach's and Alex's conversation again.

"Wait, is William seriously threatening to send you home?" Alex then interrupts and they stop talking. "What's he gonna do? Sedate you and lock you on a plane?"

We all think it's ridiculous that William is seriously getting so worked up over Winston staying at my house overnight.

"You know he said my bedtime is nine now," Winston adds and I raise an eyebrow. "Seriously, he said he's gonna let my parents know if I 'don't listen' to him"

"Big talk for someone with a name like William Williams," Zach scoffs and we're back to making fun of William.

At some point in the night, the music from the radio stops and Tyler Down and Clay Jensen come in instead. Tyler is carrying his violin case and I watch as he sets up the microphone by the bar and Clay settles himself down by the piano.

A few drinks later, they're playing their third song and Zach and I are singing along even though we don't know the words.

Winston started snapping photos a while ago and he takes one as Alex tries to put the little umbrellas from our drinks in my hair.

"Fuck off, I'm singing," I tell him and I push his hands away.

But then Zach joins in and starts adding some flowers from a nearby vase into my hair.

"Look how pretty our Monty looks," Diego teases me when my hair is a mess of flowers and cocktail umbrellas.

I shake my head letting all that rubbish drop to the floor and then Winston laughs.

"Wait, I want to take a picture," he says and he manages to take one before I can react. I shouldn't have let him bring the camera.

Another drink later, Clay and Tyler and joined by two women. One who plays the drum and the other one plays the flute. The old women must have had too much to drink because they start moving the tables back and then they start dancing in the middle of the bar.

I stare at Zach and we start laughing as the ladies dance along to the music. They're slowly joined by another one of the men and two more women until almost all of them are dancing. The people working there don't seem to mind.

I think I must be drunk because I cheer and clap along with Diego until one of them calls me over to dance with them. 

"No, no," I say and I laugh but she starts walking towards me and then Zach pushes me out of my chair.

"Go on, don't be a tease," he says and so I let the woman drag me onto the dancefloor where I join in. 

I must remember to thank my mom later for teaching me all those dances. It seems to come in handy now. I sway my hips, tap my feet, move my shoulder and I twirl that one woman around. The guys are enjoying this way too much. 

"Do a twirl for us!" Zach shouts and I roll my eyes at him and continue dancing in the middle of the crowd. At some point, Diego joins in and he dances along with me. I think he and I are the main attraction tonight.

Then Charlie goes over too after the women get tired and sit back down at their table. Diego twirls him around until he can't stop laughing and then he picks Charlie up and spins around with him. Feel like I'm third-wheeling again.

When I sit back down, Zach and Alex are no longer at the table and Winston is grinning at me.

"Why didn't you come over?" I ask him and I take a sip of Zach's drink because I've already drank mine. I wouldn't have minded if he joined me up there.

"I was admiring from a distance," he tells me and then he rubs the back of his necks. "Also I can't dance."

He looks embarrassed to admit it and I raise an eyebrow. He's not serious, is he? "But what about all those fancy parties I'm sure you go to?" I tease him and he shakes his head.

"Yeah... I usually manage to get out of dancing. People don't notice when they're too focused on the older brother," he tells me and he chuckles lightly. Once again, he's trying to turn it into a joke.

"Well... Maybe it's time you learned to dance," I say and I stand up from my seat. Winston looks horrified. 

"No! No, Monty no," he says and he starts laughing when I take his hand and drag him to his feet. "Monty, I can't dance. I'll look ridiculous." 

But I'm already dragging him to the dance floor where Diego and Charlie are messing around and an older couple is dancing too. No slow dancing in sight and that's good. We can fuck about.

"Everyone's too drunk to notice," I assure him and then I give him a twirl. His arm is stiff and it's an awkward twirl, I can't help but laugh at him.

"See?" he says and he tries to pull away but I hold onto his hand tightly. 

"You're not going anywhere," I tell him and he groans. I pull him back towards me and then I hear Diego laugh behind me. I turn around and Charlie is leaning on him and Diego is trying his best to stay standing.

"Are you tired baby?" he asks Charlie and I feel kind of weird that he's using my pet name for Winn. Like I know that I don't own it but... 

"I'm tired too," Winston tells me and he pouts. 

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, right. Got tired just now, huh?" he leans on my just like Charlie did on Diego a minute ago and I hold him by the chin and start to lean down. He waits for me to kiss him but then I pull away and turn back around to Charlie and Diego.

"Are you guys heading home?" I ask them and Diego nods. Winston grunts unhappily.

"Yeah, just look at him," he says and he laughs. Charlie didn't even have that much to drink but he's younger than us and his tolerance is lower. "I don't know if he'll be able to walk back home..."

Diego brushes some hair away from Charlie's face and Charlie mumbles something. He's definitely not gonna be able to walk home.

"Why don't you get a ride from Zach?" I suggest and Diego shrugs. Winston's grip around my tightens.

"Or we could get a taxi to town and walk from there. The four of us. Would be cheaper," Winston says and he smiles at me innocently. What is he up to now?

Diego looks at Winston then at me and then back at Charlie who is already falling asleep on him. "Alright, yeah. Sounds good."

And Winston is pleased.


	16. So What Are We?

**Chapter Sixteen**

"You're going that way, right?" Diego asks and he's trying his best to stay focused on what he's saying while he's also trying to hold onto Charlie. 

We've just gotten out of the car and we're still standing in place, not going anywhere. I help Diego hold onto Charlie because I can see that he's struggling. 

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay to walk?" Winston asks and he glances at Charlie worriedly.

"Yeah, man. It'll only take us fifteen minutes or so," Degio tells him but I can already see that it's gonna take longer than that in the state that Charlie is in.

"Wait, I'm-" Charlie says and then he falls to his knees and he pukes on the ground. I take a step back and Winston looks away but Diego crouches down beside Charlie and pats him on the back.

"There, there," Diego says as Charlie vomits out the alcohol. I have to look away. 

"Sorry," Charlie mumbles and Diego helps him back to his feet when he's done. "I feel better now," he says and Diego laughs at him. He puts his hand on the back of Charlie's head and he pulls him closer to him. 

"Yeah?" he says and then he looks at me and Winston. "We should get going now, while he's feeling okay."

So we say our goodbyes and we walk our separate ways. Winston skips alongside me in silence and I try to think of what put him in such a good mood. 

I nudge his side. "What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, the rest of us are exhausted as fuck and you're skipping around like a kid with a sugar rush," I tell him and he laughs. I'm used to him having a lot of energy even after we smoke but he drank a lot and we talked with the guys for a good few hours, he should be exhausted.

"I don't know," he shrugs and he looks at me from the side. "How tired are you?"

I don't like the look on his face, the look he gets when he's planning something. "Why?"

"Kind of feeling like pulling an all-nighter, you up for it?" he asks and he moves so that he's walking in front of me but facing me. He's got this cheeky grin on his face and I sigh.

I'm really fucking tired but if Winston wants to stay up all night... "Alright," I say and I rub my hands up and down my face to wake myself up more. "But I can't promise that I'll be able to stay awake the whole time."

"That's okay," he says and he takes my hand. "I'll just make sure you stay awake." He winks at me and then turns around with our fingers still interlaced together. He's got really soft hands.

"Do you wanna go to the beach?" he asks which actually means: Let's go to the beach but you lead because just don't know the way.

"Mhm," I say and he stops just for a moment to peck me on the nose. It tickles and I can't help but smile at him. 

We walk on for a few minutes and I realise that he's being suspiciously quiet now. Usually, he makes about twenty inuendos and tries to get me to open up to him about something while we walk, but now he's being silent.

I pull at his hand to bring him closer to me and he looks up like I've pulled him out of his thoughts. "Something's wrong," I state so that he can't deny it. First, he had too much energy and now he's not even speaking to me.

"Not-"

"What's wrong baby?" I stop us in our tracks and I cradle his face. He immediately melts after hearing the pet name and I know he won't be able to put up a fight any longer.

"I think..." he says and then he looks down at his feet. When he looks back up, he looks around and bites his lip. "I don't wanna ruin it. Can I tell you... Later?"

"No, you can tell me _now_ ," I say and he sighs. If I don't find out now, I'm just gonna be thinking about it until he tells me. It can't be that bad.

He fumbles around in his pocket and then pulls his phone out. I watch and wait as he unlocks it and clicks something. Then he holds it in front of my face to show me a text message from William.

_Booked the tickets for tomorrow. Want to see you home at six in the morning sharp._

I read it once. Then I read it again. I stare at Winston and he slowly lowers his phone. "He's sending you back home?" I ask and Winston shakes his head.

"No, I mean yes but... Only for two days," he explains. "For my friend." Okay. Two days. That shouldn't be too bad. I've survived over eighteen years without knowing about his existence. Two days away from him shouldn't be too bad.

***

Once we get to the beach, Winn is all giggly again. He drops off his bag somewhere on top of the rocks and then he runs across the sand.

"Race you!" he shouts and he's already seen that I can barely stand on my own two feet. I'm tired but sure, I'll race him. 

I run after him but he gets in the water and I immediately back away. "Oh no, I'm not getting wet," I say and Winston pouts as he stands ankle-deep in the water.

"Why?" he asks and he takes a step back. "Are you scared of the water?" He raises an eyebrow at me trying to get me to come into the water.

"I'm not the one who kept on shrieking when I thought I saw a jellyfish in there," I remind him and he blushes. Remember that night he tried to kiss me and then he freaked out because he thought he saw a jellyfish? Yeah me too.

"I swear I saw one," he protests but I just laugh at him. I let him mess about in the water and I walk back to the sand. I lay down with my arms crossed behind my head. The sand is still warm and I can feel it through my shirt.

But then I can also feel something else through my shirt. I hear him trying to creep up on me but I keep my eyes closed to not ruin his surprise. Then he gets on top of me and puts his hands on my chest. I immediately open my eyes and grimace.

"Fuck, why are your hands so cold?" I ask him and I shiver. I try to pull away but he presses those blocks of ice into my chest and grins innocently.

"The water was cold," he tells me like that somehow justifies him putting his icy hands on me.

He moves down so that my chest is exposed and then he starts unbuttoning my shirt. He doesn't rush it, he unbuttons each button one by one and I keep my hands on his hips the whole time.

He moves my shirt to the side to expose my bare chest and then he grins at me. "Why is your heart beating so fast?" he asks me and he slides his hands up and down my chest. They're still cold and he sends a shiver up my spine.

I swallow hard and roll my eyes. "Fuck you, you know why," I tell him and he giggles. How does he expect me to stay calm when he's literally doing _this_.

He warms his hands up on my bare torso and then he lays his head on my chest and just lays on top of me.

"You're gonna come back, right?" I ask and he turns my head towards him and grins. Maybe this is too much? Maybe I'm gonna scare him away with how attached I've gotten. Because I _have_ gotten attached to him and I don't even know when.

"Yes," he tells me and then he rubs his nose against mine.

"Just kiss me already," I say and I roll my eyes. Winston's eyes widen for a second and then he presses his lips to mine. It's so soft and sweet that I could just fall asleep right here with him.

He moves away too quickly and then he rests his chin on my chest. "You're gonna miss me when I'm gone?" Like he needs to ask. Of course, I'm gonna miss him and I'm gonna miss him annoying me.

I don't say that though. "Sure," I say so that it doesn't sound too serious and then I immediately regret it when I see Winn look down. Then before I can change my answer, he looks back up and grins like nothing's wrong.

"Hopefully you'll still like me when I come back," he tells me and then he blushes like he realises he's said something he shouldn't have. "You _do_ like me, right?"

Even when he constantly need reassurance about the smallest things, like the fact that I'll miss him or that he's not my second choice, he's still not annoying to me. I feel terrible that he's so insecure about people not wanting him and I also don't want to make it any worse for him.

"Yes," I say and then I take my chance to flip us over and get on top of him. Okay so maybe I'm more than one percent gay. I can't help it, I just like him. 

He giggles as I start to attack his neck with kisses. "And I _will_ miss you," I correct myself from before and the smile is back on his face. "Just don't tell anyone or they'll think I'm going soft."

He laughs and I hover above him. His arms wrap around my neck and he just smiles. "I like it when you're... 'soft'," he says and then he traces my lips with his finger. "But I'll keep it to myself." I lean down and kiss him. He holds onto me to make sure I don't pull away any time soon but I can't kiss him for too long either. Can't risk getting hard, especially not on the beach.

"Okay, okay," I chuckle lightly and I pull away from him just when I feel my cock start to show interest. I rest my head on his chest and he hugs me as I lay on top of him. I wonder if I'm heavy for him. I must be, he's so fragile that I feel like I'm gonna suffocate him. Or maybe not because he seems fine with my weight on top of him. I look up at him.

"You know what I said about pulling an all-nighter?" he asks.

"Yeah?"

He smiles at me. Before brushing some hair out of my face. "I think I'm tired," he says innocently and then studies my face. Thank God, I was dreading having to tell him that I don't think I'll make it. But if he's tired, it means that he must be going back to Scott's to get ready to leave tomorrow morning.

"Can you sleep at mine?" I ask him uncertainly and he grins. His eyes start to twinkle and I relax.

"Does that mean we have to walk all the way over to your house?" he groans and strokes the back of my neck with his thumb.

"I'm not carrying you," I tell him when I see that look in his eye. He lifts one eyebrow. "I'm not, alright? You have legs, you can walk."

He licks his bottom lip and then pulls me closer to him so that his lips are grazing past my ear. "How about you make it so that I can't walk?" he whispers in my ear and the bulge in my shorts starts to grow. I can't even move or comprehend what he's told me, I just stay there and I keep swallowing until my mouth doesn't feel as dry anymore.

"I... Erm. We... I-I maybe..." I stumble on my words and I start to pull away. Winn just stares at me innocently and I hate how one sentence can get me so flustered.

"Let's just go," I huff and I stand up and put my hands in my pockets before he can see that I'm hard. He's probably already seen. He just grins and holds his hand out so I help to pick him up.

I take his hand and pull him up to his feet. This time he manages to stay on his feet, unlike the last time when he almost dragged both of us to the ground.

***

We collapsed on the bed almost as soon as we got inside. Champ was asleep on the bed and Winston moved him to the side so now we're squeezed on one side of the bed so to not wake our dog up.

It's only almost two in the morning so it's not even that late. Hopefully, we didn't wake anyone up when we were climbing over the fence and Winston had a laughing fit when my shorts caught onto the spikes.

"I'm so tired," he mumbles and somehow we've managed to position ourselves so that we're spooning but he's the big spoon. I feel so small with his arm over me and my back pressed into his chest. But he's warm and it feels nice especially when his breath washes over the back of my neck. It's so relaxing.

"Mhm," I say quietly because all I want to do is sleep. Then I hear Champ yawn quietly and he moves closer to us.

Winn chuckles. "We're such bad parents," he tells me after stealing a glance at Champ. "Good thing Estela is around to look after him." Honestly, Estela just loves the dog and she'd keep him to herself if she could. Hopefully, he stays with us forever and doesn't go on trips back home to see his sick friends.

"Yeah, we need to stop neglecting him," I agree and Winston laughs softly into the crook of my neck.

"Stop, that tickles," I say and I immediately realise how stupid I was to admit that.

"Are you-" he starts and I try to push him away from me.

"Don't even try it. I'm trying to sleep," I say but just because I really don't want him to tickle me. It's horrible when I can't stop laughing and I don't even want to. Scott has used that tons of time just to win arguments with me. He'd tickle me until I agreed with him.

"Another time then," Winn says and I smile because that confirms that there will be another opportunity to do that.

I start to doze off slowly as Winston plays with my hair. I could get used to this. But I shouldn't. Because he's not gonna be around forever.

I'm not wearing a shirt and Winston starts to lightly scratch my back. I squirm under his touch but just because it feels so nice. He continues to run his blunt nails down my back but gently, not the way he did when I was fucking him.

"Remember that back rub you promised me?" I say and Winn groans. Yeah, I haven't forgotten. "And the one thousand times you said you owe me one?" I grin at him and he rolls his eyes.

"I didn't mean it..." he says and he pouts but I'm not letting him go this easy. "I just didn't know how else to flirt with you. I was just hoping you'd want a blow job one day and we'd just go from there."

I laugh at him and he sighs sleepily. "You really thought I was gonna walk up to you and ask you to blow me?" Sometimes I don't even know how we got here and then I remember him in a skirt and it all makes sense again.

"I was hoping, yeah," he says and even he laughs at himself. "I gave you all those hints." Yeah, I remember him bragging about his talented mouth.

Okay, no. I can't think about that right now. I need to sleep.

Winn's making it easy for me by the way he's slowly stroking my back and holding onto me. Everything just seems so... Easy with him. I've never done this with anyone. Not Chloe, not... Scott or any of my friends that I've known for a while. But he came here a week ago, he inserted himself into my life and now he's making me feel safe and secure.

I don't know when I finally fall asleep but Winn starts to nudge me and I wake up.

"What?" I ask sleepily and I frown at him. He brushes some hair away from my face and I grunt sleepily.

"I need to go..." he says quietly and I glance at the clock. Just past five. I groan and turn around so I can pull him closer to me.

"Don't go," I mumble into his shoulder and I hope that I can later just blame this on me being tired and not wanting him to leave my bed.

He giggles as I hold onto him so tight that I'm basically crushing him. "I don't want to..." he says and I don't see what the problem is, he should just stay here. "But William will be so mad if I-"

I groan in frustration and I loosen my grip on him. "Fine," I say and then I turn away from him. He sighs and then slides off my bed.

I thought he was just going to leave me here but then he crouches down by my side of the bed so that he's at eye level with me. "Monty..."

"I know, I know. Go," I say. I can't be annoyed at him for this. "Just remember to come back." he grins as he starts to stand up slowly.

"I will," he says and he strokes Champ's head before starting to walk away. He takes his bag with the cameras and I notice that he picks something up on his way out. Then he just closes the door behind him. Neither of us says goodbye.

***

**Winston's POV**

Do I want to know why Justin is leaving Scott's house at almost six in the morning? No, I don't think I do. I'm just glad someone is there to hold the door open for me. I would hate to have to knock and depend on William to let me inside.

"Coming back from seeing your boyfriend?" Justin teases me as his eyes scan over my bed head, the crumbled clothes and the flannel I stole from Monty's closet wrapped around my hips.

"You too?" I reply and we grin at each other before Justin tells me that he needs to go now and I walk inside as to not wake William up.

So maybe something is going on between Scott and Justin, he didn't deny anything. I don't care who Scott chooses to sleep with as long as its not Monty.

I tiptoe to my bedroom and I manage to lay in bed for approximately five minutes before the door opens again and William switches on the light. Idiot.

We both know that I didn't sleep in my bed tonight but neither of us cares enough to mention it.

"Are you packed and ready to go?" William asks and I groan into the pillow in response. "Well then pack. And shower."

He starts to walk out of the room but I lift my head and stop him. "Why do I need to pack? I'll only be there for two days," I say. I'll be staying at my parents' house so I'll have enough clothes to last me the two days. "I'm coming back here. Just in case you thought you could send me away."

I glare at him and he rolls his eyes. But I know William, I wouldn't be surprised if he convinced my parents to make me stay at home.

"Shut the fuck up," William says and he rubs his temples. "I'm just fucking looking out for you, okay?" I still don't believe that and I raise an eyebrow. Looking out for me? How?

He blinks a few times. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm coming too. So you won't be alone." I just stare at him not knowing how else to reply. William is coming too? Is he planning something or is he being a decent human being for once in his life?

He walks out before it gets too awkward and I press my face back into the pillow.

I feel like I've done something wrong. I haven't lied to Monty but... I mean, he didn't ask. If he had asked then I would have told him. But I still feel like he should know. At the same time, I didn't want to give him more to worry about so I just chose to keep my mouth shut.

I wish I didn't have to leave. I wish Louis didn't have to overdose. But he did and now I need to see him.

I've gotten texts from my other friends but I just ignored them. Louis has been asking about me ever since he woke up and I feel so guilty that I'm not looking forward to seeing him.

But let's be honest, does anyone actually look forward to seeing their ex?

***

I slept in the car, the plane and then the car again. And now it's very late and we're stood outside my parents' house. It feels so different to the countryside. The roads are made out of tar and not sand, the buildings are all close together and there are no fields to be seen anywhere.

No beaches either. Even the air smells like petrol and pollution.

William takes his bag out of the car but I don't have to worry about that as I came with nothing but my phone and the clothes that I'm wearing. I'm wearing Monty's flannel. Hopefully, that'll be enough to keep me sane for those two days. William noticed the flannel and he raised an eyebrow but didn't comment.

I don't know if I should knock on the door or if I can go in. But the door's closed and I have to ring the doorbell.

It might be summer but it feels kind of chilly. I think it rained last night or maybe even earlier as I can feel the humidity in the air and everything smells so... Wet. Please, I hate it here.

One of our maids opens the door and she lets us inside but not before making small talk that I let William deal with. Back to being invisible, it is.

My journey as the invisible man continues when my parents greet William in the living room but don't even acknowledge my presence. No one even realises that I leave and go up to my room.

It's exactly how I left it, the room that I've lived in for almost eighteen years. Yet it feels strange. There's no small black dog running around, no sound of people working in the garage, no wrestling trophies from 2012 filling up the shelves.

Even the bed feels wrong. Too soft and it doesn't smell like the beach and weed. If Monty could see me right now... He'd run for the hills if he knew how attached I've gotten.

I don't fall asleep but I lay there in the dark for about an hour until I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. William. I bet he's pleased that he's still the favourite son.

Honestly, I'm glad he came. Can't imagine sitting down there for an hour and trying to make conversation with my parents. I've only exchanged about five sentences with them over the course of my life. They don't know the first thing about me.

Then the door swings open and I don't even look up but I know that William is smirking to himself. "You could have at least said hi," he tells me off and I scoff quietly.

"I did," I say and I can already feel a lump forming at the back of my throat. "Obviously no one paid attention. As usual."

"So fucking dramatic," William mutters under his breath and then he slams the door shut with a bang.

I don't let the tears fall until I hear him enter his own room across the hall. I know I'm being pathetic. Acting like some fucking child who needs attention all the time. I regret coming here.

I want to text or call Monty to see how he's doing but I don't want him to think that I can't even last a day without talking to him. It would just freak him out and push him away.

I don't usually get this attached to people. I actually mostly just keep to myself, but there's just something about Monty that makes me feel like I've known him my whole life. He's like the only person I've met that doesn't treat me like I'm half a person. He said he _likes_ me.

And I hate how just that one sentence from him made my heart thud so fast that I felt like I was having a heart attack. 

I'm still trying to figure out what happens in less than seven weeks when I have to leave for college. Do I just leave Monty behind and never see him again? We could keep in touch and still... see each other sometimes? It could work.

I drift away to sleep thinking about a future where it's just me and Monty. No William. No parents. Just us.

***

I don't know what William is planning but he's never been this nice to me. No, I don't mean _nice._ I mean a William kind of nice where he doesn't put me down every five minutes and he doesn't roll his eyes every time I open my mouth.

He's driving us to the hospital and I have my head in my hands so I can't even see how close or far away we are. William keeps asking me if I'm okay and I murmur in response but I don't feel okay. 

I woke up and I felt sick straight away. I thought I was going to vomit but I sat by the toilet bowl for half an hour and I didn't puke. I still feel nauseous and weak. I regret not eating breakfast but at least I don't have anything to puke out.

"I'll wait in the car," William tells me and when I look up, I see that we're driving into the hospital parking lot. My stomach flips over and I feel like I'm gonna pass out. I think William notices. "Unless you want me to come in with you?"

Oh so now he decides to play the part of the caring older brother. Where was this a few years ago when I actually needed my it? I've learned to deal without him now.

I glare at him. "I'm not a child, I'll be fine," I say which gets me an eye roll from William.

Once he parks the car, I unbuckle my seat belt and I get out without saying a word. My legs feel like jelly as I walk up the path and through the automatic doors.

Peter never got to the hospital. He was already... gone when we found him. When _I_ found him. 

I ask the lady at the desk for Louis' room number and then I take the elevator up. I half expect to see Louis passed out in his bed. My hands already feel sweaty.

My sneakers squeak against the polished floors. Everything just smells and feels so... Hospitaly. Maybe I should have asked William to come up with me.

Louis' dad is outside the hospital room. He's looking down at his phone and frowning but then he hears the squeak of my shoes, looks up and smiles at me.

"Hi," I say and my voice sounds all croaky and weird. I swallow and I stop in front of him. I really don't want to go in that room.

But Louis' dad nods at me. "Go in, he just woke up."

So I turn and I go in through the door. Louis is laying down in his bed, sipping on a juice box. He grins when he sees me. He certainly looks alive and I relax a little.

I'm not sure what to do at first and I just stand there close to his bed. Then he puts the juice box to the side and pats his bed. I sit down reluctantly and he just looks me up and down. Suddenly coming here doesn't seem like such a good idea.

"Hey," he says and he smiles at me. "I hope I didn't ruin your vacation." 

I scoff and I shake my head. "You didn't." I may not want to be here, sitting in a hospital and talking to my ex-boyfriend who almost overdosed, but I still care about him and I want to make sure that he's okay. 

"What were you thinking?" I then ask and he looks away and bites on his lip. Has he not realised how badly his death would have fucked everyone up? Hasn't he learned from the Peter situation?

"I know... he says and he rubs his temples. "I'm sorry, I just... wasn't thinking." I look down at my lap and then seconds later I feel his hand touching mine. I let him hold my hand and intertwine our fingers. I look up at him and he smiles. "I'm really glad you're here."

And I feel like I'm cheating on Monty. We're not together but... We could be. I know Monty wouldn't like this and I should have told him the whole truth about Louis.

Or maybe I'm wrong and he doesn't even give a damn. If I told him something like 'I'm going to see my ex-boyfriend but you've got nothing to worry about' he'd possibly laugh at me and tell me that I'm overthinking everything. Because why would Monty be bothered? It's really not like we're dating yet. 

Louis gives my hand a squeeze and I quickly pull it away from his grasp. He stares at me all confused and I'm not sure what to do next. He's okay, I've checked up on him. I'd be happy to just go back to Monty right now. 

But Louis is looking me up and down and he slowly sits up so that he's sitting too close to me and I can already feel my heart banging in my chest. It doesn't help that he lift my chin with his finger and stares into my eyes.

We didn't break up on bad terms, we even stayed friends after we broke up. But we're still not together.

I look around the room nervously and Louis smiles softly. "You know I love you, right?" he says and my chest tightens. The last time he said that was months ago. I guess having a near-death experience changes a person.

He waits for an answer but I don't want to say it back. I closed that chapter in my life a long time ago. Of course, I still love him. And he knows that, he doesn't need me to say it. I just nod.


	17. Fuck William

**Chapter Seventeen**

"Who's throwing the dumb party again?" I ask Scott over the phone and he sighs. Of course, there's a party as soon as Winston leaves. 

I have to make lunch again because my mom is upstairs sleeping and dad is working in the garage with Tony. I could use that as an excuse not to go.

"Marcus, it's gonna be so fucking good," Scott tells me. I guess he's just bored now that there's no William around. Even though the dickhead has been avoiding Scott ever since they kissed.

"And you're not just saying that because Justin is gonna be there?" I tease Scott. He hasn't told me a word about what happened with Justin. Well, that's not exactly true. I asked him how it went and he said 'good' before changing the topic.

And now he goes all quiet and awkward again. "What, your boyfriend's gone so now you're interested in my life?"

"I'm always interested in your life!" I protest and I stir the vegetables in the pan.

"Mhm," Scott says and then he sighs. "We just talked stuff out. Messed around- _not_ in the way you're thinking."

I roll my eyes. God, he already told me that he fucked the guy, I'm not gonna go all weird if he gives me some detail. "You expect me to believe that you stayed on your own sides of the bed when he slept over?"

"How do you know that he slept over?" Scott asks and I laugh.

"My boyfriend is a snitch," I say and then I freeze and my hand freezes halfway through stirring the vegetables as well. Scott chuckles lightly and I swallow. "Don't... It just slipped out."

"Man, you're fucked," Scott tells me and I don't reply. Boyfriend? Really? What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Anyway," I say quickly wanting to change the subject. "Let's talk about Justin."

"I thought you hated him," Scott says.

"No, I hated him with Winston." I correct him and Scott chuckles again. "So what did you guys do?"

Halfway through Scott telling me about how he and Justin just talked about what happened, Estela comes into the kitchen so I leave because I don't want my younger sister listening to my conversation. Once I'm in my bedroom, I lay down on my bed. 

"...was so cool about it. He told me not to worry about it and that he's not gonna tell anyone," Scott continues and I stare at Champ who is eating out of an old plastic bowl that I brought just for him.

"And then we talked about what actually happened..." Scott continues. I imagine Scott and Justin sitting on Scott's bed, trying to discuss why they slept together and what that means for them. Why do they have to make everything so complicated? Winston and I don't have those problems, we just mess about and don't ask each other stupid 'what are we' questions.

"It got kind of late so I said that he could sleep over. It's not like he hasn't done it before," Scott says and I remember all those times that I've had the guys sleep over. "And yeah, we did stay on opposite sides of the bed." I find that hard to believe, I've slept in the same bed as Justin before and that guy gets so touchy that it's unbelievable. He can't keep his hands to himself, he's always touching you.

"So about the party..."

"Go," I say and I stretch in my bed. " _I'm_ not going though. I'll just leave you guys to it, won't interrupt."

"But-"

 _"Go,_ " I insist. Charlie will be there with Diego, Zach and Alex will be together and now even Scott will be there with Justin. I don't wanna go without Winston. When did our friend group get so gay?

I could just try being productive for the whole day. Or I could catch up on sleep. Something I can't do when Winston is around. He's way too distracting and needy.

"But..." Scott tries to pretest and I get it. He's nervous about hanging out with Justin without me around. Could be awkward at first but they'll be fine.

"Just don't overthink everything," I advise him. It's easier to just go along with whatever's happening. "And don't get fucked up either." Alcohol may seem like a good idea at first but it could actually lead to more problems.

Scott sighs. "Yeah. Got it, dad."

***

But apparently Justin didn't get it. I was sat in my bed, reading one of the Shakespear plays (yes that's how bored I was) when I heard a loud knock on my door. Or maybe it was the sound of Justin falling against my door. Either way, they didn't wait for me to let them inside. Scott just slides the door open and stands there in the doorway with Justin leaning on him for support.

I can see how fucked up Justin looks. I throw the book to the side, get off my bed and walk over to those two idiots.

"What did he take?" I ask and Scott is too worked up to even hear my question. He holds onto Justin and I help him drag the guy inside before sliding the door closed so my parents can't see that we're dragging one of our unconscious friends inside. We prop Justin up against my bed.

Luckily Champ is at the house with my family and he doesn't have to witness this shit show

"Scott! Hey! Concentrate," I say and I snap my fingers in his face. He breaths out shakily but his eyes focus on my face. "What did he take?"

If he's just had too much to drink then it'll be easy. Just keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't choke on his own sick while sleeping and then get him some hangover pills when he wakes up. If it's something else...

Scott shakes his head. "I don't... Fuck. I just saw him get some pills from this guy. I don't even know what the fuck-"

"Okay," I interrupt him and I crouch down next to Justin. Still fucking unconscious. I've done this before. About a year ago with Diego.

There used to be a time when I was closer to Diego than anyone else. We both played the same sports, had roughly the same interests and it was easy to get along with him. Just like a few years before that, it was easier for me to get along with Justin. I grow up and feel closer to a different one of my friends every few years. But I've always been close with Scott.

Anyway. Diego took some heavy drugs back in junior year. I didn't really understand how serious it was until one day I found him passed out in a pile of his own sick in the locker room just before practice. I had to lock him in the bathroom stall and then I called Jeff. He was the one who actually took care of Diego and he showed me what to do if he ever got himself that fucked up again.

Jeff wasn't the one dealing to him and Diego wouldn't tell us who was. He made us promise to never tell anyone about what happened. He hasn't taken anything stronger than weed since.

I try to wake Justin up by patting his cheek several times. Doesn't budge. So I slap him so hard that even my own hand begins to sting.

"Fuck," I mumble and then Justin stirs. Scott looks at me and then at him but he doesn't interfere as I lean over to Justin. "What did you take you motherfucker?" I ask him and Justin frowns.

"Huh?"

"What did you- Fuck that. Whatever you fucking took, you're going to have to vomit it out. Understand?" I ask and Scott pulls a face. Justin doesn't look too happy. Fuck, why am I the only one actually trying to help?

"Do you need me to ram my fingers down your throat?" I half threaten half ask Justin and then he starts to stand up on unsteady feet. At least he's responsive. I turn to Scott. "Help me get him to the bathroom."

Once we have Justin bent over the toilet bowl, I leave Scotty to it. Scott's eyes widen when he realises that I'm leaving so I just tell him that I'll be back soon.

I look around the kitchen for snacks while the water boils in the kitchen. I take a plastic bag from a drawer and I put a loaf of bread inside because that's like plain so Justin should be able to keep it down, right? Then I make him some plain tea with no sugar. He doesn't deserve sugar.

I try to remember exactly what Jeff has told me before but it's hard when all I can think about is Justin fucking himself up.

I've made jokes about him being a druggie before. He's the first to think about drugs when we go to a party, the first time get himself fucked up. It was just a joke, never thought much about it. 

But what if he actually needs help? Like _professional_ help. You know, them people that go to therapy and come back preaching about Jesus and shit. I don't need Justin doing that, he's annoying enough as it is.

When I come back, I hear Justin retching and groaning in the bathroom and Scott is sat on my bed.

"Why the fuck did you leave him alone?" I ask Scott and I put the cup of tea on my nightstand along with the plastic bag. Justin groans from the bathroom and then he calls out my name.

"It was disgusting," Scott says and I glare at him on my way to the bathroom. 

"Fuck!" Justin hasn't only managed to vomit all over himself but all over the toilet seat and the bathroom floor too. "You're fucking cleaning this up," I tell him and he mumbles something in response. When he gets better.

"What now?" Justin asks me after a second once he's sure that he's not gonna vomit anymore. He seems to be slightly more aware of what's going on around him. Maybe whatever he took wasn't even that bad.

Seems like I really am turning into the dad of the group. I sigh and tug at my hair. Justin is a mess, my bathroom is a mess and Scott looks like he's traumatised. "Take your clothes off and get in the shower. You need to-Not now you idiot! I don't wanna see you fucking naked," I say when Justin starts pulling at his shirt.

I've seen Justin naked before and he's done more than just see me naked. But I'm not gonna stand there and watch him get undressed. I'll leave that to Scotty.

Justin stays there kneeling in his own sick and I walk back out to Scott. "Go keep an eye on him," I say and Scott stands up shakily. I haven't realised how much this upset him until now. He didn't even know what to do, that's why he brought him here because he knew that I could help.

I grab Scott's arm when he walks past me. "You okay?" He nods and then sighs.

"Fuck. Sorry for like ruining your evening or whatever, I just didn't know what else to do. I was so fucking worried..."

"It's all good," I say quickly and I let go of his arm. I look back towards the bathroom where I hear the water running. "Get in there before he accidentally drowns himself." Scott laughs and then when he closes the bathroom door behind him, I go back to kay on my bed.

I haven't heard from Winston in a while. It's Friday and he should be back tomorrow morning. At least that's what I've been told. I want to text him but I don't wanna seem clingy or annoying.

I type 'hey' and then delete it straight after. How do I even start a conversation? Usually, he just shows up to my house and we don't really have to plan ahead or text. 

I type _'Miss you'_ and that gets deleted too. I spend about half an hour trying to think of the perfect text. Justin finishes his shower before I even get a chance to start typing.

He's only got a towel wrapped around his hips and he comes out of the bathroom alone.

"Where's Sc-" And then Scott comes out with a towel around his hips too. I stare at both of them. Justin grins and Scott blushes. "I'm not gonna ask," I say. Looks like the whole bathroom will need disinfecting. 

Justin is acting more and more like himself. He walks over to my closet and starts pulling clothes out without even asking. I'm not gonna force him to wear his vomit stained clothes but he could have at least asked.

"Hey, isn't this Winston's skirt?" Justin asks and he holds up the skirt that I somehow landed in my closet. I glare at Justin and he quickly puts it away and mouths 'sorry'.

Scott gets dressed in his clothes from before and then he looks at me. "Can I borrow some socks?"

"For fuck's sake, you guys are treating my closet like the fucking mall." I should start charging them for everything that goes missing from my closet. Half of my clothes are in Scott's closet. 

"So... Can I borrow socks or not?" 

***

Scotty is gone when we wake up. I'm not sure where until I hear the water running in the bathroom.

I texted Winston a few times last night while those two fuckers were sleeping but he never replied and I tried calling him but his phone was off.

"Justin, take your fucking hand out of my boxers," I groan at him and I push him away. It's like seven in the morning and my phone is flashing. Winston should be back soon

Justin's arms are wrapped around me from behind and for some strange reason his hand ended up in my boxers. He grunts and turns on his side. Then he pats the other side of the bed and turns back to me.

"Where's Scott?" he groans sleepily and looks around my room. I have to elbow him away from me so that I can reach for my phone. Justin repeats the questions and I groan.

"Jesus, I don't know," I say and Justin rolls his shoulders back before realising that I'm holding my phone in my hand.

"Is it from Scott?" he asks. Scott Scott Scott Scott.

"You're fucking obsessed with him," I mutter and I wait for my eyes to adjust to the brightness of the phone screen.

Justin raises an eyebrow at me. "At least I don't have his photo in my phone case." I stop, turn to him and then I push him so hard that he rolls out of bed and falls on the floor with a loud thud. "Fuck, dude." Justin groans and he climbs back onto my bed.

I laugh at him as he rubs his back and then I read the message and I stop laughing.

 **_Winston:_ ** _Won't be back today. Maybe tomorrow. Sorry, something came up._

Something came up. I don't believe that. Of course, my first thought is that William had something to do with this. I would text William just to ask what the fuck he's doing but I don't have his number. Or maybe I blocked him, I forgot.

Once Scott gets out of the bathroom, I ask him to text William but he immediately gets all weird about it.

"Fine, give me your phone and I'll call him," I say so Scott passes his phone to me and then he sits on the couch and watches me cautiously. I'm not gonna do anything, I just wanna know what the hell is going on.

William doesn't answer. Maybe because it's Scott calling. I frown and now I'm even more frustrated.

"Can we get breakfast? I'm starving," Justin says and neither of us pays any attention to him. 

"Try calling again, maybe he-"

"Hello? Food? Hungry Justin," Justin interrupts so I pick up the loaf of bread that he didn't even touch last night and I throw it at his head. Does he not understand that he isn't the centre of the universe?

But William doesn't pick up the second time either and Scott doesn't want William to have fifty missed calls from him so he takes his phone back.

"Just talk to him when he comes back," he advises me. It's going to be a long day.

***

"And here's another shirt..." Scott throws the shirt my way without looking back and it hits me in the face. I grab it and stuff it into the plastic bag without folding it. Turns out Scott has more of my clothes than I thought.

Saturday went by quickly with just me Justin and Scott hanging out with my family. Then today I had to wake up early because work started again. I went to Scott's house straight after.

"Do you want these back?" he asks and he holds up some joggers that I remember wearing almost three years ago. I bet they still fit Scott.

"Keep 'em," I say because I don't see the point in taking them back. So Scott goes back to looking through his closet for anything that might belong to me.

Winston hasn't even read my messages. Haven't heard anything from him all day yesterday or today. I hope that he's just really taking care of his friend because what else would be stopping him from answering my messages?

"And this hoodie? I think it has a hole-" Scott starts and then he stops when we hear a car engine. We race to the window just in time to see a town car driving up the path to Scott's house.

Scott doesn't look as excited as me but Winston said that he would be back today. So I sprint down the stairs leaving Scott behind in his room. By the time I get outside, the car is driving off and William stands in the front yard with two suitcases by his side. I stare at him and then I look around. He's too busy staring at his phone to notice me.

"Where's Winston?"

He looks up from his phone and frowns. "Why have I got two missed calls from Scott?"

"Fuck, you made him stay at home. Didn't you?" I say and William looks even more confused. Of course, he did, that was the plan all along.

"What are you- Winston? He asked to be dropped off at your house," William tells me and I raise my eyebrows involuntarily. At least he's here.

"But you... Why didn't he come back yesterday?" I was certain that William had something to do with it.

He looks me up and down and he crosses his arms over his chest. "He wanted to stay another day," he tells me and before I can call him out on his bullshit, he speaks again. "He always did have a soft spot for his ex. All Louis had to do was cough and Winston said yes to anything he wanted."

I freeze in place and I just stand there like a fucking idiot. Winston went to see his ex? Why would he do that? Why wouldn't he _tell_ me?

"You're lying," I say and I scoff. It's so fucking pathetic that William is acting like a fucking child just to spite me. Of course, Winston didn't go to see his ex. He wouldn't.

But William's smug eyebrow raise makes me question everything. Winston was very upset when he found out that his 'friend' had ODed. 

"Why would I lie? I'm just telling you so you know what you're getting yourself into," William tells me and he shrugs carelessly like he's doing me a favour. "What? You thought he was all about you? If Louis wanted him back, Winston would go back to him in a split second and you'd just be a distant memory."

I barge past William and I try to convince myself that he's lying. William is obviously lying. 

Fuck, what if he isn't?

***

Winston is already waiting for me when I get back. I don't say a word about where I've been or what I just found out. I know he's just gonna deny everything I accuse him of the little shit.

He sits on the edge of my bed, swinging his legs and grinning. He raises one eyebrow when I slide the door closed and I lock it behind me. I don't make eye contact with him as I take my shoes off and then throw my flannel onto the chair. Fuck, I left the bag of clothes at Scott's house.

I run my hand down my face and then I look up. "Hands and knees," I say and Winston's eyes immediately widen. I think he needs to be reminded who he really belongs to. Seems like he's forgotten.

Winston moves up the bed and he stares at me. "Do you want me to-"

"Shut up," I interrupt him and I pull my T-shirt over my head. That shirt lands on the chair too. "I want you to shut up."

His Adam's apple bobs up and down as he swallows and then he presses his lips together before turning around and getting on his knees so that he's only holding himself up on his forearms.

I walk closer and I stand behind him on the bed. Did he get on his knees like this for that Louis guy too? Or maybe his ex fucked him up against a wall. Maybe a desk. I'll get it out of him.

I unbuckle my belt and I start to pull my jeans down. Winston shivers at the sound of the metal clanging. He's still fully clothed but I'll take care of that.

I undress fully before standing behind him. I grab the base of my cock and then I drag it across his ass. He moans and shifts to be closer to me.

I stop immediately and I lean over him so that my cheek is pressed against his. "What did I say about you being quiet?" He doesn't respond, just bites down onto his lip.

"You gonna be quiet now?" I ask him and he nods quickly. "Good boy," I say and then I move away from him again. Can Louis shut him up like that?

I put my hands on his hips and I stop to think for a moment. Do I want to remove his shirt? Nah, he can keep it on. So I start taking his shorts off instead and he helps me out my lifting his legs so it's easier. I take his boxers off after in the same way and he's already hard. Of course, he's hard.

He's always fucking horny. Which is why he couldn't even last those three days without having someone fuck him. Hope it was worth it.

I run one hand down his back and he sighs softly when I let it rest on his lower back. I squeeze his hip expecting him to make a noise so I have something to scold him for but he manages to keep it in my pressing his face into the mattress.

I place my hand between his shoulder blades and I push him down even further to make him arch his back. He obliges and then I press the pad of my finger into his hole. He makes a small sound that I don't make out.

I place a small kiss between the dimples on his back. "You okay? Tell me if you want me to stop," I say. He nods and makes a muffled groan in reply when I circle a finger around the rim.

I can feel that it's wet and stretched out. I groan in annoyance. "Did you start without me?" Obviously he has. The lube is laying close to the pillows and his hole is so stretched out that I can easily slip two fingers inside. Maybe Louis stretched him out for me.

"I couldn't wait," he mumbles into the mattress. If he's being this desperate, either that Louis guy didn't fuck him properly or they didn't fuck at all. He's not even that stretched out. Maybe I overreacted and Winston didn't do anything with him.

He starts to grind on the two fingers inside of him so I take them out and I reach for the bottle of lube again. I squeeze some of the liquid out into my hand and then I slick my fingers up.

They went in easy without the lube before and with the lube, it's more than easy to stretch him out. I spread my fingers inside of him and I focus on the tiny whimpers that it gets me out of him. I think him not making any noise is more punishing for me than for him.

I add a third finger in and finger him for a few seconds. I try to find his prostate because I know that's what really makes him squirm. My fingers brush past the bundle of nerves and his hips immediately jerk forward.

"Monty..." he moans my name breathlessly but it comes out as a soft whine.

"Sssh," I say and I kiss his shoulder. We haven't even started yet and his T-shirt is already soaked in sweat. He's going to be a mess by the time I'm finished with him.

I mess around with his prostate for a little longer just to get him prepared for what's coming next. Then I pull my fingers out of him and walk over to the nightstand to get a condom.

Winston watches and waits impatiently as I tear open the foil and slide the latex into my erect cock. I don't need to remind him not to touch himself. I smile at him and ruffle his hair when I walk past again and he manages to smile back.

He may be pissing me off but he's still cute as fuck.

Once I'm stood behind him, I roll his shirt up again to expose his back even further and then I grab onto his hips. I decide that I'm going to be nice for now. I'm not making him beg for anything.

I prod the head of my cock against his hole a few times just to tease him and then I slowly start to push it. He lets out a loud groan that he remembers to muffle with the bedsheets only halfway through. I push into him until my cock is fully submerged inside of him and he pants into the bed.

"Okay?" I ask and he gives me a shaky nod. I give him some time to adjust and then he moves back against me to tell me that it's okay to start thrusting.

I start off slow but only the first few thrusts. Just to make sure he's stretched out well before I start pounding into him. Once he lets out a moan, I pick up the pace.

I drag my cock out of him and then I immediately press it back in. He grabs at the bedsheets and squeezes tight. I go in even rougher and deeper if that's even possible. Winston mumbles something about it being good and I slam my cock into him again.

"You like that?"

"Yes," he says eagerly and then he tells me to go faster.

I move my hips faster until I'm moving in and out of him at a ridiculous pace. He doesn't complain. He doesn't have the energy too, he just moans and whines and his T-shirt absorbs the sweat that runs down his back. I'm not even going to talk about how sweaty I am.

"F-fuck," he stutters and his legs start to tremble. "Fuck, I-I'm gonna-" I want him to think that he's gonna get exactly what he wants so I keep going. I fuck into him while squeezing his hips hard enough that I know it's going to leave a mark.

His body starts to give away underneath me like he's this close to collapsing. The muscles on his arms strain as he grabs one of my pillows and digs his nails into it. He holds onto it for dear life.

"I'm gonna come. Fuck, I'm so close. I'm gonna fucking come. Please can I come? Fuck I'm gonna come," he chants breathlessly and I keep pounding into him, grinding my cock into him as far as it'll go.

I'm not even close to coming. Nowhere near. Sure it feels good but I can't concentrate when I know (or don't know) what he's been doing behind my back. Just thinking about him with another guy is a complete turn off so I'm grateful that I at least managed to stay hard throughout.

He yelps and groans like he's forgotten entirely about having to be quiet. I wait for him to be as close as he can be, until his mouth hangs wide open, his eyes look blown and he clenches around me.

He does and then I grab his hips and pull out roughly so that nothing is filling him up anymore. He makes a choked out sobbing sound and he tries to move back to get my cock inside of him again.

"No," he says quietly and then he swears under his breath. "No. No no no no!" I hold him down and I watch as his erect cock starts to soften and come runs down the side. Completely fucking ruined his orgasm and we both know it.

He starts crying then, begging me to let him come properly and he doesn't stop squirming under my grip.

"I'm sorry!" he cries out and he tries to get out from under my hold. "Fuck, I'm sorry. Please let me come. Please. Fuck, I _need_ to come. Monty, please. I'll be good. I promise I'll be good. Please can I come?" He's apologising. He must know that he's done something wrong.

I jerk my own cock off slowly to make sure that my erection doesn't go away but at the same time, I don't want to come just yet.

"I don't think you've earned it baby," I say and I shake my head. He cranes his neck to see me jerk myself off and still hold onto him with my free hand. There are tears still running down his cheeks and just for a split second, I feel bad for not letting him finish.

He swallows hard and looks at me with those puppy dog eyes. "What did I do?" he asks in a small voice and I stop moving my hand. I flip him over on his back and he stares at me looking all confused.

"Did you have fun with your ex?" I ask him and his face immediately drops when he realizes that I know. He opens his mouth to speak but no words come out. I sigh. "Did he fuck you?" Winston immediately shakes his head.

"No, no," he says quickly and he sits up so that he's on his knees on the bed in front of me. He puts his hands on my shoulders. "He didn't fuck me. No."

I nod slowly. Winn moves his hands down my shoulders, my arms and my chest while keeping eye contact with me. He wraps one hand around my dick and begins to jerk me off. I shouldn't let him but I do. I close my eyes just so I can feel his hand around my cock.

"I didn't... I'm just yours to fuck," he whispers and my cock twitches for the first time that night. I'm closer to coming than I thought. Or maybe Winn is just that good at making me come.

I throw my head back and press my lips together as Winn rubs his thumb across the head of my cock. Then the starts to pull at the condom and my eyes shoot wide open.

"What are you doing?" I ask him and he tilts his head upwards and kisses me. When I feel his lips on mine I realize that I haven't kissed him yet. He pulls the condom off my cock while I'm distracted.

"I want you to come inside me," he whispers when our lips are so close that we might as well still be kissing. "Is that okay?" I nod because I can't find the words to tell him that it's more than okay. I've never fucked without a condom. This could be... Interesting.

It seems like suddenly his confidence has grown times ten. He takes my arms and he pulls me on top of him as he slowly lays down on the bed.

He starts to get hard again and I feel less guilty about ruining his previous orgasm. He fists his cock as he waits for me to push inside him again. All those thoughts of him fucking someone else are long gone now. It's just me and him.

I place my hands on either side of his head and then I thrust into him again. I almost laugh at how good it feels. Fuck.

"So... Fucking... Good," I mutter in between thrusts. He feels so right around me and he moans at every single snap of my hips. It's a hundred times better than anything else I've ever done. He's so warm and tight and then my cock brushes against his prostate and I feel like I'm seconds away from coming. I have to hold on. I squeeze the bed sheets and I stop for a moment to get my shit together.

"You're so good to me," Winn whispers. He puts his hand at the back of my neck and pulls me down to kiss him again. Kissing him is a nice distraction from what's going on down there. I could come right now but I don't wanna come before him.

"I can fucking feel you," Winston mumbles against my lips and he grins. "Why are you holding back? Fucking come in me." I grunt and I grit my teeth but I don't let myself go. The pressure building up in my stomach is unbearable and my cock begins to twitch.

"You first," I groan out and I press my forehead into his shoulder. Fuck I'm so fucking close I don't know how long I can keep doing this. I sink my teeth into my lip, I dig my nails into his hips, anything to distract me from the pleasure that's running up and down my spine.

"Fill me up. Want to be yours," Winn moans and that's it, I can't hold it in any longer. I shoot my load inside him and I don't stop.

"Winn baby," I say once and I keep repeating it as I spill inside of him. It's like I'm in some sort of trance. My brain feels numb, my mouth feels numb, my legs feel numb and all I can feel is him.

He's still jerking himself off and I kiss his shoulder after I snap out of it and learn how to form sentences. "Let me see how pretty you are when you come," I whisper breathlessly and he grunts. 

His eyes roll into the back of his head, his hips jerk forward and he lets out a dirty moan as streaks of white decorate his T-shirt. He closes his eyes completely and I can feel his heart racing through the wet t-shirt.

He hasn't even stopped breathing yet and I haven't pulled out of him. "Do you wanna come again?" I ask him and he completely loses it. He pants and he digs his nails into my arms to keep himself together. But his cheeks turn bright red and he feels hot everywhere. I just think it would be a nice apology for not letting him finish the first time. 

I kiss him as I wait for him to be able to become responsive again. His lips are so fucking soft. After a long while, he finally kisses me back and loosens his grip on me.

"So?" I ask and he grins looking all happy and fucked out.

"I missed you," he whispers and then I help him take his wet shirt off. He laughs softly and then kisses me. "Please do that again."

***

"I don't know, he just gave it to me." Diego and I exchange looks because neither of us can't believe what we're hearing.

"He's kidding right?" Diego leans forward in his chair and I shake my head.

We're currently hanging out in Charlie's backyard. Charlie Scott and Winston are inside while Diego Justin and I 'tan' by the pool. Except it's hard to tan when I have my shirt on. I told Winston not to claw at my back last night but he just couldn't help himself.

"Unfortunately he's being serious," I say. Justin is trying to explain to Diego what happened last night and Diego seemed a bit uncomfortable at first but only I know that he's been through something like this before. It's not my place to tell.

Justin just bumped into some guy who sold him some pills that may have been sugar pills for all we know and he still took them.

"Maybe it was opiates," Diego suggests. We'd like to know what Justin took just in case. But Justin is being useless, he just shrugs and mumbles every time we ask him a question. 

Justin gets to avoid more awkward questions when the other three wall back out of the house. All of them grinning and whispering amongst each other.

We know that we're not allowed to continue the conversation. Diego doesn't want Charlie to know because he worries too much and Scott is still shaken up about it so I'd rather not mention it. As for Winston, I'll tell him if I get the chance.

I didn't get to tell him before because we were... busy and then on our way to Charlie's house he just explained the whole Louis situation so William wouldn't mess with my head again.

Charlie sits beside Diego and he even brought him a drink that he sets out on the table in front of them. Diego smiles at him and strokes Charlie's cheek with his thumb. Okay, that's definitely gay.

"Why are you walking so funny?" I tear my eyes away from the love birds at Justin's question. He's looking Winston up and down while he tries his best to walk properly but he looks like he's trying to disguise a limb. He blushes at the question and looks my way.

Maybe we should have stopped after the second time. Or the third time. But we didn't stop until the fourth. We could have kept going but we fell asleep.

"Oh," Justin says and he blushes too when he realises. Doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Diego laughs at him and Winston quickly walks over to me to avoid more embarrassment.

He doesn't sit down on the empty chair next to me, he comes over and sits in my lap. I gently pull him closer and he still winces.

"Where are Zach and Alex?" I ask attempting to change the subject as everyone is staring at us. I don't need them to know how hard I fucked Winston just a few hours ago.

"They went to the city," Charlie tells me and we all stare at him. He realises that he needs to explain. "To meet Zach's family or something. He's only staying for a week."

"Sounds serious," Scott says. Meeting Zach's family? Wow, they weren't kidding about their plans.

No one says anything for a moment. Diego looks like he's deep in thought, Charlie is observing him. I'm still unsure of what they are, are they dating or just messing around with each other? I'd say that Charlie is head over heels for Diego and Diego needs to thread lightly but he's no better himself.

"When do I get to meet your family?" Winn then breaks the silence and he leans back and smiles at me. I can't tell if he's being serious.

"You already met my family," I say quietly. He met Estela and Tony, that's enough. Why would he meet my parents?

"I'd offer to introduce you to mine but..." Winston says and he laughs.

"Yeah I think knowing William is enough," I say and I realise that Diego and Charlie are staring at us and grinning. "What?"

"Nothing," they say simultaneously but then they share a look and they burst into laughter.

I glare at them. "What?" Winston tries to shift in my lap and he winces again. Scott and Justin start their own conversation not bothered with what's going on around them.

"I just think that... big bad Montgomery de la Cruz is going soft," Charlie comments and he raises his eyebrows at me.

"And I think that anyone who doesn't know how to ride a bike shouldn't be allowed to have an opinion," I tell him and Charlie blushes. "You're what? Sixteen? Learn how to ride a bike."

"Hey, leave him alone. He's trying his best," Diego tells me and then he explains that he's been trying to teach Charlie how to ride a bike for the past few days.

"And how's that working out for you?" I ask and Winston gives me this look that says 'don't be a dick' but I can't help it. I don't want the guys to think I've gone soft. I haven't.

"We're making progress," Diego says which actually means that they haven't made any progress at all. I've tried teaching Charlie how to ride a bike before. He fell, scraped his knee and then I gave up. Hopefully, Diego has more patience than me.

"If you need help or anything then I can always help out," Winston offers.

Diego shakes his head. "I'd say sure but it looks like you can't even sit down properly, nevermind ride a bike." Diego sniggers and Charlie lightly hits him on the shoulder.

"Oi!" I say and I throw a towel at Diego's head. Winston's face is now redder than a tomato and he buries it into my neck to hide it.

Soon Scott and Justin join in the teasing too and I let them. It goes on like this until it turns dark and we lose track of time.


	18. The Gay Spectrum

**Chapter Eighteen**

  
With Zach and Alex gone, the Bakers needed at least one more person to help them out at the orchard. And guess who volunteered.

He's not even helping out, he sits on the side and gossips with Hannah. Occasionally he calls my name or goes over just to hug me. He doesn't understand that I'm actually trying to work.

William didn't know what to think of Winston working at the orchard. On one hand, he was happy to hear that his younger brother was 'doing something with his life' but on the other hand we all knew that it was an excuse to spend more time with me.

I can't say that he's not trying because he did help out yesterday. He was exhausted after and he fell asleep in my bed the minute his head touched the pillow. At least he knows how I feel now when he drags me around beaches and whatever else for half the night.

But today he's just taking the piss. He picked one apple, sat down, ate it and now Hannah is sat with him and complementing his skirt. Who wears a skirt to go apple picking?

Winn isn't getting paid for this even though the Bakers insisted, he said he just wants to help out. Liar.

"Oh, Monty! You missed one!" he shouts over to me when I leave one apple on the branch because I simply don't have enough space in my hands to carry six apples. He's doing it on purpose just to piss me off.

I turn my head and glare at him before picking the last apple. "Happy?" he grins and then he turns back to Hannah.

By the time lunch comes around, Winston has still picked just one apple but eaten three. Hannah who is 'supervising' doesn't really care, Winn's got her wrapped around his little finger.

I wish Zach was here, I'm actually starting to miss him. I wonder what Chloe thinks of her boyfriend leaving to introduce _his_ boyfriend to his parents. Messy.

Instead, I get Scott and Justin. They stand by the table and they pile food into their plates as they talk and laugh with each other. They're just messing around with each other, I think Scott is still kind of hoping that William will talk to him about what happened. But Justin is falling hard and it hurts to watch. Scott did always have problems getting close and affectionate with people.

"So what are we getting for lunch?" Winston stands behind me but I don't answer him as I put some bacon on my plate. I decided to stay away from Scott and Justin, didn't want to interrupt the two even if they were the only friends I had here.

Winston sighs and he repeats the questions after wrapping his arms around me from behind.

"I'm not talking to you," I huff out and I add two eggs to my plate. Can't remember the last time I had fried eggs. I wish their smell was enough to distract me from Winston's wandering hands. He slides them lower down so that his arms are wrapped around my lower stomach.

He doesn't ask why I'm not talking to him, he knows he's been annoying me all day because that's what he likes to do. So much for him being good.

"You're so mean to me," he mumbles and kisses my shoulder. I scoff and try to shake him off. Mean to him? I've been anything but mean to him.

I manage to get out from his grasp and then I walk over to the tree with my plate. I sit under it and Winston follows me. He's like a puppy. Worse actually. Champ at least doesn't need my attention 24/7. I hope he doesn't miss me too much while I'm here working, he seemed to be okay yesterday.

I rest my back against the trunk of the tree and I wrap the bacon around my fork. Winston sits down next to me and puts his head on my shoulder. How the fuck am I meant to pretend to be mad at him?

I place the plate in my lap to free one hand and then I wrap it around his shoulder. He smiles at me and I hate that I've already given in to him.

"I'm tired," he says and I roll my eyes.

"You haven't done anything all day," I remind him and I swallow the piece of bacon in my mouth. 

"Sorry. I got distracted by you," he tells me and then he turns his head and kisses the corner of my mouth. He grins. "Mmm, salty." I laugh at him and push his head away but he clings on twice as hard.

"Are you hungry?" I ask him when I notice that he hasn't got a plate of his own. He shrugs so I take a strip of bacon from my plate and I hold the fork close to his lips. "Open up."

I feed him like that a couple of times while eating too and my plate is cleared within two minutes. Winston offers to fill it up again so he takes my plate and walks back over to the table.

I cross my arms behind my head and I smile to myself as Winston piles bacon and more onto the plate. He turns around and gives me a short wave.

"He's cute, right?" I hear the feminine voice and I'm about to jump in with 'and gay' until I realise that it's only Hannah. I sigh and she sits down next to me.

"What's he said about me now?" I groan. He was talking with her for way too long and he kept on glancing my way. I know him enough to know that he's probably been blabbing about me.

"Nothing," Hannah tells me which surprises me. Winston turns around and he sees that I'm sat with Hannah, he bites his bottom lip nervously and stays where he is by the table.

"But you two aren't exactly being discreet," Hannah says and she laughs. Yeah maybe feeding him while he cuddles up to me doesn't exactly give off straight vibes.

"And?" I'm not sure what Hannah wants, does she just want to find out what's going on? Fuck, is she gonna tell Jeff? Of course, she is, he's her boyfriend. What would Jeff think of me being with a guy? Would be care? Doubt it.

"Nothing," Hannah says again. But she sighs and she smiles at me sweetly. "It's just obvious that he likes you." My heart thuds at her words and I look down at the ground. In the back of my mind, I had somehow known that Winston likes me, but I haven't really thought about it much. It's fucking scary man.

"You're really sweet with him," Hannah then adds like she hasn't embarrassed me enough already. I don't blush easily because of my complexion but I can feel my cheeks turning pink.

She's used to seeing me in the school corridors pushing people around jokingly, getting into fights and insulting Alex at every chance I get. Damn high school really wasn't that long ago.

"No I'm not," I huff and Hannah raises an eyebrow but she can see that it's pointless talking to me. I'm just... Nice to him. And he's nice to me. We're friends.

Winston returns with the plate just in time to save me from this conversation so Hannah smiles at him and then leaves us to it.

"What was that about?" Winston asks and he sits down next to me before balancing the plate on my knee.

"Nothing," I mutter as I stare after Hannah. Then I turn to Winston and I look him up and down. "Do you like me?"

His cheeks turn bright pink and he looks down at the ground. "Do I really need to answer that?" he mumbles quietly and runs his fingers through his hair.

 _"Yes,"_ I say and I nudge him with my elbow. "I answered when you asked me, didn't I?" He groans and brings his knees up to his chest so he can rest his forehead on them instead of looking at me. "Come on, say it," I say and I place my hand on his hip.

He mutters something and then he laughs nervously. " _Fine_. Okay? I like you." His face turns even redder when he says it and I grin without even meaning to. "Can we talk about something else now?"

I cut the egg with my fork and then I put a piece in my mouth. "Like what?" I ask and Winston leans back against my shoulder. I have to move the plate as it almost falls off my knee. He opens his mouth again (pretty sure just to avoid the question) and I feed him with a piece of bacon.

"Like what?" I repeat and he sighs.

"I don't know," he says and shrugs. "Maybe you could put some effort into this re...friendship."

"Refriendship?" I tease him and by this point, he's blushing so much that I feel bad for him. I put my warm hand on his burning cheek and I bring his head closer to my chest to hide his face. Even _I_ slipped up once while I was on the phone with Scott so I understand. But I'm not gonna tell him that because just know he'd have way too much fun with that information.

"Monty?"

"Yeah?"

I'm already expecting the 'what are we' conversation to follow and I'm dreading it because I don't have an answer for it. We're friends who mess around with each other from time to time. Friends who may or may not have accidentally caught feelings for each other. Friends who own a dog together and sleep in the same bed most of the time.

But Winston goes in a completely different direction. "Can I have some of the egg too?" he asks innocently so I smile at him and then I feed him one of the eggs piece by piece until he tells me that he's full. And soon after lunch ends and we have to get back to work.

Or at least I do.

***

I'm certain that he's just pretending to be this tired. What could he possibly have done to cause him to fall asleep in five minutes? It wasn't like I was even trying to get him to sleep. I was just cuddling him and then he fell asleep on top of me and now I can't move.

One of his legs rests between my own, his knee just below my crotch and I rest one hand on his lower back just to make sure he doesn't slide off.

He got to work after lunch, actually tried to help me out but then he started distracting me too and I had to swap him with Scott. So he and Justin worked together. It's funny how them two being around each other doesn't bother me as much anymore.

Winston breaths into my neck and his chest raises up and down with every breath he takes. I wouldn't mind just laying with him like that for a while. I get annoyed if Justin or one of the other guys sleep in and get touchy with me (especially Justin) but I don't mind Winston.

Except I'm bored. Very bored without having Winston or Champ to keep me entertained. Champ got bored of us and left, probably to look for Estela who's been giving him way too much attention this past week.

I lay there bored out of my mind for another few minutes and I contemplate 'accidentally' nudging Winn just to wake him up. But I let him sleep.

I don't fall asleep myself. I could if I tried but I know that once I do, I won't be waking up until tomorrow morning.

I eventually give up trying to be nice and I gently move my leg around to wake Winston up. He stirs but doesn't wake up. Next, I roll my shoulder to get him to wake up for at least a second. He grunts and frowns but then he just buries his face further into my neck and moves his leg.

"Yeah, just knee me in the dick. Completely fine with me," I complain and Winston giggles. He mutters an apology and then moves his knee away from my crotch. Luckily for me, he doesn't try to go back to sleep.

He breaths into my shoulder again and then he smiles. "You smell nice." I smell like apple trees and bacon but whatever. I already knew he was weird. 

He brushes his head past my jawline and I don't tell him that it tickles in case he remembers to check if I'm ticklish. He lays on top of me for longer than I want him to and at some point, I start to get hard and I have to push him off of me. He knows what's going on and he starts laughing when he lands next to me on the mattress.

He lays his head on the pillow so that's it's centimetres away from mine and then he starts joining the dots on my face with his fingers again. He opens his mouth like he wants to say something but then he closes it again. We lay in silence, smiling at each other as he traces his finger over my skin.

At some point, I close my eyes but Winston doesn't stop. Then he moves onto my eyebrows and he runs one finger across it. "Do you do your eyebrows?" he asks me and I scoff.

"No," I say and I pause. I open my eyes to see Winston carefully inspecting my eyebrows. I was just born with really nice eyebrows. "But you do," I state and I stroke his eyebrows with my thumbs.

He laughs and tries to get my hands away from him. "Only sometimes, okay?" he says and I move my hands away from his face.

Then I gently touch the scar in his eyebrow. "What happened here?"

He shrugs uneasily. "I slipped and fell when I was little."

I kiss the scar on his eyebrow and he giggles. "I think Charlie was right about you getting soft," he says and I know that he's just teasing me. It's okay as long as he's the one saying it. He rests his temple against my forehead and he closes his eyes. "Am I making you soft?"

"No, you're making me hard actually," I tease him and he laughs at me. I always make fun of him for being so horny all the time but I think I understand now. 

He puts one hand on my cheek and tilts his head. "Do you want me to-" he begins but we get interrupted by a knock. Whoever it is, I don't want them seeing me this close to Winston. Especially because it's probably one of my parents or Estela. So I shift away from Winston and sit up.

"Come in!" The door slides open and Tony stands there in the doorway. He looks awkward like he usually does whenever he needs me to do him a favour. He's holding a dirty white rag that he wipes his hands on.

"What is it?" I ask and then Winston sits up too and puts his head on my shoulder. So much for us being discreet. Although I think we stopped being discreet the second he started spending every minute of his day with me in my room.

"I'm sorry to have to ask you but..." Tony begins and he shakes his head. He hates asking for stuff especially because my dad gave him a job. He's part of the family pretty much but he hates feeling like he has to depend on someone else. "I promised Caleb that I'd pick up the cake for his mother's birthday but I'm not gonna finish the car until-"

"I can go," I quickly cut in seeing that Tony is having trouble getting to the point. Pick up a cake? Easy. I wouldn't mind going to town even if I'm slightly tired.

Tony lets us (yeah, _us._ Winston made it clear that he was going with me) borrow his car and he gives me the order for the cake so I can show it at the counter.

Winston messes around with Champ while talking to Estela and Tony tells me to be careful driving his car. 

"And I don't want the dog in my car," he says loud enough for Winston to hear. He pouts and kisses Champ on the side of his tiny head.

"He'll behave," Winston tries to convince Tony but he shakes his head. Winston then looks at me. "Monty, tell him." It's cute that he thinks I have a say when it comes to Tony's car. 

"I'll look after him while you're gone," Estela says and Winston doesn't look happy but he gives the dog to her and then he gets in the car without saying another word. 

I take the keys from Tony and then I sit in the driver's seat. I pat my pocket for my wallet with the driving license in even though I know that ninety-nine percent of the time I don't need my driving license and I'd get away without bringing it with me.

"Cheer up," I say and I push Winston's knee gently as he stares out of the window. I hope he's not that upset about not being able to take Champ with us. But then he turns his head and smiles at me.

"Seatbelt," he reminds me. 

***

After picking the cake up for Tony and placing it in the car so that it wouldn't melt, we stopped to get something to eat. Winston had never been in this part of town, the one that doesn't resemble a poor town from the 80s. There are shopping centres, cafes, restaurants, cinemas...

"What are you getting?" Winston asks me as he fiddles around with his menu. I told him that I'd pay and now he's acting all weird like he doesn't know what he wants to eat.

I shrug. "Pizza, why?" 

"I'll have some too then," he decides and he puts the menu down on the table. He grins at me while I order our food and drinks.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I then tell him once the waiter leaves. He doesn't look keen on being left alone but surprisingly he doesn't follow me into the bathroom.

There's a fucking queue the size of the great wall of China and I consider going back but that would be too awkward. So I wait in line for about twenty minutes because the plumbing broke or something and the bathroom was basically flooding. I'll just hold it in next time.

When I walk back out, our food is already at the table and Winston is looking down and smiling at his phone. I try to get a peek of what he's doing as I sit down but all I can see is that he's texting someone.

He doesn't acknowledge that I sat down next to him until I pull my plate closer and I take a bite of my pizza.

He looks up and grins. "Aw, you were so cute as a baby."

I raise an eyebrow and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. "What are you talking about?"

He laughs quietly and then he holds his phone up to show me a picture of me when I was a kid. I almost choke on my food.

"W-where did you get that from?" I ask and I try to snatch his phone but he moves it out of my reach. Baby pictures have got to be the most embarrassing thing to ever exist. It's not even a cute picture, its one of me stuffing my fingers into my mouth. I know that Josiah took this one.

He doesn't answer, he just grins to himself and then seconds later he shows me another picture. My first yearbook picture when I started elementary school. "Courtesy of Estela," he tells me and then he goes back to texting my sister. I'll kill her when I get home.

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, keep grinning. I'll just ask William for your baby pictures." I wouldn't talk to William in a million years, especially after our last conversation, but I have to get Winston's baby pictures somehow.

He shrugs and then puts his phone away. He reaches for his plate. "I doubt there are any. We only have pictures of William around the house," he says with a shrug but there's an edge to his voice like it bothers him.

He changes the topic quickly. "Wow, your eyebrows were nice even back then," he teases me and I nudge him under the table with my foot. We mess about for a while, teasing each other, eating our food and our knees keep touching throughout.

It's only past five but Tony said that we needed to be back by six so I pay for our food and then we go back to the car. Winston checks in on the cake to make sure that it hasn't melted or we'll be in a lot of trouble. 

"And?" I ask and I put my seatbelt on. 

Winston covers the cake again with the box lid. "Nah, it looks fine. But we should put it in the fridge when we get home," he tells me. "Just in case." The last thing we wanna do is ruin this for Tony. 

I glance at the cake and then at Winston as he puts his seatbelt on. "When's your birthday?" I ask him and he pauses. He keeps telling me that he's 'almost eighteen' but I don't know his birthday.

"Soon," he replies and then he looks down at his feet. "We should get home before the cake melts." He looks uneasy for some reason and I decide that I'll just ask about his birthday another time.

I drive home as fast as possible and Tony is still working in the garage when I park the car. He comes over just for a minute to see the cake. 

"So?" Winston asks and he holds the box in his hands. "Did we pass?" Tony rolls his eyes but the grin on his face is there. He nods and Winston smiles proudly before leaving to put the cake away in the kitchen.

"He's..."

"I know," I interrupt Tony. Winston isn't easy to handle but I just about manage it. Just about. 

Tony is still staring at me and I look around awkwardly. "So are you two together?" Tony asks casually and I laugh. 

"I'm not gay." I think there should be like a spectrum, it would make things easier. I'm not gay like Winston is but I'm slightly gay. Gay enough to fuck a guy but not gay enough to date one if that makes sense. 

I hope Winston knows that. Maybe I'm spending too much time with him, I don't want him to think that this is anything more than a friendship.

"All done! Second drawer in the freezer," Winston tells Tony and then he comes over to me and stands way too close. Tony gives us one look and then he turns away and goes back into the garage. 

"So what should we do now?" Winston asks me and he puts his hands on my hips. He pushes me back against the side of the garage and he's got me pinned against the wall.

It takes all the strength left in my body to say, "I'm actually kind of tired." It's not exactly a lie but... It's an excuse to get Winston away from me for a short while. I need to work out what to do with him and it's difficult to think when he's around me all the time.

He pouts at me and tilts his head to the side. At least he's not upset that I want to sleep. He sighs like he wants to ask me something but then he decides against it and takes a step back. "So.. I'll leave you to it," he says and he smiles at me. This is the part where I'm supposed to take his arm, pull him back and tell him that he's not going anywhere because he's sleeping over again.

But instead, I just smile back and say bye. I don't know who looks more upset, me or Winn.

***

Wednesday was a weird day. Winston didn't come to work because he said he had some photography stuff to deal with. Then he texted me after work asking if I want him to come over. I said that I was tired again and then I went to sleep.

I wasn't tired but I felt sick. It wasn't a stomach bug or the flu, I just felt sick whenever I thought about seeing Winston. I wanted to see him but at the same time, I didn't. Everything felt so... weird around him. _He_ made me feel weird.

Then on Thursday, I was planning on ignoring him again but surprisingly he showed up to work. I was minding my own business picking the apples when Winston walked up behind me.

"You're ignoring me," he states and I sigh quietly. Fortunately, he can't see my face because I have my back to him. I slowly walk back down the ladder and he crosses his arms over his chest. "Why?"

"I'm not ignoring you," I say and I don't look him in the eye. He scoffs, we both know I'm lying. I run my fingers through my hair and I look around for Scott or Justin or anyone that could come and rescue me. They're far away, running around a tree. Looks like Scott is trying to catch Justin.

"Monty!" Winston says and I realise that he was talking to me. I turn my head towards him and he doesn't look angry, he's confused. Yeah, so am I.

"Sorry," I mutter. "What were you saying?"

He lets his arms swing by his sides and he inches towards me. "I just... Is something wrong? Did _I_ do something wrong?" Great, now he thinks that this is his fault. No, it's just me being... Me.

I shake my head. "No, you-" I say and I sigh. "I'm not ignoring you."

"But you _are,_ " he says and he takes my hands in his. It's the first time I've touched him in days and suddenly my heart skips a beat. This is what I mean, he makes me feel so fucking weird.

I pull my hands back and groan. "I'm not, okay?" I say and it comes out harsher than expected. Winston takes a step back and before I can apologise, he turns around and walks away from me leaving me by myself.

I could run after him but that would defeat the whole purpose of being away from him to figure my shit out. So I climb up the ladder again and I start picking the apples.

I keep focused on the work but I can't really think about anything else other than Winston. It's so fucking weird. Like I obviously don't want to date him but I don't want him to be dating anyone else either.

I don't know what's wrong with me and why I'm acting like this but I am. Am I overthinking this? 

Occasionally I glance his way to see that he's working by himself. I keep glancing even though I try not to and after a few minutes, one of the new guys walks over to help him. I've seen him around a couple of times but only this summer, he's one of the new kids from New York and he walks over to Winn and grins at him.

What the hell is this bullshit?

I completely freeze in place and I can't look away. Big mistake. Winston notices that I'm staring while the guy talks to him and he smiles back at the guy.

I tell myself not to cause a scene. They're probably just talking about... apples and the guy doesn't even look gay.

But then Winston says something, gestures to the ladder and the blonde boy moves to stand behind the ladder. Winston stays on it, picking the apples while the blonde boy holds it still. That ladder was standing still before, it wasn't wobbling. What is Winston playing at?

I grit my teeth and I tell myself to keep it together. I don't own Winston and if he wants some guy to stare at his ass then that's- Wait. This motherfucker really _is_ staring at Winn's ass.

I climb down the ladder so fast that I almost tip it over but I don't care. I walk straight over to this blondie and I nudge him with my shoulder. "I got it, man," I say and I try to push him out of the way and hold onto the ladder myself.

"No, it's fine. _I_ got it," he tells me with this innocent smile on his fucking face. He pushes me back with his shoulder and I've had enough of him already. I push him back even harder and then both of us let go of the ladder. Winston stays at the top and he cranes his neck to watch what's happening. I don't pay much attention to him because I'm too fucking focused on this blonde guy.

"What the hell dude?" he says and he glares at me. He doesn't get physical and he keeps his distance but I walk closer to him so that our foreheads are almost touching. "What's your problem?"

"I don't appreciate you fucking staring at his ass," I say and I nod in Winn's direction without taking my eyes off the blonde dude. 

His cheeks turn slightly pink like he realises that he's been caught. "Yeah? And who the fuck are you?" he says and _then_ he pushes me back.

I don't even need a second to respond. I launch at him and tackle him to the ground. He falls on his back and I hover above him. "I'm his fucking boyfriend!" Maybe if it wasn't for Justin and Scott suddenly pulling me back then I'm certain that I would have punched him. 

Justin and Scott drag me away before I can look at Winston but I know that everyone else is staring at me. 

"Fuck, calm down I'm only 5'8, I can't hold you back," Scott mutters as he drags me back towards the house. I get tired struggling so I stop which is when Justin loosens his grip on me. 

They take me back into the house where Hannah tells me to go to the kitchen and get a drink to calm down. I'm perfectly fucking calm. I'm just glad that her parents weren't around to see this.

I sit down on the stool and the guys stay with me. Justin sits next to me and Scott pours me a glass of cold water. I hold onto it tightly but I don't even take a sip.

I wish I could think about what the hell just happened but I'm too angry to be able to even recall anything.

They don't ask me what happened but they stare at me like they expect me to explain. What's there to fucking explain? I saw something that I didn't like and I put a stop to it.

Hannah tells the guys that they should be getting back to work so they leave reluctantly and Hannah walks over to me and sits down in the stool that Justin previously sat.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," I say automatically and I tap my finger against the glass. Hannah raises an eyebrow to show that she doesn't believe a word of my bullshit. 

"Monty, if you need to talk to-"

"No," I interrupt her and she sighs seeing that this is pointless like usual. How do I even put this into words? She won't understand.

There's a gentle tapping sound on the wooden door of the kitchen and I look up to see Winston standing in the doorway. He smiles at me and Hannah immediately stands up from the stool.

"Can we talk?" he asks quietly and I nod. So Hannah leaves the room and once she walks past him, he walks inside and he closes the door behind him. Neither of us says anything, we just stand there looking at each other.

I expect Winston to bombard me with a million questions but he just sighs and sits down opposite me, not next to me like everyone else has. I appreciate the space he's giving me.

He leans over the table and smiles nervously like he has no idea what to say. I'll start.

"I'm sorry," I mumble. 

"What for?" he asks immediately and he cocks his head to the side. 

I sigh and I put my head in my hands. I thought apologising was the right thing to do. "I just... I don't know. It's so fucking confusing." I almost just beat a guy up for simply looking at him. And I'll fucking do it again. Am I even sorry?

"What's confusing?" he asks and I feel my heart thud. What am I even meant to say to that?

I look up and he's waiting for an answer. "This," I say quietly and I gesture to him and then to me. "Us."

"No it's no, you're just making it confusing for yourself." Winston protests and he sighs. He once told me that relationships can't be complicated. I believe that they can. And we're not even in a relationship. " _Stop_ it, stop overcomplicating it. If you want to hang out with me then do it. You want to kiss me? Do it. Want me to sleep in your bed? Sure, I'd love to. Not everything has to... have a deeper meaning behind it."

He says that but I can tell that even _he's_ having trouble believing it. There comes a point where he sleeps in my bed one too many times to be 'just friends'. I feel like I'm fucking this whole thing up. This thing that we have going on between us. 

"I think... I think I just need some time away from you," I say and Winston's face falls. "No, I-I just... You make it so fucking difficult for me. Whenever I'm around you, I can't even focus on anything but you. Okay? I just need to get my shit together."

Winston nods slowly like he finally understands what I'm trying to say. "Okay..." he says and we sit in silence for a moment until he clears his throat. "You did... floor him pretty good though. I understand the Wrestling Champion title now."

He's making jokes. That's good. 

"Shut up," I say but I can't stop grinning. So what happens now? Do we just go back to work and pretend that didn't happen? Am I ruining it?

Then Winston stands up slowly. "I'll, erm... I'll go home now. Leave a bit early," he says and he smiles at me. "I'll give you all the time that you need," he says and for a second he stops like he's considering kissing me. But he doesn't. He just gives me a small nod and he walks out leaving me alone again.

Neither of us mentioned anything that I said or did, it seems so surreal. I'm beginning to question if maybe I imagined it after all.

***

I think this has got to be the weirdest thing to ever happen to us. We all knew that Zach and Alex were coming back on Friday morning but it surprised us all to have them text us at six in the morning to meet them immediately.

I groggily got out of bed, pulled on a shirt and some joggers and then I biked all the way to Zach's house. I was the last one there but it wasn't my fault, my house is really far away from Zach's.

"What's going on?" I ask and I stop my bike next to Winston. He looks tired and he leans against me as I sit down on the bike seat. Why isn't he sleeping properly? He's been tired all week.

After our conversation yesterday, I stayed up all night thinking. I don't think that I even slept a second which is why it was so easy for me to get out of bed when I received Zach's text.

I'm starting to really miss him. I feel like I messed up with this whole 'what are we' thing. I can't help it, it's making me lose my mind. But it feels natural to have him lean against me again, almost like we haven't been apart for even a second.

"We were just waiting for you," Alex tells me and he's got this giant grin plastered all over his face. Zach is hugging him from behind and they're both grinning, laughing and looking at each other.

I notice that even Bryce is here, standing in between Justin and Scott. Diego is sat on a plastic chair and Charlie is in his lap, hanging onto his neck. 

"So?" Justin asks and he yawns. I'm surprised he managed to get up this early by himself, he usually- Wait a damn minute. Is that Scott's shirt? Oh. He slept over at Scott's. Again. I roll my eyes.

"Okay, we have some news," Alex says excitedly and I lean forward in the bike seat. Zach takes Alex's hand and he holds it up to reveal a ring on Alex's finger.

Zach grins even though we all look confused as hell. "We got married!" 

Excuse me...

What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	19. Not Going To Plan

**Chapter Nineteen**

How do you plan a wedding in about twenty-four hours?

Well, first you must start planning, something we have yet to do.

Zach and Alex eloped and now both of their families are annoyed with them for getting married without their relatives around. So that's how they came up with this idea of a second wedding, something to please everyone. Especially Justin who went around muttering 'unbelievable' and 'my best friend didn't even invite me to his own wedding'. I'm not sure who he was talking about as neither Zach nor Alex are his friends. Not best friends anyway.

"How do you even..." Scott asks and his eyebrows furrow as he tries to work it out. "How the hell did you go from meeting Zach's parents to getting married?"

We're sitting in Zach's house still, no one has left as we're all sticking around for a storytime. It's just past seven so we've still got plenty of time left for planning. Or at least we hope that we do.

Zach is sitting on an armchair, Alex in his lap. Charlie is sitting down on the couch while Diego lays down and rests his head in Charlie's lap. He plays with his dark locks and Diego doesn't stop smiling at him. I doubt he's even paying attention to anything anyone is saying.

Scott and Justin are taking up the other couch so Winn and I have to settle on the floor. It's not even that bad, he sits down cross-legged and I lay down in his lap to receive that back rub that was promised to me a long time ago. 

Bryce is sticking around, I asked him about Brad just to… see if he was gonna stick around for good or just for today. He shrugged uncomfortably and that was everything I needed to know. Now he’s standing behind the couch that Justin and Scott are sitting on and listening to every word.

"Basically... I met Zach's parents and then we got married the next day," Alex says with a shrug like it's that simple. How do you even decide to get married like that? You just wake up one day and say 'hey let's get married' and everyone is supposed to be okay with that? Why are they choosing to get married  _ here _ out of all places, aren't they worried about what people will think? Two guys?

Zach explains how they just both felt like getting married so they went and did it. I wish I had that amount of confidence in my refriendship with Winston. I still don’t get it, marriage is supposed to be like forever or some shit. Are they really sure that they want to stay together forever?

Zach and Alex have known each other for years, ever since Zach started vacationing here. But they didn't start...  _ This  _ until last summer when they kissed as a joke just to piss William off. One year.

I wonder if this could be me and Winston in a year's time. And then I laugh at just how ridiculous the idea sounds. Winston would look good in a wedding dress. But so would Chloe. Chloe. Focus on Chloe. Well, not now. Focus on Chloe  _ later _ . You get the idea.

Winston's hand stops moving up and down my back and I grunt. "Why'd you stop?"

He sighs and he doesn't have the same amount of confidence in his voice like he usually does. "Too tired."

Zach and Alex finish their storytime and then Alex focuses on Winston. They all seem to notice that he looks more tired than usual. "You sleep okay?" Zach asks him and Winston shakes his head.

I sit up so that I'm sitting next to him and I put my arm around him. "Why not?" I feel like it’s my fault, I’ve been avoiding him and I know that it could have kept him awake. And the only time I want to keep him up at night is... Well.

He rests his head against my collarbone and then rolls his eyes. "Fucking Justin and Scott were going at it the whole night."

Scott blushes a deep shade of red and even Justin seems embarrassed for once. He clears his throat. "But your room is all the way downstairs."

"Yeah, exactly," Winston snaps at him so I gently rub his shoulder to get him to calm down. My baby's in a pissy mood but I bet I could change that. Scott mouths an apology to me and I simply roll my eyes at him and then I pull Winston closer to me.

"So what do you need us to do?" I ask Zach and Alex because I want to be out of here as fast as I can and then Winston can finally sleep in my bed. I look over at the guys, they all seem eager to help. Even Bryce has this gleam in his eye like he does whenever he’s really excited for something. 

Zach and Alex exchange looks as if finally realizing how much work a wedding actually is. "Well, erm... We need a cake-" Of course food is their first priority.

"My mom can do that," Scott interrupts and Zach nods. We all know Scott’s mom is the best at baking cakes. _ And _ it would be faster than ordering from a bakery. Come on people, we’re on a budget and a time limit.

"Okay, cake sorted," he says and then he hums and turns to Alex. It can’t be that simple… Can it?

"About clothes... it's not gonna be anything fancy but I don't want any of you showing up looking homeless to our wedding," Alex says and his eyes rest on Justin for a couple of seconds. All of us laugh even though Justin rolls his eyes.

"Fine, I'll get myself a suit somewhere," he mutters and I know what that means, he's going to be raiding all of our closets and begging us to let him borrow a tux. 

"Do you have a venue?" Bryce asks and I'm surprised that he's taking this so seriously. But it is our friends’ weddings after all and we need it to turn out good.

Alex shakes his head. "Hannah said she'll sort that out for us." So Hannah knows too, I wonder who else is helping out. Everyone, it seems.

In the end, we make a list of all the shit we need to get, buy and sort out. I'll also need to convince Tony to let us borrow his big speakers for the music.

Winston is almost half-dead by the time we're done, he can barely stand up on his own two feet but he staggers out of the house with Charlie by his side.

"Erm, Monty?" Zach calls after me and I turn around and stop.

"Yeah?" I look him up and down and he swallows nervously. "I'll also need a best man," he says and I nod.

"Who do you need me to call?" I ask and he stares at me. I frown, what's going o- "Oh!  _ Right!  _ Of course, I'll be your best man," I say and I laugh after hearing it out loud. Me as Zach's best man? Three weeks ago I was fighting with him over a girl. Or at least I thought I was.

Zach grins and then he pats me on the shoulder. "Alright but just be warned, Alex wants Charlie to be his best man." Me and Charlie? Fuck, I hope Diego doesn't take it to heart. Nah, I’m just kidding, those two are literally inseparable. 

Once Zach lets me leave, I walk outside to find that Winston stayed behind for me. He waits by my bike and he smiles at me. “Look…” he says when I walk over to him. “I know I said that I’d give you however much time you need but… How much longer do you need?”

He raises one eyebrow slightly and I grin. Obviously I wasn’t going to ignore him today, we have a wedding to plan. And I guess being away from him was kind of boring…

“Do you miss me already?” I ask him and he playfully pushes my shoulder with his. He won’t say it, he gets embarrassed telling me that he misses or likes me but then he’s completely fine telling me what he wants me to do to him when he’s horny.

“Shut up, are you still ignoring me or not?” he asks and I roll my eyes at him before placing my hands on his hips and pulling him close to me.

“I really _ really _ missed you,” I say slowly and his cheeks turn red. Maybe he can’t say it but I can. That time I spent away from him, it made me see that I was just being stupid. I needed to stop overthinking everything and just go with it. Just like Zach and Alex did and they seem to be doing fine.

He rubs his nose all over my neck and then he pulls away and smiles at me. “I want to be carried home.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” I say and his smile only gets wider. Looks like the bike will be getting left at Zach’s for now.

***

Charlie and me being the best men of the wedding (literally) means that we have to sort everything out and make sure  _ everything _ is in place.

We have Tony's speakers, Scott's whole family (including William) is helping out with the cake making, Bryce has the alcohol and is ordering a shit ton of food for tomorrow and Hannah is letting us use the orchard as a venue. All that and Justin still hasn't managed to get himself a tux.

"Please. Monty, I'm begging you," Charlie says over the phone. I had to borrow Tony's car and drive to town to pick up a bouquet from the florist. It took me ages to pick the perfect one but I had Zach helping me over the phone. We decided together. Still can’t imagine Alex holding a bouquet at his wedding. Winston would be able to pull it off though.

"I'm not letting the bastard borrow my fucking tux," I say firmly. Justin has one job. One. And I'm not doing it for him. He can steal his boyfriend's clothes for all I care. I'm kinda pissed off at them for keeping Winston up all night.

Speaking of, he was fine with me leaving to sort the bouquet out and he stayed to sleep in my bed. Hopefully, he's slightly more rested now because running errands without him is no fun.

"Fine, just call me when you’re free. We need people to sort out the venue,” Charlie tells me. Just because we have the orchard doesn’t mean that it’s ready. We still have to place some chairs there or something.

"Will do Mister Bossy. Bye," I say and then I hang up on Charlie. At least we have Charlie to make sure everything gets done properly. I slide the door to the barn open. 

Winston isn't in bed anymore. I stand in the doorway and I watch as Winston slowly moves around my bedroom. He has his eye closed and his earphones in, it looks like he's learning how to slow dance. He's got his hands in front of him like he's holding onto something and he shifts from foot to foot.

I smile to myself and I start walking towards him. He doesn't notice me until he twirls around and almost bumps into me. 

"What is wrong with you!" He lightly hits me on the shoulder and he quickly pulls his AirPods out. "You don't sneak up on people like that!" I laugh at him as he goes all shy and embarrassed and turns away from me. I love that I'm the only person he can get shy around.

"I wasn't sneaking up on you," I say as he huffs and sits down on my bed. "What were you doing anyway?" We both know what he was doing and he glares at me. 

"You know what," he says and he genuinely looks annoyed that I'm teasing him about this. Okay, maybe I'll tone it down a little. 

"Come 'ere," I say and I hold one hand out. "You can't practice slow dancing without a partner." He hesitates at first but he finally takes my hand and I pull him up to his feet. 

"I don't really know… " he says as I put one hand on his waist and I hold his other hand with my own. I'm not really used to slow dancing either, it's mostly just that I dance with my mom. Or used to dance with my mom. We don't really have the time or opportunity for that anymore. Luckily she did teach me some basics of slow dancing so I could impress girls at dances. I guess that didn't go as planned. 

"Just trust me, okay?" I say and Winston nods uncertainly. I try moving with him at first, no music in the back but he goes all stiff and weird and he starts overthinking about where his feet are meant to go. 

"I can't do it," he complains and he stops. 

"You're doing alright," I tell him and then I squeeze his hip. "Just try to relax, okay? You're trying too hard." Definitely trying too hard to get it perfect but he won't, not at the first try. And he doesn't need to get it perfect. 

"Can we do that easy version?" he asks. He let's go of my hand and he wraps his arms around my neck and presses his body against mine. "See? Problem solved." I mean… he's got a point. I put both hands on his waist and sure enough, it's much easier to dance with him like this. He's not doing anything weird with his arms. 

"Okay, okay. We still have a lot to do," I remind him and I glance at the time. "Are you feeling well-rested yet?"

He groans like he realises that we have stuff to do and he finally let's go of me and steps back. "Monty…"

"They need our help. Just for today," I say and I thought that he was just not in the mood to help out. But he's got a different problem this time. 

"I know, I know. But… What am I gonna wear?" he says and he looks around my room. "I have no clothes." I've seen his closet, he's got enough clothes to last him a lifetime. 

I roll my eyes at him. I used to have those exact same problems with Chloe when she was getting ready to go out. Not with me obviously, she was too ashamed of me to even think about going anywhere with me by her side. 

"Winn… why don't we worry about that tomorrow?" I offer and he grimaces. "Come on, we need to help out at the orchard." His eyes immediately flicker down at the ground. We both remember what happened the last time we were at the orchard, but we choose not to talk about it. It's better that way. Maybe. 

“Okay,” he says quietly and then he moves away from me and goes over to the couch where he left his shoes. I watch as he puts them on in silence and then he smiles to himself. “Do you think we could do what Zach and Alex did?” he asks and I raise an eyebrow.

“What? Get married?”

He rolls his eyes and ties his laces. “No-I mean, yeah that too but... “ he pauses and then he sighs and leans back on the couch. “How would you feel about… Me and you going to the city?” He pauses and I’m too… surprised to answer. “We could- I could show you my room and I could show you around like you did here and we could-”

“I don’t know,” I quickly say before he can get his hopes up. I’m not really… I haven’t really thought ahead about anything. Okay, sure, I’ll admit it. I was hoping that we could still keep in touch when the summer ends but I don’t even know how that would work out. 

But going back to the city with Winston? I don't even wanna think about how awkward that would be. I mean, living in his house? With his parents? Umm…

"Oh," Winston says and I try to ignore how disappointed he looks but I just can't. 

"Actually," I say and he looks up. "Maybe. We'll think about it, okay?" It's not a yes but it's better than a no and Winston seems okay with it. For the moment. 

He smiles at me and then he stands up from the couch. "Okay. Sounds good," he says and for once, I can sigh with relief knowing that I haven't completely messed it up again. "Now don't we have a wedding to organise?"

We sure do. 

***

News spread fast and so when Diego's father found out that he was taking part in 'that homo bullshit', he kept Diego busy and now we had one less person helping out. We had to keep Charlie busy to distract him. 

"They  _ are _ straight, okay?" Who knew that setting up chairs would be the most difficult part of the wedding process. They have to be set out in neat rows according to Charlie. But he wants it to be done perfectly.

"They're… People are gonna be sitting on them anyway. The chairs are gonna move around so it's not like it matters," Justin said backing me up. The three of us, me Justin and Charlie are in charge of the seats. 

I place another chair down at the end of the row and Justin crosses his arms over his chest and leans over one of the chairs. He hasn't even done much, he helps out but he also has many breaks. At least he's more helpful than Charlie who is now telling Justin to get off the chair or he'll ruin everything.

"Why do you care so much?" Justin asks and he moves another chair. I add another chair to the row, see the difference? 

"You're freaking out more than Zach and Alex," I say and Charlie scoffs and he walks away from us. He's taking this role of Alex's best man way too seriously, he needs to remember to have fun too. Although… yeah maybe we should be a bit more considerate because of the Diego thing. 

"Who upset Charlie?" I recognise the voice but it's weird hearing it somewhere other than school or the book store. I turn around and there he is, Jeff, grinning at us and walking towards us. He's got his sleeves rolled up and he shakes his head. 

"Monty," Justin says straight away, wanting to deflect the blame as always. Jeff raises his eyebrows at me and Justin immediately blushes. I think Justin used to have a crush on Jeff or something. A long long time ago back when it didn't even matter if you crushed on a boy or a girl because sexuality wasn't really a thing. 

"Always Monty, isn't it? " Jeff says and Justin blushes a deep shade of red. I remember now, in fourth grade, Justin put a Valentine's card in Jeff's locker and then he said that it was from me even though it was written in Justin's signature green pen. Green was his favourite colour and he refused to write with anything else. Let's hope Scott doesn't mind their little interaction.

"You gonna help out with the chairs or what?" I ask Jeff and he rolls his eyes but starts walking towards the still large stack of chairs. 

"I come by to see my girlfriend and I get used for free labour instead, not cool," Jeff says and he stacks a chair next to mine. That's because his girlfriend is busy with my-with Winston. Hannah's with Winston. 

Those two have bonded so quickly that I'm starting to feel left out. First, Hannah took him to the side to show him the chart she made of where the food, the dance floor and everything else would be so that it's clear. I told you, girls are much better at organising shit like this. But now those two are inside doing God knows what. I think Zach and Alex are with them actually because where else would they be. 

"Where's Scott?" Jeff then asks and he looks around. He's seen the whole group apart from Scott. Charlie and Bryce are carrying a table together to where (according to Hannah's chart) the food will be. 

We could just eat inside or at a restaurant, much easier and without all this fuss. But they all want to be extra. I don't even know how many people are coming to this wedding. Must be a lot though. 

"Erm… I think he's still helping out with the cake," I say and I wipe my forehead with the sleeve of my flannel. I haven't even realised how sweaty I am until now. Scott's mom can bake, sure, but this is a wedding cake that we're talking about. I just know she's gonna go over the top with it and the whole family is going to have to put in work. 

"If William touched it then I'm not eating it," Jeff says and I laugh at him. This whole time Justin is just watching us as he sits on one of the chairs. We don't even care about straight anymore, we just put the chairs down where we think they should go. It fits. 

"He'd poison it for sure, right?" I add and they both chuckle.

"William's anti-LGBTQ campaign is slowly becoming a reality," Jeff adds and at this point, we're all sweaty from the work so we stop and sit down on the chairs for a break. 

It's no surprise that William's always been homophobic. He hasn't said anything directly but he told us to keep it to ourselves and he makes that weird face whenever he sees two guys be too close to each other. He's kind of a dick. Now that I think about it, I'm really put off eating that cake. 

"Is Scott like… friends with him still?" Justin asks and he turns to me. He's smiling like he couldn't care less but I know better. I've seen the way he looks at Scott and they've only been seeing each other for what? A week? Boy, he's got it bad. 

Of course, Justin remembers how Scott used to act around William. I bet he'd prefer not to. I wonder if Scott told Justin about his kiss with William. Surely Scott must still have feelings for him. 

I shrug. They're both my friends but… I'm not gonna stir shit up while Scott is away, I'll just let Scott sort this mess out and explain himself. 

"Friends," Jeff scoffs and he stands up again. "Please. Who'd be willing to be friends with William? Stockholm syndrome or whatever if you ask me." I have no idea what Jeff is going on about but it's probably an insult to William so I laugh anyway. 

And then we have to go back to work because they all walk out of the house and tell us that we haven't got all day. 

"It's not my wedding," I mutter and Justin is the only one who hears, he snickers. 

"Getting married at eighteen? I smell a divorce," Justin jokes and then out of nowhere, Jeff hits him lightly with a chair. It's not even a proper hit, just a light smack on the ass but Justin screams. He can be such a drama queen sometimes. 

"What are you shrieking for?" I ask and I facepalm him on the forehead. He immediately swears and glares at me. 

"You try getting fucked by a guy all night, see how that feels," Justin says and Jeff just stands there and he stares at us. Justin grimaces and he touches his ass with one hand. It's kinda funny.

"Serves you right for keeping Winston up all night," I reply and Justin scoffs and raises his eyebrows.

"Why? Would you rather do that yourself?" Justin and I stare at each other and then Jeff clears his throat.

"I'm not sure what's going on... " he says and he stares at both of us. "But this sounds really gay." Yeah, kind of does. But Jeff is still staring at us and my eyes widen. 

"Oh! I'm not-I'm not gay or anything," I say and both of them stare at me in confusion. Justin scoffs and I sigh. "Okay… I may be… slightly gay."

"Please," Justin says and he laughs. "You don't have a straight bone in your body." 

He's wrong. He's fucking wrong but he has no idea about Chloe. No one has any idea about Chloe. Maybe except for Scott, he knew or at least suspected some things. I can't use Chloe to get out of this. 

"Who gives a shit?" Jeff says lightly and he chuckles like he couldn't care less. That's the attitude I like, I don't want to be analysed based on who I sleep with. "Right?" he says and he gives me a pat on the back. 

"Right," I agree and I get back to work. Exactly. Jeff is right, if only the rest of them could understand this. 

Justin just shakes his head at us. "It gets better once you're able to admit it," he says and then he walks past me and goes over to join Charlie and Bryce. 

Jeff is looking me up and down now and I'm starting to think that maybe he's beginning to change his mind and agree with Justin. Or not. 

"You don't have to listen to him," he says and I nod. I nod because I want him to shut up and not talk about this. "No one knows how you feel, except for you."

"Can we, like, drop this now?" I say and I mess around with the chair because the ground is uneven and it won't even stand straight. God, everything is pissing me off. 

"Of course," Jeff says and then he straightens up and looks towards the house. "But for what it's worth, I really like him. Winston, I mean."

I turn and look to where he's standing. He's stood between Hannah and Zach and Alex is standing opposite him. They're all laughing at something but I don't look at them, I look at him. 

He looks so good with the flannel he stole from me. The sleeves are the right length but the shirt is baggy, the wrong size. He looks good though, looks good in red. Looks good in anything actually. I'm smiling without even realising it. 

"Me too."

***

Wedding planning is exhausting but I think we did a decent job.

“Fuck, I’m not writing any vows,” Alex says and we laugh at him. After the whole day, we’re laying in the middle of a field somewhere, smoking weed and talking about anything that comes to mind. 

Zach’s family arrived a few hours ago and they’re all staying at their summer house, Zach doesn’t want to go see them yet so he’s staying with us.

“And I don’t have to kiss you in front of my parents, do I?” Alex says and that’s when I realise that I’ve never even seen them kiss. They’re really good at being discreet.

If only Winston and I could do that. But he’s laying on top of me and he’s barely awake. He’s exhausted but he’s trying his best to stay awake, he breathes into my neck and he plays with the collar of my flannel so at least I know that he’s awake.

We laugh at Alex again and then the joint gets passed to him so he finally shuts up. This isn’t as good as it could be, Diego isn’t here so Charlie decided not to come either. Scott just straight up bailed because he said he was too tired after making the cake so it’s just Zach, Alex, me, Winston, Justin and Bryce. Kinda wish Jeff was around too.

“So, Zachy. What’s married life like?” I ask him and then I have to shift slightly to be able to take the joint from Alex. I put my free hand on Winston’s lower back to keep him in place and he mumbles something about how he’s sleeping over at mine tonight. 

Alex immediately turns to Zach and Zach shrugs. “Good so far.”

Alex doesn’t seem happy with the response. “So far? Are you expecting something to go wrong?” he says but he’s just teasing Zach and they both grin at each other.

“Yeah, we get it. You’re in love,” Bryce says and he rolls his eyes but he’s not being spiteful. You’d think he’d be slightly meaner now that Brad like dumped him or something but no, he’s just good old Bryce.

“Very much so…” Zach says and then he puts his head on Alex’s shoulder. I’m surprised that Alex’s fragile bones can withstand the weight of Zach’s fat head.

“Hey,” I say and I nudge Winn. I offer him the joint when he looks up but he shakes his head. So he’s not even in the mood for weed. Something must really be bothering him. I pass the joint to Justin who, by the way, has been in a really pissy mood with everyone. I think it’s because Scott bailed.

“You wanna leave?” I whisper and Winston groans sleepily.

“Do you?”

Kind of, yes. I like hanging out with the guys but Winston is exhausted and he’s clearly got something on his mind. So I nod and he reluctantly gets up. The rest of them stare at us.

“Sorry, gotta get to bed early before tomorrow,” I tell them and they all make comments about how I’m not gonna get any sleep if Winston sleeps in the same bed as me. The last thing on my mind right now is sex. Well maybe not the last but you know what I mean.

So Winston and I walk away from them and we try to find the pathway. He trips over grass and he bumps into me and sighs like it’s my fault. Okay, I’ve never seen him this irritable.

“What’s up with you?” I ask him and he just rolls his eyes and looks away. Okay, now I’m actually worried. I hope he’s still not mad over the whole me going to the city with him thing. And he won’t even talk to me properly so I do the only thing I see as appropriate.

I pick him up and seeing as he’s already half asleep, he doesn’t try to fight me. There’s a tree nearby and I pin him against it and keep him in place. “What’s wrong?”

He’s trying so hard not to smile but he just shakes his head. “Monty, I’m tired.”

Yeah, so am I. “We’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s wrong.” I say and he throws his head back and sighs. I can’t help if I don’t know what the problem is. 

The guys are not that far away, I can’t see them but I can hear them laughing at the top of the hill. 

“I don’t want you to be m-”

“I’m not gonna be mad,” I cut him off, I’m tired of him thinking that he can’t tell me stuff because I’ll get angry with him. He doesn’t seem to be convinced so I move closer to him. “Talk to me, baby.”

He then pushes me away from him and he groans. “God, you’re so fucking confusing.” He covers his face with his hands. I don’t even know what to do, I’ve had him push me away before after that fight with Brad but… I’m too surprised to even move. I didn’t expect him to react like that.

He then takes his hands away from his face and he looks almost as shocked as me. “Oh! I’m sorry,” he says and he tries to pull me closer to him again. I shrug him off and he apologises again.

“What do you mean I’m confusing?” I ask him and I frown. Confusing how? By asking him what’s wrong? He starts chewing on his bottom lip and he leans back against the tree.

“It’s just that… One minute you’re calling me… baby and your boyfriend and whatever and then the next you don’t even want to be around me,” he says and he won’t look at me while he’s saying it. “I mean… Why else would you need space? I’ve been trying to think about it but-”

“Winston,” I say before he can start rambling again. Okay. Maybe I am a little confusing. But I don’t mean to be. “I just don’t really understand how this is supposed to work.” 

“Okay, then let’s make some rules,” Winston says with a shrug and he looks at me like he's expecting me to start off. I’m not starting off. Winston sighs. “Okay… I want you to tell me if you… have a problem or anything. I don’t want you to push me away whenever you get confused.”

That’s fair. “Same goes for you,” I decide to avoid having to go through something like this again. But will I actually have to talk to him every time I have a problem? What do I even say? I don’t understand why I’m attracted to you because never in my life have I found a guy attractive? Oh, and Scott doesn’t count.

“And I don’t… I’d  _ prefer _ it if you didn’t…” I say and Winston raises an eyebrow. “If you weren’t seeing anyone else.”

He then laughs and he won’t stop grinning. “Yeah, I wouldn’t risk anything after that last stunt you pulled,” he says and I roll my eyes. It wasn’t even-I was just making sure that guy didn’t make him feel uncomfortable or anything. “I’d say that the same goes for you but I think it’s pretty clear that you’re too in love with me to even notice anyone else.”

I can’t help but raise my eyebrows at his words. I scoff. “I’m not in love with you,” I say but he grins and wraps his arms around my neck. He pulls me closer to him and suddenly I can’t think straight. Literally.

“I think you are,” he says and he raises his eyebrows playfully. We’re so close now, moments away from kissing.

“No, I think  _ you’re _ in love with  _ me _ ,” I counter and Winston shrugs.

“What if I am?” My heart drops and I freeze before I realise that he’s kidding. He gets shy and embarrassed whenever he actually means what he says, he’s anything but shy right now. I laugh and I roll my eyes at him.

“You’re not, okay?” I say and then I lean in and kiss him before he can open that pretty mouth of his and make me even more nervous than he already has. He won’t stop smiling though and it’s difficult to keep kissing him.

“You do realise that we’re kind of dating though, right?” he says and he brings a hand up to my cheek. Okay, maybe some of the rules make it sound like we are but we’re not. I wouldn’t even know how to be in a relationship with him.

“You’re stressing me out now,” I say and I’d say that this is the closest I’ll get to following his first rule. 

“Sorry,” he says but he’s still grinning. “Oh. And another rule, you carry me when I want you to.”

I scoff and I quickly pull away. “As if.” He’d be permanently attached to me then, boy doesn’t know how to use his legs. I walk away from him and he giggles and follows me. Seconds later, I feel his hands wrap around me. 

I can’t help but think, could I really love him? Obviously not, right? It’s just a summer fling, you don’t fall in love with a summer fling. Especially not with a guy. Those are the rules. 

But then Winston runs his fingers through my hair and he kisses the back of my neck and I realise that those rules may be harder to follow than I thought.   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you haven't already, make sure to check out the chiego fan fic I wrote for this story :)  
> i hope you enjoed this chapter and ill try to post again as soon as i can. thank you for reading xx


	20. We Fell Apart Right From The Start

**Chapter Twenty**

If it wasn't for Winston, I would be dead. I would be dead because Zach would kill me for showing up late. 

To be honest, I don't understand why we have to come in so early. The wedding is at ten in the morning but Hannah said we have to be at her house at seven. So it's six in the morning and Winston is nudging me awake. 

I mumble something about not wanting to go and he chuckles. "Come on, you just have to get dressed and that's all," Winston tells me. "I even got your suit ready, I'm kind of like your husband now."

All this wedding talk is getting to our heads. "Okay, husband," I say sleepily and Winston laughs at me. 

"Cute. But you do know that you actually have to get up now, right?" he says so I groan and I stretch and after a lot of delay, I finally pull the covers back and I get out of the bed. No, I actually just sit down on the edge to wake myself up a little. 

Winston has set my clothes out on the couch. I'm already dreading having to wear that for a full day. Hopefully, Zach won’t mind if his best man ditches the suit after a few drinks.

Winston kneels behind me on the bed and he puts his hands on my shoulders. Last night he was complaining about not having anything to wear, now I notice that he’s wearing my clothes. Black trousers and a long-sleeved white shirt with a light blue tie. 

“Aren’t you gonna be warm in that?” I ask him and I play a little with his (or my) tie. It’s gonna be really hot today and we’ll be outside all day. 

He shrugs. “Maybe,” he says and he rests his chin on my shoulder. “I’ll just wear it for the ceremony though and then I’ll change.” Of course, he’s got it all planned out already.

"Let me guess, a skirt?" I say and he grins. Damn it, he knows skirts are my weakness. 

"Yep, a skirt," he confirms and he kisses me on the cheek. "Now get dressed. And tomorrow we're going shopping for clothes." I'd argue with him but I don't see the point, I always do whatever he wants to do anyway. Like now, I'm getting dressed because he told me to get a move on. He sits on the bed and he watches me put my shirt on and then tuck it into my trousers. 

I bend forward to pick the tie up from the couch and then I feel his foot lightly poke me in the ass. I whip around and he grins at me. "Get a move on pretty boy," he says and I roll my eyes. He's enjoying just sitting there and watching me. It's kind of… weird. Like I'm not used to it, someone actually finding me attractive. Obviously Chloe found me attractive but it was always about her, she never called me hot or attractive or even pretty like Winston did. I wanted to act like I hated it but I didn't mind being the one receiving the compliments for once. 

I tie my tie loosely around my neck and Winston scoffs. "Come here, remember what Alex said about looking homeless?" Great, one second he's calling me pretty and then the next second I apparently look homeless. I let him fix my tie until he's satisfied though. 

"Do I look less homeless now?" I scoff when he steps back and Winston frowns. 

"Hey, that was a joke," he says softly like he thinks he needs to explain himself. He doesn't but it's fun seeing him like this, thinking he upset me. 

I turn away from him and he immediately takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. "You're very cute, you know that?" he says and he kisses my cheek from behind. 

"Cute?" I try not to grin. Cute? Can't say anybody ever found me cute before. 

Winston sighs and he rests his chin on my shoulder. "Erm… Hot?"

"Hot with a question mark?" I tease him and he laughs nervously.

"I'm really just making it worse for myself aren't I?" he asks and I nod which makes him roll his eyes. "Fine. You're hot. Happy?"

"So not cute, then?" I ask and he loses the patience to argue with me. 

“Wash your teeth and get a move on,” he says and he pushes me back in the direction of the bathroom. 

“Okay, husband,” I say, which only makes him roll his eyes. 

***

Justin is wearing his pyjamas would you believe it. Everyone else is dressed formally even though Zach and Alex both said that we didn't have to. And Justin is wearing his pyjamas.

"It's fine, I've got it all under control," he says once Alex starts biting his nail and looking around. We're at Hannah's house, the ceremony starts in a few hours and Justin is looking homeless, Alex's greatest fear.

"Everyone relax," Justin says and he sits down on the couch and turns the TV off. No one is relaxed. Zach and Alex are stressing, Bryce is arguing on the phone because some food order got fucked up, Hannah is worried about someone crashing the wedding and Charlie and Diego are whispering in a corner, neither of them looks like they slept a wink. Diego can’t stay for long, he’s got to be back home before his dad wakes up and realises that he left the house.

Winston and I try to help out, he takes Alex away to calm him down and I tell Zach to stop being such a pussy and that everything will go well. Jeff helps when he finally arrives, he promises to make sure that only people on the guest list are allowed past the gate.

Unfortunately, the food order can't be sorted out, there will be less food that intended so Jeff and Bryce get in a car and set out to look for a solution. 

"Everything's going to shit," Zach groans and he holds onto my shoulders like he needs me to keep him together. He digs his nails into the fabric and my flesh and I gently take his hands away from me. 

"First, watch that gorilla grip later on tonight with Alex," I say and Zach raises his eyebrows. "And second, nothing is going to shit. We still have… hours until the wedding. And it won't start until both you and Alex want it to. Those fuckers out there can wait."

Zach nods as he absorbs what I'm trying to say and then he squints. "When did you stop being an asshole?"

I scoff. If this wasn't Zach's wedding… "Would it have hurt to say thank you?" I was never an asshole… was I? Maybe. Can they just give me a break? 

Zach chuckles. "Fine, thank you. But there's still so much to do-"

"Man, just go to sleep. I've got it from here," I say and I put my hand on his shoulder. Actually I just don't want him around to keep stressing everyone out. 

Zach agrees and he starts walking to the door. He stops. "I'm really glad you're my best man."

I try my best not to grin like an idiot, Zach doesn't need to know how much I appreciate it. "Yeah. Who else would you have picked? Justin?" Justin is a complete mess even now and Zach laughs. 

"Yeah. Right," he says and then he walks out to head for one of the guest bedrooms. 

"Like I said," I hear a voice say from behind me and then arms wrap around my back from behind. "You're cute." I turn my head slightly and I smile at Winston who is grinning wildly. Okay, maybe I'm a little cute. 

"Where's Alex?" I ask him. The last thing we need today is to lose one of the grooms. 

"Sent him to bed," Winston tells me and he kisses my chin. His nose bumps against mine and he breaks out in a giggle. "Said he'd need a lot of energy to take the pounding Zach is gonna give him later tonight." Of course he's thinking about sex. He kisses my shoulder and then he smiles innocently. 

"Okay, what?" I ask him because I can clearly see that he wants something. He raises one eyebrow suggestively and then his hair brushes past my jaw. 

"Can I be on top tonight?" he asks and places another kiss on my shoulder. Him on top?

"Hmm…" I say and he clings on tighter. 

"Pretty please?" he says but I don't get to finish my conversation with him. Hannah comes back to tell us that Scott will be coming with the cake soon and they'll need help getting it out of the car. 

"We're continuing this conversation later!" Winston shouts as I walk away from him. While I wait outside, Hannah goes inside because she has a job for the rest of the guys. Bryce and Jeff come back before Scott does. 

"So, good news is we've sorted out our food problem," Jeff says as Bryce opens the trunk of his car. He takes out a bunch of plastic bags. Frozen food and KFC? I'm not gonna comment on that. 

"What's the bad news?" I ask as Bryce goes inside with the bags, he looks pissed. Jeff glances at him and then he takes a step towards me. 

"We heard some guys talk in town," he says quietly. "They…"

"Are against the wedding?" I finish for him when he doesn't. We knew that this would happen, this is exactly why I was worried. 

"Putting it lightly, yeah," Jeff says and he crosses his arms over his chest. "Look, I don't want this whole thing to get ruined 'cos of some assholes."

"Me neither."

"And I know I said that I'd make sure only people from the guest list would be here…"

"Yeah, difficult to do. Got it," I say. We're just a bunch of teenagers trying to play adults and plan a wedding. The only adults who are helping are Hannah's parents and Zach's parents. 

"Do you think we should tell them?" Jeff asks me. Warn Zach and Alex that their wedding might turn into a shit show if privileged white men feel like their masculinity in this town is being threatened? 

I shake my head. They're already freaking out about nothing, they don't need to know that we might have actual problems. "Let's just… Help with the cake," I say because thank God I see a car, Scott's dad's car driving up the path. Jeff turns and he looks like he disagrees with me but he decides to let it go for now. 

We wait for the car to park next to Bryce's rental. It's Scott and William in the car. William? He's not even invited. 

"Really heavy, took us all day and night to finish it so be careful with it," William says and Jeff and I just stare at him. Remember what I said about Jeff hating the shit out of William? 

Scott is grinning when he gets out and he opens the back seat doors where the cake is. "We'll need at least four pe-"

"Your invite didn't get lost in the mail buddy, you just didn't get one," Jeff says and his eyes bore into William. William glances at Scott because of course the pussy can't even defend himself. Jeff is right, but right now it's two versus two until someone gets out of that house.

"He helped with the cake," Scott says like that somehow makes William worthy of being here. It doesn't. 

"Still not invited," Jeff says and he glances at me. Right, I should probably back him up. 

"Yeah. What he said,” I say and Jeff blinks at me like he can’t believe how much of an idiot I am. I’m sorry but I can’t really think properly. 

What the hell is Scott doing? Doesn’t he know that Justin’s been talking about him nonstop and waiting for him to arrive? And then he comes with  _ William _ out of all people? I want to glare at him but he won’t look me in the eye. 

"Guys-" Scott begins to argue with us but William cuts him off.

"It's fine, I have a lot of work to do anyway," he says and he starts walking back to the car. And we’ve gotten rid of William. Or not, nothing is ever easy around here.

"Well if he's going then I'm not staying either," Scott says and I just want to strangle him right there. What is he doing sticking up for that son of a bitch?

"Why are you acting like a dickhead?" I ask him but before I can even confront Scott about his shitty attitude returning, Zach comes out of the house. 

"What are you guys doing?" Zach asks and I can see that he's only just woken up as he tries to sort his hair out. 

"Leaving," Scott says and Jeff sighs and rolls his eyes at me. 

Zach is unsure what's going on, he looks at each of us in turn and he licks his lips. "You don't have to go. It's my wedding and I want you guys here," he says and then his eyes rest on William and William blushes. He knows that the sentence doesn't apply to him but Zach is too nice to say it directly.

"Let's just get the fucking cake," I groan after half a minute of awkward silence. The five of us have no problem picking the cake up even though it's heavy. 

I contemplate kind of 'accidentally' tripping and shoving the cake into William but I decide that it's not worth it. 

The cake is almost Scott's height so it's difficult to get it through doorways without damaging it. We make it through. Eventually. And the cake stands proudly in Hannah's kitchen ready to be taken outside once everything is ready. 

William decides to stay and he even says that he brought a suit for Justin because Scott said something about him needing a suit.

“Wow… thanks…” Justin says unenthusiastically and he takes the garment bag from William. 

“How gracious,” I say and Jeff snickers but we know we’ll have to tone it down, for Zach and Alex.

***

I try to be patient with Scotty, I really do. But he's making it difficult for me when I see him standing over by the table, chewing on a sandwich and laughing at something William said. 

I hate how close they stand together, how William occasionally touches Scott's elbow and how they stop talking and just stare and grin at each other.

"I'm gonna puke," Jeff says and in return, he receives a hard nudge from Hannah. 

There's half an hour left until the wedding starts. Some guests (mostly Zach's and Alex's family) are already sitting outside on the chairs. Most of us are inside, watching everything from the big window in the living room. Alex, Justin, Charlie and Bryce are in the kitchen though. Alex said he needed some time away from the chaos so Bryce and Charlie took him away. Justin went too after watching Scott basically eye-fuck William for five minutes straight. I really hope Scott is high or something because there's no other reason for why he should be anyone near that guy. 

Winston has his camera around his neck, he offered to take pictures for Zach and Alex. He's staring through the window now, his eyes fixated on his older brother. 

"I hate them together," he mutters and he covers his face with his hands. I hum in agreement. Everyone else heard him too.

"Any idea what's going on between them?" Jeff asks and Winston shakes his head. Only Zach doesn't seem to be bothered about Scott and William. He's probably got other things on his mind. 

Hannah goes outside a short while after to greet some more guests and Jeff follows her, he's keeping his promise to make sure that no bastard crashes this thing. I really hope it goes smoothly and without interruption.

Then I'm too busy staring outside to notice that a new person has entered the room. 

"Wow, you all seem pretty calm considering William and Scott are out there flirting."

"Diego!" The voice comes from the kitchen and seconds later Charlie comes out and tackles his boyfriend to the ground. Poor Diego. 

Diego just laughs at him and they hug each other for a very long second. To be honest I didn't think he'd make it. I was sure that his father would make some excuse to keep him away but here he is. He had to leave shortly after the cake arrived but now he’s back and Charlie is acting like he hasn’t seen him in weeks.

"Finally," I groan but I'm grinning and Diego's grinning back at me while Charlie is still clinging onto him like a monkey. 

"Glad to have you back," Zach joins in. It really is nice having all of us here, we won't have much of that after college. 

We don't get to enjoy the peace for long though. "Erm. Guys? Not to alarm anyone but Alex is freaking out. Like real bad. What do I do? Should I get him something to drink?" Justin pokes his head through the door and he stares at each one of us. We're too shocked at his stupidity to even answer. 

I hear heavy breathing like someone having a panic attack coming from the room and Winston quickly stands up before Zach even gets the chance. "I've got it," he tells us and he joins Justin and Bryce in the kitchen. 

With ten minutes left until the start of the ceremony, I'm pretty sure I see everyone sitting in their seats, even Estela and Tony are here. 

I give them a small wave as I walk past, Zach wanted us to get outside already and he needed his best man. 

Charlie joins us shortly after and it's weird standing there while everyone stares at you and then to make things worse, Winston comes out with his camera and starts taking pictures. This is supposed to be Zach's wedding but the camera is pointed at me almost the whole time. 

Alex’s brother joins us and he starts talking to Charlie so Zach turns to me and I still have to keep telling him to breathe every few seconds.

"How do I look?" Zach asks me nervously the minute that Clay Jensen starts playing that awful Ed Sheeran song on the piano. You won't see me playing Ed Sheeran at my wedding if I ever get married. 

"You look fine," I tell him and I roll my eyes. He still won't stop messing about with his tie. "For fuck's sake," I groan and I slap his hands away. "You look perfect, okay? Now turn your ass around."

Surprisingly he listens to me and Charlie smiles at me reassuringly. I look back at the guests and it's too weird so I look for the guys. They're all sitting in the back row. Scott and William are sitting together and there's a one-seat gap and then Bryce, Jeff, Hannah, Diego and Justin. Justin looks like he's going to be sick any moment now but he's trying his best to smile. He’s wearing the suit he got from William and I know he hates it.

Alex eventually comes out and he's shaky and sickly pale but his parents smile at him from the front row and then Justin squeezes his hand when he walks past and he seems to be doing okay. 

Winston takes pictures all throughout the ceremony. It's short but sweet. There's no need for a priest or whatever since they're already married but Alex's brother is there and he's the one who 'pronounces them married' even though they already are. 

Alex meant what he said about not kissing Zach in front of his parents, he lets Zach kiss him for a split second and then he pulls away. It's weird seeing them kiss, something I'm not used to but I'm not against it either. 

People crowd around Zach and Alex the minute they step away and say that the actual partying can start now. Charlie and I escape the first chance we get to join the rest of our friends. Winston is talking to Estela and I stand close to them but I don't interrupt their conversation, I've got something else I need to take care of first. 

"You okay?" I ask Justin who's trying so hard to laugh and to smile and to tease Charlie but he doesn't even sound like himself. 

Scott and William aren't around anymore, I think they went insides to get plates or something like Hannah asked. 

Justin shrugs. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Even Jeff starts to catch on that something is going on and he glances in our direction.

"Sorry about Scott," I say and Justin snorts. "I'll try to knock some sense into him, make him see that-"

"It's fine," Justin says, shrugging again but he looks sad now and his shoulders are slumped. "It was just a fling, right? We're just friends." And with that, he walks past me and heads for the section with the chairs and tables to pour himself a drink. 

"What's going on?" Winston asks when he joins my side and we stare after Justin together. 

"You're gonna be an only child soon," I say and Winston chuckles quietly. It’s true, I’m gonna kill William and Scott along with him. We thought some privileged white men were going to ruin the wedding but it was our own friend who did. I can't even look at Scott anymore. 

"If it helps, I don't think William is gay," Winston says and his hand finds mine. All our friends are sitting down to eat now and we're still standing there. 

"No, but he's a motherfucker," I say and Winston agrees. What's he doing messing with Scott again? I'm going to have a talk with Scott the minute I see him alone. 

"Hey," Winston says softly and he squeezes my hand. "We should eat, right? Let's sit down before the tables are full." It's just a distraction to get me to stop thinking about punching William's brains out but it works, I let Winston drag me over to the table where Charlie and Diego are sitting. Zach and Alex are there too but they're switching back and forth between this table and the one close to their families. 

I eat and I talk and I laugh and I make fun of Alex but all the time I'm keeping my eye on Justin. He's drinking one thing after another and I wanna make sure that he doesn't take anything stronger than alcohol. 

I think Winston is doing the same, he observes Justin for a brief second and then glances back at me. "Should I… Do you want me to call him over?"

Sitting with us should be better for him than standing over there and drinking alone. So I nod and Winston stands up and goes over to keep Justin company. 

We all know what's going on and we keep looking around the table awkwardly until Diego finally decides to address it. "I love Scott but... "

"Poor Justin," Charlie breaths out and he taps his fork on the edge of the plate. Poor Justin indeed. Scott and William must be fucking kidding, they're not even trying to be discreet and they don't give a shit about how this affects Justin. 

After a few minutes, Winston drags Justin over to our table and we have to keep smiling and pretending that everything is alright because that’s what Justin’s doing.

***

I think we've managed to distract Justin pretty well. He's dancing with Zach's grandma right now and he's so drunk that it's the grandma who's stopping them from falling to the ground. 

I'm waiting for William to finally leave Scott's side. They've been sat on a table by themselves, laughing and throwing grapes at each other. It's dark now and Scott hasn't spoken to any of us all night. I'm really starting to hate him. 

"Come on, relax," Winston says and he squeezes my knee. It's just us and Jeff and Hannah sitting at the table now. Zach and Alex left a while ago but no one minds it. 

I think I’ve had just one or two drinks. One and a half actually because Winston finished my second one after I said I didn’t want it. Nothing against alcohol, I’m just not in the mood to drink.

Charlie and Diego danced for a while and then they went home too, Diego said he doesn't have much time before his dad wants him to be back home. 

I've danced with Winston once, we just jumped around and I twirled him around and I picked him up and that was the highlight of my night. I also danced with Jeff, Hannah and once with Charlie (actually I kinda just stole him away from Diego for a second). I haven't really been able to relax, Jeff and I keep looking around making sure that everything is fine and there's no trouble. 

Winston is looking down, playing with the hem of his skirt. He's changed his clothes now only wearing a white shirt and a skirt. Luckily no one is giving him shit for it. 

"You look nice," I tell him and he turns and smiles at me. I know this isn't what he imagined, me freaking out the whole time and being pissed off at Scott and worried about Justin. 

"Thanks," he mumbles and then he turns away again. Jeff locks eyes with me for a second. 

"Wanna dance?" Jeff says to Hannah and of course she says yes so then it's just me and Winn. If I’m holding auditions for a Scott replacement then Jeff is definitely getting the part.

"I'm sorry," I then say and I sigh. "I know this isn't what you imagined today to look like."

He shrugs and smiles at me. "It's okay. I know you're just annoyed about Scott and William." Yeah that's true but it shouldn’t be affecting me and Winston

"Let me make it up to you," I say and I stand up. We came here to have fun and I'm not letting William ruin all of that. I hold my hand out to him and he grins. 

"You know I can't dance," he says but he takes my hand. 

"We practised for long enough," I say and then I pull him up to his feet. The second that we're on the dance floor, I look up at Tony and he grins. He and Estela are in control of the music and they play 'Scared To Live'. It’ll do.

I put both my hands on his waist and he places his on my shoulders. I bring him closer and he smiles. “Not worried about people watching us?” he asks and I shake my head.

“I hope they watch,” I say and I press his chest against mine. “They should know that you’re off-limits, right?”

Winston laughs and he raises one eyebrow as we sway to the music. “Am I gonna be allowed to have any friends when we start dating?”

“Of course not!” I say and I can’t stop grinning at him. “Just me. Oh and regular phone checks too, don’t want you texting anyone who isn’t me.”

Winston laughs again and he shakes his head. “I’m not allowed out without supervision either, huh?” he asks and I confirm which only makes him grin more. “You’re so stupid sometimes.” He kisses my cheek then and he rests his head on my shoulder. I look around to see if anyone’s watching but they’re not. 

I squeeze his hip and then I kiss his shoulder which makes him sigh softly. He looks up at me and he’s grinning now. “Remember what we talked about earlier?” 

I roll my eyes, of course I remember but I don’t wanna give in easily, he’s used to getting what he wants. “The answer’s still no,” I say and he pouts. But I quite like the sound of him on top of me and being in control, it’d be nice to see what he likes.

Winston starts to pull away and he grins at me and looks around. “Okay… I bet Clay wouldn’t mind me riding him. Maybe I-”

“Come back here,” I say and I pull him back by his arm. As if Clay would even know how to fuck him properly. He grins and then tilts his head to the side. “Fine,” I give in and sigh. 

We get back to ‘dancing’ which is actually just Winston laying his head on my shoulder and me holding him like the world is about to end. 

“Remember what I said about you looking nice?” I whisper into his hair and I kiss his temple.

“Mhm.”

“I lied,” I say and Winston frowns at me. “You look… amazing. Hot, cute, pretty and everything in between.” He blushes and hides his face in my shoulder. He mumbles something that I could have at least been original and not reused his compliments but I know that he’s just messing with me.  Unfortunately, we don’t get to continue our conversation because the worst happens.

“And you know what? You can keep your fancy fucking suit too!” Everyone is staring at Justin and I psychically can’t move. Justin is stood over by Scott’s and William’s table and he’s shouting at both of them. He takes his blazer off, the one that  William let him borrow, and he throws it in William’s face.

“Monty-” Winston clings onto my elbow and the minute that I start walking towards them, he follows.

“Not here,” I hear Scott say and he’s red in the face as he looks around and spots all the people staring at him.

Justin’s eyes shift to Scott and I’m standing by his side now, trying to pull him away but he pushes my hands away. “Why did you bring him here?” Justin asks quietly and his voice breaks. “Why would you…”

I was trying the method of grabbing Justin and pulling him away but it’s Winston who gets through to him. He puts his hands on Justin’s shoulders and slowly starts to pull him back, whispering in his ear and telling him that it’s not worth it.

William and Scott stare at Justin but neither of them will look at me. I don’t even have anything to say to them. So when Winston takes Justin away, I start to follow them and I make eye contact with Jeff for a second. He looks furious.

And then I’ve got another job to do because while Winston is taking care of Justin, I have to stand in between Jeff and William.

“I knew he’d fuck everything up!” Jeff shouts and he tries to shove me out of the way. Scott can’t handle it anymore, he mutters something and then he stands up and leaves in the opposite direction to Justin.

“Jeff don’t,” I say quietly and I push him back. “You’re making a scene.” Everyone is staring and I know that we’ve fucked up Zach’s wedding but I’m trying to be the best man and fix it in any way I can.

Jeff calms down but as we start walking away to join Justin, William calls after us. “And I want my fucking suit back!”

Jeff immediately whips around. “After I wipe my ass with it!” And that’s how we completely ruined the wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed it and sorry for the long wait  
> i have a new chiego fan fic coming soon so just watch out for that :)  
> thanks for reading


	21. Friends, Best Friends and Boyfriends

**Chapter Twenty-One**

"Okay I have a theory," Jeff says for the billionth time. "Maybe he's just… blackmailing Scott and Scott has no choice but to… pretend to be his friend?" 

We're walking. We have been for like an hour now and we don't know where we're going, we're just walking through some empty field. 

"I liked the alien abduction theory better," Justin says and he chuckles quietly. It took us a lot of time to finally calm him down and get him to listen to us. He broke down at some point and cried into Winston for a few minutes while Jeff patted his back and we all tried to comfort him. But he's smiling now so that's progress. 

It’s weird with Winston and Justin walking in the middle and Jeff and me by the sides. No one really knows what to say or do. Jeff is basically trying to distract him the best he can and Winston and I are there for moral support I guess.

"I just. I feel like nobody ever wants me?" Justin says quietly out of nowhere and he keeps his head down and stares at his shoes as he continues to walk. And so it starts again.

"Of course people want you!” Winston says quickly. He glances at me and puts an arm around Justin’s shoulder. “ _ We _ want you, we're your friends and we love you."

Winston’s been here for three weeks and apparently, he loves Justin. Okay. I wouldn't say that I love Justin, he's annoying and stupid and gets on my nerves most of the time but… I kind of do love him. 

Justin looks up and he tries to laugh but his eyes are glassy. “You do?” And he’s looking at me and then Winston is staring at me, Jeff too.

“Most of the time,” I say and Justin laughs. I wasn’t expecting him to be so dramatic about this, he walks past Winston and wraps his arms around me tightly. I can’t even breath with his arms squeezing me so hard. I’m not the cuddly kind if you haven’t noticed so it’s torture having to hug him back, pat his back and tell him that I do actually love him.

“Okay, get off now,” I say and Justin reluctantly gets away from me but we don’t resume walking. He just sits down on the grass and sighs. “I’d like to get home before it gets really dark,” I say and I look around nervously. The sun is setting and it’s starting to get dark, we don’t have time to be sitting around. 

I’d like to make a joke of this before Justin starts crying again. But when he looks up, he’s grinning at me. “Sorry, my legs just kinda hurt,” he explains and Winston immediately looks at me. Yeah, as if I’m gonna carry Justin. No way, he has legs.

“Um… where exactly are we walking to?” Jeff asks the important question and we look around at one another. We all know that my house is basically the answer especially on nights out like this. 

I groan and then Winston puts one hand on my shoulder like that’s somehow gonna help. “Fine, but you’re not sleeping in my bed,” I say to Justin and he frowns.

“Why not?” He pouts at me and he’d actually look cute if he wasn’t Justin. Winston and Jeff are patiently waiting for us to finish our argument.

“Because you always touch me up,” I say and Justin grins before standing up again. I hope that was enough to distract him from thinking about Scott. I feel somewhat responsible for Scott like I should have tried harder to make him stay away from William or something. But he’s a grown guy, he should know what he’s doing.

So we walk on, Winston hanging onto me but he won’t ask to be carried. It’s okay, I carry him anyway and then Jeff and Justin stumble along and talk in between themselves about drugs I’m pretty sure. Fuck, I need to make sure I hide the molly somewhere that Justin can’t find it. The dude is like a sniffer dog for drugs.

Winston is piggyback riding on my back and I can feel that he’s already falling asleep. He better not fall asleep on me so I pretend to trip and he wakes up from the shock. Oops.

"Hmm?" he asks sleepily and I kinda feel bad but not really. 

"Nothing. But we're almost there," I say and we are. Justin can barely walk and it looks like Jeff is the only one who isn't worn out yet. 

The gate is open and I see Tony's car in the driveway. Oh, so he drove Estela home. Good to know. I can't see him anywhere though but I silently thank him that we don't have to climb over the gate. 

"I call dibs on the bed," Justin says sleepily and I raise one eyebrow at him. As if I'm letting him anywhere near my bed. I unlock the door of the barn for us to go in after setting Winston down on the ground and Justin goes in first. 

"That boy is gonna be the death of us," Jeff says with a shake of his head and he yawns which makes me yawn too. We all go inside and we're not really sure where to go from there. We're all exhausted and we just want to sleep but Jeff wants to shower and Winston wants to shower so it's like all on me to decide. 

"Let Winston go first and you can go after we sort your bed out," I tell Jeff and Winston is happy to go to the bathroom and leave us to it after stealing some of my clothes. 

Justin has already passed out on my bed and as much as I want to hate him for it, I can't be mad at him today. It's impossible.

The couch ends up being Jeff's bed and we dump some pillows and a blanket on it to make it comfortable. Jeff passes out on it in a matter of seconds completely forgetting about his need to shower. 

Justin took my bed so I have no choice but to come up with a different place for me and Winn to sleep.

***

"What is this?" I dragged him here straight after he got out of the shower and now he's panic laughing unsure of where I'm taking him. He’s wearing my clothes obviously because the little shit just acts like all my stuff is his too. I’m okay with that.

“Wait, don’t move,” I say and I let go of his hands. I had to help him walk up the stairs and I’ve never seen him look so terrified as he clung onto me. 

He’s never been up here before, no one has really. Well, except for Chloe. I showed her this place once and all she did was worry about spiders and bugs and she wanted to get back downstairs. I never took her here again. 

“If you leave me here-”

“Stop panicking,” I interrupt him as he slowly takes a step forward. He’s gonna walk into one of the pillows soon and knowing him he’ll scream or something. So I take one last look to make sure that everything is perfect and then I step forward and untie my shirt from around his head. I think I should buy a blindfold for the future.

He stares at what’s laid out in front of him. Josiah was very much into watching the stars, even when he grew up, stars were his passion. The upstairs of the barn is what never got fully renovated, we left it pretty much as it was because it was where Josiah loved to hang out.

I kinda modified it now. I’m not gonna drag a whole ass mattress up here but I did manage to bring some blankets and a shit ton of pillows up here. It’s better than sleeping with touchy Justin.

When you lay down on the blankets, you can see the window installed in the room, it’s perfect for watching the stars at night. 

“Erm, do you wanna…?” I ask when Winston doesn’t move a muscle and just stands there. He quickly nods and then he lays down on the blankets. It’s not as comfortable as my bed but it should do for tonight.

I lay down next to him only leaving some space between us and Winston grins at me. He’s smiling so that’s good, right? Then he turns back to staring out of the window. It’s completely dark outside and the stars are little shining dots in the distance but they look amazing. The light in the room isn’t on because there was never a light here to begin with. We’re laying in almost complete darkness and Winston laughs to himself.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to leave you,” Winston says quietly and I can’t tell if he’s being serious or just messing with me. He won’t look away from the stars even though he knows that I’m looking at him. He sighs. “You made my standards way too high, how is anyone meant to live up to this?”

“They’re not. That’s the point,” I say and he laughs at me. Not sure if I’m kidding myself or something, but I want to believe that he’ll stay. Is college really that important? His parents are loaded, they can just give him some cash and he won’t have to go to college. He’ll be able to get a decent job here and…

Who am I kidding? College has probably been his dream since he was five, he’s got that whole city look. He was made for college and exams and the rest of it, he’s not supposed to end up like me.

“So?” Winston says after a brief pause and he raises one eyebrow at me. “Tell me the story.” He doesn’t even have to ask about my life anymore, he already knows that I’m gonna tell him.

“Josiah practically lived up here,” I tell him and I look around. We stare out into the stars then and Winston moves his head so that it’s resting on my shoulder. “He’d fall asleep here and everyone would go searching for him, worried that something had happened to him. He was just laying here watching the stars,” I explain. I wasn’t even born when this happened but I’ve heard the story enough times.

“He wanted to be an astronaut at one point, wanted to be closer to the stars,” I say and both of us chuckle. He was just a kid who didn’t understand how the world worked. “Then I was born. And I grew up and as soon as I was able to walk, Josiah would drag me along up here and he’d spend hours telling me about the stars. I couldn’t even speak and here he was explaining constellations to me…”

I go on and on and on until I feel like he’s there with us, sitting on the side and telling the story himself. Winston just listens patiently, he doesn’t interrupt once. 

I wonder what it’s like for him, listening to me talk about a brother whom I love so much where as he has to put up with William. It should be a crime to even consider comparing William to Josiah.

“Kinda wish you could meet him,” I say and I sigh. It's what I've thought about before, never thought it would bother me this much. 

"Feel like I already have," Winston says softly and he touches my hand lightly and then tilts his head upwards so that his lips brush against my cheek. 

"How do you feel about sleeping here?" I ask him in an attempt to lighten the mood and move the conversation away from my dead brother. It's not exactly a luxury hotel, just pillows and blankets laid out on a wooden floor. Bet he regrets signing up for this. 

"I'm okay with it," Winston says and he finally kisses my cheek. He's sleepy now, we both are and it's clear that we won't be doing anything we've planned today. 

"Okay... " I say quietly and I lay back but I don't close my eyes. The stars are just… I can't close my eyes when they're there for me to look at. 

"Thank you. For this," Winston adds quietly and he puts his head on my chest. He's also looking up and I suddenly remember something. 

"Remember that night when you kissed me?" I ask and Winston smiles also remembering it.

“You mean the night I barely kissed you and you made such a big deal out of it?” Winston teases me and he laughs to himself. “Yep, I remember.”

I try to ignore his teasing and I clear my throat. "Why did you do it?" Never really thought about it but now I wanna know. 

Winston shrugs. "Because I wanted to," he tells me. As easy as that. Because he wanted to. Thinking back to what he was like back then and what he's like now… 

"I think you've gone soft," I say and he turns and glares at me. I laugh at his reaction. He's totally gone soft, completely soft. 

"I think  _ you've _ gone soft," he counters and then he pauses. "We've  _ both _ gone soft." He's right but I won't agree with him. I like to think that I've only gone soft for him and once he leaves, I'll be back to my old self. 

"Night softie," I say and when I close my eyes, Winston punches me in the shoulder except his punches are weak and it only makes me laugh. "Weak softie." I shouldn't tease him because he'll get in a huff again but it's so funny when he pretends to be mad at me. 

And then I realise that I really  _ shouldn't _ have teased him. My eyes are closed but I feel his hands sneaking up to my sides and then the bastard starts tickling me. And the worst part is I'm trying to tell him off and get him to stop but I can't stop laughing.

"Winston! Winston, no," I say in between laughter and he looks so proud of himself the little fucker. My stomach hurts from laughing after a few seconds but he won't stop. 

"Who's the softie now?" he asks me and he raises his eyebrows.

"I'm so fucking mad at you right now," I say but it doesn't even sound serious because I'm laughing. " _ So _ fucking mad."

Winston can't take me seriously and he breaks into a giant grin. "Just answer the question."

"Fine!" I shout. Anything to get him to stop because it's starting to become painful. "I'm the softie, okay? Good enough? Happy? Please stop." He eventually listens to me and stops and I lay there trying to catch my breath. 

"Don't come near me," I say and I push him away when he tries snuggling up to me. He's the softie here and we both know it. He pouts at me trying to look all cute and shit. It's not gonna work on me. 

"We're not friends anymore," I continue and then I lay down on my side so I don't have to face him. Even after tonight's disaster, I'm in a good mood. I usually only have those moods when I'm hanging out with Scott or if I’m drunk but I'm only one of those things right now. 

"As if we were ever friends," Winston says and he wraps his arms around me from behind. I don't stop him. 

I don't understand what he means by that. We  _ are _ friends. I doze off before I can ask the question.

***

Sometimes I'm jealous of Hannah because she lives in a big house with a big orchard and a garden and she's got all the money in the world to do whatever she wants. Other times I'm jealous because she's dating Jeff. 

Of course he went out to get us breakfast as soon as he woke up. The smell was what woke me up and then I nudged Winston awake too. He was almost sleeping on top of me. 

Winston walks up to Jeff, still wearing the clothes that he slept in and he hugs him. "I love you," he whispers and I'm not going to lie, I glare at them for a split second before I realise what I'm doing. 

Justin is still sprawled out on my bed, he's kicked the pillows and the duvet onto the floor and I walk over to throw them onto the couch so they don't get dirty. I actually check if Justin is breathing because he's knocked out cold. 

Pizza for breakfast sounds like a great idea, hopefully, Justin wakes up before it's gone. My 'dining table' actually comes in useful for once. I never really have guests and if the guys come over then we just eat while sitting on the couch or my bed. But Jeff already set out the plates and everything so we just go along with it. 

We eat in silence, not mentioning the wedding or the Scott and Justin thing or William. Jeff gets his phone out at one point and starts texting Hannah.

William's tux lays all around the barn. His trousers are sticking out from under my bed, the shirt and tie hanging on the closet door. It's a crumpled mess and I doubt William will want it back now. At least he has the blazer that Justin threw in his face.

And then someone's knocking and my first thought is William. William is coming by to collect his tux like the dickhead he is. It's ten in the morning so it's not that early, it could be William. 

Winston and Jeff both watch as I walk to the door. I'm surprised to see that it's Scott when I slide the door to the side. I wouldn't have expected him to knock. 

I'm not sure where I stand in this mess. I'm friends with both Scott and Justin so I shouldn't pick sides. But I really really hate William. 

"Yeah?" I ask Scott and he looks past me and stares inside like he wants me to invite him in. I should probably be mad at him for doing all that shit with William. Then why do I feel sorry for him?

"Can I come in?" he asks hoarsely. He doesn't look like he slept much and then he starts tapping his foot on the ground. 

"I don't know," I say truthfully and Scott pauses. We're friends. Best friends actually and he shouldn't have to ask to come in, he should be able to do that without asking. But I don't really wanna talk to him right now, I don't want him to ruin my morning. 

"Is Justin still here?" Scott then asks trying a different tactic. He can obviously see Justin sleeping in my bed just as well as he can see Jeff and Winston staring at us from the tiny kitchen. 

"If you're planning on apologizing to him then yes he is. If not… " Sometimes I feel like they're all idiots, like they need someone to straight up tell them what to do because they're like kids. Maybe I should have made it clear to Scott that shacking up with William isn't a smart thing to do. 

"I just wanna talk to him," Scott mumbles and then he looks down at the ground. " _ And _ apologise." So maybe there's hope for him after all. 

I step to the side and then Justin stirs and groans and stretches and he looks our way. He freezes mid-stretch the second his eyes land on Scott. Awkward. 

"Hey," Scott says. Justin's arms drop by his sides and his mouth hangs open but he doesn't say a word. Nobody says a word for a good few seconds. 

"Scott wants to talk to you," I interrupt because they're both too dumb to say that. I feel like their babysitter, not their friend.

Scott takes a step back and Justin slowly slides off my bed like he's still considering whether he should talk to Scott or not. 

He just woke up and he still looks half asleep when he puts his shoes on and then walks outside to talk to Scott. They can't even look at each other.

The second that the door slides closed, I run over to the window. It's by my bed so I climb onto it and I slightly open it so I can hear better. Scott and Justin stand by the side of the barn but not too close by so I can just make out what they’re saying without them seeing me. It’s just small talk, awkward ‘how are you’s.

“You can’t be-” Jeff says and he sighs. Then he pushes his chair back and he stands up from the dining table. “Move, I wanna listen too.” So he jumps onto the bed and stands next to me and I glare at him because he’s making it difficult for me to listen to Scott and Justin.

“I hated seeing the two of you together, what don’t you understand?” Justin says and he doesn’t sound angry, just sad. Scott is staring at him not saying a word and Justin slowly pushes his hair back. 

"I didn't think  _ this _ would happen!" Scott says in a hushed tone and maybe it's because Scott is my best friend, but I'm on his side. I don't think it's his fault. Justin gets attached to anyone who gives him a sprinkle of attention and Scott never meant to hurt him. Except he knew what he was doing when he wouldn't even look me in the eye all day yesterday.

“You two are so stupid,” Winston comments as both Jeff and I crane our necks to be able to hear better without being spotted. And then Winston also joins us by squeezing in between us. 

“You could have at least… talked to me before,” Justin says and he looks down at his feet. “It wasn’t great sitting around waiting for you all day to just see the two of you together acting like-”

“Acting like what?” Scott says and he sighs. He manages to look Justin in the eye for approximately two seconds before he’s looking away again. “We’re not together, we're just friends,” he then adds quietly and Winston briefly glances at me.

Okay, I kinda thought that maybe they were together even though Winston said that William is straight. But how can Scott be fucking all of this up for some pointless friendship with William?

Justin doesn’t say anything for a few seconds and then his shoulders slump. “You’re in love with him,” he states quietly and he blinks several times. “It’s fine, you don’t have to explain yourself.” Then they both look to the side and I suddenly regret listening in because it’s awkward even for me.

I’m about to shut the window again when Justin clears his throat. “Did you ever… like me?” he asks and Jeff slowly moves away from the window. But I can’t look away.

Scott bites his lip and he tilts his head back before looking back at Justin. “Yes,” he answers quietly and Justin nods slowly.

“So it wasn’t just to get William’s attention then?” Justin continues and Winston starts tugging at my shirt trying to pry me away from the window. This is private but… They’re both my friends. I can’t just ignore this like it won’t affect all of us. 

And then Winston closes the window with a loud bang just as Scott opens his mouth. He doesn’t say anything, he just goes back to the dining table with Jeff. I stay on the bed.

Justin comes back after a minute and fortunately, Jeff and Winston are having a conversation so he doesn’t look like he’s suspecting anything.

I give him a small nod when he walks past and then once he’s with the other two, I leave the barn and go to look for Scott.

He’s slowly making his way to the gate and I have to shout his name twice before he finally turns around. He wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand but I saw the tears and now I see the red eyes.

“Hey,” I say once I finally stop in front of him. “You okay?” And despite the red eyes and everything else that’s currently fucked up, he nods. Just nods, won’t even continue the conversation.

“How did it go?” I ask and Scott scoffs. 

“He hates me,” he says quietly and he even chuckles like he finds it funny, he’s not surprised. From what I saw, Justin looked hurt but I doubt he even has the ability to hate anyone.

“He doesn’t hate you,” I say but it’s clear that Scott isn’t even listening to me. Time to change the approach. “Whatever’s going on between you and William…” I say and Scott looks up at me. “We’re still friends, alright? I mean it. If you need someone to… talk to…”

“Thanks,” Scott says without looking at me. He glances back towards the gate and then he sighs and runs one hand through his hair. “I wasn’t using Justin. If that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I know.” But I did think that. It just didn’t really make sense to me, Scott and Justin? And then yesterday it kind of made sense. But I just have to put my trust in Scotty for now.

“And… I’m just friends with William,” Scott adds. I hate that even after everything, he stills hangs around with the guy. Honestly, I’d knock some sense into him but he’s already upset so I’ll just save that talk for later.

“Just take care of yourself for now, okay?” I say and even though I don’t believe him when he says that he will, I let him walk away.

***

We _ were  _ supposed to go shopping, Winston’s been nagging me all day about it, but we can’t exactly go when both Justin and Jeff are tagging along like dogs. Justin actually got distracted by Champ and spent like an hour just talking to the dog. I think he’s going insane.

It was still kinda awkward after that talk Justin had with Scott but no one mentioned it again. And we didn’t know what to do with ourselves until Charlie texted us to meet up by the pier. The same one where we first took Winston to jump into the water.

“Isn’t your girlfriend like… worried about where you are?” Bryce asks Jeff. I didn’t even know he’d be coming but he’s here. Zach and Alex aren’t around, probably busy with awkward family stuff.

We’re sitting under the tree again, except that Winston’s head is in my lap and he keeps smiling at me. I don’t understand what he wants. Justin is trying to get close to Jeff and I think that the only reason why Jeff isn’t pushing him away is because he feels sorry for him.

Charlie and Diego aren’t okay, you don’t need to know them to know that something is up. They've both been kinda shifty and awkward the whole time we were here. 

“First of all, she has a name,” Jeff says and he sighs defeatedly and just puts his arm around Justin’s shoulder when the clingy bastard puts his head on Jeff’s shoulder. “And second of all, no. Hannah doesn’t need to keep an eye on me all the time because she trusts me.” And Bryce just raises an eyebrow in response, he’s never been the relationship kind of guy. 

I’m surprised that no one’s brought any weed, weed sounds good right about now. You’d think Jeff would have something considering he deals and all but he doesn’t keep it on him because of the fact that Hannah might bust him and other things.

“I need a favour,” Diego then says and it sounds like he’s been waiting to actually say it out loud. “Could I stay with one of you guys for a couple of… days?” Charlie’s sitting and Diego is kind of lying down between his thighs and they look at each other for a couple of seconds.

“I’d offer but…” Jeff says and he sighs. Right, his stepmother kind of already hates him which is why he spends most of his time anywhere but at home. Diego says thanks anyway.

I’m about to offer but Bryce cuts in first. “You can stay over as long as you need to, you know I live alone anyway,” he says and he shrugs like it’s nothing. Even when Diego thanks him, Bryce still says not to mention it. That’s the thing, we may be idiots but we know how to look after one another.

“We’ve all got shit going on sometimes, you can always ask for help,” Justin adds and he puts his hand on Diego’s knee for a couple of seconds before moving back to harass Jeff again.

We don’t need Diego to explain himself but he does anyway telling us that he had a fight with his dad which resulted in Diego telling his father to 'fuck off' to be precise. 

"It'll blow off, just… Give him some time to deal with it," Charlie tells him. He told Diego so many times that he could stay at his house but Diego just shook his head. He doesn't want to depend on Charlie so much.

"How do I even explain it to him? He has some fucking backwards views on everything. Surprised he hasn't mentioned conversion therapy yet," Diego says and he laughs like its funny even though it's not. We have to laugh though, to make sure it doesn't turn awkward.

After a brief pause, I finally gather up the courage to ask. "So are you like… gay?" I always assumed he was just screwing around with Charlie, this is more than just screwing around. 

Diego laughs to himself and he raises an eyebrow. "I don't know… ask my boyfriend." He looks up at Charlie and they grin at each other. I almost choke at the sound of that. Boyfriend? 

"Wow," Justin says and he shakes his head pretending to be mad. "First my best friends get married and then my other best friends start dating without even telling-"

"Dude, I literally just asked him last night," Diego interrupts Justin's ramblings and he has this giant grin on his face that matches Charlie's. I guess that explains why he's not too bothered about his dad. That's one good thing that came from that wedding. 

We end up teasing Charlie and Diego for a few minutes completely forgetting about all the other shit that's currently going on. Until the conversation shifts to Justin and we're all very careful not to name Scott. 

"I don't know what I am," Justin admits lightly and he smiles to himself. "If I like someone then I just like someone and that's that." Justin would date anything that would be willing to pay attention to him. 

"So like… you're bisexual, right? Both guys and girls?" Winston finally joins in. I think he was just enjoying laying there in the sun and letting us talk amongst ourselves. Both guys and girls.

Justin thinks for a second and then he scratches his head. "Like Charlie?"

"Charlie's Diegosexual," Diego buts in and Charlie rolls his eyes but doesn't deny it. 

"How does it feel to be the only straight man here?" Bryce asks Jeff and they both laugh. If that's Bryce's way of saying he's not straight… I respect it. I would say something about how I'm around too, it's not just Jeff who's straight here. But then Winston stirs in my lap and lazily smiles at me. I admit, I'm not as straight as I like to think I am. 

"Who said I was straight?" Jeff says but he's clearly joking, however, I don't miss how Justin pauses and stares at him for a moment. Maybe he's not as broken up over Scott as we thought he was. 

Our conversation about sexualities fortunately ends before the question gets to me.

It's getting dark and we're still talking about bullshit that means nothing to us when Winston's phone vibrates and he sighs before checking it. 

"Oh fuck," he says quietly and he immediately sits up and moves away from me. The conversation stops at once. 

"What?" Justin asks straight away. Winston briefly glances at him and he pauses like he's considering lying. 

"Winston?" I say and then his eyes meet mine and his face falls. 

"Fucking William," he mutters and I don't even know what happened but I can already tell that it can't be good. His eyes are glued on his phones and he scoffs before looking around at all of us. "He needs me to go back to the city with him. Something came up."

"Something?" If it's his ex again… someone needs to send that guy to rehab because it's not Winston's responsibility to look after him. 

"Just family stuff," he tells me and he tries to smile like he's trying to reassure me that it'll all be okay. I'm just worried about him leaving again because we really don't have much time left. Half of the summer is already gone.

We don't get to talk about it properly until we're walking back home. 

"So how long do you think you'll be gone for?" I ask him. It's just us. Jeff offered to take Justin home and I trust him and I also want Justin to finally stop going after us like a lost puppy. 

Winston shrugs and he puts his hands in his pockets. "A few days? Maybe a week." A week? That'll be four weeks gone just like I suspected, half of our summer. 

"Okay," I say calmly. Remembering that I don't really own him and he's got his own shit to deal with is making it easy for me to just act like I don't care. Winston stares at me for a couple of seconds like he expected a totally different reaction. 

"Just deal with all your shit and then come back here. Yeah?" I say and he breaks into a grin. 

"It's like you can't stand to be away from me for even a second," he says and he skips alongside me. I see his good mood is back. "Don't worry, I'll be back as soon as I can be." He nudges my hip with his and I think that's an invitation for me to fuck him goodbye (for now) until he moves away again and laughs. 

"I should probably stay at Scott's tonight though," he says and I sigh at how annoying he's being. He grins to himself because that's what he was hoping for. "You can come tomorrow morning to help me pack. If you want." 

Oh, I will want for sure. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading :)


	22. A Small Slip Up

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

So I visited him. He knew what he was doing when he told me that Scott's parents were out and William was in his bedroom packing up his shit before they leave. Scott is still upstairs sleeping.

I'm on top of him, kissing him as my hand slowly jerks him off. This is the second time I'm jerking him off. The first, I stopped just as he was about to come and then I held him down until he calmed down again. We're going again. And again after. And again until he's practically crying to finish.

I rub the palm of my hand over the head of his cock and his hips twitch lightly. But he's not close yet. I chuckle lightly against his lips and he groans.

"God, you're such a bastard, just let me come already," he mumbles. I'm sure that his brain is all fuzzy from the inability to come. Winston doesn't like it when I play with him. I mean, obviously he does, he just prefers when I let him come endlessly with no rules.

I pull away and frown. His eyes widen when he realises that he just insulted me and he won't be getting what he wants. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he says quickly and he holds me down by my shoulder like he's scared that I'm gonna get up and leave him here like this. 

"I think..." I say and I let go of his cock and run my finger on the inside of his upper thigh. "I think you're using your hands too much baby." He's definitely abusing the freedom I'm giving him. He could lay there and just take it but instead, he wants to hold me down and act like he’s the one in control. That's not happening.

Winston swallows nervously and his eyes widen as I get off him and start walking around the room. "W-what are you gonna do?" he asks when I look around. 

He's bringing a suitcase with him this time, it's standing by the door all packed and ready to go. We still have some time before he needs to start getting ready. 

"I just..." I say and I search the room for anything I could tie him down with. I can't find anything and then I move my leg slightly and my belt jiggles. Both Winston and I stare at it and I start to unbuckle it. I think he gets the idea of where I'm going with this. 

Once I've got the belt out of the loops, I walk back to the bed and Winston sits up to make life easier for me. He doesn't even object because he fucking likes this. He loves it when I play with him. 

So I tie his hands behind his back with my belt and then I lay him down again. He mutters something about his hands feeling uncomfortable so I have to move them and place them above his head. 

"No moving, okay?" I say and I kiss his cheek. He nods obediently. I continue my journey downwards and I kiss his jawline, his neck and then his collarbone. My hand finds his cock along the way and I begin to stroke him again. He whimpers underneath me and I can tell he's trying his best to stay still and not grind against me. I'm surprised he's listening to me for once. 

While my hand is working on his dick, I suck on his neck leaving marks anywhere that I can. I bite into one place especially hard and then I lick over it to soothe the pain. Winston let's out a soft grunt and he doesn't have to tell me that he's close because I can tell. 

I take my hand away and he groans in frustration. I remember the first time that I jerked him off, he was trying so hard to hold on so I wouldn't be able to tell how quickly I could unwind him. But now it just gets easier and easier every time, I could make him come within a few seconds but that's not what I want to do. 

I remind him to be quiet and then I place a kiss just below his ear. I think William is in the living room which isn't that far away from Winn's room now that I think about it. I would rather William not hear me make his brother come his brains out. 

I hover above him and then I grind my body against his cock, one slow grind that has my erection pressing into his cock. Good thing I'm fully clothed or I might have just given up and let us both come. But I know that I can control myself. 

Winston groans when the fabric of my jeans rubs against his painful erection. "You're just being mean now," he says and I chuckle quietly. If he thinks that this is me being mean... He hasn't seen anything yet. 

I press two fingers against his lips and he parts them for me letting my fingers slide into his mouth easily. I think he already knows what I'm planning. 

"Make them wet for me," I say and he moans around my fingers. He sucks and he twirls his tongue around until they're soaked in his spit. I keep them in his mouth for a little longer. I move down his body, kiss his collarbone and then bite into it. Winston groans and I feel his teeth press into my fingers. 

I kiss down his chest and then I stop at his nipples. I've never tried anything here before. Obviously, I've done it with girls and I know what type of reaction that gets from them but is it the same with guys? I twirl my tongue around his hardened nipple and apparently he likes it. He moans against my fingers and luckily they're able to muffle the sound. I move to the other nipple and I do the same. I don't bite even though I really want to.

Then I finally decide to take my fingers out of his mouth. I prod both of the fingers against his hole and then I push them in at the same time. Winn groans and he starts to squirm. 

"It's okay, baby. It's okay," I say quickly and I kiss his lips softly so he knows that I'm here to take care of him, I won't do anything he doesn't like. "You like that?"

He nods quickly and I move my fingers in and out of him. I need to stretch him a little first before I even think about looking for his prostate. I use my other hand to wrap it around his cock and Winston moans helplessly. 

I don't know how much longer he can last but my guess is not long. Then I find his prostate and when my fingers rub against the bundle of nerves, Winston's hips jerk forward. 

"F-fuck. Fuck. Can't take it," he whimpers and his face screws up in pleasure as I pick the pace up and both my hands start working faster. "Monty, I'm fucking serious. I can't take it," he groans and I see that his fists are clenched and trying to grab onto the belt restraining them.

"Sure you can," I say and then I add another finger. "Come on baby, I know you can take it." I pause and he shakes his head. His cock twitches in my hand and I'm impressed that he's still holding on. "Take it like a good boy," I whisper into his ear and I slow down just to give him a moment to breathe. 

He keeps whimpering and then his eyes start to water and there are tears running down from the corners of his eyes. It's cute how hard he's trying for me. 

"Please..."

"Please what?" I ask and then I start all over again, rubbing his cock and abusing his prostate. His mouth opens wide and he chokes on air. He doesn't answer so I start fingering him roughly and gliding my hand up and down his cock. He grinds down on my fingers greedily and then he remembers that he wasn't supposed to move so he stops. 

"Do you want to come? Is that what you want?" I ask him and he nods. Will it be mean for me to not make him come at all? Probably. 

So I do it anyway. I pull my fingers out of him and I take my hand away and Winston whines in protests. "No, you can't do that!" I try to move away from him so that we're not touching in any way but he wraps one leg around my waist and pulls me close. Was it mean for me to stop?

"Monty..." he tries again and I focus on his lips and the way they move whenever he says my name. He sees my face soften. "You make me feel good..." he trails off and he kisses me softly so that our lips just graze past each other. "Please make me feel good."

I give in and figure that it's time to stop being ‘mean’, as he says. I hold his hips down and he slowly releases his grasp on my waist. His eyes don't leave mine and then he offers me an innocent smile but what he's thinking about isn't innocent at all. 

"Do you want to come?" I ask him again only this time softer so he knows that I mean it. But he bites his lip and looks conflicted. 

"I don't know... I'm not sure," he admits and I frown. 

"What do you mean you don't know?" I ask him and I pull away slightly. All he's thought about for the past few minutes is wanting to come and now he's not sure.

His eyes glance at my lips and then back up to my eyes. "Is it what  _ you _ want? Do you want me to come?" I don't know how to respond at all. It's cute how much he wants to please me and be good for me. I lean down again to kiss his cheek and then below his ear. 

"Yes. Fuck, yes. I want you to come, okay?" I say in a hushed tone and I hate how hard I am and how fucking painful it is to not even have him touch me. I'll think about that later, this is all about him. "You can come whenever, I've got you baby."

I start stroking him again only this time I don't start off slow, I just get into it and he whimpers and his legs start to squeeze in like he's trying to get my hand off of him. I push his legs apart and then I lean down to kiss him to get him to shut up before William comes barging in here. 

"Does that feel good?" I ask him and all it takes is for me to twist my wrist, tighten my grip around the tip and then his body jerks violently and he comes.

I keep stroking him as he whines and gasps and lays down on the bed with his eyes closed. I slow down before pulling my hand away and then I focus on Winston. His lips are moving but he's not making any sound and that's when I notice that his hands are still bound. 

I go to untie him and there are marks on his wrists from all his struggling. I trace over them with my thumb and Winn sighs softly. 

Once his hands are untied, he brings them up to his face and he opens his eyes to watch as he moves and flexes his fingers. "Am I in heaven?" he asks me and he watches with a strange expression as his fingers move slowly. "I can't feel anything."

I touch his fingertips with mine by putting our hands together and he smiles. "Can you feel this?" I ask him and then I gently kiss his lips. 

He nods and I slowly move my hand down his and I gently scratch my nails over his palm. "And that?"

He nods again and then I press my lips against his. It takes him a while to finally move and when he does, he notices that I'm still painfully hard. 

"Oh," he says and then he looks back up to meet my eye. "I can take it." As if, he can barely move his fingers nevermind get fucked by me. 

"It's fine, just go shower," I say but he scoffs and slowly sits up.

"I can take it," he repeats and then his hands sneak down to my trousers. He doesn't need to fumble around with a belt, all he does is pull down the zipper and then tugs my trousers and boxers down.

I roll them down further to help him out and he gives me one slow stroke. At least he knows how to work his hands now. 

He lays back down and I move to straddle his shoulders. It's good for both of us. I put my hand on his forehead and gently hold his head down. He's happy to just part his lips and wait. 

I take my cock in my other hand and I slowly drag the head across his bottom lip. I'm already leaking, just from finally being touched and it leaves a wet trail on his lips. 

He slowly opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out to twirl it around the head. 

I press my lips together to stop myself from making any noise. William better not walk in here now. 

I place my hand above his head and then I thrust forward, straight into his mouth. His lips stretch out around the length and he lets out a muffled moan. It's weird how things like this can turn him on. 

I thrust into his mouth a few times, slow thrusts that already get me close to coming. His mouth just feels so right and he makes me feel so good. I'll miss it while he's gone. 

I speed up, leaning over his face as I thrust my hips forward. He tries to match my thrusts by moving his head but gives up when he can't match my pace. 

A few more thrusts and I clutch onto the bedsheets to stop myself from groaning in pleasure. I speed up, his nose makes contact with my lower stomach with every thrust and he tries to smile except he can't because his mouth is preoccupied.

His hands grab onto my hips and I'm coming into his mouth before I know it. I slow down and run my fingers through his hair as he swallows. He closes his eyes and once he's done, I pull out of his mouth and crash next to him on the bed. 

"Did I do good?" he asks me with his eyes still closed. Someone's gonna be sleeping it off on the plane. 

"Really good," I say and he smiles to himself. "Won't stop thinking about it while you're gone." 'It' could be a lot of things.

He turns on his side and watches me as I pull my trousers up and buckle myself up. "You  _ could _ come with me." he offers and he gives me a small encouraging smile. 

Me, Winston and William going back to the city for a 'family thing'? Yeah, sounds great. 

I raise an eyebrow at him but he's still waiting. I can't just say no or he'll manage to convince me to go. "I have to stay here," I say, I sit up and cross my arms behind my head. "This whole Scott and Justin mess… someone needs to sort it out."

Winston reaches for his boxers and trousers. He only puts the boxers on and he lays down next to me. He still needs to shower before he leaves. "You can't be there for both of them at the same time," he says and he stretches and rests his head against mine. "Maybe I could take Justin with me?"

"To the city?" I ask him and he nods. Justin and Winston on a few day trip? I don't like the sound of it. Especially with Justin being all sad and shit.

Winston rolls his eyes at me and moves away. "Don't you trust me?" 

"I don't trust Justin," I say and Winston chuckles. Not when he's heartbroken and he needs someone to give him attention. "Just make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

"I will," he says and he presses his lips against my neck. "And you take care of Scott."

" _ What _ about Scott?" At least William walks in while we're dressed. And of course Scott is his only concern. 

Winston and I look at each other and then back at William. I burst into laughter. "What the fuck is that on top of your head? A man bun? He glares at me. I'm used to always seeing his ratty hair framing his face and now it's gathered at the top and secured with a hair tie. Winston is trying to hold it in but he can't stop the smile from forming on his face. 

"Hope you're not planning on impressing Scott with that," I say and that's what makes William take his hair out of the bun. I love making him insecure. 

"We're leaving in an hour," William then says before storming out of the room and leaving the door wide open. 

Winston bursts into laughter the second William leaves the room. "Yeah, maybe you shouldn't meet my family just yet."

If they're like William, I'm sure I don't wanna meet them either. 

***

Scott woke up just before Winston and William left. He stayed around William while I said bye to clingy Winston. They're supposed to pick Justin up on the way. William wasn't happy to find out that Justin would be joining them which just makes this so much more fun. 

"Let me guess, you had nothing to do with Justin leaving with Winston?" Scott asks me. He said he'll make me breakfast but I knew it was just an excuse to talk to me. I better get something more than burnt toast or I'm leaving. 

"All Winston's idea," I say and I open the door to the back garden. Scott puts a frozen pizza in the oven and then he joins me to sit outside on the deck chairs. It’s warm outside and it's just gonna be noon soon, Scott's parents should be coming back any moment now. 

"So has Justin said anything to you? Or Winston?" Scott asks me casually and he takes a sip from his glass like he's trying to mask how long he’s been waiting to ask that question.

I really don't understand him sometimes, one day he's hell-bent on William and then the next he wants Justin. If he can't make his mind up then both of them will leave him and he'll be left with nothing. 

"Scott," I say and he leans back in his chair and sighs. "If you wanna know what he's thinking about you then you gotta talk to him. It's been like… twenty-four hours since you last saw him?" He looks away and shifts in his chair. I stare at him. " _ Right?" _

He glances at me and then back down at his shoes. "I called him last night."

"Jesus Christ, why would you do that?" I sigh and lean back in my chair. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to hear that he at least talked to him. But late-night calls? I'm already worried about what he's done and said. 

Scott puts his head in his hands and groans. "I don't know… I just missed him." he messes up his hair and then looks at me. It's barely been a day since he last saw him, he's being dramatic. 

"And what happened?" I ask him.

"He said he missed me too," he mumbles quietly and then he stares into the distance. Something's not right. 

"But?"

"But he doesn't want to see me until... " He trails off and he looks at me. I think I see where this is going. "Until I 'get over William'." Scott scoffs and he looks back at his shoes. "I'm not even sure what he's talking about-"

"Scott, stop acting dumb," I interrupt him. We both know he kissed William and we both know he feels something for him. Whatever that is. 

His shoulders slump and he closes his eyes for a second. "He said I'm in love with William. I can't be in love with William. I can't, okay?" It sounds like he's trying to convince himself, not me. I imagine someone actually loving William and I honestly can't see it. 

"What about Justin?" I ask. I'd rather talk about Justin than Scott's love for William. I might be sick if he starts telling me all the things he likes about him. Scott stares at me with clear confusion in his eyes. "How do you feel about Justin?"

It’s a simple question and yet he still shrugs. I raise an eyebrow to encourage him. “We’re fr-”

“If you say that you’re friends I’ll beat the shit out of you,” I say and then he seems to get it. “You don’t… You don’t treat him like a friend.” I add and I’m not sure if I’m still talking about him and Justin or maybe someone else.

Scott tilts his head to the side and slowly nods. “You’re right,” he says. “We’re not friends. But I don’t know how I feel about him. It’s like… I know I want him? But I can’t do it, I can’t  _ tell _ him how I feel.” He pauses for a second and now both of us are looking into the distance not saying a word. 

“And William…” Scott continues. “I-I don’t know man, it’s a mess. I like being around him, I like it when he gives me his attention. But I try so hard around him and with Justin it’s just… easy.”

“You never did like taking the easy way out,” I mutter and Scott and I chuckle quietly. Scott always liked to overcomplicate shit. Always. “But don’t you think the easy option might be… the better option this time?”

I’m all Team Justin just because I hate seeing Justin sad. He mops around and he bothers me and he annoys everyone and I don’t have time or patience for that. That’s the only reason why I think Scott should pick him. Oh and I hate William.

Scott looks down, he scratches his ear and he purses his lips. “Maybe… I just don’t wanna make a decision if I’m not completely sure of it.”

I don’t know what the hell is wrong with this boy, what’s there to choose? Choosing between William and Justin should be easy, Scott needs to open his damn eyes and see that.

“Whatever you think is best.” I’ll play the role of the supportive best friend for a little longer. 

***

**Winston’s POV**

‘Family things’ really aren’t my thing. They’re William’s thing, he’s good at talking to everyone and making sure our grandparents don’t cut us out of the will. Or him at least.

Yesterday was only alright because I could bring Justin along and then they wanted William around, not me. So I walked around the city with Justin, trying to get him to talk to me about Scott except he wouldn’t. Even when we went back to the hotel room and we ordered room service, he still wouldn’t say a word.

Monty said something about making sure he doesn’t drink or take anything, I haven’t seen him take even a sip of alcohol. That must mean something, right?

Someone in the family is getting engaged. A distant cousin or whatever. And as per tradition, the whole family gets together to decide whether they like the guy or not. It’s so fucking ridiculous, brings me back to the medieval times. 

It’s nothing that serious, to be honest, they just treat him like he’s part of the family and ask him a billion question because they want to see if he’d be a good fit for my cousin. Once again, medieval times. 

“So… why do we have to be present?” Justin asks me. Justin and I are sharing a room, he walks around searching for his other sock while I try to make my hair look decent in the short amount of time I have. William is already downstairs, probably scaring the shit out of the new guy. Justin and I are getting ready for breakfast. 

It took me about half a tube of concealer to hide the bite marks on my neck from Monty. It’s better than having William comment on them.

“Intimidation tactic,” I reply. The whole family is staying at this hotel, it belongs to one of my uncles I’m sure. They just wanna show the guy that we’re ‘powerful’ and ‘rich’ and ‘not to be messed with’. They’re all just insecure and want to make themselves feel good by making this guy look like shit.

I haven’t really met him yet, I saw him in the hallway for a brief while. He looked sickly pale, scared shitless and I just gave him a smile because he honestly looked like he needed someone to not treat him like shit even if only for a second.

I know I’m never getting engaged, I could never put Monty through this. Although it would be entertaining to watch him fail every single test and not give a damn while my relatives gossiped about him.

“What are you smiling at?” Justin asks me and he throws a pillow my way. I quickly clear my throat and pretend I have no idea what he’s talking about.

Justin raises an eyebrow at me already figuring it out. He picks up a half-eaten bagel from the bedside table. A leftover from our midnight feast last night. “Let me guess, busy in Montyland?”

“Shut up,” I say already feeling my cheeks turn red. I hate having to admit that I like Monty, I don’t know what it is. It’s like… I don’t want him to know in case it freaks him out. I think he knows pretty well though.

“Someone’s in love,” Justin teases me and he smiles cheekily. My heart momentarily stops and I’m not sure if it’s because of what Justin said or if because I’m already worrying if Monty feels the same.

I don’t know if he’s taking this as seriously as I am, I really want this to work out but it’s harder than I thought to get him to come to the city with me. I don’t care what it takes, I don’t want this summer to end. 

“Shut up and let’s just go downstairs,” I say. I kind of wish Monty had agreed to come with me. We’d have the whole hotel room to ourselves for god knows how long, I could show him the city and it would be nice having him around so I could rant about my family.

Instead, I get Justin. He’s really high maintenance and I wonder if this is what Monty feels like whenever I need his attention which is all the time.

I’m really starting to fucking miss him. I only spoke to him last night, he and Scott seem to be doing alright on their own. But I wish he was here with me, I should have tried harder to convince him.

We go in the elevator and Justin talks the whole way down, just talks about nothing to avoid having to talk about what we both know he needs to talk about. Scott. I still have no idea what this thing is, I just know that Justin in hurt and Scott is hurt and William seems to be in the middle of it as he always is.

“Woah, this is breakfast?” Justin asks and he stops in the doorway. Even I’m taken aback. It’s like what I’d imagine the Queen’s breakfast to look like. 

The food is set out on a long table that stretches from one end of the gigantic dining room to the other one, everything looks so amazing that I suddenly feel hungry. 

The cutlery is set out and there are name tags on every plate. Of course, my seat is next to William’s. Justin has to sit next to my mother which I already know won’t end well because she’ll try to find out every little detail about him. She and dad just flew in this morning, my day is slowly getting worse and worse. All I need is for Monty to sit next to me, hold my hand and make a face at me every time my parents aren’t looking.

Justin's here instead and I'm going to be honest, watching my parents’ horrified expressions as he takes a pancake from a plate with his hand is very satisfying.

"Is he your boyfriend honey?" my mother asks me not even trying to hide the disgust in her voice. William scoffs as he places his napkin in his lap. He won't even look my way. 

"No," I say quickly. Give them five minutes and they'll already be looking for ways to get rid of Justin because he doesn't meet their standards. Wait until they see Monty's table manners. 

My mother nods looking pleased and then my father's eyes widen when Justin wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. I'm trying really hard not to laugh. 

"Embarrassing," William mutters to himself. It's really awkward between him and Justin seeing as their last conversation ended up kind of ruining a wedding. Zach and Alex didn't really seem to care though. 

William keeps glaring and raising his eyebrows at Justin at every chance he gets while Justin just acts like William isn't even here. 

The breakfast would be great if I had earmuffs. Except I had to listen to all my uncles and aunties and even ten-year-old cousins (who are trying way too hard) interrogate the new guy. His name is Adam, an only child who went to Harvard law and wants to be a doctor. Honestly, I feel like I heard this one before about a million times. 

After breakfast, my parents won't let me go back to the hotel room and the one time that I actually want Justin to stick around, he manages to sneak back up to our room so I'm stuck having to go on a walk with my family. 

"What did you think of him?" my mother asks us. I really don't understand how my opinion even matters in this, if she really loves him then why can't she just marry him? Who cares about the family's opinion? I sure as hell won't be asking my ten-year-old cousins for permission to marry. 

I don't say a word during the entire talk as we walk in the park. The path isn't big enough for all of us so I have to walk behind them. They don't seem to even notice me. 

From what I gather, my mother likes him and my father is unsure. William says he likes him and that he even talked to Adam briefly before breakfast. Then immediately both my mother and my father love the guy. I really don't know how he does it. 

We stop a few minutes after because my father says that his legs are aching. Maybe if he took his meds… At least we finally get to sit down and there isn't enough space for me on the bench so I get a whole bench to myself and I don't have to participate in the family reunion.

It's early in the morning so I don't know if Monty will pick up when I call him. I do it anyway after giving it a lot of thought and then I wait. 

"Hey," Monty says in a slightly deeper voice so I'm guessing that I just woke him up. 

"I miss you," I say straight away and Monty chuckles. He always knows I’m clingy so I’m not gonna pretend I’m not. I tuck my knees into my chest and I place my feet on the bench. My parents don't approve but I stay as I am. 

"Well then come back here," Monty says in response and I'm grinning like an idiot before I know it. "My bed feels really empty without you." I wish I was in his bed right now. 

"I'd say the same but I'm fine sleeping with Justin. He keeps the bed warm," I say and then I wait. He's gotta come over here now, there's no other option. He hates Justin being touchy especially if it's with me. 

I hear him sigh over the phone and I impatiently tap my fingers against the bench. "You share a bed?" he asks me in steely voice and I feel a shiver going up my spine. 

We don't share a bed at all. We have beds on the opposite sides of the room actually and the closest Justin has come to touching me was when he put his arm around my shoulder and then asked if that would be okay with Monty. He was just kidding but at least it gave me this idea. 

"Yes," I lie and I wait for Monty to tell me that he's flying over in a minute. William and my parents are getting up from the bench. He better make his mind up before they leave.

"Okay," Monty says then with a sigh. And I frown down at my nails. "Just push him off if he gets too touchy." The one time I actually want him to be jealous, he's pretending not to be. 

"I will," I mumble and I roll my eyes when William tells me to move it because we're going back to the hotel room. "I have to go…"

"Alright. Text me when you can. Bye, " Monty says and I slowly get off the bench and follow William and my parents. 

"Bye. Love you." I say distractedly and then I hang up. 

Oh fuck. What the fuck did I just say? It's all fucking William's fault, he was telling me to get a move on and I didn't even know what I was saying...

I stand frozen in place and I gulp. No, it's normal. Love you, it's just something you say. It doesn't mean anything. 

"Hurry up!" William shouts and I hate him because it's all his fault. I glare at him before jogging to catch up with them. 

Doesn't mean anything. Monty knows that. 

***

"Dude, he's probably shitting himself right now," Justin laughs. He's sitting on his bed and I on my own, we're avoiding another dreadful meal with my family by ordering room service. 

"Not helping." I only told him about the phone call with Monty because I thought he could help, tell me that it was normal and Monty wouldn't be freaking out about it. 

Justin stuffs the sandwich into his mouth and then he says something but I can't understand a word. "I said," he repeats and he swallows. "Did you really tell him that you love him over the phone? And then you hung up?" Justin says and with each second that passes, his smile grows wider. "Man… he's freaking out so bad right now. I just know it."

And now  _ I'm _ starting to freak out. I don't wanna worry Monty and I don't know what to do. "Should I call him?" I ask and I immediately reach for my phone. It would be good to just tell him that I didn't mean it, I just blurted it out like an idiot. 

"Go for it," Justin says and then he stuffs his face full of Chinese noodles. 

So I call and I wait and I wait but I don't get an answer. "Fuck," I mutter. "What now?" Him not answering can't be good. And Justin doesn't give a shit because he's eating and that's all that matters. 

"I'll call Scott instead," I say and then Justin chokes on his food. Serves him right. I hesitate before calling Scott's number and he answers after two rings. 

"Hey is Monty with you?" I ask him and I clear my throat. Justin is watching me and he moves closer to me. 

"Put him on loudspeaker," he mouths and I shake my head. He repeats it this time more aggressively and I can't focus on anything Scott is saying. 

"Hold on, Justin wants me to put you on loudspeaker," I say out loud and Justin's face drops. If he wants to mess with my relationship then I'll mess with his. Funny how I told Monty that I'd look after him. 

Neither Scott nor Justin say a word, I don't actually put him on loudspeaker. 

Scott clears his throat. "No, haven't spoken to Monty since last night. Is everything okay?”

"I don't know," I admit. I don’t wanna freak him out. "I think he's avoiding me."

Scott laughs at me, actually laughs. "He couldn't avoid you even if he wanted to," he tells me and I glance over at Justin and he's asking me about Scott again so I walk over to the window to get away from Justin. 

"Whatever you're worried about," Scott says as I pace up and down the hotel room. "I'm sure it's nothing, just stop worrying."

And when he hangs up on me and I tell myself that he's right, I'm overthinking it and it's nothing. So I stay with Justin and we order more food until both of us are full and Justin's white bedding now looks like a colourful mess from all the different foods he dropped on it. 

"No, never had that," Justin says and he dips his prawn in the chocolate milkshake. I'm not phased at this point. 

Justin is fun to hang out with, he makes me forget about my shitty family and everything else. Except it always has to be ruined by William. 

He was the one that dragged me along to this thing, I bet I could have gotten out of it but he convinced my parents that I should be here too. Love my big brother so much. 

"Are you planning on staying here all day?" He stands in the doorway and looks straight at me. Of course he's not addressing Justin because he's only here to piss _ me  _ off. 

"Yes actually," I say and William sighs loudly. It's not like he can force me to go downstairs.

"Winston, get up," he says and he starts walking towards me. I say nothing, I look back at Justin and ignore William. Justin looks awkward having been caught up in this, at least he has the patience to not say anything.

“Winston,” William says again and he takes a hold of my arm and yanks me up to my feet. It hurts a lot especially my shoulder because he’s got quite a bit of muscle. I try to pull my arm away and he hangs on tight, digging his fingers into my skin.

“Fucking let go of him, what is wrong with you,” Justin says quietly trying to help me out. He looks at me and then back at William. I wish William would listen to him but he doesn’t, he drags me along with him towards the door and I keep struggling the whole way.

“William, let go of me! Stop. Stop! You’re hurting me!” I eventually manage to get away from him and I stagger backwards. He sighs loudly like I’m just being annoying, he doesn’t understand that it fucking hurts, he’s treating me like a dog or even his property.

“I fucking hate you!” I shout at him and I push him away from me. Justin is staring at us wishing he was anywhere but here. William pushes me back and I hit my head against the half-open door, I rub over the spot for a second before storming out of the room. 

William shouts after me, tells me to stop being a baby but I don’t listen. I’ve had enough of him.   
  



	23. Other Options

**Winston’s POV**

I took the elevator to the roof of the hotel and then I just sat there with my head in my hands. My arm hurt, it was already bruised and I was so mad that I couldn’t even think about crying.

I really hate William. I wish he didn’t fucking exist, my life would be a billion times better. I look up at the sky but it’s way too early to see any stars and the street lights would make it impossible to see them anyway. I bet Monty can see the stars right now. He better be staring at those stars because why else wouldn’t he answer my call?

I’m really starting to get worried. Justin said it would freak Monty out and if it does, I’m prepared to pretend it never happened. I don’t wanna ruin whatever we have with one stupid slip of the tongue. 

I should have tied him up and forced him to go on the plane with me. I’d like to see William try to grab me with Monty around. If I had taken my phone with me, I would have already been on the phone ranting to Monty, telling him to come over here and kick my brother’s ass.

“There you are!” William’s voice brings me back down to reality and I lose focus, no longer being able to fantasize about Monty. I’m sitting on the ground, not even close to the edge of the building and he starts shouting at me.

“What do you think you’re doing? You wanna fall off and die?” he shouts and I nod eagerly. It always pisses him off, says that I’m an attention seeker. He just sighs and mutters something under his breath before coming over to me.

I don’t say a word to him and he stands over me like he’s waiting for one of us to speak. It won’t be me. Slowly, he sits down but he knows not to sit close to me. I face away from him, staring at the buildings around the hotel.

“Are you gonna go downstairs or not?” William asks me and I scoff. That’s the only thing that concerns him, of course it is. “I’ll take that as a no then.” I still don’t say anything and I run my fingertips over the coarse dirty ground. William has something to say about that too. “Stop it, you’re gonna get dirty,” he says as if I’m not already dirty from sitting here for the past fifteen minutes.

“You keep telling me what to do like I’m actually gonna listen,” I say and I move away from him. I tuck my knees into my chest before hugging them and resting my chin on top.

William stares at me for a second and then he sighs. “Yeah… No one ever tells you what to do. You can just do whatever the fuck you like and no one gives a shit,” he says and he chuckles to himself while staring down at the ground. How is it that he always manages to make himself into the victim?

“What are you talking about?” I groan. He’s just being dramatic as always. If there’s anything we have in common, it’s being dramatic. 

“What do you think? You know while you’ve been playing therapist with Justin, I had to sit downstairs and talk with the whole family for hours and hours,” William complains to me like I give a shit. 

That’s his job, he’s a people pleaser. He always did well at all this family stuff while I was helpless at it. He likes our family, I don’t. “Yeah… and?”

William glares at me for a couple of seconds, he doesn’t answer my question. After a couple of seconds of silence, I turn back to staring straight ahead so I don’t have to see his face. William sighs, he rests one hand on his knee and he turns to me again. “Do you know what it’s like to have your whole life planned out for you even before you're born?” he asks and I momentarily glance at him before both of us look away. “To have every second of your life written in stone, the schools you’re going to go to, the things you’re going to like and… and even your whole fucking personality? Of course you  _ don’t _ know what it’s like.”

Even though I’m pissed at him, I feel kind of bad because this is the first time ever that William has opened up to me. In his own, weird, asshole kind of way. It’s no secret that our parents have shaped William into who he is today, I just thought he didn’t mind. 

“Why can’t you just… do what you want?” I suggested with a shrug. It seems simple, it’s not like our parents are mind controlling him, if he wants to do something then he should just do it.

“Easy for you to say,” William scoffs and then he rolls his eyes. “They don’t have a shit about what you do, as long as you seem happy then they couldn’t care less how you live your life. They don’t even care that you’re gay.”

I don’t know what being gay has to do with this, our parents were always supportive and they never treated me different because of it. Is William jealous of that? It’s true that our parents don’t really care what I do, only sometimes they force me into family stuff like this because they think they know what’s best for me. But William has to do this too. I was a ‘surprise’ so maybe I should be glad that they haven’t planned my life out for me.

“But...You do as you like too,” I say and I frown to myself. Why is William acting like his life is a disaster or something, he seems to like it just how it is. “You have your paintings and your-”

“My paintings,” William says to himself and he laughs. “ _ My _ paintings? Please, I just do it because… It’s the only thing I know. It’s the only thing mom and dad taught me. The only thing they care about.”

He goes silent and so do I. I could say sorry but what for? It’s not my fault he’s basically decided to follow every rule mom and dad made for him. It’s not hard to stand up to them.

“You like painting though,” I say. William Williams the artist was like his dream since as long as I can remember. Or maybe it was my parents’, I don’t know, the details get a little fuzzy. But William was always passionate about his art, always hated that I did photography instead of painting.

“Yeah… I used to,” William says and he sighs as he stares into the distance. “And then I had to remake paintings over and over, a thousand times and they still weren’t perfect. Do you know how hard it is to get it perfect? It’s impossible and they don’t care, they want perfection.”

An ambulance is somewhere close by, I can hear the sirens as it gets closer and closer. There are people out there with important jobs, saving lives and being under constant stress. And William is complaining because he doesn’t want to paint anymore.

“Stop complaining,” I sigh and I scoff at him. He looks surprised at my reaction but he doesn’t get to play the victim now after so so  _ so _ many years of making me feel like shit for no reason.

William stares at me and then he looks away. His cheeks turn slightly pink even though it’s not that warm. He slowly stands up and doesn’t even look at me. “Thanks for listening,” he mumbles as he turns away and with his hands in his pockets and his head hung low, he walks away from me.

***

Sue me for exaggerating but as long as it means that Monty is fussing over me, I’m going to milk the shit out fo it. 

“Does it still hurt?” Monty asks me and I say that it does even though there’s nothing left but faint marks of William’s fingers on my arm. I called him as soon as I got back to the hotel room and he answered straight away. Neither of us said a word about our last conversation or that he didn’t pick up the second time I called him. He acted like it didn’t happen so I did too.

“You could come over and… see for yourself?” I say and I lay down on my bed. Justin is in the bathroom, I can hear the water running. He takes really long showers, I think I have a lot of time left undisturbed.

Monty laughs at me. “So this is what it’s about,” he says. I’ve been trying to convince him to come here for the past half an hour that I’ve been on the phone with him. Maybe I shouldn’t have ranted about my relatives to him first, that would scare anyone off.

“Just pack your bags and come here,” I groan and I move around on the bed so I can lay down comfortably. There’s something about hotel rooms and the beds that is really making me think about one thing only. 

“Please? I really miss you,” I say and I’m hoping to get through to him somehow. He doesn’t say anything. “Please? I’m really horny.” That should work. I thought having Monty around would help out, always having him to touch and everything else but knowing that he’s there to do whatever I want, just means that I want him all the damn time. Especially when I’m away from him.

“I’m not gonna come over every time you’re horny, you could just jerk off,” he says with a small laugh and then he clears his throat. It’s getting to him, just the thought of it. I’m getting hard just thinking about  _ him _ getting hard. 

When the summer’s over, he’s gonna have to come with me or I with him, can’t imagine not having him around. “Yeah… but it feels so much better when you do it,” I continue and my trousers start to feel tight in the crotch area. Monty doesn’t reply. “Oh, you know what? Justin is actually in the shower, I’ll just-”

“Yeah, yeah, right,” Monty says not even believing me for a second that I’d go for Justin. I’ve done it before, it was getting too much to handle and Justin was the only one willing to help out. Even though he didn’t. 

I wish he’d keep talking, I don’t know what it is about his voice but he could be reading out his shopping list and I’d still think about him fucking me. I think about quickly jerking off but then the water in the bathroom stops and I’ve lost my chance.

“When are you gonna back?” Monty asks me and I quickly count the days in my head. I’ve only been here for two days so I’d say two more days and I should be getting back home. 

“Thursday? Friday maybe,” I say and Monty groans in reply. Maybe this will change his mind. But it doesn’t. We talk for a minute or two until Monty says that he needs to go now. Go where? That’s all I’m wondering.

“See you on Thursday maybe Friday then,” he says and just before he hangs up, I say his name. “Yeah?”

I sigh, lick my lips and then I grin to myself. “I’m gonna ride you so hard when I get back,” I say dreamily and Monty is speechless for a second.

“Good,” is the only thing he manages to say before hanging up. I’ve been waiting to do this for weeks. I finally have something to look forward to.

As soon as I put my phone down on my chest, I get a pillow thrown at my face. “I’m gonna ride you so hard when I get back,” Justin mimics me and I roll my eyes at him. I didn’t even realise that he was back from the bathroom.

“You’re just jealous,” I say but he just smiles to himself and sits down on his bed to put his socks on.  _ My _ socks. I suddenly start to understand how Monty feels all the time.

“Didn’t Scott let you ride him?” I ask suddenly feeling a teensy bit interested in Justin’s love life. I’d rather think about Scott and Justin together than Scott and-No, I’m not even gonna go there. I’ll never be able to look at William ever again.

Justin shrugs and he puts his other sock on. “He did but… my legs just kinda hurt from all the bouncing up and down,” he explains to me and motions up and down movements with his hand. Okay, that happens but it’s worth it. I sit on my bed and Justin does the same. “Has Monty sucked you off yet?”

I shake my head pretending not to be bothered by it and Justin laughs at me. “Loser,” he says and this time I throw the pillow at him. Which must mean that Scott has sucked him off. Whatever. 

“Monty’s good at everything else so it doesn’t even matter,” I say feeling like I have to stick up for Monty. If he’s not comfortable with it then that’s fine but now that Justin put the idea in my head, I’ll probably be thinking about it all night.

“What does he do?” Justin asks me as he leans back to rest his head on the headboard of his bed. Are we really gonna do this? Why not.

“Like…” I say and I look away from Justin. He’s acting cool about this and I’m used to him always being hyper. Maybe it’s the lack of alcohol in his system. “Has Scott ever made you wait to…”

“To come?” Justin asks me when I don’t finish the sentence. Embarrassing how I can’t even say the word out loud in front of Justin but with Monty I’d do anything. 

I nod and Justin shakes his head after a moment. “Well, actually. He did when I asked him to. But I mostly just do it to him.” I never thought Justin would be the one in control. After the time I blew him I just imagined that he’d like to lay there and let Scott do all the work like he did with me.

“You like him, don’t you?” I ask then just to switch things up a bit. I’ve seen Justin with Bryce, with Jeff and even with Monty though Monty doesn’t seem to notice. Justin isn’t acting the same way about anyone but Scott.

Justin shrugs but his shrug tells me ‘yes’. I don't even know what's going on between them two because Justin won't talk. Maybe he misses him. 

"I know… you're not talking to each other right now, but don't you think he should at least know how you feel?" I try to encourage him. I don't want them to stay apart for too long or they'll get used to it. I'm a good wingman, I'll make sure Justin gets the cock that he deserves.

"He knows," Justin tells me and then he looks away and coughs. "So what happened with Monty? Did he say anything about your 'I love you'?"

I groan to myself and rub my hands up and down my face. "First of all," I say and I sit up properly. "It was 'love you' without the 'I' and second of all, he didn't seem bothered. I… maybe he didn't hear me." I lick my lips and I wait for Justin's response. 

He just smiles to himself and nods. "Whatever you say," he says in that silly voice of his and it pisses me off so I turn the lights off before going back into bed to tell him that I'm done with him for today.

I pull the sheets over my head and I try not to think about what Monty could have been doing while I needed to talk to him. He wasn't with Scott, not with Zach or Alex either and… does he have any other friends? Maybe Bryce. Or Jeff even. I shouldn't be doing this, we're not together and I don't have to monitor him, I trust him. 

I'm thinking about one person specifically. That girl that Monty was with before I came along. I'd ask Justin about her, what it's like between her and Monty but I don't wanna make myself worry even more. 

I can't fall asleep and even Justin who's usually snoring after five minutes is lying awake on top of the duvet. "Why aren't you sleeping?" I ask him sleepily and I turn the lamp on. 

Justin squints at me in the light. "Why aren't you?" And neither of us answers the question because the same thing is keeping both of us up. 

"Hey… can you do me a favour?" Justin then asks and I nod. He sounds serious and I'm kind of liking this new friendship. "Can you like… be my sober coach."

I stare at him and I blink several times. He wants me to make sure he doesn't drink and stuff? I'm not sure if I'm the right person to do that, it's way too much responsibility.

"Wait, no," Justin corrects himself and he laughs. "I mean like… for Scott. Can you make sure I stay away from him? I literally wanna text him like-"

"I get it," I say. He doesn't need to explain himself to me. I bet I'd be the same with Monty if I saw him with someone else. Obviously, I'd be mad at him but he's too hot to ignore.

So Justin and I come to an agreement. He doesn't want to get over Scott but he doesn't wanna obsess over him either, we'll think of something. 

***

**Monty's POV**

You know that feeling when you're counting down to Christmas and each day seems to drag on more and more? That's exactly how I'm feeling about Winston going back. 

It's Thursday and he said he's coming back tomorrow morning. I'm too excited to even sleep, I'll be sleeping over at Scott's because why the fuck not. 

He's not sleeping either, we've dragged his small couch over to the window and our legs are hanging out from the open window while we sit side by side on the couch. 

We spent the whole day with Jeff yesterday. I mean, I did. I was bored and I couldn't think of anyone to hang out with so I just went to the bookshop and Jeff and I stayed there and talked for hours. The free weed was a bonus. 

I'm surprised Justin hadn't tried anything with Jeff, I was sure he would but according to Jeff he behaved like an angel. 

Scott starts shifting around and moving the whole couch with him making me uncomfortable and I push his shoulder and tell him to stop. 

We're sitting in complete darkness and we're trying to make sure that all the smoke goes out the window so it doesn't stink up the whole room. 

"What did Jeff say about-"

"Let me stop you right there pal," I say and I pass the joint to him. We both know what he was going to say and I really don't wanna have to spend another day talking about Justin. 

Scott sighs sadly and then he holds the joint up to his lips. Funny how he hasn't really mentioned William the whole time that they've been gone. It's like Scott only cares about William when he's around. 

Of course I miss Winston so I'm not gonna judge him too much. I try not to show it whereas Winston is more confident just telling me that he misses me. Can't believe I let him convince me into dirty talking him over the phone last night so he could get off. It was weird but at the same time I enjoyed it and I know he did too. 

Scott sighs and once the joint is in my hand, he stares out of the window. "I fucked up, didn't I? With Justin?"

I nod slowly and then I cough from the smoke. Still don't understand what happened and why he did it, all that for William. "What happened at the wedding?" I finally ask him. "What the hell was that?" We’ve been avoiding that topic because I didn’t wanna be too pushy and shit, but I wanna know what’s going on in that head of his.

Scott looks at me and then back out of the window. He shrugs and I nudge him sharply. "Fine... " he groans and he moves away from me so he's not in my reach. I stare at him waiting for him to speak and he hangs his head low. 

"I don't know… we just had fun while making the cake? I… I liked it that we were friends again and when he asked if he could come with me… I'm sorry, I just couldn't say no. I just wanted to be his friend again," he explains and halfway through I pass the joint to him but he doesn't use it. 

"Okay... " I say and I relax into the couch. "But. Why couldn't you hang out with us at the wedding? You didn't have to ignore Justin like that." it would have been a million times better if he had at least spoken to Justin, told him what was up and saved us all the trouble of having to look after Justin. 

Scott finally takes a hit just to avoid having to answer the question. I nudge him with my leg this time and he throws his head back and stares at the ceiling. "He was already staring at me like… like I had fucked up. I didn't wanna talk to him because it just… it was so fucking scary to think about having to explain myself to him-"

"Because you love William," I interrupt and Scott pauses and then he continues pretending not to have heard what I said. 

"William just needed a friend to stay with him. I knew you guys were gonna be mad but… I didn't really care." Once again, because he loves William. 

How can someone love William? Especially after what that fucker did to Winston. I regret not coming with them, it wouldn't have happened if I had been there. I just imagine him ending up alone, with no one in his life. He's gonna lose Winston too, I know he is. How can you want to lose your family? Something is seriously wrong with William. 

We sit in the dark for a couple of minutes, passing the joint back and forth and not saying a word. William's presence hangs in the air. 

"So what's happening between you and Winston? Have you like… asked him to be your boyfriend yet?" Scott asks and he grins at me. I raise an unamused eyebrow at him, what does he care about me and Winston? 

"No, I haven't. We're just f-,'' I say and then I stop myself. Why the fuck do I sound like Scott? Scott stares at me and I stare at him and then I sigh. "We're… not friends?" I say uncertainly and Scott nods like he's trying to encourage me. 

"Good, so what are you?" Scott asks me. 

What are we or what am  _ I? _ After that whole talk we had about sexualities, I couldn't help but think that maybe I was like into both guys and girls. It wouldn't make me gay, just… not straight. That's okay. Maybe. 

Winston and I…we act like we're dating even though we're not. Should we be together? It doesn't make sense to get into a relationship with 4 weeks left of the summer. Especially if I might never see him again. 

"Phones exist," Scott says after a few minutes of silence and overthinking "You could still talk to him and see him." Still won’t be the same. It only works because we see and talk to each other every day, it’s not gonna work out when we’re apart. Why? Because as much as I hate to admit it, Winston needs constant attention and one way or another he’s gonna find someone to give that to him when I’m not around.

“Yeah…” I say and then I clear my throat completely avoiding Scott’s stare. “Still don’t know what we are though, I’ll let you know when I find out.” Scott chuckles quietly at that but it’s enough to have him leave me alone.

Now would be a good time to tell him that Winston may or may not have said that one word that changes anything. But I don’t.

I told Jeff about it, told him every single detail a million times until he had the whole thing memorised word by word. He told me not to read into it too much, maybe it was a slip-up or maybe it was nothing. I’ll just have to wait for him to bring it up again.

“You think they’re having fun there? Justin and Winston?” Scott asks me. Justin hasn’t called or texted him since that late-night phone call they had so I’m his only source of information. He better not be suggesting anything about Winston and Justin.

“Not too much fun I hope,” I say and Scott laughs at me. Maybe he doesn’t know that Justin and Winston did try to fuck once. Doesn’t he remember how touchy they were at the road-trip? 

“I’m sure you’re fine, Winston is head over heels for you,” Scott says and then he sighs before passing the joint back to me. His lips set in a thin line as he thinks of something and then he breaks into a grin.

“What?” I ask him and he laughs to himself and shakes his head.

“Do you remember… Valentine’s Day? When you, like, kissed me?” Scott asks and he suddenly seems nervous. Why is he bringing it up now? He better not try anything, he’s just high.

I nod uncertainly. “Yeah… What about it?”

“That was like… when I knew,” he says slowly as he stares out of the window. Then he glances at me and smiles. 

“Knew what?” I ask him. My hands are sweating nervously and I’m not sure if it’s from the weed or maybe something else.

“That maybe I was into guys,” Scott tells me and then he quickly clears his throat when he realises what he’s telling me. 

“So you went from liking me to liking William? Downgrade,” I joke wanting to lighten the mood. Scott  _ maybe _ used to have a crush on me and that’s kind of weird to think about but it doesn’t change anything. “If it makes you feel better, I think I kinda had a crush on you once too.”

At that, Scott’s eyes widen and then he grins at me. Okay, not weird at all. “Maybe if Winston doesn’t work out for you...” he says but he’s joking. Definitely joking.

“As long as it’s not William you end up with,” I add and then we laugh. We laugh because we’re just joking.

***

Friendship with Bryce has many benefits, he has that rich person privilege that he loves to share with us. There’s supposed to be some new club opening a few towns over, a two-hour drive from our town and Bryce managed to get us access. 

He didn’t have to do much, the owners of the place just wanted young people to know about it so they practically gave access to anyone under the age of thirty. Hopefully, they can let some under eighteens pass too.

“Get yourself a fake ID like me,” Scott brags after I complain that they always fucking ask for ID and it spoils all the fun. Our conversation from last night is long forgotten about, we’re both worried about Winston and Justin coming back. And William. 

“Yeah, yeah,” I say and Scott sits down on the edge of his bed. I managed to fall asleep easily last night but I’m still tired, still laying in Scott’s bed still only wearing shorts and my t-shirt.

I keep checking the time on my phone, keep rereading the text Winston sent me and the one I sent him. He landed like half an hour ago and then he got into the taxi back home. He’s not responding so I’m guessing he fell asleep. Still about four hours left before he gets here.

“Are you planning on laying in bed all day?” Scott asks me and I nod without taking my eyes off the screen. If he’s sleeping it off in the car then something kept him up at night. It better not have been Justin.

Scott just sighs loudly at how I’m completely focused on my phone and then he tries to leave the room. “What happens when William comes back?” I shout after him and he stops with one foot already out of the door. 

Scott may not talk about him, but it’s like there’s a switch in his brain and he completely forgets about everything he knows when he’s around William. He can’t pretend that that’s not gonna happen.

“I don’t know,” he says quietly glancing back at me and then he walks out. He won’t even let me pressure him or present the million reasons why he should be thinking about apologising to Justin and not thinking about William. Hell, I’m about to make a PowerPoint about it.

I eventually get out of bed, taking everything slowly so time will fly quicker and Winston will come back but I’ve still got to wait about three hours. 

We’re eating breakfast by the pool when Jeff texts me. Scott is chewing on his bacon sandwich and my stomach rumbles because I already ate mine.

“Another one Monty?” Scott’s dad asks and he winks at me before sliding the sandwich onto my plate. Wouldn’t mind dating Scott if it meant I’d be part of this family. Nah, already am a part of it.

“Who is it?” Scott asks me when my phone vibrates again. I had already forgotten about Jeff’s text at the sight of the greasy bacon. He’s hoping that it’s from Justin or Winston, I know that look.

“Just Jeff,” I say and then I read the texts.

**_Jeff:_ ** _ Do you still have William’s tux somewhere? _

**_Jeff:_ ** _ And did Bryce invite you to that thing too? _

I don’t know what he’s planning but I reply yes to both and I don’t even have time to put my phone down before Jeff’s texting me again.

**_Jeff:_ ** _ Sweet. I’ll come by to pick the tux later ;) _

He can be so weird sometimes but I love him. He’d definitely be my best friend if we hung out at school, but he preferred hanging out with the weirdos like Clay and all them lot. We’ll have time to bond now that we’re both staying here, not going anywhere like everyone else.

“Anything important?” Scott asks me and I roll my eyes.

“You mean ‘anything about Justin’?” I correct him and he blushes. How is he still unable to choose between him and Wiliam? Is he blind or stupid?

“Nothing important,” I say. Probably just Jeff coming up with new ways to piss William off. Can’t wait to see what he has planned especially after that motherfucker hurt Winston. 

The hours drag on even when we play COD for what seems like hours. I keep glancing at the clock, losing my concentration and letting Scott kill me over and over again. The little fucker keeps rubbing it in my face.

“Loser!” he says and he leans back in the couch after killing me for the billionth time. 

“At least I’m not in love with William,” I snap at him and I throw the controller onto the armchair. “So who’s the real loser?”

Imagine being in love with William, actually loving his greasy long hair and that annoying voice. The only person in love with William is William. 

Scott convinces me to play some more and he lets me kill him a few times just for payback. I actually get caught up in it until I hear the car engine outside.

Scott and I look at each other and we just about manage to pause the game before we’re running to the window. Winston gets out from the back first looking grumpy and sleepy when he pushes the unbrushed hair away from his face.

William looks even more tired and stressed out when he goes over to the trunk to get his suitcase. Scott takes one look at him and then looks away. Justin isn’t with them, they must have dropped him off on the way.

Scott might wanna stay inside but I wanna see Winston. He’s trying to drag his suitcase towards the house and he doesn’t even notice me until he almost walks into me by the steps.

“Oh!” he says and then he drops his suitcase and wraps his arms around my neck. “You’re here, thank God.” He pulls me into a crushing hug and I hug him back. 

We’re still hugging by the time the taxi drives away and William rolls his eyes when he walks past us. He’s really asking for it at this point. Then I notice that he had a haircut, his hair is neatly styled so it looks like the bullying worked. He better not be trying to impress Scott though. I think Scott not coming out to greet him says enough. 

“You okay?” I ask Winston when he finally lets go of me. “You look tired.” I frown and I push some hair away from his forehead so I can look at him properly. 

“Thanks,” he says sarcastically and he rolls his eyes. Now that’s not what I meant.

“No, you look good. Just tired,” I say and he manages a small smile before resting his head on my shoulder. I missed just touching him so I’m fine with all of this. He can be as clingy as he wants to be. 

“Justin wouldn’t stop talking all night and then he was fucking snoring. ” Winston groans and then he pulls away again, takes a step back and looks around. “Where’s Scott?” I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that Justin was talking about Scott all night.

I shrug. “Inside probably.” Winston nods slowly and then he looks back at me. He might look tired but he’s still fucking cute. And I haven’t kissed him in days…

However, as soon as I step forward and put my hands on either side of his face, he takes a step back and grins at me.

“What’s wrong?” I as him. Never seen him try to avoid kissing me before.

He tilts his head to the side and doesn’t stop grinning. “You can wait a little longer, can’t you?” A few days ago he was telling me that he couldn’t wait to ride me and now he doesn’t even want to kiss me. I guess that’s payback for playing with him before he left.

“How long?” I ask and I pull him in by his hips before he can get away. I can play along for a little while as long as he doesn’t get cocky about it. He’s not letting me kiss him but all I can think about are his lips now. I glance at them and then back up to meet his eyes but he doesn’t give in that easily.

“As long as I want,” he says and then he winks at me and gets out of my grasp before running inside and leaving his suitcase on the ground for me to pick up.

He won’t last the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this :)  
> a lot is happening in the next chapter so cant wait for that


	24. Heartbreak Drugs

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

"Perfect," Jeff says and he looks at himself in the mirror, admiring the way William's suit fits him. The trousers may be too big but he cuffed the trousers into the insides of the leg and it's barely noticeable. He looks a bit like a pimp in my opinion.

Winston and I both stare at him, making sure he looks decent and then he tells us that he'll wait outside. He's our ride to the club. He's actually driving Hannah's car but Hannah will be with us so it's all good. I think Scott was planning on going with William but I said that we can pick him up and now he's coming with us. No William worship on my watch. 

Winston is looking through my closet searching for God knows what while I'm trying to make sure that my flannel is clean. I'm wearing black jeans and a dark grey T-shirt underneath the red flannel. I'm gonna cook in this because it's boiling outside. I'll just take the flannel off if it's too warm. My hair is kind of messy, Winston messed it up because he's like that so I just run my fingers through it to make it look more organized.

"You ready?" Winston asks, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and checking how we look next to each other in the mirror. We look so different, from completely different worlds but standing next to each other, it kind of looks right. 

"Yeah, you?" I ask and then I take a chance by tilting my head to the side and trying to kiss him. He immediately steps back. Idiot.

He giggles and raises his eyebrows at me so I turn away from him. He doesn’t seem to care, he just goes to sit on my bed and leaves me alone to sort my hair out. It’s pissing me off how I haven’t kissed him in days and he’s not letting me now, he’s so fucking annoying.

“Justin wants to come with us,” he tells me while looking at his phone. Yeah, Justin seems to be really eager to spend time with Winston now. 

“Tell him we have a full car,” I say and I lick over my lips trying to remember what his lips feel like on mine. If Winston keeps this up then he won’t be going and we’ll take Justin instead, I’ll just leave him here so he can think twice before trying this again.

“I did,” Winston says. “He said he doesn’t mind sitting on someone’s lap.” I roll my eyes and Winston laughs at me. “Stop being so jealous, we’re just friends,” he sighs and then he tells me something about how Justin was keeping him sane but slowly I lose focus on the words that are coming out of his mouth and I focus on his lips instead. 

I’m leaning forward, trying to kiss him again and Winston doesn’t move a muscle. I think he’s going to let me until my nose touches his and he breathes out sharply and steps back.

“Baby…” He gulps at my words and then he quickly forces himself to look away. Like I said, he’s not gonna last long.

“J-Jeff’s waiting outside,” Winston reminds me and he walks out before I can try something again. He’s sitting in the back seat with Hannah when I walk out so I sit in the front seat with Jeff who’s tapping the wheel impatiently.

“So who am I picking up?” he asks me. “Scott or Justin?” 

“Both apparently,” I say and Jeff raises an eyebrow but he doesn’t question it. It’s not like we’ll get pulled over or anything, they rarely care here they just let you off with a warning and tell you not to do it again.

We pick Scott up first and he doesn't suspect a thing because no one tells him that we're picking Justin up too. Maybe someone _should_ tell him but that won’t be me. 

“Wait,” Scott then says when he recognises the way to Justin’s house. “I thought we were going to town.” He starts panicking like he thinks we’re gonna leave him here with Justin. And then he stops and calms down a little when he spots him. Justin is waiting outside his house, sitting on the stone steps of the run-down building and he’s got his head in his hands. 

I don’t get why Justin still stays with his mother and her crackhead boyfriend, we’ve told him so many times that he can stay with one of us if he needs to but he always laughs it off and tells us that it’s all good. It doesn’t look ‘all good’ right now.

“We are,” I tell Scott and then Jeff beeps his horn to tell Justin that we’re here. “After we get Justin.” Justin looks up and I can see that his eyes are red but he’s grinning at us as he walks towards the car. He won’t be grinning for long. I already know he’ll hate me for bringing Scott along, Winston told me about Justin’s plans to ‘stay away’ from Scott. 

Scott is already biting his lip and looking anywhere but at Justin. Then Justin spots him and he freezes with his hand still on the door handle. He glances back towards the house like he’s thinking about his options.

“Just get in,” Jeff shouts to him. Hannah and Winston squeeze together to make some space for Justin and he sits down on the edge of the seat, not looking at any of us. Someone looks pissed. But Scott is sitting on one side and Justin on the other and they’re both staring out of the window. This is gonna be awkward.

Hannah and Winston carry on the conversation in the car to make it less awkward. Jeff focuses on driving but we talk a bit. The only ones who aren’t talking are Scott and Justin. This was supposed to get them back together, not make the rest of us feel awkward.

Justin practically runs out of the car the second it stops and he goes to meet Bryce outside. It’s busy and it’s loud and it’s darker inside than outside. Scott glares at me when he walks by and I don’t understand why everyone always blames me for everything. I’m tired of it.

I take Winn’s hand and I take him inside. The bouncer doesn’t even check our IDs, just asks if we’re over eighteen and Bryce says that we are before shaking the bouncer’s hand so no one can see the banknotes he’s passing to him. 

“That was easy,” Winston says and I can barely hear him over the loud music. It’s already packed with girls wearing skimpy outfits and men not even wearing shirts. There’s drinks being poured and spilled everywhere, lights flashing and people jumping. It’s so chaotic but in a good way.

“Over here!” I look over to where Bryce is sitting in the lounge, we lost him in the chaos of it all. The round glass table is surrounded by the red couch where Bryce and Justin are already sitting and looking at the drink options.

Jeff and Hannah join us shortly after and Winston moves to sit in my lap. There’s enough space for three more Winstons to sit next to me but Winston wants to sit in my lap. Which I hate because I know he’s not gonna let me kiss him. 

Bryce orders us some drinks, all sparkly but they come in different colours and we share them around. I down my glittery drink in one go and I’m looking around wondering where Scott is when I see him talking to William and Luke in a corner. So much for staying away from William.

“Monty.” I turn back to Winston, he tilts my head back and pours his sparkly purple drink down my throat. It’s bittersweet but I like it even if it burns my throat. I know Winston was trying to distract me from Scott and he's doing an alright job at it. 

Three drinks in and my vision starts to get blurry, I'm laughing at Justin trying to drink his drink through his nose and he's completely failing at it. 

"No, man. Don't," Jeff says with his arm around Hannah. I think it pains him to be here and not be able to drink. But Hannah finally gives in, says she’ll drive and Jeff happily orders a drink for himself using his fake ID. 

Justin goes a bit wild with the drinks and no one is stopping him until I say that he might wanna slow down. Bryce orders a water for him and I make sure Justin drinks it all. 

"I don't feel so good," Justin mumbles and he leans forward and puts his head in his hands. Usually Justin knows when to stop, even if he drinks too much he knows when to stop. I have a feeling this has something to do with why he was crying just before we picked him up. 

Winston looks at me and I at him before turning back to Justin. "You wanna go to the bathroom? Get yourself cleaned up?" I ask him and he nods. He needs help standing up. I put my hand on his back to stir him the right way and Winston holds onto his elbow to make sure he doesn't get pushed out of the way by the people dancing. 

Turns out we were right to drag Justin to the bathroom. The one downstairs was too busy, full of people doing coke but we found another one and the minute Justin walked inside, he doubled over and vomited all over the bathroom floor. 

"Oh fuck," I whisper and I try to pick Justin back up but he's coughing and I’m worried he’ll vomit again. "Did you take anything?" 

“Why does everyone think I’m a fucking druggie?” Justin coughs out as vomit dribbles down his chin. Okay maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing to say to him but it’s always my first assumption when something like this happens. 

Winston stares at me but Justin lays on the floor looking gormless, almost sitting in the puddle of his own sick so I drag him closer to the sink by his arm.

"Maybe I should… get someone?" Winston offers and he doesn't look like he knows whether to run or stay. 

"Stay," I say because Justin stays on the floor, he's hugging my legs, pressing his face into my thighs and telling me not to leave. "It's okay," I tell Justin because I’m worried he’ll start crying any minute now and I don’t know how to deal with that.

Someone tries to get into the bathroom but they see the mess going on in here and they walk back out. Good for them. I can’t walk out on Justin.

Winston kneels down in front of Justin and he hugs him tight. I hate this feeling, not knowing what to do or how to help him because I'm used to seeing him pretend that everything is okay. I really wish Charlie was here, he's great at comforting people but he's taking care of his boyfriend and their family problems. It's just us now, I have to do my best to help. 

I peel Justin away from my legs and I grab a paper towel. I run the water, wet it and then I clean Justin's face with the cold wet paper towel. He squirms away and complains but I clean him up while firmly holding his head. 

"Where’s Scott?” Justin asks and I look at Winston. Fortunately for Scott, he hasn’t been hanging out with William like I thought he would be when I first saw him. They talked for about two minutes and then I saw him hanging out with some girls from school and that’s miles better than him being with William

“Justin, focus. Did you take anything?” I ask him again and he shrugs. “You gonna be okay by yourself?” I ask Winston and he nods. Scott. That’s how I need to look for. Or maybe even Jeff, if Justin took something then Jeff is the best person to look for.

I walk out, I can’t see Jeff or Hannah anywhere and Bryce is sitting by himself, playing with a shot glass. I look around for William or Scott and I see Winston’s brother. He’s with a friend of his and they’re stood in a corner talking and laughing.

“Hey, have you seen Scott?” I ask and I cringe because I’m basically asking for William’s help. William just sighs, looking annoyed that I’ve interrupted their conversation.“It’s important. Justin is lying in his own sick on the bathroom floor and I need Scott,” I explain.

I don’t know what’s pissing me off more, the fact that William doesn’t seem to care or that he just shrugs and tries to walk away with his friend. I grab his arm though and his friend walks away leaving William with me.

“What?” William groans and he shrugs me off. “Justin’s a mess, Scott isn’t gonna be able to help him anyway.” I already knew that William was an asshole but I didn’t know that he lacked empathy too. No normal person thinks like he does.

“You’re really starting to piss me off,” I say and I take a step towards him. He might be taller than me but I don’t care, I could snap him in half. He backs away, walking into the wall and his eyes stay on mine. 

“Look, I don’t… I’m not looking for a fight,” William says and he looks around as if looking for someone to help him. If only he had friends that were willing to help him out.

First, he hurt Winston, multiple times actually and now he’s not only messing with my best friend but he doesn’t even have the basic human decency to at least show _some_ concern for Justin. 

"A bit too late for that," I say and William looks down and licks his bottom lip nervously. So now he's nervous? He pisses me off so fucking much. 

"I-I… Weren't you looking for Scott?" William asks and he stands up straighter. Right. Justin. Don't wanna leave him with Winston for too long or they'll both start panicking. 

"If you see him tell him I'm looking for him," I tell William and then just as I'm turning away, William grabs my arm and turns me to face him. 

"You act like you fucking own the place but guess what? You can't fucking control everyone so if Scott wants-"

"Scott _doesn't_ want," I interrupt him and I raise an eyebrow. He can't seriously think that Scott is ever gonna pick him over Justin and he won't be doing it because I'm 'controlling' him. "If you really think that you have a chance with Scott, you need to take a long look in the mirror and rethink that," I say stepping towards William and he stares back at me, gritting his teeth and glaring at me. 

I think I've won, I'm ready to turn back and check up on Justin but then William pushes me back and I'm taken by surprise. William may have skinny arms but his fists… he's got large hands and hard knuckles and the motherfucker swings at me hitting me in the jaw. I honestly feel like it's broken for a split second and I panic. 

William backs up into the wall again and he stares at me and then at his fist. I don't know who looks more shocked, me, William or the group of people staring at us. 

But then a second later, when I'm sure that my jaw is only hurting and nothing serious is wrong with it, I swing at William. I hit him in the cheekbone, my knuckles visibly making contact with his face. Something takes over from there, my fist tightens and my breathing becomes heavy and I swing once again. This time William manages to dodge me but he loses his balance and falls straight into the glass table close to him shattering it completely.

***

Where the fuck is Jeff? Or Hannah even, I've been standing outside for at least fifteen minutes now and I can't see Hannah's car or Jeff anywhere. He wouldn't leave us here just like that. 

I’m not allowed back inside, some guys pulled me away from William and then _I_ got kicked out while they fussed over _William_. He started it, it isn't my fault that he couldn't take it. 

I texted Winston and he said he was going to meet me in two minutes, he doesn't know that I got kicked out. I wait outside and I think of something to say to him because I doubt he's gonna be happy with me. Maybe he doesn't know about William yet so I just won't bring it up, there's no point upsetting him now. 

He comes out of the club with Justin by his side and they're not holding onto each other, Justin looks mostly sober but he looks like he's been crying as he stares down at his shoes. At least Winston managed to take care of him.

"Are you two okay?" I ask them and Winston nods but Justin doesn't reply. He puts his hands in his pockets and bows his head. 

"Are we going home? What are we doing?" Winston asks me and he looks around searching for the car or Jeff because he doesn't understand why I'm waiting outside. 

"Um… yeah," I say and then I pull my phone out and send Jeff a quick text message. "Just waiting for Jeff."

"And Scott," Justin adds quietly and Winston glances at him and then at me. I think Winn and Justin had another conversation in the bathroom when I left them alone. So again, this is about Scott. At least Scott isn't fucking around with William anymore but something's got Justin upset again. So I text Scott too and tell him to meet us outside because we're leaving. 

Winn and Justin kinda go off to the side to stay out of people's way and they talk amongst themselves. Justin keeps shaking his head, looking away and running his hands through his hair so that it stands up making him look like he was electrocuted or something. 

Scott comes out about two minutes after I sent the text to him and he looks at me and raises his eyebrows. "What's up? Why are we leaving so early?" So he hasn't seen or heard about William either, maybe I'll just be able to keep quiet about it. 

Justin immediately looks up, sees Scott and runs to him. Winston and I stand back while Justin wraps his whole body around Scott's and holds him tight like he doesn't want to let go. At least I don't have to worry about them getting together anymore. Scott looks at me unsurely and then he hugs Justin back, he rubs his hand slowly down Justin's back and I'm pretty sure I can hear Justin crying. 

I'm staring. I know I'm staring but it's good to finally see them together, it makes me think that Scott won’t act like such an idiot anymore and maybe he'll realise how stupid he was for even thinking about William. 

Winston walks over and he takes me by surprise when he slips his hand into mine. I wince and pull away quickly without even thinking about it so Winston looks down at my hand. 

"What did you… Did you hit someone?" he asks and he takes my hand and studies it from all angles. I'd tell him everything, it's not like he'd care because it's William. But at the same time, I feel weird because I don't _wanna_ tell him. Somehow I feel like he'll be mad. 

"He started it," I just say and Winston shakes his head disapprovingly. He's seen me get into fights before, with Brad and then that guy at the orchard. Both of them deserved it and so did William. But he looks worried now. 

"I don't like it when you get into fights," he mutters and he looks down at his feet. I raise an eyebrow, I don't see what the big deal is and why the sudden concern? My hand lands on his hip reassuringly so he looks up and sighs. "I don't want you getting hurt," Winston explains further and I have to smile. I never thought I'd like having someone worry about me but it's nice to know he cares. 

"I'm not gonna get hurt," I say with a small laugh but he still doesn't look convinced. "Baby listen to me, I promise I won't get hurt," I say and I lean in to kiss him, hoping that he forgot about torturing me but he steps back and his brow furrows. 

"You can't promise that," he mumbles and I groan. It's not like I go around _looking_ for a fight, I won't hit someone unless they really deserve it. 

"Well I am, so deal with it," I say and he grins at me. I swear I'm about to kiss him, I'm this close to touching his lips with mine when Jeff's voice ruins everything.

"Hey, did you get kicked out?" Jeff asks with a grin and he adjusts his blazer sleeve as he walks towards us. I'm just praying that he won't mention William or anything. He looked so out of place with his suit but now he doesn’t have a shirt on, the blazer is the only thing covering his upper body and he fits right in.

Justin is still clinging onto Scott and Scott laughs when he tries to take a step forwards and Justin doesn't move a muscle. "Okay," Scott says quietly, he puts his hands on Justin's thighs and then he picks him up and carries him like that with Justin's legs wrapped around his hips. That was quick. 

"So where's the car?" Winston asks and Jeff looks away and the smile on his face disappears. So something _is_ wrong. 

"I... " Jeff says awkwardly and he rubs his hand up and down his face. "I'll just go look for a cab or somethin'," he says and he starts walking away from us. 

"I'll come with you," I say without hesitation. I don't know why I feel like every time one of my friends has a problem, I gotta be the one to solve it. I just wanna help, you know? Jeff doesn't look happy but tough. Winston let's go of me and I follow Jeff down the road. Neither of us is looking for a cab. 

"Hannah broke up with me," he says suddenly, obviously the silence got to him before it did to me. And then I realise what he just said. Hannah and him? Fuck. That's one thing I never would have seen coming. Unless… 

"Did she… find out?" I ask and Jeff chews at his bottom lip. It's the only explanation I can think of. He doesn't look that bothered, maybe just a bit angry but he knows that they're not _really_ broken up. Or at least he seems to hope so. 

"Some drunk fucking dickhead went up to me and wanted to buy. Hannah's not dumb," Jeff says shortly and it's clear that he doesn't want to talk about it. To me or anyone else. He spots a cab parked up the street and he runs to it. I wait as he talks to the driver and then he waves me over and tells me to get the others. He'll have to talk about it someday, I can see that it's on his mind. Something's on his mind and he won't look me in the eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update  
> will be posting again on Tuesday and tomorrow im posting an extract from this chapter in another pov that tells us a little more about what happened with jeff  
> hope you enjoyed reading :)


	25. In Control

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

I've lost count of how many times I've tried to kiss him. My dad wasn't outside but Tony was and the gate was open. I didn't mind Tony seeing so I still tried to kiss Winston as we walked across the yard and to the barn. He didn't let me. 

"This isn't funny," I say trying my best to seem mad as I close the door and he dodges me to sit on my bed. I'm horny now after seeing Justin fucking grind all over Scott in the backseat of the car. They honestly didn't care who saw or that I teased them about it. The taxi driver looked just as uncomfortable as Winn who had to sit in the backseat with them two.

Winston giggles to himself and I stand by my closet and start undressing. I can feel him watching me as I unbutton my shirt, roll it down my shoulders and then drop it to the floor. I stand there for a moment and then I slowly turn my head to look at Winston. 

He's not smiling anymore and he gulps when I raise one eyebrow at him. I turn back and start working on my belt, removing it quickly before throwing it onto the chair. I can hear Winston now but he's not saying anything, poor guy is speechless. 

I'm in the middle of rolling my jeans down my legs when I feel a hand touching my arm, a thumb brushing over my skin and making me shiver. I don't say anything and I continue to take my jeans off with Winston touching my arm. After a moment, I stand there in my boxers when his hand snakes down to my lower stomach. He plays with the band of my boxers for a second and I'm already half hard. 

I'm letting him take control for now, just because I know that's what this whole thing is about. He stops touching me entirely and then steps in front of me. He rests his hands on my arms and I see that's he's still fully dressed as his eyes roam all over my body. "Fuck… how are you so hot?" he says quietly and he finally gives in, takes one step forward and lightly presses his lips to mine. I close my eyes, focus on the thing that I've been wanting all week and before I know it, it's gone. 

Winston pushes me back onto the bed and then he grins at me before crawling on top of me. What has he been doing while he was away from me? "Someone's getting cocky," I comment when he rests his knee just below my crotch and he places his hands on my chest to hold me down. 

"You have no idea," he says and then he leans down and kisses me forcefully. I start to realise why he likes it when I play with him. It may be frustrating to have to wait but fuck, it's so worth it. 

He rolls his hips, grinding against me not even caring about anything but this. I'm fully hard and I try to raise my hips to get some friction by grinding back against him. Fuck I just need him to touch me. 

I try to pull his shirt over his head but he moves away from me and moves down my body, leaving kisses all over my chest, my neck, biting down on my collar bone. 

"Winn... " I say breathlessly but it turns into a moan when he scrapes his teeth over my left nipple. My hand involuntarily moves to his hips and I squeeze tight. 

"Mmm?" he says moving onto the other nipple now. I can't even think straight, my brain feels like much and all I can focus on is how fucking hot he is and how good he's making me feel. 

"I feel so fucking gay right now," I say and Winston laughs. He's the only thing that's been able to make me feel so uncertain about pretty much everything. Fuck I was sure I was straight before he came into the picture. 

He doesn't reply, his mouth is busy kissing its way down my stomach until he reaches my boxers. He tugs them down hesitantly and then he looks up at me and grins. I see his eyes following the writing of the tattoo and then he leans down and traces the letters with his tongue. 

I'm fucking going crazy here and he's taking his sweet time just teasing me. I groan and I tug at his hair to try to get his mouth closer to my cock without having to ask for it but Winston quickly pulls away. 

He stares at me, raises one eyebrow and then leans down and stops when his lips are a fucking  _ millimetre _ from touching my tip. "You're gonna have to use your words, baby," he says softly and his breath washes over my cock and only makes me want him even more. 

"I... " I try but the words won't come out. I don't wanna fucking beg for it, I'm blushing just thinking about it. Winston waits and he teasingly licks his lips. I need him to be licking something else. "I need you," I say and he looks to the side and grins. 

"Need me where?" he asks and then I stop when I realise that he's using my own fucking words from the first time I had sex with him. I stare at him but he won't give in. I should just give him the best fucking of his life now but he's holding me down by my hips, trying to make sure I don't move even if I could shove him off with a light push. 

"Stop playing with me," I say but he moves away entirely and then hovers above me, his lips just grazing over mine. 

He blinks several times and he's not smiling, I feel like I'm being told off. "Monty... " he says slowly and then he looks me right in the eye. "Need me where?" he repeats and I swallow. 

"Everywhere," I say. I just need him to do  _ anything _ , my skin feels like its on fire or something. I'll fucking beg if I need to, who cares. "Baby please," I continue and I see the smile tugging at his lips. "I fucking need you to touch me okay, I don't care what you do. But fuck, I need you so bad... "

It seems to have worked because I've never seen him look so eager to suck my dick. He swallows me down whole not even caring when he gags. He holds it in his mouth for a moment and he sucks hard, licking everywhere. Hopefully, he's over the teasing. 

I try so hard not to moan as I grind my hips, trying to push further into his mouth even though there's nothing left to push in. I bet he wishes he could say something but he's too busy with his mouth full of dick, at least that's one thing I know that shuts him up. 

"Jesus, just like that," I say throwing my head back against the pillows when he squeezes the base and then moves down to brush his fingertips over my balls. He doesn't stop there, his fingertips stop just under my balls and then he starts massaging there. 

" _ O-oh _ shit," I say and I grab onto my pillow. I could fucking come right now except I'm pinching my forearm to distract myself. 

"Feel that?" Winston asks when he pulls away. My cock rests on his bottom lip, the tip brushing against it and I can't look away. "That's your prostate," he explains and he continues to massage that part making me fucking whimper like some whore. 

I want him to stop because I know what that means, it's the part he'd be aiming for if I let him fuck me. And I don't want him to stop because it feels so fucking good. He doesn't  _ need _ me to tell him not to stop, he simply continues to blow me while massaging my prostate with his free hand. 

"So fucking close," I mumble and then he pulls off. I glare at him and he smiles. Shouldn't have fucking said a thing, he's having fun being in control. 

He puts his hands on my knees and then sits in my lap, still fully clothed and his cock harder than mine. I wait for whatever he's got planned but he simply leans down and kisses me again. It only lasts for a few seconds as he caresses my cheek with his thumb.

I don't even realise that he's grinding against me until his metal zipper brushes against my cock and I inhale sharply. I stare at him and his eyes are squeezed shut as he rubs his crotch all over me, it's a reminder that even if he tries to be in control, he's still depending on me for pleasure. 

I take the chance to take control, I put my hands on his lower back and I move him closer to me. "Want me to take care of that?" I ask and he continues rutting against my leg. He's getting both of us off with how he's bouncing in my lap. He shakes his head and I roll my eyes. "I'm not here for decoration, if you want something then ask for it," I say pretending to be bored. 

Winston slows down and he keeps eye contact with me while his breathing gets heavier. "Can you... " he says and then he swallows. "Can you blow me?" he asks and he looks unsure of himself for the first time tonight. 

I've never done it before but I can try I guess. Can't be that hard to fucking suck a dick. "Err… Sure," I say and that's it. Neither of us moves and we just continue to stare at each other.

We burst out laughing and Winston leans down to kiss me shortly. "It's okay. We'll do that another time," he says and he's smiling down at me. I sigh with relief because I honestly had no idea how to even start. 

"I'll just use my hand… if that's okay?" I say and he nods. He pulls his trousers along with his boxers down for me and then puts his hands on my shoulders. His mouth finds mine while my hand squeezes around the tip of his dick. I jerk him off, twisting my hand and fucking my tongue into his mouth. He moans softly and I know that teasing isn’t what he wants right now so I don’t tease him.

A few more strokes and he's spilling all over my stomach and chest. He digs his nails into my shoulders as he pants and slowly thrusts into my hand. 

"That was easy," I grin at him and he puts his hands on my chest and pins me down to the bed again. "I'm just saying-" I continue but then he wipes his come off my chest with his hands and I stop. I just stare at him as he smears it all over his hands and then he looks up and grins at me. 

"What are you-" And he spreads his fucking come all over my cock like it's lube. I groan and I have to bite my lip to stop myself from making too much noise. My eyes are shut and I'm clenching my jaw tight so he doesn't make me moan. It's warm and fucking sticky but for some reason, it's not as gross as I thought it would be. 

I open my eyes just in time to see Winston hovering above me, trying to position himself properly. "Wait, don't you need to-"

"Shut up, I know what I'm doing," he says and he presses his lips to mine. He kisses me hard with his hand tugging at my hair and holding me close. I grab onto his hips and then I feel him lowering his body down but I shut my eyes again. He squirms a little and then lowers his body so the tip of my cock pushes just past the rim. He grunts and he digs his nails further into my shoulders. I squeeze his hips tight to stop myself from making noise but it’s useless.

“Ah fuck,” I say quietly and then he lowers his whole body down and I’m fully inside of him. I missed this, missed feeling him and being so close to him. Which is why I hold onto him and stop him from moving for a moment.

He’s panting quietly and then he grabs my shoulder. “Monty… Let go,” he says and he pulls my hands away from his hips. He pins them by my head and he starts moving. It feels too good to even care that he’s got my hands restrained and I can’t touch.

He moves slowly and gradually at first and his grip on my wrists is tight. Then he speeds up, moving a little faster, stroking his thumbs across my wrists and I thrust upwards to meet him.

“Just like that, just like that…” he says and he continues going faster, his hair falling over his eyes with every move and I wanna brush it away but I can’t. I try to move my hand and he presses it hard into the mattress. He’s stronger than I thought he was.

He slows down for a brief second which means I have to slow down, then he starts rocking in my lap, rolling his hips and I bite my lip but it doesn’t stop me from groaning. His dick brushes against my lower stomach as he keeps doing it and it leaves a wet trail all the way down my stomach. I’m trying so hard not to fucking come right now. "Jesus, where did you learn that?" I ask without meaning to, it’s just my first thought and I have no control over my body, brain or mouth right now.

"Justin gave me a few tips," Winston says proudly and he grins before moving faster. I wouldn’t have lasted any longer if he hadn’t mentioned Justin.

"You want me to think about Justin?" I ask and I try to concentrate on anything but how good this feels. Can’t think about Justin or I’ll go soft. 

"Think about me,” Winston says moving closer to whisper in my ear. “Come on, say my name." And I never thought I’d be here, getting told what to do while my hands are pinned to the mattress. I shake my head and he slows down, moving only gradually. "Do it. Say my name," he repeats but my mouth goes dry. “Maybe you need a little encouragement,” he says and he starts moving again, this time up and down and sharp waves of pleasure go through my body every time I’m fully inside of him.

“Fuck, fuck,” I say and I sink my teeth into my bottom lip. But that’s not what he wants to hear, he keeps bouncing up and down and I thrust upwards with every move. He leans in, presses his lips to mine. “Winn, baby…” He goes faster and I breathe in sharply and I know that I won’t be able to hold back any longer. “Fuck, I’m so close. Keep going. Don’t stop.”

I wish I could hold him right now but he’s very adamant on holding my hands down. Just a few more thrusts and he’s squeezing his eyes shut and my chest is raising up and down rapidly to the rhythm of my heartbeat. He stops.

It takes me a second and I let out a shaky breath. “Huh? W-Hey, keep  _ going _ ,” I say and I stare at him. His dick is flushed a deep red so he not only stopped my orgasm but his second one too. What does he think he’s doing? He swallows once, then he licks over his lips and he moves up so that my cock slips out of him and still fully erect, touches my stomach. “Come on, don’t be a tease,” I groan and he loosens his grip on my wrists so I wrap my arms around his waist, sit up and try to pull him back.

“Nu-uh, not today,” he says and he glances at his cock and then looks back up at me. He can’t be serious. 

“Winn, come on,” I say when he gets off the bed and wraps one of my flannels around himself like it’s a dressing gown. 

He stops and sits down on the edge of the bed so that he’s facing me. “Remember when I told you to say my name?” he asks and he pauses. “You should have said my name.” He doesn’t look mad, just amused and then he smiles at me.

“I hate you,” I say and I look back at my erection and how it’s slowly going away. Fuck, I was meant to come.

“No you don’t,” Winn says and I look at his face again. “And don’t even think about it, you’re not gonna come until I let you.” Until he lets me? I thought he was cocky before but this is a whole different thing. He smiles sweetly and then he disappears into the bathroom leaving me very confused.

Then _ hours _ later, we’re in the dark, in my bed and he says he’s trying to sleep but I  _ know _ he’s not.

“Monty… How many times do I have to tell you?” Winston giggles. He would be asleep now if he actually wanted to sleep but instead, he keeps touching me, bumping into me and pushing his ass right into my crotch.

He said ‘not today’ but it’s past midnight now so I don’t see the problem. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for this?” I say and I continue to kiss his neck while my hand gently strokes his thigh. “Do you know how much time I spent thinking about you?” I add and he laughs softly.

“You did?”

“Obviously, do you know how boring it was without you here?” He tilts his head back a little, letting me nibble at his skin. I leave faints marks, but nothing too major and his hand ends up tangled in my hair.

“Hey, good things  _ come _ to those who wait,” he says and then he laughs at his own joke. It’s so stupid that I chuckle a little too. He pushes me away and covers his neck with the sheets to make a point.

I never thought I’d be the one begging _ him. “ _ I’ll do anything,” I say skipping straight to the point so I can spare myself the embarrassment of pleading.

“Anything?” Winston asks and his eyes sparkle a little in the dark. I nod and he pulls the duvet down a little, brings his hand to the back of my neck and pulls my head down to kiss him. “Come to the city with me,” he whispers with his eyes still half-closed. “Just you and me, no family and no one else.” 

“Just you and me?” I thought he’d ask for something else, maybe ask me to blow him again because I was prepared to do that. But this is something entirely different and I don’t know if it’s such a good idea.

“Yes,” Winn says and then he sits up and lets go of me. “Just us. And we could do whatever you like, for however long you like and… Please?” He looks at me with those big eyes, looking adorable as hell and I sigh.

“Fine…” I say and he smiles wide and kisses me again. He comes to sit in my lap without breaking the kiss, I sit up and place my hands on his sides which makes him sigh softly.

“Are you letting me stay on top?” he asks me between kisses and I stroke my thumbs across his ribcage. His skin is so soft, feels so good to be able to touch him again. 

"Mhm," I say and he smiles and then places his hand on my shoulder. I realise that he's trying to reach for the lube when he leans over so I help him get it by moving closer to the nightstand. 

"Thanks," he says, he kisses me lightly and then squirts the lube straight from the bottle onto my cock which has been hard for a while thanks to his ass rubbing all over it while he was 'sleeping'. 

I spread the lube with my hand while he tries to make himself comfortable, one hand still clutching at my shoulder while the other one is around his own half-hard dick. Slowly, he lowers his body down, sits with his thighs on mine and he rolls his hips to get as much inside as he can. I mutter some curse words, remembering straight away how good it felt last time just before he stopped. 

His grip on my shoulder becomes tighter when he starts moving up and down, using me to keep his balance. I put my hands on his ass, helping him move up and down at a faster pace and he doesn't hold my hands down this time. 

"How is it?" Winston asks breathlessly, still fucking himself onto my cock while his own bounces up and down and touches my stomach.

"I'm gonna come," I admit and I squeeze his ass for a little support. I'm still hung up on that first time and all I wanna do is come and I know he's gonna let me. 

"I'm gonna come too," he says and he speeds up if that's even possible. I thrust upwards sloppily, trying to fuck him as best as I can and then I feel his muscles grip onto me tight and I come with a loud groan. 

Only after a moment, with my eyes still closed and my lips parted, I feel how his nails are digging into my flesh and then the warm substance hitting my chest as he comes. He doesn't stop there, he keeps bouncing up and down, whimpers a little and moans through his orgasm and then his muscles squeeze around me unexpectedly again and I find myself coming a second time. 

"Oh shit… holy fuck," I pant as he slows down, letting me ride it all out as I fill him up with my come. He moans a little at the feeling and then leans forward to kiss me. We continue kissing, trying to remember what it's like to breathe again.

"Was it worth the wait?" he asks still rolling his hips slowly and I nod shakily. It was torture but the good kind. "Good… maybe we should do it again," he says and he grins at me as he moves and lets my cock slip out of him, he stays in my lap, sitting just below my cock. 

"Hmm… maybe not. Maybe just  _ you _ next time," I say and he blushes just thinking about it. "If you liked it so much." 

“Don’t act like you wouldn’t do it again,” he says, still red in the face and then he rolls off me and lands next to me on the bed. Immediately, he gets up, goes to the bathroom (I assume to clean himself up) but then he comes back with a towel and starts to wipe his come off my chest.

“Aww, how sweet,” I tease him as I lay there and let him clean up. “Look at you, taking care of me.” It’s usually the other way around but we’re switching things up today.

“Yeah, you better be grateful,” he says trying to sound serious as he moves down to my abandonment. “I wouldn't do this for anyone else.” I hope that’s true.

***

He woke up before me and he keeps blowing air on my eyes and my nose to wake me up. It’s cold and it tickles and I keep telling him to stop but he just laughs and keeps going. “Let me sleep,” I groan and I turn away from him. I came twice yesterday - or today even - and I’m still tired, he could at least let me rest.

“It’s almost twelve already,” he says and he hugs me from behind. Have I really been asleep for that long? I check my phone and fuck, yes I have. It’s just Saturday though so it doesn’t matter.

“Okay,” I say and I try to get back to sleep. I put my hand under my cheek to support my head and I grab a pillow with my other hand. But Winston keeps fidgeting behind me and I can’t concentrate.

“I wanna get up,” he says when I tell him to stop. 

“Then get up.” I’m not ready to get out of bed yet, work starts on Sunday again so this is my last day to sleep in until next week. 

He scoffs and then the mattress moves again because he gets off the bed. “I’m gonna shower and you’re gonna be up by the time I’m back,” he says like he’s sure that’s gonna happen.

“Mhm.” He messes up my hair when he walks past and then laughs when I tell him to leave me alone again. I don’t understand why he wants to get up when we could be laying in bed doing nothing all day and nobody would mind. 

He takes one of the longest showers known to mankind which means I get a decent amount of sleep but there’s probably no hot water left for me. 

“Go shower,” he says and he tries pushing me out of bed the second he’s back. I’m in a slightly better mood but I shake my head.

“I’m clean,” I say sleepily and I stretch. It’s twenty to one in the afternoon so I better get out of bed now before Winston gets annoyed with me. I sit up, Winn gets on the bed again and I do a quick inspection to see if I actually need to shower right now or if it can wait till later. “Last night wasn’t even that messy,” I try to reason with him and he rolls his eyes obviously not agreeing with me. He even cleaned me up with a towel, I don’t need to shower just yet.

“Speaking of last night though…” he says and he puts his head on my chest. His wet hair smells of that expensive shampoo he brought over here a while ago so he’d have an excuse to shower and stay at my place for longer. 

“Yeah?” I ask. I mean I thought last night was great, I enjoyed it, it was fun… But he kind of looks nervous like he’s scared to tell me something and I get this uneasy feeling.

“I… I thought you liked being in control,” he says quietly and he blushes. Okay, I totally read this wrong. He just wants to talk about… this. 

“I do,” I say and I slowly card my fingers through his wet hair. I  _ do _ like being in control and I like seeing him enjoy it. “But… It was nice having you in control too.” At first, when he suggested being on top, I was so unsure of it because he’d be in charge and I didn't know how that would go. He held my hands down, didn’t let me touch him and it was foreign but I never thought I’d like it.

Winston clears his throat and he tilts his head to look up at me. “So… what else do you like?” I’ve never really had a conversation like that with anyone. With Chloe, it was just getting both of us off and we didn’t really experiment. I just did what she wanted me to, I didn’t want to hurt or scare her away. I couldn’t try anything like that with her.

I sigh and I look up at the ceiling as I try to think of what I might like. I mean, what are the options? I can’t just come up with something out of thin air. "I don't… I'm not sure," I say and I scratch my head. How do I even know what I like? I just like  _ him _ . 

"That's okay," Winn says and he places a small kiss on my chest. "We'll figure that out," he says and then he circles his finger around my nipple. "I like it when you're verbal.” he says and it’s so easy for him to talk about this. “When you… take control. And I don't mind it when you're rough either." He pauses and laughs lightly. "Like seriously, you could be a little rougher."

"I don't wanna hurt you," I say. "I just wanna be careful and make sure I don't do anything wrong." He smiles at me, still moving his hand across my chest. 

"Well, maybe we should have safewords," he says with a shrug. "So then you know if you're hurting me or not." I'd feel weird having this conversation if he wasn't so calm and casual about it. He's really comfortable around me, I feel like he trusts me. 

"Okay. Erm, any ideas?" I hate to admit it but I'm sure he knows more about this stuff than I do. 

"Traffic lights system? It's the easiest one," he says and then he explains it to me shortly. "God, relax. You look like you're about to faint." he laughs after a moment and then he massages my shoulders. 

"Sorry, just… this is new," I say and I rub the material of his shirt between my fingers. "I think that's enough for today though, I'll go take that shower."

"Right, okay," Winn laughs at me when I get off the bed. He knows it's just an excuse to leave but he won't point it out. 

***

"Text me when you get home and-"

"Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence!" We take about ten steps out of the barn just to catch the attention of my father. We've been inside for hours, just doing our own thing and now it's four and William said he wanted Winston's home as soon as possible. 

Now it looks like he isn't the only one in trouble. Estela and my mother are setting up the picnic table and chairs outside and my father is wiping down a plate. He doesn't look happy with me. 

"Hey, dad," I say awkwardly and I glance at Winston as we make our way towards him. Then I notice Tony coming out of the house, bringing out a big plate of spaghetti and meatballs. So they've been making dinner all this time while I was sat in bed, playing video games and cuddling Winston. Why do I feel so bad? 

My dad's eyes slide past me and land on Winston, his expression seems to soften. "Well are you staying for dinner or are you guys leaving us again?" he asks and I swallow down some of that nervousness I felt before, it's not as bad now. 

"Uh, staying," I say and I take a look at Winston and he smiles reassuringly. 

"I'll bring some more chairs!" Tony shouts and he disappears into the kitchen. They all go back to being busy, bringing out plates, cutlery and glasses while my mom sets the food on the table so that there's enough room for all of us. 

"Dinner with your parents, huh? You'd think we were dating," Winston whispers in my ear and then he walks past and slips into the seat on Estella's right. They don't make a big deal out of Winn sitting down, they treat him like they treat Scott when he comes over.

"So who's your friend?" my mom asks as she piles almost half of the large dish just onto my plate. She knows how much I eat and she also knows that I'm less nervous when I'm busy eating. Which also means that Winston is the one who has to answer all their questions. 

He doesn't do or say anything stupid, doesn't even touch me. I'm sat on Estela's other side, opposite my mother and he only looks at me when he mentions me while he's speaking.

He mostly talks about himself, tries to avoid having to talk about our 'friendship' and Estela doesn't say anything dumb  _ either _ but I'm sure she knows more than she's letting on. We're not just friends like my parents think. 

"Oh, so you're friends with Scott too?" my mom asks and she keeps badgering him with all those questions while my dad sits back, eats and listens. He's analysing him the same way he used to analyse Chloe whenever he caught her trying to sneak out. She never stayed for long, never had dinner with my family either. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm staying with him and his family," Winston answers and he takes a sip from his glass of apple juice, the apple juice that my mom made. "Mm, this is really good. Where did you buy it from?" he says after setting the glass down. I have to bow my head to hide the smile tugging at my lips, he's playing them. He damn well knows that my mother made it herself and he's just sucking up to them. 

"My wife made it actually," my dad buts in proudly and I see that he's trying hard not to smile, he still wants to put on his 'scary' face and see how much he can get out of Winn by intimidating him. 

I don't really join into the conversation, only when I'm addressed but it's Winston who runs the show, he's got my mother looking at him with heart eyes, my father laughing, Tony joking along with him and he won Estela over at day one. They all love him. 

"Oh, sh-sorry," Winston says when his phone rings at the table. He looks my way and he sighs. "It's my brother, I should get going. And thank you for the amazing meal, it was great meeting… Monty's family." He trails off when he's unsure how to address them so he goes for the safe option.

"I'll walk you to the gate," I say and I stand up leaving my empty plate behind. I keep some distance between us when we walk side by side. "They're watching us," I mutter to him and he grins. 

"I know," he says and he keeps his hands firmly by his sides, still not trying anything. "So what do you think? Did they like me?"

I roll my eyes. "You know they loved you," I say and he grins even wider. Wasn't expecting him to be meeting my parents today but it went as well as it could have. 

"Good," Winston says and we know that we can't do much because even though they're trying to be discreet, I know they're staring. 

"So… bye?" I say and I stop by the gate. He takes a few steps forwards, stands on the other side of the gate and gives me a small wave. 

"Bye," he whispers and then he sets off. 

I head back to my family, they all go silent and Tony raises his eyebrows at me. I'll have to ask him what they said later on when we're alone. 

"Your friend seems nice," my mom comments and she keeps using the word 'friend' like she's waiting for me to correct her. I'm not going to. 

"Er, yeah. He is," I say and I take a step back to distance myself from the table a little but I know my dad won't let me go back to the barn after spending the whole day in there. "I'll… help clean up." So I pick my plate up, gather the rest of the plates and I carry them to the kitchen along with Estela who smiles at me. 

"So is Winston officially your boyfriend now that mom and dad met him?" she asks me once we're inside. I roll my eyes as I set the plates down in the sink.

"He's not my-" I say and I sigh. "We're just… friends." Friends that act like they're dating, it's stupid but that's what we are. "And stop fucking smiling, get out," I say and I try to push her out of the kitchen because she keeps staring at me creepily. 

"I'm going! I'm going," she laughs and she leaves me alone with the dirty dishes. I just hope Winston is gonna have more fun than me. And let's pray William doesn't tell him that I beat the shit out of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading :)


	26. Call Me When You're High

**Chapter 26**

I think William is only doing it to spite me. I hit him but instead of telling Winston, he’s taking him away from me. He knows Winn wouldn’t care if he told him that I hit him so he found another way to piss me off. 

Winston didn’t say much, he just texted me to tell me that he’ll be out of town with William for today but he said he’ll be back in the evening and he’ll drop by so we can ‘start our research’. I’ll try not to think about what that means too much.

Which is easy now that I have work but at the same time boring because Winn isn’t here so I have nothing to stare at. And Scott is unusually quiet. I thought him working with me would mean that he’d distract me by talking but he just hums to himself and occasionally looks in Justin’s direction and smiles to himself. 

“So you fucked him last night,” I say out loud when he pauses and stares at Justin for a little too long. Justin is working with some girls from the city. Actually, he’s messing about and making them laugh while they do all the work but they don’t seem to mind.

“Huh?” Scott says and he blushes a deep shade of red. He can’t honestly think that he’s being discreet, not when he’s eye-fucking Justin all the way from here. And after seeing them together last night, I’m surprised they didn’t start fucking in the back of that taxi.

I walk down the ladder so I stand next to Scott, he’s only got half a basket of peaches collected while I’ve got a full one. We’re moving onto cherries tomorrow, no one likes picking them because no matter how hard you try, you still stain your hands and clothes with the red justice. It’s impossible to get rid of.

“Justin,” I say so he knows what I’m talking about. “Are you guys… Back together?” He better say yes, I don’t wanna have to go through this whole Justin-Scott-William drama again. 

Scott looks at Justin who is currently eating a peach and letting the juice run down his hand and chin. Ew. Scott grins and then looks at me. "I… yes? I think so," he says and then when I sigh he laughs. "Shut up, you've been with Winston for a whole fucking month now and you still haven't asked him to be your boyfriend. Me and Justin will figure it out." Scott says with a smug grin and then he gets on the ladder again. He takes two steps up and then he stops. "And for the record, no I didn't fuck him last night. I fucked him this morning."

It takes me a second to register what he said. I laugh. Here I was thinking Scott was getting soft but it was just William's influence rubbing off on him. He'll be okay now that Justin's back in the picture. 

I grin at him as I get back on the ladder too and Scott grins back. Maybe he could help out? "So erm... " I start and then I pretend to inspect a peach even though I'm just stalling. Just spit it out. "So Winston wants me to like… you know."

Scott stares at me and he looks confused. "Wants you to what?" he asks and he carefully places the peach in his basket not to bruise it. How the fuck am I meant to say it? I can't just  _ say _ it. 

"Like… B-L-O-W him?" I whisper and Scott's brow furrows as he puts the letters together in his head. Jesus Christ, it's not that hard. 

" _ Oh _ ," Scott says when he finally figures it out. Luckily there's no one close to us so they no one can hear us. "You mean you haven't yet? Why not?"

I didn't know I was gonna get questioned about it. I just didn't really think about it until now. For Winston, it seems normal but I've never done it before. It kinda freaks me out just thinking about it. Not that I don't think I wouldn't like it, I just know he's amazing at it and all the guys he's been with before… he'll laugh at me if I try to blow him. 

I shrug and Scott pauses and gives me his full attention. “If you don’t wanna do it just tell him, he’ll understand,” he says and I sigh.

“And what if I do?” I mutter keeping my eyes fixed on the ground below us. Scott sighs but I don’t give him a chance to answer. “Okay, what do you do with Justin? Tell me anything.” If Justin gave Winston’s tips like he said then why shouldn’t I get some help too?

“Er…” Scott says and he awkwardly scratches his neck. “Do you really wanna know?” Would I be asking if I didn’t? I nod. Scott clears his throat and he resumes picking the peaches before we can get told off for just standing here and talking. 

“Okay so, blowjobs are cool and all but… “ Scott pauses and then he glances back at me. “You could try eating him out, apparently it’s nice.” He smiles to himself, his cheeks flushing pink and then he turns away.

“Huh?” I really thought I knew everything there was to know about this, I heard all of the stories about what my friends did with other guys but erm…

Scott tries to explain it to me in the simplest way possible and it doesn’t sound so bad when he’s explaining it. It stops being awkward after a minute and Scott talks about it like he’s explaining maths homework to me. I may be useless at Maths but I’m not gonna let myself be useless at this too. It sounds… simple? I’ll figure it out. 

***

You might be wondering why Justin and I are sat on the pier, high off our heads and trying our best not to drown. There’s no simple explanation. After work, Scott went home because his parents are out of town and they gave him something to do, I didn’t ask what.

Justin offered to walk me home and then he wouldn’t leave me alone. He stalled and stalled, and It didn’t take a genius to figure out that he didn't wanna go home or be alone. Something is going on with his family again.

I wasn’t gonna have him over at the barn or he’d break something like always. And at least Justin can take my mind off of Winston and William just for a second. I still haven’t heard from him, I hope he’s okay.

“How deep do you think it is?” Justin asks and then he extends his leg and tries to dip his toes in the water. We’re at the same pier that we were a while back when Winston came to talk to me. 

“Don’t fucking try anything,” I say and I push him back, away from the water I may be high but I do have some common sense left. I promised I’d keep him company but I’m not letting him die on my watch. 

“Dude, relax,” he laughs and he throws a stone in the water and watches it skim across the surface. Then he turns to me. “Have you got any more of those pills?” I sigh and I roll my eyes. I was literally in the bathroom at the barn for about thirty seconds and he managed to find the molly although he didn’t tell me about them until we got to the pier. I told you, he’s like a sniffer dog for drugs.

“No and even if I did I wouldn’t give you them,” I say and Justin pretends to pout. Sometimes I also hate it when he pretends that everything is alright even though I can already see it’s not, it’s frustrating. Though I prefer this over him crying on the floor of a bathroom. “How’s your mom?” Time to be bold and try to get it out of him. 

His body immediately stiffens and the grin disappears from his face. I know I’ve got the right idea. Justin doesn’t answer, he bows his head and starts messing about with the strings on his shorts. I wonder if Scott knows, he probably does.

“Is she… okay?” I continue and Justin groans loudly.

“Why do you care?” he mumbles and then he throws another stone but this time it sinks straight away and Justin sighs. I care because Justin is my friend and I don’t want him to do anything stupid, I don’t like it that he’s always being treated like shit. 

“I just wanna know how you’re doing,” I say simply but that doesn't seem to be enough because Justin just acts like he can’t hear me. “Look man, I care about you. And I’m worried. You don’t have to tell me everything if you don’t want to but… Are you okay?”

He scoffs at first but then a small smile appears on his lips and he shakes his head. “No? I don’t know man… It all just feels like shit,” Justin says and his lip trembles. I think it’s the drugs getting us so emotional.

He leans back and then lays down on the pier with his legs still hanging down just above the water. I do the same so that we’re lying side by side. It’s late and it’s getting dark but it’s not exactly dark yet. I wish I knew what time it is but my phone died. I gotta get home before midnight though or I’ll get no sleep before work tomorrow.

“If you need a place to stay-”

“I’m all good,” Justin cuts me off and he clears his throat. I don’t say a word, I can tell he’s gathering up the courage to tell me something. Justin has trouble talking about himself, he messes about and hopes that no one ever takes him seriously or notices that something is up. I can always tell with him. As I said, we used to be really close once and I got to know him properly. 

“I mean it. I don’t want you staying there if it’s not safe,” I tell him and he gives me a small nod before his face starts to crumble again. 

“You know Scott said the same thing,” he says with a small laugh and then he rubs at his eyes with the heel of his palm. So I guess Scott knows, at least Justin isn’t alone with this. “But I don’t wanna bother you guys,” Justin adds and I sigh.

“You’re not bothering anyone, we’re your friends, remember?” I nudge him with my elbow and Justin cracks a smile finally. In a way, I kinda feel connected to Justin. We're the only seniors who aren’t going to college. I mean I got some offers but I just decided that college wasn't for me. And Justin said 'I'm not gonna live past eighteen anyway so what's the point' when they asked him to apply. I thought he was joking but now I'm not so sure. When everyone else leaves for college, Justin and I might be the only ones left. And Jeff. He’s going to the local college.

"Thanks," Justin says quietly and then a comfortable silence falls between us. It only lasts about three seconds before Justin needs to disturb it. "Has Scott told you about us yet?"

"Told me what?" When I asked Scott if they were together, he said ‘maybe’ and I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean. 

“That we’re like… talking now? I mean, we’re okay now. We’re not fighting or anything,” Justin rambles on and then he grins to himself. Yeah, I thought it was pretty clear from how he couldn’t keep his hands away from Scott last night. But it’s nice to hear, at least I know William is out of the picture. 

“Good. I’m happy for you,” I say simply. It seems like everyone is finally getting into serious relationships…

“What about you and Winston?” Justin then asks and he sits up. I raise one eyebrow at him, waiting for him to continue. “Are you two like… together yet?” I groan and I sit up too. I’m sick of that question, not everyone has to be get together. “What?” Justin continues when I move away from him and I don’t reply. “You guys are okay, right? Thought you liked him.”

“I do,” I say quietly and then I press my lips together. Justin won’t give up, he sits closer to me and he stares at me like he thinks he can get it out of me. 

“But?”

“But I- I don’t know,” I sigh and I cover my face with my hands. Why does it sound so fucking complicated in my head? Every time I try to decide what to do, I just end up going in circles. “I care about him obviously,” I add and then I let my hands drop into my lap. “And I want this to work but we’ve only got four weeks left together.”

Justin actually fucking laughs at me. He stops when I glare at him. “Dude, you’re acting like the world is gonna end in four weeks, you can still stay in touch,” he tells me and then puts his hand on my shoulder.

I’m not stupid, everyone keeps telling me this like I don’t know that phones exist. But that’s not the problem. “Okay, let’s say we keep in touch. I stay here to help out my dad and he goes… there to college. How would that work exactly?” I ask and Justin takes his hand off me. This is what’s been going on in my head for the last few days. “And… What if one day he bumps into some guy at college, starts talking to me less and less until… he completely forgets about me and-”

“Those are all ‘what ifs’, you’re stressing yourself out for no reason. You don’t know what will happen, don’t you at least wanna give it a try?” Justin interrupts me and he frowns. How can he give pretty good advice while his own love life was in shambles just two days ago? 

“I’d rather end it now while we’re on good terms than get hurt later,” I conclude and this time it’s Justin’s turn to sigh. He doesn’t understand, he’s optimistic that he and Scott will be able to do the long-distance thing. I wish I was so confident in Winston but I just don’t think he’s the kind of guy to wait around for someone. 

“Have you talked to Winston about this? Because so far, you’re only making up scenarios not even knowing what  _ he _ feels like and in the end, both of you are gonna get hurt,” Justin says and he stands up. I’ve never seen him talk so passionately about something before. He stands there, biting his lip as he waits for my answer. I promised Winn that I'd talk to him if I have a problem with something or if I'm worried, so far I'm not doing great keeping that promise. 

I shrug. “What do you want me to  _ say  _ to him?” If I tell Winston that I’m scared he’ll get bored of me the second he sees a guy at college he’s gonna get mad at me, I just know he will. I place my hands on my kneecaps and then I face the water again. I think the pill is starting to wear off or something because at first it was great and now it all feels shitty again. I reach into my pocket for the other two pills I managed to grab before Justin could find them. I rustle the plastic between my thumb and forefinger.

“Just tell him exactly what you said to me and I’m sure he’ll... You said you didn’t have any more,” Justin says. All it takes is one rustle of a plastic bag and he’s distracted. 

I don’t wanna talk about Winston anymore. Or think about him for that matter, it’s just a summer fling that I shouldn’t worry about too much. It’ll be fine. 

“You want it or not?”

***

**Winston’s POV**

I keep telling William to hurry up but he doesn’t listen to me. A ‘friend’ of his called him because she’s opening a new restaurant and she wanted him to paint a design on one of the walls. He dragged me along because she wanted pictures for her website too. And just a while ago he was telling me how useless photography was.

I’ve already photographed the outside and some of the inside but I can’t photograph the lounge area until William is finished with the wall and he’s not. He would be if he stopped flirting with his ‘friend’. It’s painful to watch.

And I’m bored. I have to sit at one of the corner tables and Samantha (Will’s friend) keeps offering me orange juice and cupcakes. I think she’s trying to be friendly but she’s barely said a word to me and giving me food isn’t gonna make me like her. It might work for Monty but not for me.

Monty. I keep glancing at my phone, checking if he’s responded to any of the messages I sent him. He should have finished work hours ago so I don’t understand why he’s not replying. I hope he’s okay.

I hear William laugh and I roll my eyes at him. Can he just get this over with so I can go back to Monty’s? Surely William can work his way around a camera.

I keep glancing at the bruise on his nose and wondering why Monty didn’t let me know that it was  _ William  _ who he got in a fight with. I put it together, William got those bruises last night, the same night that Monty punched someone. I might act like an idiot but I’m not one.

I’m not angry with Monty for not telling me, somehow I think he may have had his reasons but I wish he told me. Maybe that’s why he’s ignoring me, is he worried that William told me? William wouldn’t, he knows I wouldn’t care either way. He can take care of himself.

I unlock my phone again and check my texts in case he sent me a message and I just didn’t get a notification. Am I being too clingy? That’s what I’m most worried about, I don’t wanna push Monty away by being too… needy. He hasn’t said anything about it but all my exs all said the same thing, I was clingy and annoying. I just get attached way too fast, I can’t help it.

“No worries, we’ll finish it in the morning,” William says and I look up from my phone. What? Finish it in the  _ morning? _ He told me it’ll be a day's job, I didn’t sign up for this. I stare at him and Samantha as he stands up and wipes his hands clean from the paint. They’re talking but I can’t hear what about.

“Are we going home?” I call out to them. I hate how William always keeps me in the dark about stuff like this, he just expects me to follow along with whatever he does and to be fine with it. I wanna know what’s going on.

William rolls his eyes like just the sound of my voice irks him and he sighs audibly. “No,” he says simply and then he crosses his arms over his chest and turns back to Samantha. Wow, he’s so informative, he should become a reporter for Fox News.

I sulk in my chair and I spam Monty with a dozen messages about how much I hate William and then at the end I tell him that I won’t be back until tomorrow and I make sure that it’s clear that it’s all William’s fault. Still no reply. I’m worried.

William finally packs up all his shit and calls me over so I throw my bag over my shoulder and I walk over to him. I decide to text Scott because if anyone knows Monty then it’s him. I get a reply within seconds.

**_Scott:_ ** _ I think he’s at home, why? _

**_Winston:_ ** _ He’s not replying to my texts. _

I press send and then I blush when I read over the text. I sound like a crazy controlling girlfriend. This is exactly why Monty is ignoring me.

William says something but I’m too busy texting Scott to care.

**_Scott:_ ** _ Chill, he’s probably sleeping it off. I heard you have a busy night planned ;) _

I blush again, this time even harder and I look around to see if anyone noticed. No, William is too engrossed with his girlfriend. Monty told Scott. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad but I’m gonna trust my gut and say it’s a good thing. And Scott is right, obviously Monty must have just passed out on his bed after work now that I’m not there to keep him awake. It’s all okay, I’m just overthinking.

“Did you hear what I said?” William gives me a light push with his bag and I finally look up. “Don’t just stand there looking gormless, help me with my bags.” William sighs and he kicks one of his bags towards me. How many bags does he fucking need? I only took one, the one with my photography equipment while he’s got three. Wait a minute-

“Did you know that we’d be staying here until tomorrow?” I ask him and he stops in his tracks. Because why else would he need three bags?

William shrugs. “I knew it was a possibility.” he says and he pauses. “We’re staying at Samantha’s. I’ll let you borrow my clothes if you don’t have anything to wear.” So now he’s trying to act like he’s doing something nice for me when really he’s the whole reason why I’m even here. 

So the only reason why I have to stay the night here and waste  _ another _ day of the summer doing something stupid is that William wants to spend the night with his girlfriend. I think I’m gonna puke from just thinking about it.

But then after Samantha drives us to her house, William says that he doesn’t mind sharing the guestroom with me. I think I’d rather have him sleep with this girl than with me. The last time we shared a bed, I was eight and I remember crying all night because William wouldn’t stop elbowing and kicking me out of bed. He was such a dick even as a kid.

We’re in the guestroom and William is rummaging through one of his bags. “Here,” he says and he throws something in my face. I grab it before it hits the floor. It’s a plain grey T-shirt.

“Uh… Thanks,” I say and he ignores me. I wouldn’t expect anything less from him. My bag is on the table at the side, I don’t want his ginormous feet stepping on my bag in the middle of the night and crushing my camera. 

It’s so awkward, just standing there and getting changed for bed in silence because we can barely spend two minutes alone in a room without arguing, we always find something to fight about. I feel much better when Will says he’s gonna shower because that means I have some time alone without him watching me like a hawk.

I check my phone several more times after I get changed. I sit on the edge of the bed because God knows which side William will want to sleep on. I don’t want him to come back here and argue with me over sides of the bed. 

I’m about to text Monty again to ask if he’s okay when my phone rings. My heart skips a beat but it’s only Justin. He probably wants to talk about Scott and ask about my night with Monty. He’ll want details too.

“Hello?” I answer the phone like this by default just in case and I hope Justin doesn’t tease me for sounding ‘snobby’ as he called me once when we were having breakfast at the hotel with my family. 

“Hey, is this Winston?” a familiar voice replies and I break out in a grin. 

"Hey… Monty. Why are you calling from Justin's phone?" I was starting to think he was really ignoring me. 

"Er…" he says and laughs. "My phone died, sorry. Justin let me borrow his, isn't that right?" Someone close by mumbles something and I assume that's Justin. I never thought I was a jealous kind of person. Never. But knowing that he's been blowing me off and spending the day with Justin kind of makes me nervous. But Monty said his phone died and I should believe that. I mean we're not even dating, I need to stop being so clingy. 

"So… why are you calling?" I ask and I move up the bed and I tuck my knees into my chest. It's late and I wanna know why he only thought about calling me now. 

"Oh shit, am I interrupting something? Oh and by the way, when are you gonna be back? Should I stay up and wait for you or-"

"Woah, slow down," I laugh. I don't think I've ever heard Monty talk so fast. "You're not interrupting anything, I love talking to you. But… I won't be back until tomorrow morning so don't wait up." I hold my breath as I wait for the tone of his voice to change and ask me why and for him to be pissed about it. 

"Oh. Are you okay?" he asks instead and my heart skips a beat again. 

"Yeah, it's just William. You know?" I say and Monty sighs loudly. "I swear I'll be back in the morning though." I pause and I wait for a response. He doesn't say anything but I hear Justin singing a song. I think they might be drunk. "Why are you calling?" Drunk calling.

"Erm… wait," he says and then in a lower voice I hear him talking to Justin but I can't make out anything he's saying. He needs to hurry up, I don't want William coming in here and listening in to our conversation.

"Are you still here?" he asks after a couple of seconds and I can no longer hear Justin's singing in the background. 

"Mhm." The water in the bathroom stops running and I bite my bottom lip. "So?"

"Listen I just wanted to tell you something…" Monty starts and then he sighs. "It's gonna be kinda long so just listen. You don't have to say anything." Now I'm worried.

"I was just talking to Justin about you… and I don't know what we are or what we're doing or how this is gonna go and if anything will come out of it… but I do like you. And I don't wanna… lose you. Don't laugh at me, I know you want to but I'm serious," Monty says and then he chuckles to himself. Trust me, I'm not laughing. I think it's cute. I fall back on the bed and I run my fingers through my hair as I grin at the ceiling. I forget all those worries I had about him, this was worth waiting for. 

"I like you too," I say because my mind is having trouble taking it all in at once. He talked to Justin about me… he likes me… he doesn't wanna lose me… I feel the same.

"Yeah? Good," Monty says shortly but I can already imagine him smiling on the other end and I stare at the clock on the wall, wanting it to go faster so it can be tomorrow already. 

"Anything else?" I urge him. He might be drunk or high or whatever, I don't really care, but he's being honest right now and I'm gonna use that to my advantage.

There's a silence on the other end, disturbed by William dropping something in the bathroom. 

"I… I think I'm falling in love with you."

***

**Monty's POV**

Voices. I hear voices. Scotty's voice actually. I don't know where I am but I'm laying down, on a bed I think and when I extend my arm, I brush past something warm. Winston? 

God, was I so high last night that I don't even remember my night with him? I open my eyes but it's not Winston, I'm lying next to Justin. "What the… "

"It's alive," someone says sarcastic and I recognise that voice too. After a second. I slowly crane my neck to look at the door. We're in Scott's room, me and Justin laying in his bed while Jeff and Scott glare at us from the doorway. 

"Huh?" I look around the room again, trying to find something familiar to tell me why I'm here. The first thing I notice is the clock and it's past nine in the morning. Nine in the morning. "Oh, fuck. Why am I not at work? Why did no one wake me up?" I try to scramble out of bed but I get a sharp pain in my head and my legs feel too heavy to move. 

Scott and Jeff exchange a disapproving look. "Dude, you were knocked out cold. You weren't even moving," Jeff says and he starts chewing on his bottom lip. At first, I thought he was angry but now I see that he’s worried. Really fucking worried. 

Scott is the one who's angry. "I thought you were gonna walk him home!" he shouts gesturing towards Justin who is still very much asleep and looks barely alive. The shouting is making my headache worse. "You were supposed to make sure he didn't do anything stupid, not do so stupid  _ with _ him." Scott sits on the edge of the bed next to Justin and he puts his hand on Justin's head but he doesn't react. 

There's a weird feeling in my stomach. Guilt. We were having fun, both of us. I didn't really think about the consequences. I didn't mean for anyone to get… hurt? "Is he gonna be okay?" I ask while my eyes stay focused on Justin. If I didn't know better I'd say he was dead. 

"He should be," Jeff answers calmly. He can see that I'm starting to panic and he sits down next to me and helps me to sit up. "He woke up at about four in the morning and vomited everything out so Scott called me, he should be okay. He's just exhausted." 

I still don't know how I ended up here, where Winston is or… fuck, I don't even remember shit from last night. 

"I, erm, I talked to Hannah. She's not expecting you, Justin or Scott to show up to work today," Jeff adds then and he gives me a small nod before his eyes focus on Justin. "And Justin isn't a child, it's not your fault that he got fucked up." He says that but I don't think he means it. Everyone knows Justin isn't always the best when it comes to common sense. But that's the second time now that he's pushed past his limits and taken in more than he could take. I'm really worried about him and I shouldn't have let him get so wasted on my watch. I feel responsible.

"Then why do I feel so… shitty," I groan and I rub my hands up and down my face. I don't feel awake at all. 

"Maybe because you're still fucked up," Jeff laughs giving me a slap on the back. He stands up and grabs my shoulder. "Come on let's get you something to eat." I stand up too, looking at Justin and Scott. Scott doesn't look as worried now as he rubs Justin's back. "You coming too?" I finally gather the courage to ask. 

"No, I… I've gotta stay with Justy. Just in case," Scott says and he gives me a small nod. Justy. I understand why he seems mad at me, he's worried about his boyfriend. 

"Right." Jeff leads me downstairs with his hand on my shoulder and I close the door to Scott's bedroom behind us. We're lucky that Scott's parents are out or we'd have to answer a lot of questions.

We sit in the kitchen because the sun outside is making my eyes and head hurt. Jeff gives me some eggs and sausages on a plate, they're lukewarm so obviously cooked way before I woke up. Jeff talks to me and explains how Justin and I ended up here while I eat. Apparently, we called Scott in the middle of the night because we were 'lost' and Scott was set on looking for us only to find out that we were in his backyard. I don't remember any of this. 

"Feeling any better?" Jeff asks after I finish my breakfast. I'm still hungry, that wasn't enough to make up for last night. Jeff shakes his head and laughs. "Man, I've never met anybody who eats as much as you." He fries another egg and sausage for me while I sit at the table with my head in my hands. My head is killing but I can't imagine what Justin feels like. 

"Hey, where's Winston?" I ask and I look around. Wasn't he supposed to be here? Jeff looks around too like he expects Winston to jump out from a cupboard. He shrugs. 

"Where's my phone?" I pat my pockets but it's not there. Fuck, I hope I didn't lose it. 

"Er… wait," Jeff says. He leaves the sausages in the pan and then he walks around the kitchen. "Here, I put it on charge."

He slides my phone across The table and I quickly unlock it with my thumb. It's flooded with messages. I read the whole essay Winston wrote to me about William while eating my second breakfast. By the time I'm done reading all the messages, my breakfast is gone and I feel exhausted just from reading. 

He should be back this morning. Why is shit always so complicated with him? I'll answer that, William always makes it complicated. The bastard hates me. Someone needs to distract him or keep him busy because he's obviously got way too much time on his hands. He's already finished with the wall at Scott's house, he should find something else to do. 

"Hey, so… Justin's awake." I look up from my phone, Scott is standing in the doorway. He crosses his arms over his chest nervously and then bows his head. Something's wrong. 

"How is he?" Jeff asks first and he stands up. If anyone can help with Justin it's Jeff, he'll know what to do. 

Scott bites his lip and shakes his head. "He's awake but it's like… he's not. He hasn't said a word to me. Not even a word." That doesn't sound like Justin at all. What the fuck happened last night? Did we do something? Did I  _ say _ something? 

Scott and Jeff both look at me like they're waiting for an explanation to why Justin is the way he is. No clue, I can barely remember hanging out with him last night. "I'll talk to him," I eventually sigh and I drag my feet out of the kitchen. Scott gives me a small smile when I pass him and that's enough to tell me that he's not angry with me anymore. 

I look out the window from the living room but there's no sign of a taxi anywhere, I'll have to wait just a tiny bit longer for Winston. 

**_Monty:_ ** _ Miss you _

I text him and then I put my phone away and I got up the stairs. Justin is laying in Scott's bed, hugging the blanket and looking blankly at the wall. I say hi to him and he doesn't react. Nothing whatsoever. 

"Er… I can't remember shit from last night, can you?" I try to start the conversation in a different way but he doesn't respond to that either. Slowly, I make my way towards the bed and I sit down on the edge. This is probably about his family again.

I sit there for a minute or two in silence and then Justin sighs shortly, the first response I've gotten from him today. "What if I end up like Seth?" he asks quietly and when I look back at him, his teeth are digging hard into his bottom lip. Seth is his mom's boyfriend and it's like an on and off thing. He comes and goes whenever and Justin hates him, now I understand why he didn't wanna go home yesterday.

"You won't," I assure him but it's like he's not even listening to me. 

"I… I'm crap at school, I'm not even going to college. All I do is get fucked up and… and bother everyone. Let's face it, Scott is gonna get sick of me one day and I'll be alone. And then I'll probably die of an overdose in some dirty alley, dead at the age of twenty-one." I stare at him but he keeps his eyes focused on the wall. His face is hardened and he's breathing heavily through his nose. I wanted him to open up and he did, now what do I do? 

I don't say anything because anything that would come out of my mouth would probably make the situation worse. I put my hand on his shoulder, Justin exhales deeply and then closes his eyes. 

"I don't know what I'm doing with my life man, I don't wanna end up like some low life junkie. I don't know what to do... " Justin continues. Then he sits up and he unexpectedly hugs me from behind by pressing the side of his face into my back. He just needs someone right now and for some reason, he wants that someone to be me. 

"You're not gonna end up like Seth, please," I scoff but that's not enough to make him feel better. "Look Justin, you're not like him. You're… college degrees don't mean shit. It doesn't define you as a person and you don't need to have your whole life figured out by eighteen, some people are in their thirties and they still have no idea what they're doing."

He sighs softly and I feel him relax a little, he just needs to be reminded that he worries about meaningless shit all the time. 

"And Scott doesn't look like he's going anywhere. Neither am I, you're my friend and I really care about you," I say. I'm really going all out on this one and he better take it to heart because I don't like repeating myself. Justin smiles and he tries to hide it but I see it. He tightens his grip around my chest and then rests his chin on my shoulder.

"You care about me? As in… you love me? Aww, you finally admit it," Justin teases me and I try to push him away but he's not letting me go. At least I prefer this Justin to the one from a minute ago. 

Someone clears their throat and both Justin and I turn our heads. Winston is standing in the door, his lips are set in a thin line and he looks at Justin first and then at me. I can’t read him. 

He sighs and then crosses his arms over his chest. “Am I interrupting something?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading :)


	27. Still Get Jealous

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

“Am I interrupting something?” Justin says for the fiftieth time in a fake posh accent. Winston glares at him, I try not to grin. “Come on man, it was funny. You looked so jealous.” Winston scoffs and then he tries to walk out of the room but I grab his hand and pull him back. Winston jealous over Justin? Seriously?

Justin seems to have developed a cold so Scott wrapped him up in a blanket before it could get any worse. We’re all downstairs in Scott’s living room while William locked himself away in his room. He said he was just putting his bags away but everyone knows that’s code for ‘I’m avoiding Monty’. The bruises on his nose and face look really nice now. I’ve got good aim.

Scott says Justin fell in the pool last night when we were high and he thinks that’s why Justin is sick. I think it might be more than that but I guess we’ll see. As long as he turns out okay.

I’m trying to play GTA with Justin but Scott keeps asking him if he feels okay and Jeff touches his forehead every five seconds to check his temperature.

“Wow, you guys should go ahead and adopt him already,” I comment and Jeff gives me a light push while he walks past. I know we’re all worried about Justin and we all want him to be okay but they should know by now that Justin doesn’t like being coddled. Unless it’s from Scott, he’s loving the attention.

Winston, on the other hand, hasn’t really said much and his eyes are fixated on his shoes. I keep glancing at him and he doesn’t look pissed but maybe… upset? So I make some shitty excuse about being bored, I pass the controller to Jeff and then I go over to Winston.

Why would he be upset? What has William done this time?

“Hey,” I say quietly and he looks up. He seems surprised to see me and he blinks at me with those big hazel eyes of his. I touch his arm gently and then glance towards the kitchen. “Can we talk?”

For a split second, something changes like a flicker of hope in his eyes and then he blinks and it’s gone. Winn nods and starts to make his way towards the kitchen so I guess I just imagined it. Though he still looks worried and I don’t understand why.

“Erm… You’re not still jealous about Justin, right?” I ask and I shut the door to the kitchen to block out the shouting coming from the living room. 

Winston scoffs and he steps back. "I'm not jealous," he huffs. Alright, sensitive subject. I'll drop it. 

"Okay, then why are you… are you okay? What happened with William?" I ask him but he won't look at me. He keeps nibbling at his lip and I'm starting to sweat. What's taking him so long to answer? 

"Why did you… Get so fucked up with Justin? And now you're missing work too? I mean, it just doesn't sound… responsible," he says and at first I think he's kidding. But he crosses his arms over his chest and waits patiently for my answer. 

"Responsible?" 

Winston nods slowly like he's unsure now. "I know you like to… have fun. And obviously I’m not judging you but… I didn't think you'd get so fucked up in the middle of the week. Especially if you knew you had work in the morning," he continues and then he licks his bottom lip. "I mean, what do you even remember from last night? Do you remember anything?"

He stares at me looking nervous, starts to rocks on the heels of his feet and I try to think back to last night. What do I remember? I remember getting fucked up with Justin. I remember taking that second pill. We may have smoked weed. Or we took something, I don't know. But we were fucked up. And Winston is right whether I wanna admit it or not. It was stupid. I should have been looking after Justin and not getting fucked up with him. 

"I'm sorry," I say and then I take a few steps forwards. Winn lets his guard down, he let's me hug him and he hugs me back, wrapping his arms around my back and holding me close. I feel him sigh with relief. 

"Okay… but what do you remember?" he asks again. I press my nose into the crook of his neck, breathing him in and feeling how warm he is. I missed him even though he's only been away for a day. I love holding him like this. "Do you remember calling me?" 

My brow furrows at his question. "I called you?" I remember that my phone was dead. And I remember… I don't remember much but I think I'd remember if I talked to him. 

"From Justin's phone," Winston elaborates and he pulls away. I keep my hands on his hips even though he's at arm’s length now. He waits again. Like for some sign that I can remember this phone conversation we supposedly had. 

"Did I say anything… important?" I ask him. Maybe I said something dumb. Or I told him something I shouldn’t have. Fuck me for calling him while being high. And fuck Justin for letting me. I wish I could remember what I said because he obviously can and he’s worried about it. 

"No." He smiles at me, all traces of his worrying gone in a split second and then I can no longer see his expression because he's leaning in and I close my eyes when I kiss him. His lips are soft, he tastes like iced coffee which only makes me want to kiss him even more because coffee never tasted this good. 

"Erm wait, not in Scott's kitchen," he giggles when I tug at his bottom lip. Didn't stop him before when he was here with Justin. Although I probably shouldn't mention Justin or he'll get jealous again. Not jealous my ass. 

"Fine," I say and I pull away. He moves in closer, chasing after my lips but I hold him where he is. "Give me a few hours and then we can go back to my place. I don't want my dad to know I didn't go to work today," I say and Winston nods. God, he'd be furious if he found out I got off work and even more if he finds out why. I'd rather not risk it. 

When we go back in the room, Justin is laying on the couch and covering his face with his hands. "Is he dead?" I ask and Scott glares at me. He's rushing around him, fetching him pillows and duvets and drinks. Jeff stands by and observes him worriedly. I think he's starting to see that this may be more than just a cold. Maybe. Hopefully not. 

"Yes," Justin answers me. He takes his hands away from his face and his eyes are puffed up, his nose is runny and his cheeks are inflamed. Oh shit. 

Now I feel bad for making a joke. 

"Is he okay?" Winston asks immediately and he leaves me to crouch down beside Justin. Justin doesn't look ‘okay’ and we all know that. We start talking over each other, Scott telling us Justin needs to rest, Justin insisting that he's fine, Winston asking Justin if he needs anything while Jeff is trying to find out what Justin and I took last night. I keep telling him I don't know. 

"Do you idiots have to be so loud?" The chatter stops abruptly as we stare at William. Look at his highness deciding to join us. He stands in the doorway and his eyes land on Justin. "Looks bad."

"Yeah, no shit," Jeff scoffs and William blushes. William looks one way and Jeff the other. Jeff was always the one to put William in his place.

We ignore Winston’s brother and try to figure out what happened to Justin. Winston stays with him while we go to the kitchen to figure things out without so Justin can’t hear what we’re saying. 

Jeff is starting to sweat, he keeps glancing around nervously and biting his lip. I know he's nervous when he sits down and begins to bounce his leg. He really worries about Justin. 

"Maybe it's just a cold. The flu maybe," Scott says but that's just wishful thinking. Although it could still be the flu. 

"We should call a doctor. I'm not qualified for this shit," Jeff says without stopping the movement of his leg. He scratches the back of his neck and then sighs. He might know how to overcome addiction but this… we don't know what the hell is going on. 

"Let's just wait it out. If it gets worse we'll call a doctor," I suggest and neither of them says anything for a minute. We might be eighteen but we have no idea what to do in situations like this. "I could call my mom," I add and then that seems to seal the deal. Moms always know what to do. We decide that we'll wait for Justin to get better and if it doesn't work then we'll call my mom. 

The three of us walk back into the living room trying to look like we have the situation under control but we get thrown off our game when we see William crouching down beside Justin. 

"What the- Leave him alone!" Jeff shouts and he immediately rushes forward. Clearly, none of us think William has any good intentions. Jeff stops by William's right. He crosses his arms over his chest and looks down at William. That's until William stands up. Trying to be intimidating as always but we all know that Jeff is taller.

"You geniuses couldn't tell that he's having an allergic reaction to something?" William says directing it to all of us even though his eyes stay focused on Jeff. They keep glaring at each other, Jeff clenches his jaw and I think a fight is gonna freak out if no one separates them. 

"An allergic reaction to what?" Scott asks. Winston is patting Justin’s knee and Scott sits on the edge of the couch to brush Justin's hair away from his eyes. 

"Drugs. Has he taken anything in the past hour?" William asks and he drops his usual cocky attitude for a split second. This is weird. William actually being helpful for once? What does he want in return?

"I haven't!" Justin protests the second everyone stares at him accusingly. He wouldn't just get high right now, would he? 

"Wait, I gave him an aspirin or something an hour ago," Scott says glancing at the clock. "Or _about_ an hour ago. But that's it. Does it count?"

The next few minutes are a bit of a chaos as William rushes upstairs, Jeff moves closer to me and Justin has a sneezing fit. Man, he does not look good. 

Winston keeps telling him he's gonna be fine because William knows what he's doing. I highly doubt it but I keep my mouth shut. 

"Got your mom on speed dial?" Jeff asks me with a nudge and I nod. We might need it if we're putting all our trust in William. Though he wouldn't let Justin die, he's not that evil. Can allergic reactions kill people?

When William comes back, he looks around the room and he sighs before approaching me and Jeff. We're practically standing shoulder to shoulder. Putting up a good front if you ask me. He hands something to Jeff and the both of us glances at the pills and then back at Winston's brother. "What is this?" Jeff also scrunching up his nose as he turns the packet around to check for writing.

"Pills. They'll help him."

" _What_ pills?" Jeff presses on. He's got the balls to stand up to William and not back down. I know not to interrupt. 

"You wouldn't understand." William rolls his eyes in his 'I'm better than everyone' way which only pisses Jeff off more. 

"Try me." 

So then we have to go through this excruciating process of William trying to sound like a qualified doctor while Justin is on the couch dying. Trust William to use this as an opportunity to show off. 

"Fuck sake, just give him the damn pills if it helps!" Scott snaps ending the bickering between Jeff and Winston's older brother. 

"Here," I say and I pass the pills to Scott after pulling them out of Jeff's grasps. He didn't seem to object. 

Winston steps back and lets Scott take care of his boyfriend while the rest of us watch. Only William has the urge to but in. 

"He won't get better straight away so… keep an eye on him." William hates Justin. He wants Scott to himself and now… What happened to him in the one day that he was away? I'll have to ask Winston. 

"And what if he… doesn't get better?" Winston asks which only receives him a glare from Scott and a nervous laugh from Justin. It would suck if Scotty killed his boyfriend with aspirin. 

William shrugs casually. "He will." 

***

Justin did start to get better but then being the liar that he is, he said he wants to lay down because he doesn't feel well. Yeah sure. It was clear he just wanted us to get out so he could have Scott all to himself.

And seeing as we're all such good friends we left them to it. They have a lot to do now that they're back together I guess. Although I'm still not sure if they're dating.

Jeff and Winston stand in the front yard with me. Jeff doesn't wanna go yet so he lit a joint and now he and I are sharing it. 

"Shit man, the old man wants me to renovate the place. It's been abandoned for years and he wants _me_ to renovate it," Jeff complains and he taps his foot against the gravel as he inhales. He's talking about Mr Oaxley, the guy who knows the book store. I don't know why he bothers keeping it open when he could probably get a shit tone of money for selling the place.

"I'd pay to see you try to renovate the place. Would probably end up suffocating on the plies and piles of dust," I add and Jeff passes the joint to me. He licks his lips and then he shakes his head. 

"Don't remind me," he says and then he scoffs and looks down at his shoes. "I don't get paid enough for this bullshit. I've never even held a paintbrush in my hand."

"Why am I not surprised?" someone cuts in and we don’t even need to look to recognise that voice. Winston looks at me and I roll my eyes.

“William,” I say and he gives me a small nod. He turns to Winston but I’m not done with him yet. “What happened to your nose?” I ask, pointing to my own. His jaw tightens. “You should have that checked out.”

Winston looks away awkwardly and William stares straight at me. “No need. The guy who did that punches like a girl.”

“Sexist. Add that to the list of all the things wrong with you,” Jeff jumps to my defence and then he reaches over to take the joint from me. Surprisingly William doesn’t have anything to say about that. He just turns back to his brother.

“From Sam,” William says and then he takes an envelope out of his pocket and passes it to Winston. He walks away without looking back.

Winston looks inside the envelope to reveal a bunch of cash. I frown. “Who’s Sam?” First, it was his ex Louis and now this Sam guy who’s paying him for God knows what.

Winston actually grins and raises his eyebrow. “Now who’s jealous?” He gives me a light nudge and then he shakes his head. “It’s just one of William’s friends. I think. I worked for her yesterday. Took some photos.”

A girl. I’ve got nothing to worry about then. 

“Here,” Jeff says and he passes the joint back to me. He looks towards the path. “I’ve gotta get going but keep the weed. I’ve got plenty back at the book shop. See you.”

Winston and I follow along with goodbye and he gives us a small wave before making his way down the path, in the opposite direction that we’ll be going in.

“Do remember what you promised me? About going back to the city?” Winston starts the second we set off. We walk slowly because if we get home too early my dad will know that something is up. 

“Mhm.” That I remember, I wish I could remember shit from last night too but I can’t. And I’m already high. Fuck, maybe I should tone it down a little. Winston walks by my side in silence. “Told you we can go next week. I’m off work then,” I add and then he looks up at me and smiles. I love it when he smiles at me.

“Promise? The full week?” he makes sure and I nod. It’s just a week, if it makes him happy I’ll do it. “Good. ‘Cause I was thinking we could get Justin and Scott to come too,” he adds with a shrug and I raise an eyebrow.

“Why?” Thought it was gonna be just us. But maybe not being alone would be a good idea too.

Winston slips his hand into mine. He’s nervous. I think. I don’t know, it’s kinda hard to read him today when he’s acting so weird. He usually isn’t this quiet. “They’re our friends, aren’t they? And I like them together,” he says simply. 

“Yeah, and what will they buy the plane tickets with?” I ask. Scott has some cash saved up but Justin? Not much. He blows all his money on drugs the dumb fuck.

Winston seems to have it all figured out though. “We’re taking the train actually. It’s cheaper.” And longer but I don’t say that. At least we won’t have to struggle through airport security. "I've got it all figured out. Stayed up all night thinking about it." 

"Seriously?" I ask and he blushes. 

"Too much?"

"What? No, I think it's cute," I say and he laughs quietly. I squeeze his hand. "You remember that other thing we talked about?" I stare at him, my eyes flickering from his lips to his eyes. His brow furrows while he thinks about it and I lick over my bottom lip. "That… thing."

"Oh," he says and his cheeks redden. "You mean…?" He looks at me, his eyes searching my face uncertainly and then he grins. "Sure. I remember."

***

I didn't tell him what I wanted to do until we got to the barn. First he blushed and then he went to take a shower. 

After about twenty minutes, he comes out from the steamy bathroom with just a black towel draped around his hips. "So where do you want me? _How_ do you want me?" he asks cockily with a small raise of his eyebrows. He walks past the chair that I’m sitting on and then he drops his towel to the floor on his way to my bed. 

I think his confidence makes up for the lack of mine. I'm gonna fuck up so bad. "Erm… How do you usually do it?" I ask. He's got experience, he knows what he likes and what he doesn't like. 

He sits down on the edge of the bed and then he lays down and puts his hands behind his head. "Usually? I've never done this before," he admits with a shrug. I frown. He must be joking, but he's not. At least I'll be his first at something.

"How about this?" Winn turns around to get on his hands and knees. Then he places his head on the pillow and raises his ass in the air while arching his back. 

"Yeah, okay," I say quietly and then he turns to lay on his back again. I glance at him nervous and unsure of what he wants me to do but then he sits up and spreads his arms. 

"Come here." So I walk towards him and he wraps his arms around me and pulls me onto the bed. "Why are you so nervous? Relax." He takes my flannel off and gently places a kiss on my shoulder. I let out a deep sigh and then he puts his hand under my T-shirt. "Too many clothes."

I smile and then I tug the shirt over my head. He let's go of me and then sits back and watches me take the rest of my clothes off. As soon as my jeans are at my ankles, he pulls me back onto him again. 

"Oh, fuck," I gasp and he laughs again. I kick my pants off and then he flips me over and gets on top. "What are we doing?" I ask him and I put my hands behind my head. 

"Having fun?" He leans down and kisses me. And oh shit, I feel like I haven’t kissed him in ages. My hands fly to his hair, running my fingers through it as he kisses my mouth, my chin and then my lips again. His hair is damp but I don't mine and so when he kisses my cheek, I bury my nose in his hair. 

"Fuck you smell so good," I mutter and I bring my other hand to his hip. I squeeze tight, then move down and squeeze his ass. 

He gasps. "Because I smell like you." And then he slides down and tugs my boxers down. "I wanna blow you," he says with wide eyes that dart right to my half-hard cock. 

"Okay," I whisper and then Winn kisses down my stomach. I feel myself getting hard as his hands grab onto my hips. His mouth leaves a trail down to one of my thighs and then he switches to the other. 

Somehow my hands get tangled up in his hair and I try to move his head but he pulls away. "Jesus, Monty. Miss me that much?" he asks and looks up at me. 

"If I say yes will you get on with it?" Winston shrugs. "Then yes, I missed you." And we both know it's true. I expect him to continue with the teasing but he doesn't, he swallows my dick all the way down even though I'm not fully hard and then he pulls back. My cock is coated in his spit and then his hands go to work, jerking me off at a steady pace. 

"Tell me how much you missed me again," he orders and he squeezes around the tip. My hips jerk forward involuntarily and I groan. How can a fucking handjob be so good? 

"F-Fuck. Fuck," I chant under my breath as he keeps going. But I learned my lesson from last time, if he wants me to do something I'll do it. "Missed you so much. Couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Is that why you got high with Justin? Because you missed me?" he asks and there's an edge to his voice as he leans down and sucks on the tip. Fast and hard. 

"Ah. Oh-F-Wait." The words fumble out of my mouth and he slows down and pulls back. "You're not jealous of Justin, are you?"

He raises his eyebrows and then scoffs. "No. I'm not," he says but his eyes tell a different story. 

"You can't honestly-" I stop myself and then I run my fingers through my hair. As if Justin could ever even- What can I do to make him see that? 

"Lay down," I order and he hesitates but then he obeys, laying his feet on the pillows and his head at the foot of the bed. 

Then it gets to the part when it might get weird. "Is it okay if I blow you?" I ask him and his eyes widen. I just wanna try something. While I'm not nervous. "And I'm doing this with _you_. Not Justin. Stop thinking about Justin, he's nothing more than something friend."

Winston nods and then he grins at me. "I'll blow you too." Then he grabs my hips and pulls me towards him. I have to weirdly turn so that I have both my knees on either side of his head and he slowly licks my cock from base to tip. 

It takes me a moment to remember what I'm doing and when I do, I move so that my head is where his crotch is. He's already hard and I start with my hand first like he did. I spit on it and then I circle my thumb around the tip. I just wanna make him feel good. 

So I lean down and I fit as much as I can into my mouth. About half. Then I pull back. I do it again and again until I'm used to it. Feeling it in my mouth, my lips stretched out, breathing through my nose… 

It's a slow process especially when I have to stop every few seconds to grab onto something because Winston changes the speed of whatever he's doing. He's good at this, so fucking good. 

Once his cock is covered in my spit, I wrap my hand around the base and then I try to recreate what he did. I twirl my tongue around the tip and his hip twitches. I've never tried to do this to him before but there's just something about it… 

And then he swallows me down and I remember that he's got me in the palm of his hand just like I do with him. He's like addictive or something. Again, it takes me a second to calm down after he picks up the pace. I help out a little, shallowly thrusting into his mouth while my own mouth copies the movement. We're going at roughly the same pace except he seems to be doing it better. 

Again, I mimic what he's doing by putting my hand around the base end squeezing tight. He puts one hand on my hip and grabs on tight making me groan with his cock still in my mouth. 

He gasps and almost chokes. It turns me on just thinking about him choking on my dick. That's what I keep think about while I bob my head up and down, twists my hand and make sure to let spit run down the side to make it easier. Who knew I could actually be good at this, it would be a waste for me not to be gay. 

"Monty, fuck. I'm gonna come," he tells me and I know, his legs are tensing up and I can feel him throbbing in my mouth. Maybe he wants me to stop him from coming but I don't know how long I could continue doing this, my jaw already hurts and It's starting to become hard to keep going. 

My thrusts slow down and so does his mouth but I keep going, moving my hand at the same time. He digs his nails into my hips and then his own hips buckle and he comes with a hard shudder. 

Oh fuck, I haven't thought about this. Because now his come is in my mouth and I think I'm supposed to swallow but I haven't done this before. Tastes weird, kind of bitter but I close my eyes and I swallow it down. I'm not a pussy, I can swallow some come once in a while. 

Winston pushes me off of him, getting me on my back and I grunt at the sudden action. I'm still hard, still haven't come because he stopped just before I could. Now the pressure in the pit of my stomach is slowly going away but I'm still painfully hard. 

Winston gets off the bed and I raise an eyebrow at him, wondering what he's doing when he gets on his knees by the side of the bed and tells me to come over. 

He doesn't have to tell me twice, I'm standing in front of him, one hand on top of his head and he smiles at me. "Come on my face?" he asks innocently. I look down between his legs and he hasn't gone soft yet. But I made him come with my mouth. That's one thing I can cross off my to-do list. 

My face heats up at his suggestion and I think back to what Justin said about him that one day. Justin is haunting our sex life. But I'll do it. Fuck, I want to do it. 

And then Winston pulls me out of my thoughts by bringing his mouth closer to my cock and starting to lick at the tip. I bite my bottom lip and try to make the minimal amount of noise as I grab the back of his head and I push his head forwards. He doesn't resist. In fact, he seems to be enjoying it as I control the movement of his mouth, pulling and pushing his head faster and faster. Then he wraps his hand around his cock and begins to touch himself. 

I groan just thinking about him getting turned on by sucking me off. Everything about him turns me on. And then I'm moving his head back and forth until I can barely contain myself anymore. 

His mouth feels so warm and so right I just wanna come down his throat but that's not what he asked for. I roughly pull out of his mouth and start jerking off over his face. He closes his eyes, sticks his tongue out and tilts his head upwards. The head of my cock brushes again the tip of his tongue and the first stripe hits his face. I keep coming, covering his tongue, streaking his cheek and even getting some on his eyebrow.

The movement of my hand continues long after I'm done and then Winston blindly taps my thigh. "Towel," he reminds me so then I leave him kneeling by my bed to get a towel from the bathroom. Except we already have a towel, the one that was wrapped around his waist. He dropped it on the floor so I pick it up, run it under some warm water and then I come back. 

I start with his cheeks and then his mouth even though be licked it clean. I make sure to clean around his eyes, his eyebrows, nose… then when I'm done I crouch down beside him and I kiss the tip of his nose just as he begins to open his eyes. "You’re so fucking adorable,” I say and he laughs shortly.

"Even with come on my face?" he teases and I grin. 

"Even more so with come on your face." He smiles back and then he leans in and kisses me. Really kisses me like he missed me. His lips work on mine, his hands holding onto my arms and his nose bumping into mine. 

I throw the dirty towel on the floor just so I can put my hands on the sides of his face. My thumb caresses his cheek and then slowly, he pulls away. 

“You still wanna do that thing?” he asks me and I hesitate before nodding. Fuck it. Might as well. “You sure?” Winston checks again and I nod. I lean in, press my lips to his so he knows that I mean it. 

He gets back on the bed, positions himself however he’s comfortable and then he brings my pillow closer to his head. I join him, standing behind him, letting my hands run down his back and caress the smooth skin. I run my pointer finger along his spine. Down, down down… His breath hitches and then he’s arching his back, needing more. 

“Monty…” he says, his voice sounding dangerously low. I get on my knees at the foot of the bed, spread him apart like Scott told me to. Great, now I’m thinking about Scott. I close my eyes and listen to the tiny breaths Winston lets out when I circle my finger over the rim of his tight hole. It’s back to thinking about just him. Me and him only.

I lick a stripe over it, letting my saliva act like lube. Winston whimpers, he’s saying something about needing more but I know I need to give him more. I need to. The tip of my tongue pushes just past the rim and then his body twitches unexpectedly. I lick over the hole again, trying to calm him down. Then I pull back. “Colour?”

“Green,” he answers breathlessly. I just needed to make sure he still wanted this. He does. 

So then I lean in further, blowing air against the wet hole and he gasps. My tongue is dipping in further before Winn can complain about the cold. I’m pulling back, dipping my tongue in again and flicking in until I hear Winston moan.

“That’s good. Fuck that’s so fucking good,” he mutters and then I spread him apart even more, gripping so tight onto his ass that there’s bound to be finger-shaped bruises there tomorrow. He doesn’t care, tells me to keep going and I dig my tongue inside as far as it can go.

I keep going, trying to push in as deep as I can, fucking him with my tongue like I’m an expert at it. I’m not. I pull away again to mouth at his hole, let it rest for a second before dipping my tongue inside again.

“I- Fuc- God,” Winston groans and then I notice that he’s touching himself, fisting his cock like he can’t bear to keep going. He needs to come. Now. I keep going, flicking my tongue inside of him and waiting for that reaction out of him. “I’m gonna fucking-” He moans loudly as his body jerks, his muscles clench around me and he comes for a second time. It’s not as powerful as the first orgasm he had but he lays on the bed, looking exhausted. 

He shuts his eyes and small pants come from his lips as he hangs onto my pillow. I join him on the bed, my hand gently caressing his back as I wait for him to return to reality. 

“So that was…” I begin and he looks up at me with wide eyes before breaking into a grin.

“Heaven,” he finishes and then slowly, he sits up. His hand is dirty and my sheets are dirty. “Can you pass me the towel?” he asks and I sigh before throwing it to him. I’ll have to change the sheets. Great. Lazily, he wipes himself clean and then he throws it away. It lands on the floor and then he grabs my wrist and tries to pull me close to him. 

I thought he wanted to cuddle but the minute I try to put my arm around him he gets on top of me and presses me into the mattress. "Stay on your filthy side of the bed," I say and he scoffs and then he kisses my lips. He's smiling when we pull away. 

"I still wanna fuck."

"Are you serious?" He's serious. 

***

My arms are so sore I can barely move but Winston keeps caressing my cheek. "Baby, you have to wake up," he whispers and then kisses my temple. I try to turn away from him but he won't let me. "You can't miss work," he adds and I groan. Fucking work. 

I try to get out of bed but my muscles ache. I held him up and fucked him last night, he's not heavy but it took a lot of effort to keep him up in the air. Then we stayed in bed and ate popcorn and homemade pizza while watching a movie on my laptop. Although he didn't pay much attention to the film, kept glancing at me like he wanted me to say something.

"What time is it?" I ask and I rub my eyes. I don't even remember falling asleep but I fell asleep sober. I promised him I'd stay sober for the rest of the week because he pulled out the 'if you smoke every day then you're addicted' card and I already know what happened to one of his friends. He shouldn't be worried but I understand why he is. 

"Half-past six," Winston answers and then he slides his hand under the covers to touch my chest. I should get up. 

I open my eyes and he smiles at me. It looks like he's been awake for a while. And he's already dressed. "You coming too?" I ask and then I put my arm around his shoulders and pull him close. He lays his head on my chest and I hope that's enough to distract him. 

"Yeah, I work there too, remember?" he says and I scoff. Yeah as if he 'works'. He eats more apples than he picks and then he spends hours just gossiping with Hannah. "Okay fine, Hannah wants me there. I think she wants to talk about Jeff."

I breathe in sharply. I forgot they broke up. It's gonna be so messy, I don't remember them _not_ dating. Or at least acting like they were dating. "What are you gonna do?"

He shrugs and then buries his face into my chest. "Give her advice? I don't know, I need to hear her out first," he says.

"Just don't make it worse for Jeff."

"I'm not promising anything," Winston says and then he pulls away. We couldn't sleep in the dirty sheets but I couldn't be bothered changing them either. We slept under a blanket which was fine with the weather we have. "And stop distracting me and get up, you're gonna be late for work," Winston says and then he ruffles my hair. I'd usually turn away but I don't move and he keeps smiling. 

"I will," I groan and then Winston pulls the blanket back to uncover my body. "Noo," I whine childishly and then I try to grab it back. 

"Get _up_ ," Winston urges and so I sit up and I roll my shoulders back. He sits on the bed while I get up and I start looking for my clothes in the dark. Closet. I need clean clothes. "Oh, and after work we're going round to Bryce's."

"What?" I ask and I turn to him. Bryce's? Why would we go to Bryce's? I pick out a dark blue and red flannel along with a grey T-shirt. 

"That's where Diego is staying," Winston elaborates and he watches me put my clothes on. "I talked to Charlie and they're still figuring their shit out but… but they're still our friends, right? I wanna see them. They said they don't mind. It'd be nice to hang out. All of us." I smile to myself as I look for shorts now. I love how caring he is. Even if he's only known Charlie and Diego for a few weeks. He's a good friend to have. 

I put my clothes on and bits and pieces of that night keep coming back to me. I remember my conversation with Justin. All of it. I think. And then I remember… calling Winston? He said I called him. 

"Did I... " I turn around and Winston immediately looks up showing me that I have his full attention. "Did I call you to tell you I like you?" I ask and his lips stretch out into a smile. 

"Yeah. You did," he confirms and then he starts to play with a loose thread of his jeans. Light blue, loose, ripped at the knees. He looks good. No wonder I like him. 

Obviously he's cute. And nice. And he cares about our friends. He gets jealous when he thinks I might be feeling things for others guys. Justin? Ew, really? And… he likes me back. This will only end badly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading :)  
> posting this ahead of schedule because why not and an extra for this chapter will be coming out on Tuesday :)


	28. Hard Work Pays Off

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

I threw my shirt away a long time ago. It got ruined by all the cherry juice so now I'm shirtless and so is Scott. Justin thought I'd be funny to stain him with cherries so he'd have to take his shirt off because let's face it, no one wants to walk around in a sticky T-shirt all day especially when it's this hot. 

We had to walk all the way to Bryce's house and my legs are aching like a bitch. Scott feels the same. He's laying down on the towel and rubbing his feet. You'd think we'd be used to all the walking we do around here but no one wants to walk about two miles after a full day of work. 

Winston and Justin had it easy. Winn has a new job now seeing as Mr Baker realised he spends more time gossiping with Hannah than actually working. So while the rest of us work, he and Hannah make lunch for us and then after, they clean up. I know they've been talking about Jeff but Winston won't tell me anything.

And Justin. He does his work but he doesn't try as hard as the rest of us. He's there for entertainment purposes more like. Keeps everyone happy by acting like a clown and that’s good enough for him. 

Diego is still staying with Bryce but at least he's here and he looks good. Happy. Especially with Charlie. Now Diego is laying on the beach chair next to me while Charlie lays on top of him. They look so comical with Charlie being twice Diego's height but having his head on his chest. At least they can make it work. 

"Can't feel my feet," Scott mumbles looking at me. There weren't enough chairs for all of us so Scotty and I played rock paper scissors which is how he ended up laying on the ground like the loser he is. 

"And what do you want me to do about that?" I ask. There's shrieking coming from the pool where Justin is dunking Winston's head underwater. I sigh, I’m too tired to get involved. "If you want someone to rub your feet I'm sure Justin would be more than happy to do so." I grin knowing how grossed out Scott gets just at the thought of someone touching his feet. 

"Ew, dude. Not cool." He shakes his head at me and then we hear more shouting. Both of us turn to look at the pool where Justin is splashing Winston with water, they’re acting like kids. Scott looks at me and he grins. “You going in?”

I shrug. “Maybe later.”

“Alright,” Scott says but then he stands up, he takes off his shorts and I watch him walk towards the pool in just his underwear. He’s got a nice ass. Fuck, why am I even looking? It’s like I just get more and more gay by the second.

Scott sits on the edge of the pool and dips his legs in. Then after a second, Justin notices and he finally leaves Winn alone so he can drag his boyfriend into the water. Winston looks at me for a second like he wants me to go in too but I just smile and give him a wave. I really don’t feel like it today.

“I think I wanna order in,” Bryce says with a sigh. He lifts his sunglasses, puts his drink away and then sits up. I look away from Winston and turn to Bryce because food does sound like a really good idea right now. “Any requests?” My stomach rumbles at the thought of food and I realise that the last time I ate was a few hours ago. I’ll eat anything.

“Fries?” I say and Bryce nods. He knows me well enough to know that means I could easily eat a whole restaurant.

"What about you two?" Bryce asks nodding towards Diego and Charlie. They seem to have bonded over the time that they spent at Bryce's place. 

"Er, pizza?" Diego says and then Charlie adds that he wants ice cream too without opening his eyes. 

"Alright... " Bryce goes inside the house leaving the three of us alone while the other three are still messing about in the water. I think Winston and Scott ganged up on Justin, they’re currently holding him underwater. Glad we all get on now. All of us… we won’t have moments like this soon.

"Hey, you guys wanna come to the city with us?" I ask, turning on my side so I can face my friends. Everyone already knows we're going. Everyone but my parents. I'm gonna have to tell them somehow. Maybe I'll ask Winston to tell them, they seem to like him. 

"I would but isn’t it like… expensive?" Diego asks awkwardly after stealing a look at Charlie. I know what he feels like. Charlie has money, he can go anywhere and do anything he wants. Diego can't take him out and treat him like he'd like to. Yeah, I know what that's like. 

But I've been saving up, all the money from working for the Bakers was put away so I could have it for when I need it. I need it now. 

"Not really," I answer. "We're taking a train, it's cheaper and uh, Winston kinda has it planned out. Our hotel isn't even that expensive." Thanks to Winston for planning everything, the rest of us don't have to do much. And he must have called in a favour or something because there’s no way a four-star hotel is that cheap.

"Might be fun to get out of here," Charlie says like he doesn't really care whether they go or not. He wants to go, wants to see what it's like but he doesn't want to pressure Diego into saying yes. 

"Where are you going?" Diego asks me after a moment of thought. 

First Winston wanted to go to San Francisco but decided that it was a bad idea. He was thinking about New Orleans for a while too but then said that we could go 'later' whatever that meant. "San Diego," I say and then I grin. "See? It's even in the name, you have to go." There's the beaches and the zoos, the museums and the amusement parks… Winston wants to show me everything. He's so excited about it too, can't wait for this week to be over so we can just go. 

Diego glances at Charlie who smiles at him so he turns back to me. "So how exactly… what would it look like? 'Cause to San Diego all the way from Oregon…"

Luckily for me, Winston wouldn't stop talking about it because he was so proud of himself for planning the trip independently. First we have to get on a train all the way to Sacramento which will last about eight motherfucking hours and then from there we hire a car and we drive to San Diego. The journey itself should be about sixteen hours but with breaks and traffic… could take a lot longer. But a least we don't have to travel for thirty nine hours, that was Winston's first and very crappy idea. 

After telling all this to Diego, it’s silent again. I feel like I should say something."It's cheaper than getting the plane though. Easier too," I add but I don't feel like I need to convince him anymore. This is just something that we  _ all _ want, a long trip just for us. Not to a cabin or even just a few towns over but actually going to another state and to San Diego out of all places. I know this isn't what being eighteen is gonna be like but the summer isn't over yet and I'd like to take advantage of it while I can. 

"So about the cars," Diego says. Charlie has gone in the pool a long time ago. It's clear that he and Diego want to come with us. We’re just working out the details. "Will one be enough for all of us?" 

"There's six of us, right?" I say counting us in my head. Zach and Alex are still on the honeymoon, Jeff said he doesn't want to go and we don't really hang out with anyone else so-

"Seven," someone says and when I turn around, Bryce winks at me. I have no idea how much of that he heard but he's keen on going too. We've been worried about costs most of all because we want it to be fair. One car meant that we'd pay less for it when we share the cost. But seven people in one car doesn't sound like fun. 

"And I want my own car," Bryce adds. "Ill pay for it and if anyone wants to join me then that's fine." He shrugs like its nothing but it's everything. He just solved about ninety percent of our problems by paying for his own car. I really fucking respect him. I may have had some issues with him in the past but nah, he's a good guy. I see that now. And he cares about his friends.

"By the way, the food's here," Bryce adds and then he nods towards the house. Finally. 

Then about ten minutes later we're back in the house, away from the sun and laying anywhere we can in Bryce's living room. I got the couch all to myself meaning Winston got the couch too. He squeezed in next to me and now there's a plate resting on my chest so we can eat without having to move.

"All of us are going? That's great!" Justin grins at all of us and then he almost drops his pizza on Bryce's carpet. He's sat in Scott's lap so Scott quickly pulls him back before he can stain any furniture.

The electric fan goes around the room, the air conditioning isn't enough. First it goes to Diego and Charlie who are sat on the ground then Bryce on the other sofa, me and Winn and eventually Scott and his boyfriend on the armchair. We drown out the sound of it with our voices, planning what we're gonna do, what it's gonna be like, where we're gonna go… I really want this week to be over and it's only Tuesday. Wednesday, Thursday and then it'll be time… 

"Hey, do you want the rest of my fries?" Winston asks. I'm squashing him into the sofa so he squirms until he's got one leg in between mine resting there for support. 

I've already eaten about twice of what he's eaten but I don't mind more food. There's always room for food. "Sure," I say sleepily and I rub my eyes. The sun, the warm food and the guys are a good combination. I know I’m gonna miss this.

***

It's two in the morning. I should be sleeping. I have to get up for work in four hours. It’s Winston’s fault that we’re here instead. The beach. His favourite place. I’m sober which would be annoying if Winston’s wasn’t but he is. We’re both sober, didn’t even have a sip of beer at Bryce’s. 

“But I think Jeff should just give her some more time before he thinks about talking to her,” Winston says. All he’s talked about so far is Hannah. He tried to talk to her but she really didn’t want to discuss the Jeff thing. At least I know Winston tried his best to help. 

I stretch, letting the sand stick to my back and not caring about it. It’s just sand. I glance at Winston’s who’s laying right next to me, his shoulder almost touching mine. He raises an eyebrow and I smile before looking away.

“What?” he asks and then he sighs when I don’t answer him anyway. “ _ Anyway. _ Hannah said she can’t imagine a future with a drug dealer.” I was just thinking about how no one else would be able to convince me to me skip sleep and go to the beach instead for the  _ second _ time and now… I’m back to worrying about Jeff.

“Shit,” I mutter. Jeff isn’t gonna like this. I honestly thought Hannah would get over it, it doesn’t seem like that much of a big deal to me. If she just wants to make Jeff suffer a little then she can do that without making him think it’s the end of the world. Honestly man, girls are so much work.

“What did you think when you first saw me?” Winston breaks the silence after a couple of minutes. I look at him and raise my eyebrows. He scoffs. “Come on, I wanna know.” He moves closer to me like he’s trying to persuade me.

“I thought you were… William’s younger brother.” He elbows me in the ribs. Hard. “Ouch, what was the for?” I ask while I rub my side. His boney elbows are like weapons. 

“Do you even have to ask?” He rolls his eyes at me and then he rolls over to lay on his stomach. “I told you what I thought about you when I first saw you. Your turn.” I briefly remember him telling me that he found me hot. That’s about it. And when I point that out, Winston goes into defensive mode. “Okay fine, you want more? I’ll give you more.”

I laugh at how offended he sounds. He’ll do anything to find out what I thought about him at that bonfire. “Okay. You first.” 

He sighs again and then he smiles to himself. “Okay, so… Like I said, I thought you were attractive,” he begins slowly and then he moves to rest his head on my chest. “And then you stood up for me when William kept on…. Being William. And I was just swooning on the inside. Though obviously I didn’t know you then so I made sure I didn’t get too carried away.” He stops to look up at me. “And I told you the rest, I wanted to start off as friends and get to know you. Your turn.”

I think back to that first night I saw him. I couldn't admit it then but I did think he was cute. In a way. And he just… he was interesting. “I thought you were like a cuter version of William. Prettier,” I say while my fingers play with his curls. He lets out a soft chuckle. “But I didn’t wanna seem gay so I just ignored you. Tried not to pay any attention to you.” Scott was pissing me off by making all those jokes and then I didn’t wanna give him something to tease me about. Fortunately he’s not like that anymore. 

“Yeah? You know I caught you staring at me once or twice though, right?” Winston teases me and I try to shrug him off my chest but he clings on tight. “Okay fine, I stared at you too. Fair?”

Knew he would have. But there were way too many of us at that bonfire for anyone to pick up on it. I wonder how we got from there to… here. Through a lot of Winston’s pushiness. I look up at the starts remembering how we lay in almost the exact same place a couple of weeks ago. “Remember when you kissed me?”

Winn scoffs. “Yeah. Remember when you freaked out and basically told me to never kiss you again?” He raises one eyebrow at me and I try not to grin. I fail terribly.

“You know I was… confused back then,” I say. Didn’t really know what I wanted and all Winston did was mess with my head even more. 

"Yeah I know," he says, moving away from me to lay down on the sad again. "And are you now?"

"Am I what?"

"Confused?" he asks and then his eyes narrow. "Are you still confused or…?"

I bite my lip. Confused? I used to be confused. I don't really know what to say. "I… I have most things figured out," I admit. "But… I'm still unsure about other things." Things like what's gonna happen with us. Or if this is gonna end in tears. 

"Things like what?" Winston asks. I pretend not to hear him and he nudges me lightly. "Things like what?"

And somehow he always knows when I'm lying so I can't lie. "Things like… us. Like what happens after this." I say and before I know it, I've got my bottom lip between my teeth again. I'm gonna make it bleed if I don't leave it the fuck alone. 

"Well I'd like it if we stayed in touch," Winston says simply. Something about the way he says it sounds familiar. I try to remember what it reminds me of. Then I get it. 

"Didn't you already say this?" I ask him and his eyes widen for a second. "Like… I don't know I just remember you saying it." Or maybe I'm being a complete idiot and just making things up. 

"Yeah, I," Winston says and he covers his face with his hands to cover how hard he's blushing. "Remember when you called me? When you were high? We had this conversation then." he explains and I wanna facepalm myself. Of course I was high while I had the most important conversation I could have with him. And I remember none of it. What sort of bullshit did I say?

"And what did we decide?" I ask him and he grins to himself. I hate that he's the only one of us who knows exactly what was said then. He could say anything and I'd believe him. 

"That we'd try to stay in touch," he says absentmindedly without looking at me. That's exactly what I wanted but was too scared to tell him. I didn't wanna push him away by coming off as clingy or something. I'm not clingy. 

"Good," I say. We can try to stay in touch. I would be having doubts about this if I wasn't so tired. I don't wanna overthink it, it always ruins everything.

"That's you," Winston says breaking the silence and he points up at the sky. I follow his finger and then I roll my eyes. 

"We're not doing that again." 

Winston laughs. "Come  _ on _ , it's just a bit of fun," he says and then he puts his hands behind his head. "Besides, what else have you got to do?"

I finally give in just because… it's him. And I can't say no to him. "Fine, which one is me?"

He smiles. “This one here.” He points to the sky where I see a bunch of stars. I might just lie and say I know what he’s talking about. “Just look, in the middle of all of them?” Winston says when I don’t reply. He props his head up on his elbow and looks down at me just like he did the first night when he kissed me.

“Um, yeah. I think I see it,” I say unsurely. 

“Okay, well. That’s you,” Winston continues and then he tilts his head to look up at the sky. “You're just… it's like surrounded by all of the other stars but for some reason, it always stands out to me. I love how it's got so many stars around it. Like everyone is attracted to it. Wants to be their friend…” 

If this was anyone else, I’d laugh. Probably make fun of them too. But he isn’t just anyone and I find myself smiling. The stars seem to be a big deal to him. They are for me too.

“Then you’re… this star,” I say pointing to a tiny star that’s right next to a much bigger one. Winston waits for me to elaborate. He’s taking this seriously, he won’t make fun of me. “The big one is William and the little one is you. And people don’t often see the little star because the big one’s in the way but… everyone knows the smaller star is better.” I was just trying to make him smile but he doesn’t say a word and when I glance at him, his lip starts to tremble.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” I sit up and put my arms around his shoulders. He tries to cover his face so I don’t see the tear falling from his eye.

“I’m fine. I promise,” he tries to convince him but he’s not fine. I hug him, knowing that he’ll talk when he’s ready to. And I hope he’s not crying because of me. I hold him for about a minute and his sniffling turns into laughter. “I’m fine, Monty. You’re just…” He pulls away and then smiles at me nervously. “I just really like you.” He looks down and sighs. “And you’re… you’re like the kindest person I’ve ever met. You always look after your friends, you’re… I can’t even describe it.”

"You can say you're in love with me, it's fine," I joke to lighten the mood. He laughs nervously and then it turns silent. Maybe I should say something and not turn what he just told me into a joke. "But, er, that's really sweet. And I like you too. Which you obviously know." He nods and then he wraps his arms around my middle. 

"God I don't know what I'd do without you... " He nuzzles into my neck, tickles me with his nose but it's… good. Really good. 

I put my hand on his back and hug him. 

***

Thursday was more of a lazy day. None of us had work on Thursday because it got called off for some reason but we’re not going until Saturday so… I spent the whole day sleeping. Sleeping everything off because Winston kept me up till 4 am almost every day. I let him. 

We met up with the guy, just a last sort of going out before we set off tomorrow. We have it all sorted out, no need for last-minute planning unless Justin fucks something up. 

But it went fine. We've had drinks with the guys, we talked about the trip and… 

I think we've both had a little too much to drink. We're walking through the dark streets alone, laughing at nothing as if we're the only people on earth. Nothing else seems to matter.

I would make fun of Winston for being such a lightweight if I wasn't so drunk myself. We keep on staggering, tripping up on nothing and bumping into each other. Each time we do it seems to be funnier than before.

_ "I die every night with you!"  _ He sings drunkenly and he runs ahead of me. He trips on a stone and laughs when he staggers forward but manages to stay on his feet. I walk a few meters behind him but I can hear him laughing from here. If there were any houses around, we'd get told to shut the fuck up. It's eleven at night. And the only reason why we're going home already is that we have to set off at five in the morning tomorrow. At least we can sleep on the train. 

"I know you know the song, Monty!" Winston whines and he runs backs to me. He grabs my hands and pulls me towards him. "I heard you humming it, I know you know it. Sing with  _ me." _

And then he breaks into song again. I only know the song because I've heard Scott listening to it plenty of times. We'd be in his room, messing about and his playlist would be playing in the background. Troye Sivan.

"Living for your every…" he stretches out every word and waits for me to continue with a stupid grin on his face. 

I sigh. "...Move."

"Yay! You did it!" he squeals and then he skips along again. He doesn't stop singing as he skips in front of me, twirls around and trips multiple times. I really like him. 

And at some point I join in, muttering the lyrics under my breath until I get so intoxicated on his laughter that I'm bellowing the lyrics myself without even knowing. We may have mashed two or three songs together. 

" _ Now, let's stop running from love…"  _ Winn is out of breath and he slows down, his hip bumps into me. "I can't go home like this," he tells me in between laughs. His hair is all tousled, his shirt is crumbled and there's a grass stain on his cream shorts. "William is gonna kill me. Right after he rats me out to our parents." William... The bastard just won't let Winston have any fun. And I’d tell him to stay at my place but he has to go and pack for the trip.

"Fuck him," I say. William doesn't even know how to have fun himself. He thinks picking on people is funny and he doesn't know when to stop. It's best to stay away from that guy. He'll never change. 

"Mhm," Winston agrees and then he stops to leans against the wall of one of the buildings. It's an old run-down building, I think it used to be a house a couple of years ago. Now it's just a wall to lean on.

"You okay?" I ask him and I stand with him. He closes his eyes and nods as he moves to rest his back against the wall.

"Just feeling a little dizzy," he tells me and then sighs softly. Yeah dizzy from all the jumping and running around. I move closer to him and I place my hands on his hips. A smile creeps up on his face and he opens his eyes. How long has it been since I last kissed him? Too long.

Winston wraps his arms around my neck and then he lets his thumb move back and forth over the nape of my neck. I bring my body closer to him until he's trapped in between me and the wall. He doesn't complain even though the rocky wall must be digging into his back.

"I missed you," he tells me. Missed me? I've been spending every single second of my days with him. He licks his lips and tilts his head upwards. He knows exactly what he's doing. We were able to keep our hands off of each other all evening, I think we deserve a little reward. 

I move in closer, my lips hovering over his and he stares at them like he's in a daze. I bring my right hand up to his hair and tangle my finger into the curls at the back of his head. As I'm leaning in, I push his head towards mine until our lips meet. It's soft and slow, not messy and urgent like I thought it would be.

"I couldn't stop thinking about kissing you all day," Winston mumbles against my lips as I pull away slightly to let us breathe. Just kissing me? I was going crazy just watching him sit on the chair in the bar. He kept sorting his hair out and smiling in between drinks. He had me feeling drunk even before I took the first sip of my drink.

I can taste the alcohol on his lips as I move in to kiss him again. This time it's more urgent. His thumb starts pressing into my neck and he arches his back to press his body closer to mine. Winston lifts his leg up slightly until our hips slot together, it's like clockwork.

He starts moving his hips in slow circular motions and I'm already going crazy. Just a few hours of not touching him he's able to make me horny just by kissing me. 

But he's hornier. I feel the bulge in his short against my own and he starts to pick up the pace, rubbing his crotch against mine. He's having way too much fun. I tighten my grip on his hips as I pull my hand away from his hair and I push him against the wall so that he can't move his hips against mine. He doesn't like it.

Winn pulls away and groans. "God, Monty. I need you." We're in public but he doesn't seem to care as he smashes his lips onto mine. I pull away and I move down to place a kiss on his jaw. I want to mark him so badly but I can't, it would be too obvious. Even though the guys know I'm sleeping with him, I don't want them seeing what I do to him. I move down to his neck and I start sucking at the spot just below his jaw. 

He lets out small groans as he tugs at my hair. I trace my tongue over a spot that I sucked on for too long, it might leave a mark but it's not even that visible. I lightly graze my teeth against his neck and Winn shivers. So I press my hips into his to feel how hard he is.

"Jesus, you're so fucking horny," I tell him and he lets out a chuckle that quickly turns into a moan when I begin sucking at that one spot between his jaw and his neck, right under his ear.

"You-You..." he tries to say but he doesn't manage to. He slurs his words and I'm not sure if it's because of the alcohol or because of me.

We might be in public but there's no one around for miles. No one is going to see us. I loosen the waistband of his shorts with my hand and he whines as my hand finds his cock in his shorts.

I don't waste any time trying to go slow, I stroke him fast and hard causing him to gasp. Though I have to stop and spit into my hand to make it easier to jerk him off.

"You like this?" He only manages to nod. He throws his head back against the wall and breaths heavily as I keep stroking him. My own cock seems to grow harder and harder at every moan and groan that he lets out. "Sssh... “ So Winston presses his lips together and I press him further into the wall.

"Monty..." My cock twitches just at the sound of him moaning my name. If only he knew how horny _ I  _ am.

"Don't fucking talk," I tell him because it's hard concentrating on jerking him off when my own cock is begging to be touched too. 

He moves closer to rest his head on my shoulder and my shirt muffles his groans and whines. It's unbelievable how just my hand can control him like this. I stop for a second to flex my fingers and then I start stroking even faster making sure to relax at the base and squeeze around the tip.

Winston's teeth sink into my shoulder and I can barely think as he starts painful tugging in my hair. He's close and I'm about to make him come in the middle of the street. He seems to realize that too just as I feel how tight the skin around his balls is.

"Wait," he breaths out into my shoulder. "I can't come in my shorts." He really shouldn't have said that. I stop abruptly and he groans in protest.

"You don't wanna come?" I whisper into his ear and he shivers as my lips make contact with his earlobe. 

"N-no," he manages to stutter but I can see how difficult he's finding it to form a sentence. His dick is throbbing in my hand and he starts thrusting into my hand. "I do wanna come. I do wanna come."

"Nu-huh," I say and I push him back against the wall. He digs his nails into my back to try to make me stay but I take a small step back and take my hand out from his shorts to make my point. I'm the one in control here.

He almost slams my body into his in a desperate attempt to make sure I don’t leave him like this. "Please make me come," he breaths out into my ear. His voice is rough and I could almost give in. "Monty, I want you to make me come."

Really shouldn't have said that either. But I resume jerking him off and he breathes out in relief. But the strokes are slow and I know they're not what he wants.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” I whisper into his ear and he gasps and I feel his thighs tense up. It's only a matter of time until he comes. I press my hips against his. My own cock is now throbbing too painful to let me concentrate. I start thrusting against his leg and he groans.

"I won’t. I’m sorry," he says breathlessly so I rub him down harder and faster. But I don't want him to come in his shorts either. I sink to my knees just as I feel his cock twitch in my hand. I pull his shorts down with one quick tug and swallow him down just as it starts leaking. I leave my hand around the base and I keep moving it as he comes into my mouth.

His shorts are at his knees and I've got my mouth full of his cock and come, I almost wish someone would walk past and see us like this. Just the thought of it makes my heart hammer in my chest.

Winston's hips buckle as I swallow the last of his come. He keeps a firm grip on my hair until he can feel his legs again. Finally, I pull away and let his cock slip out of my mouth as it starts to soften. I'm still hard as a rock.

Winston is still basking in his orgasm, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted. I pull his shorts over his cock again and I stand up from my knees. Winn grins at me when we're at eye level again. "Hi," he says innocently like he hasn't just come in my mouth a few seconds before. His eyes rest on my lips and I move my hands up to his hips. I'm sure that by now his back must be numb from the rocky wall.

I kiss him and I try my best not to let me cock touch him, I don't want him to get hard again. He presses his lips to mine and then he pulls away and rests his forehead against mine.

"How hard are you?" he whispers and I feel his hands moving to my own shorts. I'm not a desperate little bitch like him, I'm not going to let myself come on the side of the road.

"Don't you worry about me," I tell him. 

He groans in protest and kisses me again. He nibbles at my bottom lip but I'm not changing my mind. I just need to take my mind off of him and then it won't be as painful anymore. 

"I want you so bad," he tells me and he starts pulling my shorts down. I snatch his wrists away because he's really not helping. "Please fuck me."

I'd love to. I'd love fuck him here where anyone could see. Where anyone could see that he’s all mine. I’d fuck him so hard that I’d have to carry him home.

"You're so fucking drunk," I say instead and I laugh as I start to move away. He tries to pull me back but I don't let him. I just start walking away from him. The erection throbs painfully against my thigh but I just need to ignore it. I need to at least try to seem in control so he doesn't know how badly I need him right now.

He follows me but he keeps his distance and we return to stumbling and laughing as if nothing ever happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you thought of this :)


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